On Tuesday night as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage in the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel, at 1214 Queen Street West.
My event always had a gritty, electric energy and offered a vital, supportive, and un-censored platform for writers.
On Monday morning I finished working out the chords for “L'anguille (The Eel)” by Boris Vian. On Tuesday I’ll run through singing and playing it in French and English before uploading it to my Christian’s Translations blog.
The song “L’anguille” is one of the songs Vian wrote for a comedy musical called “La bande à Bonnot (The Bonnot Gang)”, with music by Jimmy Walter. Vian took a week to write twenty songs for the play. The Bonnot Gang was led by Jules Bonnot and active between 1911 and 1912. They robbed, burgled and murdered with somewhat of an Anarchist ideology as an act of rebellion against what they considered to be an oppressive society. They were the first crooks to use a getaway car, which overwhelmed the police, who didn’t even have many cars at that time. Most of the gang was captured or killed and Bonnot was holed up in a residence surrounded by 500 cops. He wounded three officers and held them back in the shootout until the police dynamited the front of the building. He was shot ten times before he was captured and later died in the hospital. Bonnot’s operations inspired many Anarchists to try to imitate him. The police cracked down so hard that anyone who said anything positive about Bonnot could end up in jail.
I worked out the chords for the chorus and the instrumental lead-in to the second verse of “Les anthropophages” (The Cannibals) by Serge Gainsbourg. That probably completes the pattern and the rest of the chords should be the same.
I weighed 90.9 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since March 2.
I played my Martin during song practice for the first of two sessions and it went out of tune for every song.
I weighed 91.8 kilos before lunch. That’s the same as the early afternoon of February 20.
I took my stereo extension cable to Long and McQuade. The same guy who tested my cable adaptor last week tested the cable and said that the sound goes in and out when the jack is wiggled so I bought a new one. I rode downtown and on the way back stopped at Freshco where I bought seven bags of green grapes for $4.39 a kilo.
When I got home I tried out the new cable but the same problem of only getting one channel persisted. I tried switching the RCA jacks with the black on the left and for a little while I got both tracks. But when I switched it back to the red on the left I lost the extra track and even when I put the black back onto the left I only got one channel. The black RCA jack doesn’t work at all. Whether the red is in the right or the left plug I get the left channel. On my audio interface if I switch the red and the black I get only the right channel.
I weighed 91.1 kilos at 19:20.
I worked on getting caught up in my journal.
I had two small potatoes with the last of my gravy and a slice of roast pork while watching season 9, episode 2 of The Carol Burnett Show. Tim Conway is now a regular member of the cast.
In the first sketch Sammy Davis Jr. plays Johnny, a similar character to himself. He is famous and now returns to do a show for the first time in his home town where he grew up and experienced a lot of racism. The reporters come in along with a richly dressed woman (played by Carol) who shyly enters behind them. Johnny says he’s going to be starring in a western film. He says he met Queen Elizabeth last year but didn’t give her the soul hand slap. The well dressed woman begins to laugh and Johnny looks over to recognize Eleonor Simpson. He tells the reporters that they practically grew up together as his mother was the Simpson family’s maid. He says he bought his mother a big house in Beverly Hills with a lot of servants but she still insists on doing all the cleaning. She says their silverware has not been as shiny since she left. She tells Johnny that he was no slouch at shining her daddy’s boots. She says, “Daddy always said that he thought you had some kind of magic spit”. She adds that whenever her daddy sees Johnny on TV he wishes he was back there to shine his boots. He invites her to supper but she says she can’t tonight. She compliments the show he did tonight and says his diction was perfect. She understood every single word he said and he tossed off those polysyllables like you were born to them. He says, “I guess Mama did manage to throw in a few long words along with the ‘honey childs’”. She says she’s been doing some singing too and gives a sample. He recognizes that it’s Gilbert and Sullivan. She says, “How clever of you! Don’t tell me you’ve done Gilbert and Sullivan too!” He says he hasn’t and she says, “Thank goodness for that! I do think some things outta be sacred!” He hands her a spoon for her coffee and she wipes it on her dress before using it. She says, “Some people might say you’re a little out of place doing a western. You don’t see John Wayne doing Porgy and Bess”. She says, “I do believe a performer must stretch. Many of you people now are playing upper class roles. Can’t even turn on the TV without seeing a whole bunch of you doing commercials and using products and everything”. She says she’s married now and her husband’s sitting at the bar. Johnny suggests they go meet him but Eleonor says he’s in a bad mood because of the expense of the evening. She says he said, “What kind of gyp joint is this? A $10 cover charge just to sit and watch a…” He says it’s too bad she can’t come for supper because the mayor and his wife would be joining them. Eleonor says that might have taken the curse off it for her husband. She tells Johnny she shouldn’t get the wrong idea about her husband because he is very liberal. He has a restaurant and hires all black waiters, but of course the cashier is white. She repeats that she wishes she could get his mama back to clean the house. She says it’s hard to find decent help since all the coloureds got hired by the phone company. You call them up to ask for information and you can’t understand a word they’re saying. He says goodbye to her and calls her “honey” but she finds that too familiar. He mockingly says he’s sorry for being uppity but she says it’s alright because they’re such wonderful friends.
