February 8, 1996: At night when the streetcars were empty I carried some of my furniture to the new place

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday night after the streetcars got emptier I started making trips from my old place in the Beaches to the new place in Little Portugal, carrying my biggest pieces of furniture each time.

Shecky Greene

            On Friday I memorized the twelfth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. There are five verses left but some have repeated lines I already know and so it’s more like three more verses to learn. 

            I translated the first monologue from “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. There’s a good chance I’ll have the whole song finished tomorrow. 

            I weighed 89.75 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice and it went out of tune about three-fifths of the time. That’s better than yesterday anyway. 

            Around midday I touched up the pink sections of my bathroom exhaust fan. I fixed the border around the front of the casing and though it’s not perfectly straight, neither am I. I fixed the grid area or thought I did but later when I looked I saw that there are still some blue smudges to cover. 

            I weighed 90.55 kilos before lunch, which is the most I’ve weighed in the early afternoon in a long time. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride to Brock and Bloor and went a few meters east on the bike lane but I was slipping and sliding because it’s still not solid and so I turned around and rode home. I have to go downtown on Monday for my periodontal bone graft so hopefully it’ll be clearer by then. 

            I weighed 89.95 kilos at 17:30. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:12. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of the second tape of my 2nd Slamnation poetry slam, hosted by Cad Lowlife. Unfortunately the two tapes did not capture the entire slam because so many poets hogged the stage and took up a lot of time. This was the night that had the disastrous end because my co-judge Simon Orpana who agreed to be a judge for the event decided at the end that he couldn’t pass judgement and so he held up what was his half of the prize money that was supposed to reward a poet for their talent and he just simply asked who wants it. Evangeline Marsh quickly said she would take it and so the only actual winner of the slam that night was the poet I selected. It was such an asshole move on the part of Simon. I know he’s a Marxist but no Marxist society would just offer awards on a first come first serve basis, which would be the opposite of Socialism and more like survival of the fittest. Agreeing to be a judge and then not judging is like saying you will cook a meal and then when everyone comes to eat declaring you can’t cook. If you can’t judge, don’t take on the role asshole! I forget who won that slam and it’s not on tape. Maybe someone who was there remembers. I would usually pick a previous winner to be my co-judge and so it may be revealed when I listen to the third year tape. 

            I deleted a large number of photos from my main hard drive because I already had copies in my SSD. 

            I had a potato with gravy and my last slice of roast pork while watching season 1, episode 12 of Combat. 

            Braddock is a mildly slimy character in that he takes advantage of others in some small ways such as trading dead batteries for another soldier’s rations. He is acting as a runner for Lieutenant Hanley. The batteries are dead on the radio and so Hanley sends Braddock back to Company to let them know they are stuck. 

            Braddock makes it through and the captain is surprised to see him having done the dirty job as a runner because Braddock has a reputation to find an easy way to do everything he has to do. While he’s there Braddock hears that Colonel Clyde requires a driver. Braddock, perhaps to avoid making his way back to Hanley volunteers to be Clyde’s driver. 

            The gruff Clyde insists on driving the jeep and drives at top speed as he used to be a race car driver. Braddock has to hold on for dear life. Braddock starts sneezing and says he caught a chill and so Clyde lends him his coat. 

            Clyde is speeding down the road when he has to swerve to avoid a cow. The jeep flips and lands upside down in the river while Braddock is thrown to lie unconscious in the middle of the road. 

            He wakes up surrounded by German soldiers who salute him because they think he is a colonel as he is wearing Colonel Clyde’s coat and the helmet he accidentally puts on when he gets up is also Clyde’s. He at first tries to convince them that he’s a private and not a colonel but they think he’s joking. They essentially treat him like royalty with good food and cognac, so he stops denying that he’s a colonel. 

            They are transporting him to a command post when he sees they have three US prisoners. He demands that they be fed and also lets them have some cognac. They were going to make the men walk to the command post but Braddock insists they ride in the car with him. 

            Back at US lines it is reported that the Germans have captured a colonel and Clyde’s men think it’s him, since he’s missing. 

            At the German command post the officers have detailed information on Clyde and figure out that Braddock is not him. But they want him to continue posing as Clyde because they want to exchange him for Colonel Hoffman, who has been captured by nearby Allied forces. They send one of the prisoners back to Allied lines to deliver the message about the proposed exchange. The Germans will trade Clyde and the two prisoners for Hoffman and his aide. 

            Suddenly Clyde walks in, all dirty from the accident but very much alive. When he hears about the exchange he starts laughing because he figures out that Braddock is the prisoner they think is him. Clyde gets the uniforms of Hoffman and his aide and dresses two German privates in their clothes to make the exchange. Braddock and the two US soldiers are exchanged and shortly after realizing the ruse the Germans begin firing. 

            Braddock asks Clyde if he’s going to get court martialed for impersonating an officer. Clyde says it depends on how well he did it. He demands that he show him his impersonation. He does and gets the captain to salute him. 

