July 2, 1996: I started looking for a new place to live

Thirty years ago today

           On Tuesday I started looking in the newspapers for apartments. That night as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage. Marjorie Rebeiro was there and when I mentioned that I was looking for a place she suggested that I could rent a space in the studio where she lived with her boyfriend Andrew. We made a date for me to check it out.

Tony Randall

            On Tuesday morning I memorized the third verse of “La complainte de Bonnot” by Boris Vian. There is only one verse and one chorus left to learn. 

            In Movie Maker I finished editing and published my photo-video of the parody by Serge Gainsbourg of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You). Tomorrow I’ll upload it to YouTube and hopefully there won’t be any copyright issues. If YouTube accepts it then I’ll post the video with my Christian’s Translations publication of the song. 

            I weighed 90.05 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer during song practice and it stayed in tune most of the time. 

            Around midday I finished painting the first coat of the “crazy in love” pink hue on the four floral reliefs on my future bathroom mirror frame. Tomorrow I’ll apply the second coat. 

            I washed some socks and a pair of shorts then put them out on the roof in the sun to dry.

            Yesterday I’d applied Proofide to the Brooks leather saddle of my vintage Raleigh and left it on over night. Today I buffed it. I still need to do the same to the Brooks seat on my Surly. 

            I weighed 90.55 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I wore my sandals for the first time this year. 

            I weighed 89.9 kilos at 17:50, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since June 5. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 20:03. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity then extracted to my hard drive side one of another recording session of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. This is the third tape of that song that I’ve digitized and coincidentally it worked out that the first was the earliest, the second was chronologically next and this one seems to be after that because the song is improving with each session. It took a while to teach Mike what I wanted from the drums. Side 2 seems to be more of the same song. 

            I felt it was too hot to use the oven and the top of the stove tonight so I just had two cold chicken drumsticks with potato chips, salsa and skyr. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 9, episode 22 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup Carol announces that Tim Conway is on holiday with his wife.

            Someone asks Carol what she thinks of what happened on her favourite soap opera All My Children today. Carol tells the audience that Ann told her mother Phoebe that she was pregnant and that it was Paul’s child. Then Phoebe told Margo and in Carol’s opinion Margo is going to get a gun to go after Ann. Because Margo had been pretending that she was going to have Paul’s baby and was planning on buying one. She says they are all bananas on that show. Carol announces that she is going to do a walk-on for All My Children and she’s thinking about going as her old lady character Stella Toddler. 

            Someone asks Carol if she always wanted to be a star. Carol says at first she wanted to be a cartoonist and have her own comic strip. She started getting the entertainment bug when she was 18.

            Carol recounts how someone asked for her autograph but then came back and asked her to write her name more legibly so people would recognize it. So she printed her name. 

            Carol and Harvey play a married couple having a major fight. She throws breakables at him as he swears his going to get even with her as he opens the door to leave. She locks herself in the bedroom. Just then an encyclopaedia salesman named Smiley Rogers (played by Dick Van Dyke) walks in the open door and starts making his pitch to Harvey. Harvey gets the brainstorm that imposing an encyclopaedia salesman on his wife will be the perfect revenge so he tells Smiley to not take no for an answer and then he leaves. Carol comes out swinging with a lamp until she realizes it’s not Harvey and she asks who he is. he says he’s here to enrich her life and she hits him with the lamp. Then she calms down and asks what she can do for him. He blows up a balloon that is a world globe and says “I can give you the world”. She says, “That’s what Arnold said when he proposed!” and she knocks him over the sofa. He’s on his way out when she begs him not to leave her alone. She listens to his pitch but then starts crying and he starts crying too. She says she’s going to kill herself and goes out on the balcony. He runs to stop her and flips over the railing, almost falling himself before he catches hold. He keeps getting knocked off as he tries to reason with her. He tells her they have saying at his company, “If you don’t like sore knuckles don’t knock on the door”. She thinks that’s profound. Then Arnold returns and says he was a fool. Carol says Smiley helped her realize how much she loves him so they decide to buy Smiley’s most expensive set. But then they argue over who’s going to pay the $8 down payment. Smiley gets away just as they start trading punches. 

            Tony Randall recites the lyrics to the song, “Have Some Madeira M’Dear?” by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann. 