Carol says they’ve been trying to get Sammy Davis Jr. on for the last eight years but the schedules didn’t mesh but now she introduces him. He does a medley of his most popular songs: “Yes I Can” by Charles Strouse and Lee Adams from the 1964 musical Golden Boy; “Too Close for Comfort” by Jerry Bock, George David Weiss, and Larry Holofcener from the 1956 musical Mr. Wonderful; the 1954 song “Something’s Gotta Give” by Johnny Mercer; “Hey There” by Jerry Ross and Richard Adler from the 1954 musical The Pajama Game; “The Birth of the Blues” by Duddy DeSylva and Lew Brown from the 1926 revue George White’s Scandals; “The Candy Man” by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley from the 1971 musical Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; and “What Kind of Fool Am I?” by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley from the 1962 musical Stop the World I Want to Get Off.
Vicki says that not long ago many of the commercial airlines introduced a new low cost fare that was nicknamed “The No Frills Plan”. The next skit is a parody of that plan.
Harvey and Tim board a plane and Tim is in the No Frills section, which begins just behind Harvey’s seat right where the carpet stops. Tim says he saved $40 by choosing the No Frills plan and he thinks the only difference is that one has to bring their own lunch. He adds that it’s a lot safer in the back the plane because planes never back into mountains. Carol plays the flight attendant and she comes back to ask Tim if she can take his coat. She then rolls it up and uses it as a pillow for Harvey. She then tells Tim to get his foot off the rug of the frills section and kicks his foot. Carol gives all the regular passengers the emergency instructions by whispering them in their ears so Tim can’t hear them. Tim doesn’t have a seatbelt so Carol ties him to his seat with a rope. There’s no glass in the window of his seat. Harvey lights a cigarette but when Tim does it Carol puts it out with a fire extinguisher. The captain announces that they will be going through some turbulence but only Tim’s seat experiences it. Carol asks Harvey if he’s getting off in Chicago and he’s not but Tim says he is. Carol tells him to come with her. he asks what time they’ll be landing? She says, “Landing?” Then she opens the door and pushes him out.
In a wild west saloon the sheriff (played by Harvey) is getting drunk at a table by himself. Vicki the saloon girl asks the bartender what’s the matter with the marshal. He says that his Deputy Pecos left him for another marshal (This is another skit in which the professional relationships of men are treated like romantic relationships). Vicki tries to console him. He says he should have known there was another marshal. He says if he was a good marshal he wouldn’t have run off with another lawman. She says there’ll be somebody else but he cries, “I don’t want somebody else. I want my Pecos back!” Sammy comes in dressed in black and walking like John Wayne. He fires his gun in the air then spins it in a fancy way similar to when I saw him guest star on The Rifleman. The sheriff recognizes his old deputy Ringo who he left for Pecos. Ringo admits he came back to gloat but didn’t realize he was in so much pain. Ringo talks about how he waited for the sheriff’s posse on the road to Abilene but he never came. The marshal says he was supposed to go all the way to Abilene. Ringo says, “It was my first posse and you expected me to go all the way?” The sheriff asks if they can start again and hands him a badge. Ringo refuses it and asks, “You didn’t expect me to wait forever did ya?” “What are you sayin?” “Don’t you understand? There’s somebody else! I’ve been deputized!” “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky lawman?” “Wyatt Earp.” “Earp? (he looks like he’s burping when he says it).” Someone comes in to tell the marshal that the Dalton boys are on their way to kill him. The sheriff prepares to face them alone. Vickie asks Ringo to help but he refuses at first. Finally he gives in and says he’s going with him but, “If you tell Wyatt about this I’ll scratch your eyes out!”
