Neil Hamilton

            On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for all but the final two lines of “A Cannes cet été” (To Cannes This Summer) by Boris Vian. 

            I worked out the chords for the first four verses of “Amour jamais” (“No More Romance”) by Serge Gainsbourg and established the first two for the chorus. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the second of two sessions. It continues to go out of tune pretty much as soon as I start playing after tuning it. The action is very low. It seems that it stays in tune better when the action is too high than when too low. It’s too late to take it back the Twelfth Fret before Christmas but I think I’ll take it back on December 31 to see if the action can be raised again. 

            I weighed 85.55 kilos before breakfast. 

            I washed the bathroom wall tiles above the sink and toilet and also cleaned the top of the back of the toilet. I would have gotten more cleaned but I decided to fix a shelving problem. On the top of the back of the toilet I keep a rack that holds three containers in which I keep three kinds of brushes. The rack is meant to be attached to the wall but I don’t want to mount it until after I’ve painted. Meanwhile it sits on top of the back of the toilet but as it is made of wire it doesn’t sit well on that curved surface. I needed to find something to set it on so it doesn’t slip off. I tried various pieces of wood but they just made it teeter and sometimes fall. So I spent some time today finding the right item and discovered that a boomerang works quite well, plus it is decorative. 

            I weighed 86.3 kilos before lunch. I had a toasted Montreal style bagel with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea.

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I wore an extra sweater so I had my undershirt, a sweatshirt, the sweater, a button shirt and my hoody on. It was very cold. It used to take me an hour to go downtown and back but now, at least in the winter, it takes an hour and a half. 

            I weighed 85.45 kilos at 18:23. 

            I didn’t have time to work on any projects this evening because I spent the time making screen shots of Julie Newmar’s Catwoman from her first appearance in the middle of the first season of Batman. 

            I made pizza on two halves of a Montreal style bagel with two slices of salami to cover each hole, Italian sausage pasta sauce, and five-year-old cheddar. I had them with a beer while watching season 1, episodes 21 and 22 of Batman. 

            In episode 21, The Penguin is just leaving a show with Mrs. Van Climber when a masked robber with a machine gun fires at the chandelier and then demands that wealthy socialite Sophia Starr hand over her ruby pendant. Penguin steps forward to stop the thief but he opens fire. The Penguin however opens his bulletproof umbrella as a shield, then grabs the thief and knocks him out. Penguin returns the pendant to Starr. Commissioner Gordon is in shock when he learns that Penguin prevented a crime. He figures only Batman can cut through the confusion so he calls him. Meanwhile Gordon and Chief O’Hara are grilling the thief under a hot light and trying to force him to admit he’s in cahoots with The Penguin. The crook tells them, “You guys must read too many comic books”. The chief angrily raises a fist to hit him but Gordon stops him. Then the batman appears flapping his cape in silhouette and the robber faints. Batman calls him a “miserable weakling”. They learn that Penguin has just entered The Millionaire’s Club and they rush over there. In the steam room two men are trying to kidnap a rich man named Reggie but Penguin stops them. Batman and Robin arrive thinking they have just stopped Penguin from committing a crime but Reggie Rich explains that Penguin saved him. Reggie gives Penguin a cheque for $10,000 but Penguin tears it up in his face. Penguin gives Batman his card that reads “Penguin Protective Agency”. He says he is taking over the guarding of Sophia Starr’s jewels. Batman decides to pre-emptively protect Starr’s jewels from the Penguin by substituting them with radioactive fake ones that can be tracked with a transmitter. He has Alfred pose as an agent from Floyd’s Insurance who comes to Sophia’s home to photograph her jewels. That way Batman will be able to copy them. While there Alfred switches Penguin’s cigarette holder with one that hides a transmitter. But the handle on Penguin’s umbrella lights up when it detects bugging devices and so Alfred is caught. But Alfred grabs the carpet and pulls it out from under Penguin, causing him to fall as Alfred makes his getaway. Batman makes the copies of Sophia’s jewellery. Batman says that protection of private property is the keystone of all law and order. That would mean that those who have no property are not protected by the law. Batman and Robin sneak into Sophia’s apartment and Batman cracks her safe to replace her jewels. But Penguin and his men catch the dynamic duo committing a crime. There is a fight accompanied by the usual written sound effects. Batman and Robin win but Sophia steps into the room and the heroes run away. Penguin tells her to call the police while he calls the newspapers. Gordon learns that Penguin is throwing a party at the Gotham Amusement Park and he calls to tell Batman that he shouldn’t come because he’ll have to arrest him. But Batman and Robin go there anyway and while spying on Penguin they are knocked out by his men. They are bound and gagged and suspended by their writs behind a shooting gallery. Penguin has replaced the pellets the guns shoot with real bullets and he persuades Gordon and O’Hara to try to hit the targets. They are about to fire and that is the cliffhanger. 