            Dick and Tony play two friends on a Hawaiian vacation. Tony has lost $10 and can’t get over it. Dick tries to reason with him that he shouldn’t ruin his holiday over $10. Tony tells him he’d feel the same if he’d lost $10. Dick takes $10 from his pocket and sets it on fire. Tony is impressed and it changes his mood but then he finds the $10 that he’d thought he’d lost. Now though, Dick tells Tony that he owes him $10 because he burned his for him. Tony says he’ll give him $5 and Dick agrees to that. Tony hands the bartender his $10 and asks him to break it into fives. The bartender makes a mistake and gives him change for a $20. Tony gives Dick $5. Dick insists that he owes him another $5. Tony finally gives in and puts another $5 on top of the one he put on the bar beside Dick. But then the bartender realizes his mistake and takes Dick’s $10. Now Dick wants his $5 again. Then an elderly flower lady comes in played by Vicki and asks them to help the poor. Dick and Tony agree to just give the $10 to her. Dick gives her the money and she gives him a hug then leaves. Dick is about to buy Tony a drink when he realizes that Vicki lifted his wallet and his watch so he runs after her. The bartender brings the two drinks Dick ordered and then says, “You got a double star on your receipt so both drinks are on the house!” Tony pours Dick’s drink into his glass. 

            Before introducing Dick, Carol announces that he’s getting his own variety show. It only lasted three months but it did win an Emmy. 

            Dick sings and tap dances (while wearing flippers) to the 1913 song “Ballin the Jack” by Chris Smith and Jim Burris. Considering that he didn’t start dancing until he was 34, his moves are pretty impressive. 

            Carol and Tony play a couple who have just said goodnight to their party guests. Carol is commenting on what a great party it was but Tony is giving her the evil eye. He confronts her on not having read the signals he gave her during the party of which they have a large vocabulary. But she hadn’t noticed when he signaled for her to change the subject. He was trying to stop her from telling a woman about a tramp who’s having an affair with the doctor, because she was talking to the tramp. When he puts his hand to his forehead it is supposed to mean for her to turn on the radio but he was doing it because he had a headache. She puts her head in her hands in frustration but he says, “Don’t tell me to shut up!” They begin to insult each other but only with weird gestures. They finally decide to talk instead of gesture and they embrace. She suggests they go to bed but he gestures that he has a headache.

            They finish with a mini-musical featuring the lyrics of Ira Gershwin. It takes place on a movie set with Harvey as his German director character. Dick plays the clapper loader. Carol is in charge of wardrobe. Tony sings “Girl of the Moment” with music by Kurt Weill from the 1941 musical Lady in the Dark. Carol sews up Vicki’s dress and in her mind she is singing “Looking for a Boy” with music by George Gershwin from the 1925 musical Tip-Toes. In Dick’s head he sings “Somebody Somewhere” with music by George Gershwin from the 1931 film Delicious. The director fired all his stand-ins yesterday so he picks Carol and Dick to stage a scene for him. Dick reads from the script the lyrics to “Love Walked In” from the 1938 musical The Goldwyn Follies. The director tells Carol to stand close to Dick and read the lyrics as well. Then he gets them to put their cheeks together. Then Tony and Vicki sing the song for the cameras with music by George Gershwin. Then Harvey gets Carol and Dick to sit on a bench together to rehearse another scene. Dick reads the lyrics for “I’ve Got A Crush On You” from the 1928 musical Treasure Girl. Carol joins in with their cheeks together. Harvey has Carol sit on Dick’s lap and rub noses with him. Then he tells them to kiss and they linger. Carol and Dick are making notes on the script while in their heads they are singing a duet of “How Long Has This Been Going On” with music by George Gershwin from the 1927 musical Funny Face. Dick sings “Isn’t It Pity?” with music by George Gershwin from the 1933 musical Pardon My English then Carol joins in. Then they get up and start dancing together as they sing, “S’Wonderful” with music by George Gershwin from Funny Face. Then they sing the 1927 song “Soon” with music by George Gershwin. Then they perform the opening song “Love Walked In”. Tony is listening and then tries to seduce Carol as he sings the 1928 song “Embraceable You” with music by George Gershwin. Then Carol sings, “Long Ago and Far Away” with music by Jerome Kern from the 1944 film Cover Girl. Then she turns to Dick to sing the lyric, “All I long for is you”. Then Carol and Dick sing, “I Got Plenty of Nothin” with music by George Gershwin from the 1935 opera Porgy and Bess. Then they sing the 1936 song “For You For Me Forever More” with music by George. Then Tony and Vicki sing ““I’ve Got A Crush On You” while Carol and Dick kiss. 

            Tony Randall studied at New York City’s Neighbourhood Playhouse School of the Theatre. During the 1940s he mostly appeared in supporting roles in Broadway plays. One of his first acting jobs was as Reggie York on the radio series I Love a Mystery. He made his uncredited film debut in Saboteur in 1942. He had his first leading role on Broadway in Inherit the Wind in 1955 in which he originated the role of E.K. Hornbeck. He was nominated for a Tony Award for his starring role in Oh Captain in 1958. He made his feature film debut in Oh Men Oh Women in 1957. He starred in Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao, Fluffy, Our Man in Marrakesh, The Alphabet Murders, The Brass Bottle, Hello Down There, Scavenger Hunt, He co-starred in No Down Payment, The Mating Game, Pillow Talk, Lover Come Back, Send Me No Flowers, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Let’s Make Love, Boys’ Night Out, Island of Love, He co-starred in the sitcoms Mister Peepers, The Odd Couple, He starred in the sitcoms The Tony Randall Show, Love Sidney, He appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman a record 70 times and 105 times on The Tonight Show. He was one of the first guests on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. He founded with $1 million of his own money and was artistic director of The National Actors Theatre.

