November 22, 1994: It was the first anniversary of the Gumby Bible group poem

Thirty years ago today 

            On Tuesday I posed until 15:00 at Central Technical School. After work I went home and did some typing to prepare the Gumby Bible group poem to be read at my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage for the Gumby Bible’s first anniversary. Then as usual I used last week’s Gumby Bible poem as a prompt to compose a new poem that each week I referred to as the Commentary on the Gumby Bible. I left my place at around 19:00 and headed down to the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel where my open stage was held. I moved the keyboard into the main bar by myself because the co-owner of the Gladstone, Herbie Appleby wasn’t there like he said he would be. I carried the big screen TV behind the curtain into the old stage area of the Art Bar that was now being used for storage. I swept the floor of the Art Bar and then brought in extra chairs and tables. I figured out a new arrangement that would allow for up to 42 people. 

            When we kicked off the event I got Mary to read last week’s group poem and then I had Diana Scala read my commentary. Diana was our first featured poet, followed by John Margerm. I passed out some poetry by Angeline. Tom Smarda did a song and then he and I sang his song “Don’t Forget Resurrection”. Howard, Yuri, Matthew, and Brendan performed. Brendan Cahill did a great piece about all of us, calling me “The Lanky Lion” and Mary “The Big Mama”. I had each feature give some of their poetry to three other people for them to read and thereby give new perspectives on the works. I saw Adina to the bus stop and said goodnight rather than kiss her since she’d broken up with me.

Dianne Jackson

            On Wednesday morning I memorized the second verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg and that’s half the song. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice and after about an hour the plumbers arrived. 

            It took them about half an hour to remove the obstruction and luckily it wasn’t further than the ten meters their snake could reach because that would have required a different and more expensive machine. They showed me a picture of the black guck on the snake and said that the problem is that the kitchen stack is rusted and it’s catching matter that would otherwise flow freely. So because of that the problem will occur again. The ultimate solution would be for my landlord to replace the stack but that would cost a few thousand dollars and involve cutting open the walls, which I doubt Raja would be willing to do. He gave me a tip to keep the pipe as clean as possible and to prevent having to snake it again too soon. He said I should once a week fill both kitchen sinks halfway with hot water and then let it go. That will flush the pipes. He says he does it at home and doesn’t even worry about putting grease down the drain. After tax it cost me $316 but I think it was worth it to avoid the hassle of waiting for my landlord and dealing with his obnoxious accusations. It was gratifying to get a confirmation that I am not the cause of the problem. 

            I asked if it was normal for them to work in pairs and learned that one of them is an apprentice. He needs 9000 hours in the field to graduate and that will take about five years. 

            I weighed 87 kilos before a late breakfast at 11:30, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning in a week. 

            I weighed 87.8 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Metro in Parkdale on my way home. I bought five bags of grapes and two bananas.

            I weighed 86.75 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:36. 

            I reviewed the song practice videos of my performances of “Vomit of the Star Eater” from October 11 to 14. On all of those days I played it on my Martin acoustic guitar. On October 11 the take at 11:45 was okay. On October 12 somehow part A of that day’s video is corrupted and couldn’t be played even though I viewed it before a few days ago. On October 13 the take at 14:45 was okay. On October 14 the take at 11:30 wasn’t bad. 

            I didn’t have time to practice for my performance at my book launch on December 1. I only have ten days of rehearsals left before the event. 

            I made pizza on multigrain sandwich bread with Italian sausage pasta sauce and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 3, episodes 4 and 5 of The Beatles cartoon series. 

            In story 1 of episode 4, The Beatles are at the Department of Internal revenue paying their taxes. John is on top of a truckload of money tossing bundles of bills and bags of coins to George, who tosses them to Paul, who tosses them to Ringo, who throws them in the door of the tax office. Then everybody gets hit in the head with money except for John who falls off the truck. While unconscious they all dream together of being back in the time of Robin Hood. Robin knows Ringo who shows him his tax notice. Robin speaks in “these” and “thous” while Little John uses jive talk like a Beatnik. He says, “Maintain your cool Ringo baby, we’ll get the bread.” They show up for an archery contest but it’s a trap set by the Sheriff of Nottingham. While taxes are being collected and while the sheriff is chasing Robin and his men, The Beatles play “I’m the Taxman”, which was written by George with some help from John. It was a response to the 95% supertax imposed on The Beatles by Harold Wilson’s Labour government. It was also a protest against using money taken from The Beatles to manufacture military weapons. They get hit on the head again and wind up back in their present. 