            In episode 22, just before Gordon and O’Hara shoot the guns, Batman and Robin prop their feet against the backs of the targets and raise their bodies above the line of fire. Batman then cuts the ropes with his Batknife and they escape. Penguin goes to Commissioner Gordon’s office and accuses him of harbouring wanted criminals by protecting Batman and Robin and threatens to have him removed from office. Penguin grabs the Batphone to prove his point and Batman answers. Gordon tells Batman that he’d better come into custody. Batman says he’ll be at Penguin’s office in 25 minutes. Gordon tells O’Hara to stake out the area and arrest Batman. Batman and Robin arrive at Penguin’s agency and pretend that Penguin has driven them mad. They are even twitching uncontrollably. There is another fight. At the sound of sirens the dynamic duo escape. The police cut them off and they run from the Batmobile. The cops are shooting at them on a crowded street. They run down a blind alley and the police gun them down. Penguin confiscates the Batmobile and begins calling it the Birdmobile. Later O’Hara shows Gordon the bill for the ammunition they used and comments that blanks cost more than real bullets. Meanwhile Batman and Robin are alive and well and watching the Penguin’s actions through TV transmitter they’d concealed in the Batmobile. Penguin proposes to Sophia and she enthusiastically accepts. The expensive wedding gifts start rolling in from all of Sophia’s rich friends and relatives, including a diamond studded electric can opener. At Penguin and Sophia’s wedding shower Penguin sabotages the sprinklers in her apartment to cause a real shower and he hands out umbrellas to all the guests. Penguin presses a button on his umbrella that causes the gift table to flip the gifts through a secret hole in the wall and then it comes back empty. Penguin and his men pretend to go after the criminals and leave the party. In the garage all the gifts are loaded into the trunk of the Batmobile and they make their escape. They are on their way to their secret hideout but Batman and Robin are following them with the Batcycle. Batman pushes the remote control ejector button and Penguin’s thugs Eagle Eye and Dove are catapulted out of the Batmobile. Batman then takes over the steering of the Batmobile by remote control. Penguin and his men are caught and tied to the hood of the Batmobile. Later Sophia Starr says she still wants to marry Penguin because she is sure her love can change him. When Penguin hears of this he demands to be taken to prison. 

            Commissioner Gordon was played by Neil Hamilton, who started as an Arrow shirt model for magazine ads and received more fan mail than Rudolph Valentino. He also worked as a model for Norman Rockwell. He became interested in acting and graduated from the Pasadena Playhouse. He worked for several stock companies. He made his film debut in The beloved Impostor in 1918 but his first credited movie role was in D.W. Griffith’s The White Rose in 1923. In the late 1920s he signed with paramount and became a popular leading man. He co-starred in America, By Your Leave, The Great Gatsby, The Dawn Patrol, Tarzan the Ape Man, King of the Texas Rangers, When Strangers Marry, He starred in Three Weekends, Isn’t Life Wonderful, In early television he became the host of Hollywood Screen Test. He co-starred in the short lived sitcom That Wonderful Guy.

December 23, 1994: Nancy swung by to pick up our daughter

Thirty years ago today

            On Friday I have no record of what happened but I can make a few logical assumptions. Nancy was always out Christmas shopping at this time of year and so I probably wouldn’t have had to take my daughter back to Scarborough. I would have either had to rendezvous with her at the Eaton Centre or she would have swung by and picked her up on the way home.

Catwoman

            On Saturday I finished working out the chords for the third verse of “A Cannes cet été” (To Cannes This Summer) by Boris Vian. There’s only one more verse, which I think has the same chords as the first verse. 