July 1, 1996: Nancy took our daughter to see the Canada Day fireworks

Thirty years ago today

            My daughter had stayed overnight again on Sunday and on Monday it was Canada Day. True spent the day with me and until her mother came in the evening to pick her up and they went to watch the fireworks.

Joanne Woodward

            On Monday morning I finished taking screen shots of the INA France video of Jean Pierre Cassel and Jane Birkin singing the parody by Serge Gainsbourg of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You). I imported the audio of the song into Movie Maker and placed it on the audio timeline. Then I imported the twenty images and dragged them onto the video timeline. By default any image one puts on the video timeline has a duration of five seconds, so the pictures in total were not long enough for the music. I made the first three images each a second longer and I’ll stretch the rest tomorrow. Then I’ll see if some images need to be made longer or shorter to fit the lyrics. 

            I weighed 90.45 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer during song practice and it stayed in tune more than half the time. 

            I put away some of my laundry that’s been piled up on the couch for two weeks since I cleaned it. 

            I weighed 91.2 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.8 kilos at 17:45. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:19. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive some recordings of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. These aren’t the earliest attempts as Mike was starting to get the hang of the song but it still needed some work. I think there are about three full takes of the song and the rest of that side of the tape is a recording Mike did for a Rush cover band, which also takes up the whole other side of the tape. I didn’t record the other band for this two track recording but I do have it from a previous digitization. The next cassette I’ll digitize is full of multiple takes of “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy”. 

            I worked on digitally enhancing one of my old photos. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 9, episode 21 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup Carol says her special guest Joanne Woodward is a great actor and an even greater person. 

            In the Mama’s Family sketch Eunice comes home drunk at 18:00 with her old school chum Midge Gibson (played by Joanne Woodward). Midge is visiting from Chicago so she and Eunice went drinking at a local dive called The Topsy Turvy Bar. Eunice remembers that Mama is coming over and Midge remembers that Eunice’s mother always thought she was a tramp. She also remembers that her own mother thought Eunice was dumb and worthless with a face like a scarecrow. Midge says that maybe she should have tried harder when she was married. Eunice asks, “Didn’t he get drunk and beat up on you?” “Yeah but maybe that was just his nerves”. Eunice says, “I guess you’ve had a lot of flings since you got divorced”. Midge says, “Every dog has his day. I think I just insulted myself”. Eunice says she only has Ed to judge by but asks Midge if it’s magic. Midge says she’s still looking for that. They do the can-can and then Ed and Mama walk in. Mama says, “I thought this town got rid of that alley cat!” Ed is mad that dinner isn’t ready. Mama says, “We can’t expect Eunice to do her duty when Midge calls and asks her to join her on one of her binges”. Mama tells Midge she runs into her mama sometimes at the mall. She’s always chipper and uncomplaining. “I wouldn’t be half so brave if my daughter lived so far away and led the kind of life you do”. Midge says, “Some people can live near their mamas. I don’t have the stamina”. Mama reminds Midge of all the big things she planned to do with her life. Eunice calls Mama out for implying Midge is a failure. Mama says, Being a failure is nothing to be ashamed of! Hell, look at Ed there!” Eunice says Mama doesn’t approve of alcohol but when daddy was alive they used to come home drunk together. Eunice spills beer on his jigsaw puzzle that he’s been working on for weeks and now he’s upset. Ed asks if she’s going to wipe it up or is she taking the evening off. Eunice says she just might take her whole life off and go back to the Topsy Turvy with Midge. Ed is shocked that his wife went to the Topsy Turvy. Midge says, “Gee Ed, everybody there was askin for you!” He says it’s different when a man goes. Mama says to Midge, “If I was your mother…!” “Well you are not my mother, so I have no emotional objection to punchin you right in the nose!” Eunice wants to see that. Midge says, “I have made many mistakes in my life, but I have never been deliberately malicious and cruel and if you're an example of decency, sister, thank God I'm indecent and you (she points at Ed) you weren't so high and mighty in high school when you were in the back seat of that convertible with me on that double date with Gigi and you practically tore off my best sweater! I finally got away and after that, he ran after Gigi! Jim had to throw him out of the car! Oh, Eunice, I'm sorry. Eunice says she’s just surprised Ed ever had that much energy. Listen, Eunice, I'm going to have to leave. I've had enough of the family unit and the backbone of the country for the moment, but I want to tell your mama thank you because I was feeling very depressed about my life and now I feel a whole lot better!” Eunice tells Midge she’s sorry she has to go. Midge tells Eunice she’s sorry she has to stay. Midge leaves and Eunice deliberately knocks over Ed’s precious jigsaw puzzle.