            The first singalong is to “Got to Get You Into My Life”. The second singalong is to “Here There and Everywhere”, which was written by Paul. 

            In story 2 of episode 4, The Beatles come across some children teasing an elderly woman named Eleonor Rigby and calling her a witch. The Beatles chauffeur James tells the children that Rigby is just lonely and shy. The Beatles sing “Eleonor Rigby” for the children, which inspires them to be kind to Rigby and she is transformed and shown happy and in colour. The Beatles play “I Feel Fine” at a party for Rigby as she dances.

            In story 1 of episode 5, The Beatles are hiking when they come to a Stonehenge type circle of piled stones at the centre of which is a well. Ringo falls down and then so do the others to the land at the Inner World at the centre of the Earth, the architecture and costumes of which resemble that of the Incas. They enter a statue and through its eye holes they can see the people worshipping it outside. When they speak to the people the natives are frightened and run, all except for one girl who bows to the statue in fear. To calm them down The Beatles play “Tomorrow Never Knows”, which was written mostly by John, inspired by LSD and the book The Psychedelic Experience by Leary, Alpert and Metzner. From that book he lifted the line "Whenever in doubt, turn off your mind, relax, float downstream." The title comes from one of Ringo’s off the cuff statements. It’s considered to be one of the most influential psychedelic songs ever recorded. The natives and the girl dance to the music and join in playing it on their instruments. When the natives speak it sounds like backward voices on tape and only Ringo understands. There are four girls they want the Beatles to marry and so they run back to the well to fall through it again but this time back to the surface. 

            The first singalong is to “She Said She Said”, which was written by John with help from George. It was inspired by something Peter Fonda said during an acid trip with The Byrds and the Beatles. Paul refused to take the drug and is not in the recording. The second singalong is to “Long Tall Sally”. 

            In story 2 of episode 5, The Beatles are in the recording studio and trying to play “I’ve Just Seen a Face” with Ringo on lead vocals. But Ringo has lost his voice. So the Beatles take him to the haunted house to try to scare his voice back. Ringo stumbles and knocks a mop head over his hair and also some flour so now he is all white and when he looks in the mirror he falls in love while The Beatles play “I’ve Just Seen a Face”, which was written by Paul. Ringo chases his own image. 

            The background and animation for “I’ve Just Seen a Face” was done by Dianne Jackson, whose first credits as an animator were for Yellow Submarine. She directed the animated films “The Snowman” and “Grandpa”.

November 21, 1994: I tried to be enthusiastic in bed with Miguel but couldn't really get there

Thirty years ago today

            On Monday I caught a 7:55 Main bus and made it to Yorkdale with about ten minutes to spare to catch the bus to Shoppers World in Brampton. At Shoppers World I waited for what felt like another ten minutes for the 2A Southbound. I got off at Meadowlark and got a little lost but finally found the house of Mistress Maria’s slave Miguel. It turned out that he was black. According to Maria’s previously given instructions he undressed me and courteously sucked my cock. Then I did the same and he hung up my wet clothes for me. He led me to the bedroom and invited me to lie down. Then he started caressing and fellating me and was pretty enthusiastic. I tried to be but couldn’t really get there. We even kissed on the mouth quite a bit. After a while I asked him to fuck me but it hurt and he could tell and so he asked if I wanted him to stop. I nodded yes and after that felt very light headed. I tried to fuck him but after getting the condom on I couldn’t maintain an erection. So I just fucked him with two fingers and licked his balls while he made himself come. We laid on the bed for a while, talking and holding hands. Near his bed he had an altar that was kind of half Catholic and half Voodoo reflecting his Dominican culture. We got dressed, he gave me a soda and I drank it while he told me the best way to the bus. It was still wet out when I left. I walked to a plaza where I bought some french fries and then I caught a bus the long way around to downtown Brampton. Then I took the GO bus back to Toronto.

Alison de Vere

            On Tuesday I went to bed a little after 1:00 but didn’t sleep much because I was worried about my kitchen drain and wondering if I could go around the landlord and just hire a plumber to snake it on my own. 