            I worked out the chords for the first verse and a half of “Amour jamais” (“No More Romance”) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions and the tuning was even worse than before Gian at Li’l Demon tightened the tuners. He suggested that I change the strings and I guess I can do that but the action is also too low again. 

            I weighed 84.95 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since October 29. 

            Around midday I rode to No Frills where all the grapes were too soft but they had cherries. Even though they were expensive I got five bags. I also got three packs of raspberries, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, a strawberry-rhubarb pie, a pack of Swiss rolls, a pack of frozen uncooked raspberry filled butter croissants, lemon detergent, pro-health toothpaste, a half kilo of butter, a jar of Italian sausage pasta sauce, chili sauce, a jug of orange juice, a jug of low sugar iced tea, two containers of skyr, Bistro style wedge fries, a bag of regular Miss Vickie’s chips and another of the jalapeno kind. 

            I had Cheez-it crackers and five-year-old cheddar with a glass of low sugar iced tea for lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. It was minus 11 and my new winter gloves are pretty good for half the journey but the cold starts eating through on the return trip. I think I need to look for something warmer. 

            I weighed 85.05 kilos at 18:30. 

            I wasn’t able to catch up on my journal until after dinner. 

            I made pizza on two halves of a Montreal style bagel with a slice of salami over each hole, Italian sausage pasta sauce and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 1, episodes 19 and 20 of Batman. 

            In episode 19, at night in the Gotham Art Museum a guard hears a cat and pulls his gun. A whip takes it away and a cat is thrown at him. Encased in shatterproof glass is a golden cat. Claws on a woman’s glove cut a hole in the top and then grab the cat. Commissioner Gordon receives a box containing a kitten with a newspaper clipping in its collar. It shows a picture of Mark Andrews with his two golden cats, but one of them has been crossed out. Gordon concludes that Catwoman is behind it and he calls Batman. At Gordon’s office Batman meets Mark Andrews who says his other golden cat is on display at the Gotham Exposition until tonight. Catwoman’s hideout is at the Gato and Chat Fur Company. Catwoman lashes the hand of one of her henchmen who is handling the golden cat. Catwoman is reading a book on the history of Gotham City and specifically a chapter called The Lost Treasure of Captain Manx. The text however seems to be taken from an entirely different book: “For the first time in years I realized that acting is my life, my only love. Somewhere on the way downhill I had forgotten that.” She paused with a dramatic touch, then added: “I hope GW never proposes. I’m one to remind her that acting, not alcohol, was her…”. If I paste these lines into a Google search I get The Landlady by Roald Dahl but these lines are not from that story, so I don’t know. Meanwhile in the Batcave, Batman prepares a radioactive solution to spray onto the other golden cat so that if Catwoman manages to steal it they will be able to track her. At the Exposition the spraying is done. Batman leaves Robin alone with the cat while he checks the exits, but while he is gone a cat is thrown at Robin that renders him unconscious and Catwoman grabs the other golden cat. Batman returns and she has her men attack while she gets away. The fight that Batman participates in smashes a lot of valuable artifacts. Batman gives Robin his universal antidote. Batman’s equipment tracks the radioactive coating on the cat but Catwoman knows that and has a welcome ready for them. She lays out the two golden cats back to back but with their heads in opposite directions, and then she puts tracing paper on top of them and begins to mark it. Meanwhile Batman and Robin enter her hideout. As soon as they step in, the exit behind them is sealed. A trap door sends them below into her catacombs. Two spiked walls begin moving towards them. Batman tries to hold them back but discovers the spikes are made of rubber. Catwoman speaks to them and says the time has come to separate Damon from Pythias (Greek mythological examples of the ideal of friendship). A pneumatic tube descends upon Robin and he is sucked upward and out of the room. Two doors are revealed to Batman. Catwoman says she is behind one and the other holds a hungry tiger. Batman chooses the door on the right and the tiger lunges. That’s the cliffhanger. 

