Rae Allen

            On Wednesday morning I memorized the ninth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. There are eight verses left but with some repeated lines they work out to about six verses. 

            I memorized the first five lines of the final monologue in Zizi Jeanmaire’s performance of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I weighed 88.35 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the last of two sessions. It went out of tune a lot in the beginning but behaved itself for the most part in the second half. 

            Around midday I started adding the third and final colour (Blue Bliss, a shade of turquoise) to my bathroom beginning with the frame of the bathroom exhaust fan. It was very time consuming because I had to use a small brush and keep from crossing into the main wall colour which is kind of a pinkish purple. I only got about half of the frame done and it’ll need more than one coat. I’ll have time to do some more on Friday but it’s going to take a long time to finish the bathroom. 

            I weighed 89.55 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar, peanut butter, and a glass of iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I tried to take a bike ride but there was more snow and Seaforth was slippery, so I only went around the block. 

            I weighed 89.7 kilos at 17:10, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the evening since January 12. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:25. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then saved to my hard drive side 2 of the finale of my first 20,000 Poets Under the League slam. It was hosted by Cad Lowlife.

            I reviewed the song practice videos of my performances of “Why I Drink” on September 28, 2024 and October 12, 2024. I played it a little better on October 12 but I won’t be rendering it in Movie Maker. I’ll wait until my next recording project when I’ll have more takes to compare and a better version. 

            I reviewed the song practice videos of my performances of “The Butcher’s Tango” on September 28, 2024 and October 12, 2024. On September 28 the final take was okay. On October 12 the camera battery charge ran out before I could finish. 

            I reviewed the song practice video of my performance of “When I Will Have the Wind in My Hollow Skull” on September 28, 2024 and the take at 115:00 was not bad. 

            I reviewed the song practice video of my performance of “Do Me Bad Johnny” on September 28, 2024 and the camera battery charge ran out during the song. 

            That completes my reviews of my 2024 recording project. I’m hoping to record again this year from June 1 to July 15. I want to make sure that my Martin, my Kramer, and my Gibson are all sounding good this time. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara sauce, tomato pesto, a chopped grass-fed beef burger and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 2, episode 26 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Thelma Eisenberg wants the Wedding Bells Matrimonial Agency shut down and its owner arrested for scamming her father. The agency has matched him with Joan Crawford. He admits it’s not definite yet but he’s already buying clothes he needs to spend half the year in Beverly Hills. Then the precinct’s elderly cleaning lady gives her notice because she plans to leave for California soon to marry Charles Boyer. 

            Toody and Muldoon go to the agency only to discover that it’s run by Mrs. Bronson, who they and we’ve encountered on two previous occasions. Knowing that Muldoon isn’t married she immediately begins to name off movie stars as potential wives for him. Muldoon tells her Thelma Eisenberg has filed a complaint. Bronson says if it wasn’t for Thelma’s big mouth she could have gotten her Gregory Peck. She tells Muldoon if he’d only been there yesterday he could have had Kim Novak but Mr. Fidenbaum the Iceman grabbed her. Bronson reads them letters from Joan Crawford thanking her for her concern but telling her she’s not considering marriage and she’s returning the salami. Bronson says Joan is playing hard to get. Then she reads a letter from Crawford’s lawyer telling her to cease and desist. Bronson says never once does Joan say “No”. Then Bronson says she’s found a match for Muldoon in Anita Ekberg. Muldoon says it’s ridiculous but Bronson warns him not to lose Anita like he lost Kim to Mr. Fidenbaum. Muldoon argues that Kim Novak would be a better match for him since she has an apartment in New York and Bronson should give Anita to Fidenbaum. Then Captain Block walks in and Muldoon realizes that he temporarily lost his mind. Block sends them away and says he’ll handle it. He tells her he’s married and so her scam won’t work on him but Bronson says, “Poor Ava Gardner!” Ava wants a man who will take her on fishing trips. 

            Thelma comes back to the police station with her father saying she’s just caught him downtown buying an engagement ring. They find Block arguing with his wife about how she never goes fishing with him. Then Block realizes he temporarily lost his mind. 

            The Frauds and Rackets squad is called to shut down Mrs. Bronson. Agent Megginson confronts Bronson but when he uses the word “accoutrements” she thinks he speaks French and matches him with Brigitte Bardot. She takes Megginson’s picture from his government ID to send to BB. He goes back to tell his boss he'd better get someone else for the case because he might be leaving for Paris at any minute. 

            Agent Callahan is sent to Bronson who says her husband must be proud of her. Callahan says she has no intention to get married but Bronson says she should be ashamed to deny a man such an enchanting woman. Callahan goes back to headquarters to announce that she’s marrying Eddy Fisher because he needs her. Her boss Inspector Brown goes to shut down Bronson. 

            They finally get Bronson in court where on the witness stand she explains that she’s just trying to make the movie stars happy by matching them with people from the Bronx who are the happiest people in the world. Muldoon is put on the stand and is asked how many of Bronson’s clients have ever got married. He answers that they all have. For example, Mr. Eisenberg who was going to marry Joan Crawford and Mrs. Harrigan who was going to wed Charles Boyer are now married to each other. Then the judge marries Megginson and Callahan. Then Bronson matches the judge to Anita Ekberg. 

            Thelma was played by Rae Allen, who played Buttercup in HMS Pinafore for the Sullivan Company in Greenwich Village at the age of 15. She graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in 1947. She made her theatrical debut on Broadway in 1948 in Where’s Charley? She was nominated for a Tony for her performance in the original production of Damn Yankees. She reprised her role in the film adaption. She also received a Tony nomination for Traveller Without Luggage. In 1971 she won the Tony for her starring role in And Miss Reardon Drinks a Little. She played Quentina Blundetto on The Sopranos. She also directed several plays.