            Braddock was played by Shecky Greene, who liked to sing Strauss and started a drama club in high school. At first he planned on becoming a gym teacher but after performing stand-up in Chicago he began steering towards a career in comedy. He was in a comedy team with Dick Sterling. He served in the US Navy during WWII. He was a headliner at the Tropicana Hotel from 1957 to 1962. His salary at one point was $150,000 a week. In 1962 he became part of the cast of Combat. He co-starred in The Love Machine. Between 1968 and 1979 he appeared 68 times on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, sometimes as a guest host. After that they had a falling out and he was no longer invited. He owned several nightclubs. He says Frank Sinatra once saved his life when some hoods were beating him up. Frank saved him by saying, “That’s enough”. He was inducted into the National Comedy Hall of Fame in 2020.

February 7, 1996: I moved my mattress to my new place on the streetcar

Thirty years ago today

            On Wednesday evening I probably performed on the Fat Albert’s and Art Bar reading series open stages. After that I might have gone back to my place in the Beaches and taken my mattress, carried it to the streetcar and transported it to my new apartment in the west end. Then I would have spent my first night in my new home.

Lisa Montell

            On Thursday morning I revised my translation of the rest of the verses of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. Next I’ll translate the monologues, which shouldn’t be as difficult since they don’t need to rhyme. 

            I weighed 89.05 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since January 23. 

            During song practice I played my Martin acoustic and it went out of tune constantly. It’s very frustrating to have no guitars that behave themselves lately. 

            At around 12:15 I headed downtown for the first time since before the storm. They had finally ploughed the Bloor bike lane but not enough. I was slipping and sliding all the way to Dufferin until I gave up and just rode on Bloor Street. From Bathurst on, the bike lane was clear enough for riding. I went to Yonge and Isabella, locked my bike and waited for Brian Haddon. He arrived on time and we had lunch at the Artful Dodger. We shared a pitcher of Creemore and each had the lunch special: the smoked turkey and bacon wrap with fries. Brian recently uploaded to YouTube his suite for wind quintet called “At the Sign of” and he appreciated all the comments I made on it: 

            I’ll be going for oral surgery on Monday and then starting my annual fast a week later so we won’t be getting together again until sometime in April. 

            I stopped at Steve’s Music to buy a rechargeable guitar tuner. The one I use now takes CR2032 batteries. For a long time I used that kind of battery for my bike flashers, my digital scale and my tuner. But now my flashers are rechargeable and I use rechargeable AAA batteries for my scale and so it seems like a waste of money to buy CR2032s just for the tuner. I bought a Snark for about $35 so hopefully it’s a good one. 

            I stopped at Freshco on the way home where I bought five bags of red grapes, a pack of raspberries, some bananas, a squeezer of honey, marinara sauce, Irish Spring soap, a pack of Sponge Towels and a pack of toilet paper. I did a price match on the grapes with the Real Canadian Super Store's price of $4.39 a kilo. 

            I took a siesta from 17:15 to 18:45. 

            I weighed 89.55 kilos at 19:20. That’s the easiest I’ve been on the scale since January 27. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a slice of roast pork with skyr while watching season 1, episode 11 of Combat. 

            This is a flashback story that really should have been the first episode of the series. The men have been waiting in London for D-Day. There is a betting pool with a large pot that has accumulated from all the men who wagered on the day they move out. Braddock ends up winning the $800 prize, which would be almost $15,000 today. Lieutenant Hanley is only a sergeant like Saunders but he still outranks him though Saunders has more combat experience than Hanley. Saunders has apparently been knocked back to private more than once since he joined the army. 

            Braddock’s bag of rations gets caught in the landing vehicle and he has to leave it behind. Later his bag carrying the $800 is blown up by a mortar shell. 

            Their mission is to locate some captured paratroopers at a farmhouse but they decide to rescue them. The farmhouse is protected by a tank. Under fire, Caje panics and runs. While cowering some distance away he meets some members of the French resistance who say he’s a hero and give him some wine. He regains his confidence and returns to K company with the French resistance fighters that include the beautiful Marcelle. They have also given him grenade launchers. Marcelle gives them some Molotov cocktails. Saunders climbs on the tank and throws one. The Germans surrender. Caje, Hanley and Saunders kiss Marcelle goodbye and they march on into France. 

            Marcelle was played by Lisa Montell, who was born in Poland but moved to the US at the age of 6. She studied voice, art , and dance and was accepted into the High School of Music and Art in New York. She transferred to the High School of Performing Arts. Her father was in the iron mining business and because of that they moved to Peru. It was there in 1953 that Lisa was first noticed by Hollywood producers who were there to shoot Daughter of the Sun God. The movie wasn’t released until 1962. Lisa appeared in some local films but when her father died she and her mother moved to LA. Her TV debut was in Public Defender in 1954. Her Hollywood film debut was Jump Into Hell in 1955. She co-starred in She Gods of Shark Reef. Her last film was The Firebrand in 1962. After that she focused on education and her Bahai religion. She gave talks on the faith and later took graduate studies at university. She taught university courses in holistic education.