            In episode 20, the tiger attacks Batman as he keeps avoiding it. Catwoman says “TTFN” (Ta ta for now) but Batman doesn’t know what it means. Abbreviations like that one became popular in the UK during WWII. The phrase was introduced in 1940 in the BBC radio play “It’s That Man Again”. The character Mrs. Mopp ends a scene with it. Batman puts on his bat claws for climbing the wall. Then he dons Bat earplugs and from his utility belt emits a high pitched sound that subdues the tiger so Batman can slip out of the chamber. But in doing so he becomes lost in a maze. Meanwhile Catwoman shoots some dust from the handle of her whip into Robin’s face and he is knocked out. He is strapped to one end of a board that is suspended over a pit containing two hungry tigers. She bastes Robin with catnip. At the other end of the board is a bag of sand that is the same weight as Robin. But Catwoman punctures it and Robin begins to slowly tilt downwards toward the tigers. Robin wakes up and tells Catwoman she is not a nice person. Catwoman leaves. Batman arrives at a barred window looking down on Robin’s plight. He cuts the bars then swings down at the last minute to rescue his sidekick. Batman and Robin fight Catwoman’s men but Leo escapes. The golden cats are left behind and Batman takes them to the Batcave. He discovers that despite them being identical there is different marking on each one. He remembers the legend that the cats once belonged to Captain Manx. He finds that put together the two cats form a map to Captain Manx’s treasure. Meanwhile out in the country Leo rendezvous with Catwoman. Robin surmises that they could track Catwoman with the same equipment they used to track the cats, since she handled them and the radioactivity would have rubbed off on her. In a cave Catwoman finds the treasure. Batman and Robin drive to her location but she has planted landmines along the way. They make it through. Catwoman knocks out Leo and takes the sack of treasure for herself. Batman and Robin enter the cave and Catwoman runs with the treasure. They chase her. She comes to the edge of a bottomless chasm. She tries to jump across with the treasure and catches the edge of the other side with her claws. She would be saved if she would only let go of the treasure but she refuses and so slips and plummets. 

            Catwoman first appeared as The Cat in Batman #1 in 1940. In the original comics she was not a killer but on the TV series she is always trying to get rid of Batman. She was a burglar and a jewel thief who at first disguised herself as an old woman until Batman discovered she was a beautiful young woman. In that first story she had no cat costume. In Batman #3 she wears a catlike fur mask. Her first full costume was a dress with a hood that had cat ears. Ten years later she is presented as a normal woman who turns to crime after suffering a head injury. Years later another version of the character confesses she only faked amnesia when she was really always Catwoman.

December 22, 1994: My daughter and I decorated the tree

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday my daughter and I decorated the Christmas tree.

Malachi Throne

            On Friday morning I finished memorizing “Amour jamais” (“No More Romance”) by Serge Gainsbourg. I searched for the chords but no one has posted them and so tomorrow I’ll start working them out. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice. It’s the one guitar I play that has no tuning problems. 

            I weighed 85.7 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I finished washing the sanding dust from all of the walls and the ceiling in the bathroom. On Sunday I’ll wash the tiles. 

            I weighed 85.85 kilos before lunch.

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back and it was lightly snowing all the way. There was no slipping or sliding but there probably would have been if the snow had been slightly heavier. I really don’t want to wipe out this winter. I had an injury last year and the year before. Now that I’ve finished school I don’t have to go anyplace and so I’m not going to take as many risks. 

            I weighed 85 kilos at 18:22.

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:08. 

            I completed frame 8 of my second rainbow wave animation and started on frame 9. 

            In the Movie Maker project for the acoustic version of my song “Vomit of the Star Eater” I finally isolated the good take. I added a fade to black effect at the end and I’ll decide tomorrow if I want any more effects. I might just keep this one clean and publish it as it is.

            I had a potato with gravy and a slice of roast pork while watching season 1, episodes 17 and 18 of Batman. 

