Janis Hansen

            On Thursday morning I memorized the seventh verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. There are ten verses left to learn but some of them are half made up of lines that I already know. 

            I weighed 89 kilos before breakfast.    

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the first of four sessions. It went out of tune a few times. 

            At 13:30 I left for the U of T School of Dentistry for my appointment with my periodontist Dr. Xia. I only had to pay $38 for this one but I was there for almost two hours. He gave me a gum examination and said there’s been a big improvement since I first came to him. He informed me that there is too much bone loss where my right front tooth was for me to go straight to getting an implant so what I would need first is a bone graft so there is some place to fix the screws for the implant. There is an 80% chance the graft will take and if it fails after a few months they might try another but if it fails right away it won’t be worth it to try again. If the implant fails there is still the possibility of getting a bridge but that’s not his department. He says I would have to do that through my dentist. It’s going to cost me altogether something between $4000 and $5000. I have an appointment for January 19. He told me that once the graft is in I’ll have to stop singing for a couple of weeks. Xia had a student assistant who’s from Richmond Hill. He said he’s from Richmond Hill as well and added that all Asians are from Richmond Hill. 

            I stopped at Freshco on the way home where the grapes were on sale so I got seven bags of green ones. I also bought a pack of raspberries, a pack of boneless chicken bites with barbecue sauce, a pack of Full City Dark coffee, and some hair conditioner. 

            I weighed 88.85 kilos at 18:00. It was too late for a siesta. 

            I was caught up in my journal just before supper. 

            I grilled ten chicken drumsticks and had two with a potato and gravy while watching season 2, episode 13 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            The Brotherhood Committee Neighbourhood Club and the Women’s Auxiliary are meeting to decide on their annual outing. They never agree and so every year their outing is ruined. They finally agree on a Broadway show but then the purchasing committee consisting of Muldoon, Toody, and Schnauser find they can’t get 142 tickets for any hit play but can for a show called “Little Miss Pioneer”. Muldoon wants to get the tickets right away but Toody wants to put it to a vote. The producer Mr. Morningside offers to let them see the rest of the matinee in the almost empty theatre and the play is not only squeaky clean but it’s also boring. They decide they will have to put it to a vote. As they leave, Morningside tells them, “I’ll never close this play! No one’s gonna make me”. But there just happens to be a reporter nearby who hears him say that to the cops and so he concludes that the police are threatening to shut it down. 

            At the next committee meeting Muldoon is tired of hesitancy and just wants to push Little Miss Pioneer through as their chosen event. But when the rumours of the play being smutty filter down the ladies of the committee now are against it except for Sylvia who hopes it is smutty. Muldoon talks with Morningside who offers to show the ladies the play to prove how clean it is but they won’t set foot in the theatre. Muldoon arranges to transport the actors to the precinct to perform for the committee and prove its moral integrity. But reporters see and photograph the actors getting into a paddy wagon and it goes on the front page. 

           The actors put on and explain the play. Lucille thinks it’s scandalous that Johnny Scout is really Little Miss Pioneer in disguise. She wants to know what the sleeping arrangements in the wagon are and she’s told that Johnny sleeps under the wagon while the young man and his mother sleep in the wagon. Lucille needs to be assured there’s no trap door in the wagon. When the public reads that the play has been raided they begin to flock to buy tickets. By the time the committee votes in favour of seeing the play there are no tickets left. 

            The actor who played Johnny Scout and Little Miss Pioneer was Janis Hansen, who started as a Playboy Bunny. She made her Broadway debut in The Riot Act in 1963. She played Felix’s ex-wife Gloria on twelve episodes of The Odd Couple. She formed the talent management company Hansen Management and served as an agent, manager, and acting coach.