I continued trying to memorize the final monologue in Zizi Jeanmaire’s performance of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. There’s a good chance I’ll be able to pull it all together on Monday.
I weighed 89.45 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since January 2.
I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the second of four sessions. It went out of tune quite a bit and it was frustrating during the first half. Later it wasn’t so bad.
Around midday I cleaned the warm mist humidifier that’s been running all week and set the other one going. The heating knob was all caked over and I thought it was permanently shot but then I was finally able to peel the crust off with my fingernail and it looked smoother than it has for a long time. The other one is humidifying a lot better and maybe the one I cleaned will as well now that it’s cleaner.
I applied Proofide to my Raleigh’s Brooks leather seat for the first time since I bought it six months ago. I also used Bally ideal spray on my motorcycle jacket.
I weighed 89.6 kilos at 16:55.
It’s been storming all day so I didn’t take a bike ride and probably won’t be able to tomorrow either.
I saw someone cross country skiing down Queen Street and he was making good time. Too fast for me to grab my camera to make a video.
I buffed my Brooks seat and my leather jacket.
I spent about an hour trying track down some poems. I’ve been going through a folder that has my Commentaries on the Gumby Bible, which are for the most part unfinished poems. Two poems were incomplete and so I looked through two big folders until I found writing that looks like it’s part of those poems. One is a study of the nature of the animal in me.
I was caught up in my journal at 18:44.
I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive tape 2, side 1, of my third 20,000 Poets Under the League slam, hosted by Mark Critoph. My digitized recording of the tape sounds great.
I edited my Photos folder, deleting 44 images and putting several in sub-folders. I’m up to Hedy Lamarr.
I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, wedge oven fries, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching the series finale of Car 54 Where Are You?
Two cops have retired from the 53rd Precinct and the rest of the men have to take up the slack. They need new recruits.
Toody and Muldoon are in a diner taking a break from the night shift when a lone cop comes in and sits at the far end of the counter. They ask the waiter who he is and she says she only knows he’s with the 12th Precinct. Toody and Muldoon find this curious since the guys from the 12th Precinct usually frequent the Tip Top Diner down the street. The lone cop wants coffee and a donut but Muldoon got the last donut. Toody gives Muldoon’s donut to the cop. They sit down with him and say they’ve been partners for ten years. He says he’s never had a partner for more than a week. His name is Luther Snitkin. He says if everyone is that friendly at the 53rd he’d love to be transferred there.
Toody and Muldoon tell Captain Block who calls the 12th. The captain at the 12th says he’s got four men in the hospital and six in arm casts and he can’t spare any. But then Block mentions it’s Snitkin and the captain can’t believe his luck. A cop in a cast says it must be a joke since everybody in the NYPD knows Snitkin is a Jonah who brings disaster wherever he goes.
The day that Snitkin arrives at the 53rd Precinct Captain Block is there to welcome him but he’s standing in front of one of the double doors with frosted glass windows and one of them breaks against Block when Snitkin opens it. It’s kind of dumb of Block to be standing in front of the door like that since he knows how they open.
Block hands Schnauser Snitkin’s file. He sees that Snitkin has only been with the NYPD 18 months but he’s been with 32 precincts. Then he remembers that Snitkin is a Jonah and declares they are doomed. All six of Snitkin’s 12th Precinct partners are now in the hospital.
Block has just brought Snitkin out of his office and he’s standing in front of it with him. Kissel comes to Block with papers for him to sign and Block says to take them into his office and he’ll be right in. Kissel goes in and for some reason closes the door. Block turns and walks through the glass. Snitkin nods knowingly but sadly.
Toody takes Snitkin to introduce him to the men. As Sgt McBride leans from his chair to shake hands, Kissel nudges the chair as he walks by and McBride falls. It seems like Kissel is more of a jinx. Toody introduces Snitkin to the switchboard operator and then the switchboard short circuits. That’s the first incident that is actually jinxlike. Block says Nicholson will be Snitkin’s new partner and then Nicholson falls down the stairs breaking two legs and an arm. Kissel opens the frosted glass windowed locker room door and Block is on the other side. After being told Snitkin is his new partner Webster slips in the shower. Rodrigues is Snitkin’s next partner and soon he’s in traction.
When headquarters get the 53rd’s accident reports they send a building inspector. If this was not a government building it would have been condemned. The department starts fixing the stairs, putting in new doors, and installing a new tile floor in the showers. The floor has now been removed in the washroom as they rebuild it. Schnauser is sitting in the locker room and is told to tell people not to go in or they’ll fall to the basement. Why wouldn’t they just put up a sign and some police barricade tape? Kissel’s locker is next to the door and he opens it just as Block comes in, hitting him in the nose. Schnauser keeps saying Snitkin is a jinx but Muldoon convinces him that the problem is the condition of the building. Then Schnauser walks into the washroom and falls to the basement.
Snitkins now tells Muldoon and Toody that he’s a Jonah and he’s never had any luck. Toody thinks if Snitkin could win something it would cure him of thinking he’s a jinx. He rigs a turkey raffle so that Snitkin’s number wins. Sgt Feldman hands Snitkin the turkey but Snitkin says he won more than the turkey and so he gives it to Feldman because he has eight children to feed. Then Feldman gets food poisoning.
Snitkin decides to resign. Block announces that Snitkin is going to drive the governor to dedicate the birdhouse in Bronx park because he’s the only officer who’s driven a VIP. It was during the election and he drove Nixon, who lost to Kennedy. Snitkin still wants out and says it’s hopeless because it’s voodoo.
Muldoon decides they will perform a voodoo ritual to extract the evil spirits that Snitkin believes he has in him. Toody and Muldoon hold hands with Snitkin until the ritual is over then tell him the evil is gone. Snitkin feels that it’s true. But then suddenly accidents start happening wherever Toody and Muldoon go and so they realize they have to perform another ritual. Then Block crashes through the door again.
Snitkin was played by Jack Gilford who was discovered and mentored by Milton Berle. He started as a comedian in the 1930s specializing in satire and pantomime. He was host at the Café Society in Greenwich Village. His film debut was in Midnight Melodies in which he did celebrity impressions. It was in his movie satire routines that he invented the expression “The butler did it!” In the 1950s he was blacklisted by the House Un-American Activities Committee until the 1960s. He was the face of the Cracker Jack commercials from 1960 to 1972. He was nominated for Tony Awards for his performances in A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum and Cabaret. The song “Meeskite” from Cabaret was written specifically for him to sing. He was nominated for an Oscar for his performance in Save the Tiger. He played Brooks Carmichael on the sitcom The Duck Factory. He co-starred in the film Cocoon.
Car 54 Where Are You? was a very funny sitcom with great writing. Repetition of gags was used to good effect without being overdone.
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