            In episode 17, False Face has made a public promise to steal Princess Mergenberg’s crown, which is on display at the Exhibit Hall. The princess comes there to confront the police about the note that False Face sent. They reassure her it’s safe but then we see False Face is there. He takes off part of his mask and it explodes as he runs off with the crown. The princess runs after him and drops her cloak in the doorway. The police run after him but her cloak expands into a barrier blocking the door and we see she is not really the princess but False Face’s accomplice, Blaze. False Face is driving a police van but pulls a lever and it transforms into a bakery truck and he escapes. Commissioner Gordon calls Batman. At police headquarters an elderly messenger delivers a note to Batman. The note says, “I intend to give money to a defenseless little girl”. But False face always says the opposite of what he means. Batman and Robin conclude he plans to steal money from the Ladd Armoured Car Company. But Batman also deduces that the messenger is really Blaze. She jumps out the window, lands on an inflated cushion and escapes with False Face. Batman goes to the president of Ladd who says one of his armoured cars with bank money is late. Batman finds the car loading the money but says he knows the driver is False Face because only a criminal would disguise himself as a licensed bonded guard and then park in front of a fire hydrant. But the bag of money is a smoke bomb and the armoured car is really False Face’s van in disguise. False Face and his men block the Batmobile in an alley and the first big fight happens. False Face escapes with Blaze. Then False face disguises himself as Chief O’Hara, knocks him out with knockout dust and abducts him. Batman analyzes the paper of the note and it is the same kind on which money is printed. False Face has penetrated the official bank note printing company and will probably return there to get more. Batman and Robin stake it out. Blaze arrives with some of False face’s henchmen to take more paper. Batman and Robin confront them. Blaze tries to blow knockout dust at Batman but he blows it back at her and she is rendered unconscious. She is interrogated by Batman at police headquarters with the false Chief O’Hara present. Batman expresses the belief that False Face and any criminal can be rehabilitated. Blaze takes Batman and Robin to an abandoned subway station that she says False Face is using. She asks Batman to get her a bar from the candy machine. It emits knockout dust. She knocks out Robin. False Face ties Batman and Robin to the subway tracks. Blaze draws the line at killing and begins to turn against False Face at this point. She tries to stop him but he drags her away as the express train approaches. That’s the cliffhanger. 

            In episode 18, Batman and Robin are still tied to the subway tracks as the train draws nearer. Just then, their faithful butler Alfred radios them because he’s concerned about their whereabouts. Batman tells Alfred to short circuit the transmitter. He does so and somehow that causes the radio to burn through Batman’s bonds on the tracks. He frees himself and Robin in time just before the train comes through. Meanwhile things have changed between False Face and Blaze as she has expressed sympathy for Batman she is being restrained and is no longer False Face’s trusted aid. The real chief O’Hara is found after he’d been put in a sack and thrown on a garbage scow. Batman learns that False Face plans to break into the bank and replace the good money with counterfeit. That night False Face and his men break into the bank vault but it turns out Batman and Robin are inside. False face’s men are captured but he escapes. False Face is driving his van and he has Blaze handcuffed in the passenger seat. The Batmobile is in pursuit. A net drops in front of the Batmobile and somehow all of False Face’s men are there and still free even though we saw the cops capture them. Batman shoots a laser and causes the net to fall on False Face’s gang. False face blows up the Batmobile but it’s really only an inflated decoy and the real one is still intact. False Face escapes alone on a motorcycle. But Blaze knows where to find False Face and she guides them on foot through this abandoned movie set. Batman uses a Bat Rope across False face’s path to make him lose control of his cycle. Fale Face disguises as a cowboy but Batman and Robin see through it and there is a fight. Then false Face disguises himself as Commissioner Gordon but that ruse is penetrated as well because Batman knows Gordon is right handed yet he is holding a handkerchief in his left. False Face is captured. Months later Blaze is rehabilitated and is going to go to New Zealand to help her brother on his sheep farm. There is a weird philosophy on this show that women are more easily rehabilitated than men because they are inherently good. When women go bad it when they’ve been corrupted by men. That’s fucked up. 

            False face was played by Malachi Throne, who began performing at an early age. While studying at Brooklyn College he worked as a wandering player for various summer and winter stock companies. His enunciation made him a natural for television and he worked in that medium while studying acting with Uta Hagen. He moved to Hollywood and in the late 50s established himself as a major character actor on television. His film debut was in The Young Lovers in 1964. His TV debut was as the voice of The Keeper on the Star Trek pilot episode. He turned down the role of Dr. McCoy on Star Trek because an old saying among actors is “Never be the third man through the door”. In addition to playing False Face he was also the Thief of Outer Space (modeled after The Thief of Bagdad) on Lost in Space. He co-starred as Noah Bain in the series It Takes a Thief. In TV commercials he was a spokesman for Ziebart throughout the 70s.