They end the show with a mini-musical celebrating the songs of Harold Harlen. Sammy plays a bartender in a tropical bar. He sings “Two Ladies in the Shade of the Banana Tree” with lyrics by Truman Capote from the 1954 musical House of Flowers. Then he sings “Get Happy” with lyrics by Ted Koehler from the 1930 musical The Nine Fifteen Revue. Carol and Vicki sing to Tim each different parts of “Gotta Have Me Go With You” with lyrics by Ira Gershwin from the 1954 film A Star is Born. Carol sings to Tim “Come rain or Come Shine” with lyrics by Johnny Mercer from the 1946 musical St. Louis Woman. Sammy sings “Hooray for Love” with lyrics by Mercer from the 1935 film of the same name. Vicki tells Tim to “Follow the Yellow Brick Road” with lyrics by Yip Harburg from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. Carol and Sammy sing “The Man That Got Away” also from A Star is Born. They sing “Down With Love” by Yip Harburg from the 1937 musical Hooray for What. Carol sings “I’m Through with Moanin” from the same musical. Sammy sings the 1941 song “When the Sun Comes Out” with lyrics by Ted Koehler. Then Harvey comes in and sings “I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues” with lyrics by Koehler from the 1932 show Earl Carroll’s Follies. Then Harvey sings the 1933 song “Stormy Weather” with lyrics by Koehler while Carol sings “Over the Rainbow” from The Wizard of Oz. Harvey sings “Let’s Fall in Love” by Koehler form the 1933 film of the same name. Sammy sings “Hooray for Love” again. Then he sings the 1944 song “Accentuate the Positive” with lyrics by Johnny Mercer while Carol and Harvey sing “Get Happy”.
On Monday modelling work was winding down because it was near the end of the school season. They were already into the summer classes at the Ontario College of Art, which provided very few posing gigs. There was still a week and a half left for secondary schools with advanced art programs so I might have still had a few gigs.
On Sunday it was Father’s Day and I took my daughter to a fancy all you can eat brunch at some hotel, but I don’t remember which one. I just remember that it was very good.
On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for all but the last few lines of “L'anguille (The Eel)” by Boris Vian. I should have it finished tomorrow.
I worked out the chords for the first three lines of the chorus of “Les anthropophages” (The Cannibals) by Serge Gainsbourg.
I weighed 90.4 kilos before breakfast.
I played my Kramer during song practice and it stayed in tune about half the time but at the end I had to unlock the E string to put it in tune.
Around midday I painted the first coat of the “Crazy in Love” shade of pink on the bottom of my bathroom lazy Susan. I’ll finish the bottom on Tuesday and paint the top on Wednesday.
I weighed 91.4 kilos before lunch, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the early afternoon since March 2. I had saltines with peanut butter, five-year-old cheddar and a glass of lemonade.
In the afternoon I took a bike ride. It was raining a bit at first and I thought I might only go as far as Ossington but the rain let up and so I continued downtown. On the way home it began raining again for a while but stopped before I was soaked.
I weighed 91.2 kilos at 18:15.
I was behind in my journal because of my continued recording problems from the night before and so I worked on getting caught up.
I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, two sliced bratwurst, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching the 8th season finale of The Carol Burnett Show.