            After yoga I memorized the chorus of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg and revised my translation. 

            I called a local plumber and asked if they could snake my drain without going through the landlord and he said “Absolutely”. I made an appointment for them to come between 9:00 and 11:00 tomorrow. I felt good about that decision because last time the landlord made me wait a month and played a blame game with me whenever the problem was discussed. I’ll use the bathroom sink until tomorrow. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice and it went out of tune a lot. Tomorrow I begin a four session stretch of playing my electric guitars. 

            I weighed 87.15 kilos before breakfast. 

            I put away my laundry from yesterday and then only had a bit of time to work on sanding the inside of my bathroom door. I’ve got about a third done. 

            I weighed 87.55 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at the Metro in the Annex to buy grapes. Only three bags were not too soft. On the way home another cyclist was riding on the wrong side and stopped just short of hitting me, then gave me a dirty look and said, “Jesus fucking Christ!” as if I had been in the wrong. 

            I weighed 87.1 kilos at 17:52. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:51. 

            I reviewed the song practice videos of my performances of “Vomit of the Star Eater” from October 8 to 10. On October 8 I played it on my Martin acoustic guitar and the take at 12:45 wasn’t bad and looked good. On October 9 and 10 I played it on my Kramer electric guitar. On October 9 the take at 15:30 sounded okay. On October 10 the take at 11:00 didn’t sound bad but a glitch at around 11:30 caused it to freeze. I tried different players and it froze in the same place every time. If I start the video after the point of freezing it finishes fine. That’s never happened before. 

            I managed to get in more than half an hour of practice at relearning how to play my song “Paranoiac Utopia”. I made some progress but I still can’t get through the whole song so I need more time since there are only eleven days left before my book launch.

            I roasted a sirloin tip and had a slice with a potato and gravy while watching season 3, episodes 2 and 3 of The Beatles cartoon series. 

            In story 1 of episode 2, The Beatles have accompanied an ornithologist named Miss Twitter and her assistant Dr. Miles on a field trip but the band just wants to relax under a tree. She’s found the green double breasted tropical worsted that can sing anything but Ringo just wants to eat it. Twitter is trying to catch the bird and Miles is trying too, even though he hates birds, because he’s in love with Twitter. The bird lands on his head and sings “You ain’t nothin but a hound dog, yeah yeah yeah”. While the bird is evading capture, The Beatles sing “And Your Bird Can Sing”. The bird builds a cage and lures Twitter into it and then Miles. The bird is trying to bring the two together romantically. Then the Beatles follow the bird away as it whistles the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai. 

            The first singalong is to “Penny Lane”. The second singalong is to “Eleonor Rigby”, which both John and Paul claimed to have written the greater portion. George Martin agrees with Paul. “Ah look at all the lonely people” was George’s line. Ringo came up with “Writing the words to a sermon that no one will hear” and “Darning his socks”. The singalong presents the song with a series of photographs and the only animation is some bubbles going across the screen. 

            In story 2 of episode 2, the Beatles are in India but even there they are chased by screaming girls. They hide in a room that has a book called “How To Escape from Your Body” by Swami Rivers. They decide escaping from their bodies would be a good way to escape from their female fans so they go to see him. He has them lie down and repeat a mantra and then their astral forms rise from their bodies. But then their physical bodies begin walking away and so they chase them while singing “Got to Get You Into My Life”, which was written by Paul. He says it’s an ode to cannabis. Their bodies all walk off a cliff and reconnect with their astral forms on the way down, then they wake up still lying on the floor. 

            In story 1 of episode 3, The Beatles are enjoying a sunny day but Ringo says it won’t be for long because he’s a jinx. The go to Carney Island amusement park and it begins to rain. The workers at Carney Island all complain that Ringo brings rain to the park every weekend. They all begin to chase him. But the Beatles play “Good Day Sunshine” and cause the sun to return. Now even Ringo gets a girl and he’s happy. 

            The first singalong is to “Strawberry Fields Forever”. The second singalong is to “And Your Bird Can Sing”. 