December 21, 1994: I performed at the Fat Albert's Christmas party

Thirty years ago today 

            On Wednesday I either picked up my daughter or Nancy dropped her off. I took her to the Fat Albert’s Christmas party. She sat on the stage while Tom Smarda and I performed his song “Don’t Forget Resurrection”: 

Oppress the poor because the doctor called police 

He didn’t want the homeless people sleeping by his church 

So he told the groundskeeper to tell them to leave

then made his pet confessions and had dinner with the priest 

Don’t forget about it 

Don’t forget about it 

Don’t forget resurrection 

From out here in the rain and the driving snow 

we can hear the hymns being sung by those 

who recover from heart attacks and when they come home

they set up their floodlights so the homeless don’t come near 

and if that doesn’t work they will call the police 

and while we’re in jail they will pray for world peace 

Don’t forget about it 

Don’t forget about it 

Don’t forget resurrection 

            My daughter stayed the night at my place.

Linda Harrison

            On Thursday morning I memorized the chorus of “Amour jamais” (“No More Romance”) by Serge Gainsbourg. There’s just one verse left and so I should have the whole song nailed down on Friday. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice. It went out of tune fairly often but not to as frustrating a degree as the Martin was going out over the last four sessions. 

            I weighed 85.7 kilos before breakfast. 

            I had planned on getting back to washing my bathroom walls but decided I’d better try to resolve a shipping problem. On December 11 I bought a humidifier for my daughter from Best Buy. On December 13 tracking said it was at a sort facility in Montreal near where Astrid lives. On December 15 it was at another sort facility near her but since then there have been no updates. Four days seems like a long time to wait and so I had a chat with customer service but I don’t think the person is even in Canada. They asked me to confirm Montreal’s province. After a while they said the facility said it’s being delivered and they said they asked them to “fasten up” the delivery. I guess they meant “speed up”. Meanwhile the package of treats I sent by mail to Astrid two days ago arrived early. 

            Then Astrid gave me an order number from the LCBO and said they had a gift for me there. I went over there and it was three six-packs of Creemore plus a can of Mocha Crunch Chocolate Stout. That should be interesting. The Creemore will probably last until the end of January. 

            I weighed 85.75 kilos before lunch. 

            I took a siesta and ended up sleeping almost half an hour longer than usual. It was too late to take a bike ride all the way downtown so I just rode to Bloor and Ossington. I stopped at Freshco on the way home where I bought five bags of green grapes, a pack of raspberries, bananas, a pack of five year old cheddar, an eye of round roast, three chicken legs, three bags of skim milk, two packs of Full City Dark coffee, a jar of salsa, vanilla bean ice cream, white chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream, and a bag of chocolates filled with sea salt caramel. 

            I weighed 84.75 kilos at 19:00, which is the least I’ve weighed in the evening since October 28.

            I was caught up on my journal at 20:15. 

            I completed frame 7 for my second rainbow wave animation and started on frame 8. 

            I roasted a pork tenderloin and had a slice with a potato and gravy while watching season 1, episodes 15 and 16 of Batman. 