In the Mama’s Family sketch Eunice and Mama visit Ed in his hardware store. They’re going to a movie later and want Ed to take them out to lunch but he says he can’t because Mickey Hart’s not there to mind the store. He’s gone to the warehouse to pick up some inch and a quarter flathead screws. Mama says she needs a new rubber stopper for her bathtub drain. Ed asks what size and she says the same size as the other one. He asks what size was that but she says, “How the hell should I know? I didn’t measure my rubber stopper!” Mama observes there are hundreds of items in the store that no one would ever use in a hundred years like purple light bulbs but some slick con artist found a sucker and sold them to Ed. Eunice begs again for Ed to take them for lunch but he says he’s waiting for an important phone call on some copper tubing rejects. Mama tells him he can miss that call since he’ll never sell the rejects he’s already got. He argues that he sells everything he buys. If he can’t sell the purple light bulbs they can put them on the Christmas tree. Mama asks if he’s gonna put the butterfly nets on the Christmas tree too. An attractive woman comes in to buy some tape to fix her mattress. Ed tells her a joking rhyme: “I dreamed of shredded wheat / I ate and ate till dawn / But when I woke it wasn’t no joke / Half my mattress was gone”. Ed tells Mama that’ll be 35 cents for the stopper but she’s offended that he would charge her. He says if she doesn’t like it she can go to Acme Hardware which she says is a better store anyway. Eunice starts arguing with Ed about lunch again while Mama slips the stopper into her purse. Mickey Hart has been mentioned since the first Mama sketch but now he walks in played by Tim Conway. He says hello to Eunice and shouts hello to Mama because he thinks she’s hard of hearing. He shouts that he likes her blue hair and it’s obviously an ab ad lib because Carol, Harvey and Vickey have to suppress laughter. Mickey tells Ed they didn’t have inch and a quarter flathead screws at the warehouse. They only had inch and a quarter roundhead screws and inch and sixteenth flathead so he came back to ask if he should buy them both. Ed says for him to go back and get them but Eunice protests that while Mickey is there he can run the store while they go for lunch. Ed says he needs the screws now. Mama asks if he’s expecting a stampede for flathead screws over lunchtime. Eunice leaves with Mama and sarcastically thanks him for lunch, adding that’s exactly what he’s getting for dinner. After they’re gone someone comes in and asks Ed to lunch. He says it’s the best idea he’s heard all day.
Carol introduces Vicki Lawrence and she comes out looking very pregnant. Her Mama costume hid it well in the previous sketch. She also announces that Vicki is now Mrs. Al Schultz but doesn’t mention that Al is the makeup artist for the show. Carol asks what she’s going to name the baby. Vicki says if it’s a girl they’re partial to Aphrodite and if it’s a boy either Ulysses or Marmaduke. Carol asks, if it’s a girl, how about Eunice? Vicki puts on her Mama voice and says, “I sure as hell ain’t gonna name another kid Eunice after the way the first one turned out!” Carol tells her to brush up on her lullabies. They then go through a long medley of just about every song that a parent might sing to calm or entertain their infant from “Brahms’ Lullaby” to “Frere Jacque”, to “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, to “Bingo”, to “London Bridge”, to “It’s a Small World After All”, to “We’re Off to See the Wizard”, to “Mockingbird”, to “Where Are You Going My Little One”, to “Turn Around”, and ending with a return to “Brahms Lullaby”.
Carol sings the 1931 song “When Your Lover Has Gone” by Einar Aaron Swan, in the shower and when she leaves there’s a band in the shower still playing. They did a similar skit a few seasons before.
Tim Conway playing his old man character is behind the counter at a clock repair shop. Harvey brings in an antique grandfather clock to be repaired. Tim takes forever to make out a claim check for him when he says he has to get back to work. Tim tries to lift the part of the counter that rises so one can pass through but has trouble and ends up being lifted by it when it flips. He twists himself around on top of the counter to push it back down but gets his fingers jammed when it closes. Harvey lifts it then Tim frees his fingers. Then he ducks under it to get to the clock. He goes inside the clock and pokes his head out through the top, making Harvey laugh when he says, “I can see the marina from here!” Tim says he’s fixed the clock so Harvey sets it and it starts chiming while Tim is still inside. Time smashed his arms through the sides of the clock to reach around and stop it. Because Tim broke his clock, Harvey goes behind the counter and starts smashing all the clocks from the shelf. A tall and muscular young man walks in. Harvey asks Tim what he thinks of him smashing the clocks but Tim says, “I don’t know. Ask my son here. He owns the place”. His son tells Harvey to put all the clocks back together now.
The Ernie Flatt Dancers sing and dance to a song about war, depression, taxes, and low pay.