            In story 2 of episode 3, The Beatles members are visiting each other to see their hobbies. Paul is painting a modern work called “White on White” that just looks like a blank canvas. George’s hobby is electronics and he has built a robot. But when Ringo shakes hands with it the robot falls apart. Ringo’s hobby is collecting but when the others see he has a girl in a cage they tell him he can’t do that because of the Magna Carta and they let her go. Ringo chases her with a butterfly net while “She’s Got a Ticket to Ride” is playing. He even chases her into outer space. She lands on a distant planet where she is captured by an alien version of Ringo with antennae. Then an alien girl begins chasing Ringo all over the planet. John’s hobby is keeping a diary about the hobbies of the other Beatles. 

            The background artist for “And Your Bird Can Sing” and “Good Day Sunshine” was Alison de Vere, who studied art at the Royal Academy. She worked as a background artist for Halas and Batchelor Studio starting in 1951 at a time when there were very few female animators in the world. She was a design director for Yellow Submarine, in which she made a cameo appearance. She wrote and directed the animated shorts Mr. Pascal, The Black Dog, Café Bar, and Psyche and Eros. She worked as an animator for the TV series The Animals of Farthing Wood.

November 20, 1994: My daughter was eating and told me to go away

Thirty years ago today

            Sunday was the day of the Santa Clause parade. I met Nancy and my daughter in the early afternoon upstairs at Licks. My daughter’s friend Amanda was also there. When I arrived my daughter was eating and she told me to go away, so I left and went downstairs to buy some fries. Nancy sent Amanda after me because she thought I was leaving. We went downtown to Nathan Philips Square and watched the parade. I carried my daughter the whole time so she could see it but she seemed pretty bored. After the parade my daughter had a pee at Eaton centre and then they left. I checked my messages and there was one from Adina. I called her at home but she’d gone to the Café Verité. I called there but they said she was out shopping and so I went home and got through to her later. That evening Mistress Maria called just to confirm my appointment with her slave on Monday so we didn’t talk long.

Strawberry Fields Forever

            On Monday morning I uploaded “Allons z'enfants” by Boris Vian to my Christian’s Translations blog and began preparing it for publication. It’s a long song so it may take a few days. 

            I published “Delirious”, my translation of “Flagrant délire” by Serge Gainsbourg on my Christian’s Translations blog and also posted the lyrics on Facebook. There are only eight songs left in my Serge Gainsbourg project to translate all of his songs from 1958 until his death in 1991. 

            I memorized the first verse of his song “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone). I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. The action is still high and though that makes it more difficult to play it’s not enough yet to motivate me to ride all the way out to the Twelfth Fret at Danforth and Woodbine to have it adjusted. 

            I weighed 87.3 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I packed my laundry into my two bike trailer bags. The packing wouldn’t have been as much work this time if I hadn’t included my comforter. I hadn’t planned on washing it this time but since I’ve started seeing bedbugs again it seemed necessary. I put my stuff in the washer and headed home to wash the dishes. I went back to load my things into the dryer and while I was doing so a woman came in with a rolled up carpet and asked if she could wash it. The attendant said no and the woman got very angry, saying that she’d done it lots of times when there is no attendant at all three laundromats in the area. She referred to the people who run laundromats as “You fucking people”. While waiting for the drying to be done I went to No Frills where I bought a big box of Earl Grey tea, two boxes of baking soda, and two containers of skyr. A woman was holding up two cashier aisles because she wanted cash back in a $50 bill but her cashier didn’t have it and so she asked my cashier. But the $50 my cashier gave her wasn’t the kind she wanted. 

            I weighed 86.3 kilos at 15:00, which is the lightest I’ve been in the early afternoon since October 29. 

            I took a siesta at 15:30 and didn’t wake up until 17:45 when it was too late to take a bike ride. 

            I weighed 86.95 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:18. 

            I reviewed the videos of my song practice performances of “Vomit of the Star Eater” from October 5 to 7. On October 5 and 6 I played it on my Kramer electric guitar. On October 5 the take at 30:30 didn’t sound horrible. On October 6 the take at 9:30 was okay. On October 7 I played it on my Martin acoustic guitar and the take at 20:15 wasn’t bad.

            I managed to get in fifteen minutes of practice playing my song “Paranoiac Utopia” but I need to put in some at least one hour rehearsals with only 12 days until my book launch. 

            I had a potato with gravy and my last two chicken drumsticks while watching episodes 33 and 34 of The Beatles cartoon series. Episode 33 is the second season finale and episode 34 is the third season premier. There’s no difference in the intro between the two seasons but in the third they try more experimental backgrounds for the animation. 