            In episode 15 the food and beverage dispensers at Roosevelt High School, where Dick Grayson is a student, begin to issue lots of silver dollars in exchange for single dimes. Commissioner Gordon concludes it’s obviously the Joker who is behind this. I don’t see why it would be obvious since there is nothing joke related to this payoff. The worry is that easy money will corrupt the students and cause them to drop out. Then they will have no choice but to become criminals. I don’t see how that’s necessarily true either. Batman is called and he comes alone because Robin is already in school as Dick Grayson. Batman learns that Joker got out of prison a week ago and immediately bought control of the One Armed Bandit Novelty Company, which specializes in coin operated gadgets. Batman talks to the principal of the school and asks him to have the president of the student council call a meeting. Batman already knows that Dick Grayson is the council president. Meanwhile in a bar a customer puts a coin in the jukebox and instead of a record playing, the machine opens to reveal a robot machine gun with the voice of the Joker telling the clientele that it's a stickup. While everyone has their hands in the air two masked thugs enter and rob the register. Batman shows slides of the Joker to the student council members and draws attention to the flower in his lapel, which he warns sometimes emits gas. One student who is looking at it closely suddenly gets gas in his face because the Joker is standing behind the screen. The Joker leaves freely with nothing illegal that can be pinned on him. Batman reminds the students that nothing in life is free. In an abandoned garage the Joker is counting stolen cash with his gang The Bad Pennies who are mostly high school dropouts except for sweet Sue who is still in school and head of the cheerleader squad. She has stolen from the principal’s safe the examination papers but she won’t give them to Joker until she is paid. Her prizes are a rhinestone bracelet, a fox fur stole, and a quart of Mexican perfume. Batman and Robin decide to stake out the school. That night Sue is rigging one of the school vending machines when Batman and Robin arrive. Sue calls the Joker for advice and he gives her instructions. When the heroes meet Sue she tells them she saw a suspicious character in the gym. In the gym they see a vending machine that’s been tampered with. Batman slips in a dime and suddenly it shoots out clamps that bind their legs, followed by a gas that knocks them out. The Joker has them strapped to electric chairs in the back of a converted moving van. A slot machine is running and if there are three lemons the dynamic duo will be fried with 50,000 volts. The machine spins and one lemon appears, then another, and the last slot is still spinning to bring us to the cliffhanger. 

            In episode 16 the machine turns up three lemons so Batman and Robin will be electrocuted but suddenly there is a blackout. The Joker and his gang escape. Two cops investigate the truck and find Batman and Robin. They are saved before the power comes back on. But before Batman and Robin were captured they activated a recording device with microphones in Batman’s utility belt. It recorded the voices of the Joker and his gang even though the voices were filtered. But every voice has a wave pattern private as a fingerprint. When they analyze the patterns with the Bat Computer they discover that Susie is a member of Joker’s gang. Batman says that Joker must have led Susie astray with baubles. But Susie didn’t even flinch when she knew Batman and Robin were about to be killed so the temptation of shiny things would not have been Susie’s motivation to be a criminal. Susie hangs out at the Easy Living Candy Store and so Batman sends Robin under cover as Dick Grayson in a motorcycle jacket and pretending to have turned bad. Sue is sitting with Nick, another member of Joker’s gang. Dick is not being very convincing as a delinquent. He tries to smoke a cigarette offered by Nick and chokes. He says, “I already had two packs today”. He learns from Nick that another cocktail lounge is going to be knocked over so he and Batman head there. Meanwhile the Joker decides that Sue is a liability because Dick clearly knew she was a member of Joker’s gang, and so he plots to get rid of her. He gives her a half pint of a Canadian perfume called “Un nuit sans fin” (A Night Without End) but the perfume is poisoned. Batman and Robin go to the lounge and Robin puts a coin in the jukebox. A gun appears as before and this time not to rob but to kill the Batman. The Batman however is prepared with his unfolding bulletproof Batshield. There is a high school basketball game tonight between Roosevelt High and Disko Tech. The odds are 20 to 1 in favour of Roosevelt but the Joker bets against them because he plans to sabotage the team. Batman and Robin approach Susie to warn her but she dabs some of the poison perfume and collapses. The Roosevelt team is practicing and stop to get milk from the machine but they get next week’s nationwide pre-college exam papers. The Joker and his gang take pictures of the team in this compromising position and say they can’t play the game now. But suddenly Batman and Robin arrive, saying the photographs are meaningless because the papers are fake ones the heroes planted. They’ve saved Susie and she has revealed the whole scheme. The final fight occurs between the heroes and the bad guys with the big written sound effects. The Joker and his gang are beaten. Susie is going to be sent to the Wayne Foundation for Delinquent Girls. 

            One of the cheerleaders was played by Linda Harrison, who won the Miss Berlin, Maryland contest at 16. She was later signed to 20th Century Fox and trained in Fox’s special school for actors. Her film debut was in The Fat Spy. Her TV debut was in the pilot episode of The Felony Squad. She co-starred as the wild girl Nova in Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes. She was a regular on Bracken’s World. She began dating Richard D. Zanuck, the head of 20th Century Fox when she started working there and then was married to him for ten years.