As usual the season finale ends with Carol’s Charwoman character. The cast leave and kiss her goodbye. She holds up certain of Carol’s costumes and sees flashbacks of scenes the characters were in. She sees Nora Desmond stumbling down a stairs looking insane; she sees Eunice frantically praying when she thinks Mama has hurt herself; and sees Molly’s interaction with Burt from the earlier skit. Then the Charwoman meets a puppet of herself and they sing a duet of the 1967 song “The Two of Us” by Jackie Trent and Tony Hatch. Then the puppet disappears and the Charwoman sits on her bucket to sing as usual for the finale, the extended version of the show’s theme song by Carol’s husband Joe Hamilton. Then she leaves the theatre and as usual kisses the head of the bald man sleeping in the seventh row.
I’ve started listening to the Sandy Denny discography starting with the album she did with Strawbs. She had an incredible voice and was an amazing songwriter. I’d never heard her until now although I’ve known and loved her song “Who Knows Where The Time Goes?” since I was a teenager and listened to it over and over again from a Judy Collins Greatest Hits album.
She attended The Kingston College of Art in 1965 and became involved with the campus folk club. She first performed for the BBC in 1966 at Cecil Sharpe House where she performed two traditional songs: “Fear a' Bhàta” and “Green Grow the Laurels”. Her first professional recordings in 1967 were released as the albums Alex Campbell and His Friends and Sandy and Johnny. The same year she was playing at the Troubadour when she was invited to join the band Strawbs. She did one album with them called All Our Own Work, which included what would become her most famous and widely covered song, “Who Knows Where the Time Goes?”. Judy Collins heard the demo and named an album after it. Judy’s version was featured in the movie The Subject Was Roses in 1968 giving Sandy international exposure as a songwriter before anyone had heard her voice. She auditioned to become the new singer for Fairport Convention and stood out high above the others. She made three albums with Fairport Convention: What We Did On Our Holidays, Unhalfbricking, and Liege and Lief. She left Fairport Convention to form her own band Fotheringay. She began to play mostly piano from this time on. After one album with Fotheringay she went solo and her first album in 1971 was The North Star Grassman and the Ravens. She was Robert Plant’s favourite singer and she became the only guest vocalist to ever sing on a Led Zeppelin album when she dueted with Plant on The Battle of Evermore in 1971. Her second album in 1972 was called Sandy. Her third album was Like An Old fashioned Waltz. She rejoined Fairport Convention for a world tour that was captured on the album Fairport Live Convention and recorded another studio album with them called Rising for the Moon. Her last solo album Rendezvous was released in 1977. She used to deliberately throw herself down flights of stairs as a party trick and knew how to do it without serious injury. She had developed what seemed to be bipolar disorder and was also drinking and doing a lot of drugs. She fell and hit her head on concrete and afterwards began to get severe headaches for which she was prescribed dextropropoxyphene, which can be deadly when taken with alcohol. She fell downstairs again and went into a coma from which she never recovered and died a week later.
On Saturday I took my daughter to the Parkdale Art Festival where Brian Haddon and I performed as part of the poetry event at The Rhino. We each got an originally designed artsy Parkdale Art Beat T-shirt for participating.
On Saturday morning I worked out the chords for the fifth and sixth verses of “L'anguille (The Eel)” by Boris Vian.
I worked out the chords for the first verse and the beginning of the chorus of “Les anthropophages” (The Cannibals) by Serge Gainsbourg.
I weighed 90.55 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since March 4.
I played my Kramer during song practice and it stayed in tune the whole time. But it often seems that when I am running ahead of schedule something happens to take away that surplus of time. In this case I had to pause for a time consuming bowel movement in the middle of my rehearsal.
Around midday I rode my bike with its trailer down to No Frills where I found only five bags of grapes that weren’t too soft. I also bought a pack of Moroccan blueberries, some bananas, beef rib finger meat, a tub of olive oil margarine, a bottle of olive oil, a pack of Irish Spring soap, a jug of lemonade, a jug of orange juice, a container of skyr, and a bag of Miss Vickie’s potato chips.
I weighed 90.95 kilos at 14:20. I had saltines with peanut butter, five-year-old cheddar, and a glass of limeade.
After a siesta it was too late for a bike ride downtown and so I just rode to Ossington and Bloor.