            In story 1 of episode 33, the Beatles are hiking in the mountains when they come across a hermit’s cave. They just walk in without a by your leave as if other people’s privacy means nothing. The hermit wants to be alone and tries to get rid of them with his shotgun and with rolling boulders but everything he tries backfires on him while The Beatles sing “Nowhere Man”. In the end the Beatles fly away in a helicopter while the entire mountain that housed the hermit’s cave collapses. 

            The first singalong is to “And I Love Her”, which was written mostly by Paul. The second singalong is to “Michelle”, which was also written mostly by Paul. It won the Grammy Award for Song of the Year in 1967. McCartney asked Jan Vaughan, a French teacher to come up with a French name and a phrase that rhymed with it. Vaughan came up with "Michelle, ma belle", and a few days later McCartney asked for a translation of "these are words that go together well" and that’s the source of “sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble”. McCartney sang the song to Michelle Obama in 2009. 

            In story 2 of episode 33, a publisher wants each of the Beatles to write the story of how they met each other and he’ll turn the best one into a best selling paperback. Ringo fantasizes that he wrote, directed, and played all the parts in a musical version of Hamlet and John, Paul and George were three poor fans who came to get his autograph. They sold his autograph on the black market and bought guitars so they could start a band. Paul fantasizes that he had just been knighted for finding a malaria cure and was starting on yellow fever. He came up with a serum and needed to test it on some prisoners named John, George and Ringo who were serving life sentences. If they survived the injection they would be set free. The Beatles do a concert and sing “Paperback Writer”. While playing, George fantasizes about being a James Bond type hero with a beautiful girlfriend and a sports car. He beats the enemy spies and they turn out to be John, Paul and Ringo. John imagines himself as a WWI flying ace who boards a dirigible and captures three German officers who turn out to be Paul, George and Ringo. They take their stories to the publisher and he throws them out. 

            In story 1 of episode 34, The Beatles visit Scotland Yard and meet England’s greatest detective, James Blond. His code name is OO because he makes all the girls scream “Oh Oh!” A mob of screaming fans come running towards the Beatles and they think it’s for them but they trample them to get to James Blond. The Beatles are jealous. Then while passing an alley they overhear some crooks plan on robbing Penny Lane. They head for Liverpool to stop the theft. While waiting for the crime to occur they sing “Penny Lane” as the animation depicts all the characters described in the song. In the end there is no robbery at Penny Lane and it turns out that James Blond saved the beautiful heiress Penelope Lane from having her jewels stolen. 

            The first singalong is to “Good Day Sunshine”, which was written mostly by Paul. In 2005 Paul played it live to the crew of the International Space Station. The second singalong is to “Rain”, which was written by John. Ringo considers it his best recorded drum performance. The recording made the first use by the Beatles of vocals played backwards. The animation for this singalong used photographs as the background. 

            In story 2 of episode 34 The Beatles are riding in their coloured limousine through a poor neighbourhood portrayed in black and white. They stop in front of an orphanage and all of the children are also in black and white. They try to visit the children but they run and hide. The Beatles decide to change the children’s environment by singing “Strawberry Fields Forever”, which was written by John. John used to play in the garden of the Strawberry Field Salvation Army Children’s Home in Liverpool. John considered it his best Beatles song. The animation during the song borders on psychedelic. Near the end the Beatles begin flying and they cast shadows that turn the black and white world beneath them into colour, rendering the children happy. 

            “Strawberry Fields Forever” was highly influential on the development of the genre of psychedelic pop. The accompanying film also influenced what became the artform of music video. Pete Townsend was blown away by the song and Brian Wilson was frustrated because “Strawberry Fields Forever” did everything he’s planned on doing with “Smile”.

November 19, 1994: After our first rehearsal the new bass player said he wasn't interested

Thirty years ago today 

            On Saturday I had a rehearsal with Steve Lowe, Mike Martin and this new guy Derek at the space near Main Station. I rented a bass for three hours for Derek to play. I brought my daughter with me and I had ear plugs for both of us to muffle the drums. Derek was very good at keeping Mike’s drumming in line and I thought it went well. But at the end Derek said he wasn’t interested, gave me back my $5 for renting the bass, and left. Nancy picked up our daughter from me when we were done and then Steve, Mike and I went across the street for coffee.