February 6, 1996: I paid the rent for my new place with the rent for my old place

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday afternoon, before going to the Gladstone Hotel to host my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage, I took the rent money from my place on Wineva that the super hadn’t come for, and went to the house on Sheridan Avenue to pay for the first month on my new apartment. I felt good about this move.

Gunnar Hellström

            On Wednesday morning I revised my translation of the chorus and the first verse of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I weighed 89.3 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the last of two sessions and it went out of tune pretty much every time. Kramers when properly set up stay in tune for a long time but now it’s due for a reno. 

            In the early afternoon I took my laundry to the Speedy Queen. There was one bike post free but it was half buried in snow and so locked my bike with the front wheel up. When I came back to pick up my clothes the post was occupied and so, since there was no management there today, I just took my bike and trailer inside the laundromat. When I got to my building I went to lock my bike outside while I took the trailer upstairs and realized that I’d forgotten my lock and chain back at the Speedy Queen. I probably should have gone back with the trailer but I stuck the trailer at the bottom of the stairs with just enough room for my neighbours to squeeze by and rushed back to the laundromat. It was there, I grabbed it and hurried back to lock my bike and take my trailer up. 

            I weighed 88.85 kilos at 16:20, which is the lightest I’ve been in the early afternoon since January 10. I had four slices of baguette with peanut butter, five-year-old cheddar, and a glass of ice tea.

            I took a siesta at 17:00, intending to get up at 18:30 but I slept until 19:00. 

            I weighed 89.75 kilos at 19:10. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 20:23. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with tomato pesto, oven french fries, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore while watching season 1, episode 10, of Combat. 

            An elderly Frenchman is being escorted to deliver vital information about German plans but trips a landmine and is severely injured. Private Wayne Temple also suffers life threatening wounds.

            They are both transported to a nearby convent of cloistered nuns. The sisters behave as if they are not there because they have taken a vow of silence, but the Mother Superior is allowed to speak and Caje converses with her. She says they are welcome as long as they don’t bring their war inside. Kirby is creeped out by the nuns meditating over skulls to remind them of death. 

            Doc the medic says there isn’t much he can do for the injured men and so a doctor, Captain Corelli is summoned. Lieutenant Hanley and his men escort the doctor across enemy lines but he is not used to keeping pace with the soldiers and dies of a heart attack. Hanley brings the doctor’s equipment to the convent. 

            Through Caje they ask the Mother Superior if there is a doctor nearby. She says there was a doctor in the village two years ago but she doesn’t know if he is still there. The village is occupied by German soldiers and tanks but Saunders has no choice but to try. He takes Caje with him and they learn there is a hospital at the end of town. 

            They find Doctor Belzer alone but when he takes his white coat off they see that he is a German officer. As he is their only hope they abduct him. He examines the Frenchman and says he needs surgery but he is not a surgeon. They force him to operate and Saunders warns that he will kill him if he dies. Belzer asks if he thinks someone can perform surgery better under threat. 

            Belzer examines Temple and says he needs a transfusion. He’s type O and so is one of the men and so Belzer gives him blood. He says it will help him for a while but it’s not likely that he’ll live. 

            He returns to the Frenchman. The Mother Superior tells them that one of the sisters is a trained nurse and so she silently assists Belzer. At one point the blood pressure drops severely but Belzer is able to bring it back up and ultimately saves the Frenchman. 

            It’s possible that Belzer would have helped them anyway if he believed in “Do no harm” but apparently Nazi physicians did not take the Hippocratic oath. 

            Belzer was played by Gunnar Hellström, who made his film acting debut in the Swedish movie While the City Sleeps. He co-starred in Marianne, and Nightmare. He directed and starred in Simon the Sinner, Night Child, and Synnöve Solbakken. He directed 33 episodes of Gunsmoke. He starred in Rififi in Stockholm. He wrote, directed and starred in Zorn and Raskenstam (co-starring Agnetha Fältskog of Abba).

February 5, 1996: I found a new apartment

Thirty years ago today 

            Around this time, perhaps on Monday I posed for a class at the Ontario College of Art that had a model at each side of the studio. The other model was Helga Schlatter who was very outgoing and socially fearless in a manner that rendered her both extremely charming and (I would find out later) somewhat Machiavellian. I mentioned that I was looking for a new apartment and she told me that she and her partner had one available in the house they rented. She invited me to come and look at it after work. As we waited for the Dundas streetcar she told me she was four months pregnant. I commented that there was a glow about her and she strangely responded, “I am in an open relationship”. Their house was on Sheridan Avenue just south of Dundas and I met Helga’s partner Peter Bird, who seemed nice. The apartment was two big rooms with a bathroom in the front of the main floor and we would be sharing the kitchen. The price was lower than the place I’d been living and so I said I’d take it.