I weighed 91.05 kilos at 17:50.
I was caught up in my journal at 19:11.
I tried for the first time since I got the new cable adapter to record from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity. I found that the left channel is louder whether I have the black jack in the left or the right slot of my audio interface. They were balanced up until recently so I don’t know if I should conclude that the problem is in the interface. I was getting noise from the right channel in the tape recording but not from the radio or from another tape but the volume problem is consistent from any sound source. I guess I should switch the RCA cables in the back of the stereo to see if the volume imbalance starts to favour the right channel.
I grilled five bratwurst sausages, then I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, two sliced bratwurst, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 8, episode 23 of The Carol Burnett Show.
Carol opens up the show singing “Alice Blue Gown” by Joseph McCarthy and Harry Tierney from the 1919 musical Irene. She’s wearing a midriff revealing outfit similar to something Cher might wear but the midriff is fake and larger than her own.
During the audience warmup Carol tells a little at-home viewer named Becky Morton she loves her.
Two teenagers in the audience are the children of Carol’s childhood best friend. Carol and her friend used to fake being sick so they could stay home and play jacks.
Someone asks why Carol’s husband Joe always wears red socks, but Carol says he doesn’t. That’s just his high blood pressure.
Someone asks if there’ll be a repeat of Drink, Drank, Drunk, which was PBS special documentary hosted by Carol to raise awareness about alcohol abuse. Apparently Carol’s parents were alcoholics. She says she hopes they repeat it.
Someone asks Carol who is the nicest person she’s ever worked with. She says Harvey Korman but then we see it was Harvey who asked the question.
Someone asks if she ever thought of having her mouth insured and she cracks up. She says there’s not enough money.
Someone asks if she’s always so happy. She says she runs hot and cold. But then she hears something back stage and asks what they said in the booth? She explains there’s a bullet proof glass booth where the directors and producers sit. While she’s talking to the audience they make remarks about what she should have said. She can’t hear it but the cameramen and stage managers have ear pieces so they can hear what’s said. So when she hears them chuckle she knows something has been said in the booth. The cameraman says that when she said she runs hot and cold her husband agreed. She asks, “How would he know?”
We see a balcony with a divider between two apartments. Phil Silsers comes out on the left one feeling miserable. Carol plays his extremely positive, perky and doting wife who comes out to faun over him, which just makes him feel worse. On the right balcony Harvey comes out feeling positive while his wife (played by Jean Stapleton) is annoyed by his good mood. Carol hands Phil a menu but he says it’s the same menu as always. Harvey asks Jean for some breakfast but she says she’s not running a restaurant. Carol stands to the right side of her balcony and declares what a great day it is. Harvey is impressed. She says the sun makes her balcony look like a Rembrandt painting sometimes. He says it doesn’t do that for his and so she suggests they switch apartments and she’ll pay the difference. He asks if she’s come in and clean once a week and she’s excited that he would allow her to do that. She starts picking the lint from his jacket and he’s in ecstasy. They embrace and he says he’s always wanted a slave. She loves the title and begs him to repeat it. Harvey goes to pack so they can run away together. Phil meets Jean and complains about Carol. Jean says she doesn’t care and he loves her indifference. He says he needs someone like her and she tells him to go away. He’s in heaven. She’s surprised he wants to take all her guff and he says he can’t get enough of that wonderful guff. They agree to be miserable together and she goes to pack. Carol says she’s going to go down to the pear and fish for sea bass. Harvey tell her to also dig some clams. Both switched couples begin singing “Cheek to Cheek” by Irving Berlin from the 1934 musical Top Hat.
Jean Stapleton sings “Losing My Mind” by Stephen Sondheim from the 1971 musical Follies.
The cast does TV commercial parodies.
Harvey is playing chess and concentrating when Phil bites loudly into a Doritos chip. They engage in a crunching competition until the sound of Phil’s crunch knocks Harvey through a wall.
Phil does a parody of Menon after shave. He puts it on but can’t stop slapping himself in the face.
Carol plays Harvey’s grey haired mother. She says he looks tired and he says he hasn’t been getting much sleep. She says, “Why don’t you try Drop Off sleeping pills?” He says, “I remember you said that to dad”. She says, “I guess I shouldn’t have given him the whole bottle”. Then the guard comes to take Carol back to her cell.
Harvey is sitting with his wife Jean and their two kids as he signs a life insurance policy and then has a heart attack and dies. The family sing happily about it.
Jean plays an elderly mother who comes home to a surprise party held by her many children. She starts crying and Carol gives her a box of absorbent tissue, telling her that’s her present from all of them. They leave and say they’ll see her next year.
Phil is coughing and takes Nyquil then starts sneezing.
Harvey and Carol are having coffee but he only gives him half a cup because it will keep him awake. He says, “They can put a man on the moon but they can’t make a coffee that lets you sleep. Then a radio announcer says the moon program has been canceled. Harvey drinks the coffee and goes to sleep. Carol says, “They can make a coffee that lets you sleep but they can’t put a man on the moon”.
Harvey comes home and Carol asks, “How was your flight?” He starts to say, “This irregularity.. .” and Carol immediately pours a laxative into his mouth. He says he meant the plane flights were irregular and then rushes to the bathroom.
Carol and Jean play two working class women sitting on a New York stoop drinking cans of beer. A couple walks by embracing. Jean says there’s a sexual revolution going on. Carol says she’s on the casualty list. Jean says it would be nice to be young enough to have one more fling. They sing “Flings” by Bob Merrill from the 1957 musical New Girl in Town.
Harvey and Carol do an Old Folks sketch as Burt and Mollie for the first time in a long time. It’s the end of the day and she’s mad because she thinks he’s forgotten their anniversary. He finally gives her a string of 64 pearls to match every year they’ve been together. He wants to have sex but she says, “Not this year. I’ve got a headache,”
In the hallway outside of an office an executive played by Harvey is about to go in and sees Jean approaching so he opens the door for her. She calls him a chauvinist pig and says he’s reminding her of centuries of male domination and oppression. He says, “I’m sorry miss”. She corrects him, “Ms.!” He says he’s holding the door open for a lady but she corrects him that she’s a person. She says it’s perfectly alright for a person to hold the door for a person and so she takes hold of the doorknob and says, “After you!” He tries to cross the threshold but it’s as if some invisible force is stopping him. he asks why he can’t do it and Jean says, “Because you are the victim of a male dominated society trapped on the traditional topsy turvy treadmill of machismo mythology!” He asks why he can walk through a door if a man is holding it open. She says because men are not a threat while women are. “You’re afraid of me!” He says he’s not but she opens the door for him again and he still can’t walk through. He asks if he can hold the door for himself and she says he can. He asks who she’s there to see and she says J. W. Perkins about a job. He says he’s J. W. Perkins. She asks if that means she doesn’t get the job? he asks if she’s willing to work for a sexist pig? She asks if she be paid the same as a man and he answers she would. It’s a men’s apparel company and he says they need someone to deal with customer complaints. He says she’d be perfect.
Phil plays a sergeant in the army and Harvey plays his corporal. The male dancers play his men who are a sloppy drill team that Phil wants whipped into shape for the drill team competition. Carol plays a sergeant with Jean as her corporal and a troop of female soldiers marching in much better form. Phil says they won’t be any competition but Carol starts singing “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” by Irving Berlin from the 1946 musical Annie Get Your Gun. Everybody joins in and the men and women do a drill dancing routine that ends in the men and women seductively dancing together. Carol and Jean sing the 1962 song “I’m a Woman” by Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller.
Jean Stapleton made her stage debut in summer stock
in 1941. She made her New York debut in The Corn is Green in 1948. She made her
TV debut on Starlight Theatre in 1951. She made her film debut in Damn Yankees
in 1958, reprising the role she played on Broadway. Norman Lear decided to cast
her in All in the Family after she appeared in his film Cold Turkey in 1971. Over
205 episodes she won three Emmy Awards for playing Edith Bunker. She owned and
operated The Totem Pole Playhouse summer stock theatre in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.
She co-starred in the films Something Wild, Up the Down Staircase, The Buddy
System, Michael, You’ve Got Mail, She was nominated for an Emmy for her performance
as Eleonor Roosevelt in Eleonor First Lady of the World. She co-starred in the
sitcom Bagdad Café. She starred in the series Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.