            Harvey and Vicki play Lanscroft and Evelyn, an upper class couple at dinner. Lanscroft’s butler (played by Tim) is standing by him while Evelyn’s maid (played by Carol) is near her. Niether Lanscroft or Evelyn lift a finger to eat, drink or wipe their mouths. Tim and Carol put the glasses to their master and mistress’s lips and put forkfuls of food in their mouths while Lanscroft and Evelyn have an argument about each the other’s extramarital affairs (Harvey and Vicki are finding it hard to keep straight faces as they are being fed). Evelyn says, “Lanscroft you are a despicable human being! Take that!” Carol walks over to Tim and slaps him in the face. Lanscroft says, “You really think you can to that to me and get away with it?” Tim walks over to Carol and punches her in the gut. Evelyn gets Carol to have a temper tantrum for her. Evelyn says she’s going to end this once and for all. Carol goes to get a gun and points it at Tim, but Evelyn says, I’m going to kill myself!” Carol shoots herself in the stomach and collapses over the table. Lanscroft says he can’t go on living without Evelyn, so now Tim has to shoot himself. He does so but tidies up the table before he collapses. Evelyn and Lanscroft go to each other’s arms. He says they just needed that little fight to clear the air. 

            Carol and Joanne play a couple of wallflowers at a dance. This is a rehashing of a sketch Carol did with Cass Elliot from season 4, episode 8. Nobody wants to dance with them except for Harvey who is out without his wife. They sing “Why Can’t I?” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart from the 1927 musical Spring is Here. They sing “Let’s Be Buddies” by Cole Porter from the 1940 musical Panama Hattie. 

           Tim plays the Swedish boss and Carol is his secretary Mrs. Wiggins again. He calls her to his office but she’s just done her nails and can’t touch anything. he tells her he has a meeting today with Mr. Philips but he doesn’t want anybody in his office before noon. She gets up and leaves. he tells her he doesn’t mean people who work there. He says Philips is going to ask him some questions he can’t answer so he wants Wiggins to watch for him to stand up. That will be her signal to tell him he has a phone call. While he takes the pretend phone call he’ll have time to look up the answer. Wiggins never gets it right. He decides she might get it if they switch roles with her at his desk and him at hers. She still doesn’t get it but when he raises his voice in anger she fires him. He says he quits and leaves wearing her hat. 

            Carol, Vicki and Joanne in early 20th Century style summer dresses close with a song and dance assisted by the Ernie Flatt dancers. They sing “Everything Old is New Again” by Peter Allen and Carol Bayer Sager from the 1974 film The Boy from Oz. 

            When Joanne Woodward was 9 her mother took her to the premiere of Gone with the Wind starring Vivian Leigh. When Leigh arrived in a limo with her escort Laurence Olivier, Joanne suddenly jumped into the car and sat on Olivier’s lap. In her teens Joanne won several beauty contests in Georgia. She majored in drama at Louisiana State University. After graduation she studied acting in New York with Sanford Meisner, who removed her Georgia drawl. She made her TV debut on Robert Montgomery Presents in 1952. She first got together with Paul Newman when they were working as understudies for the Broadway show Picnic. The problem was that he was married and she was engaged to Gore Vidal, but he was gay so that wasn’t a big problem. He desperately wanted a divorce so he could marry Joanne and he got it in 1958. He married Joanne a week later. They went on to have six children in their 50 year marriage. When asked how he remained faithful to Joanne, Paul said I have steak at home, so why go out for hamburger? She co-starred in Count Three and Pray, A Kiss Before Dying, The Sound and the Fury, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, A Fine Madness, The Drowning Pool, From the Terrace, The Fugitive Kind, The End, The Long Hot Summer, Rally Round the Flag Boys, Paris Blues, A New Kind of Love, Winning, WUSA, Mr. and Mrs. Bridge (for which she was nominated for an Oscar), and They Might Be Giants. She starred in The Three Faces of Eve and won an Oscar for it. She accepted it in a dress she made herself. She starred in No Down Payment, The Stripper, Signpost to Murder, Rachel Rachel (for which she was Oscar nominated), The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds, The Glass Menagerie, Summer Wishes Winter Dreams (for which she was Oscar nominated), She won Emmy for her performances in the TV films See How She Runs and Do You remember Love?. She wrote and directed Come Along With Me. She was the host of live from the Met on PBS for three seasons. She graduated from Sarah Lawrence College with a BA at the age of 60, at the same time her daughter Clea graduated. She served as artistic director of The Westport County Playhouse in Connecticut. On her husband being a sex symbol she said he snores. In 1988 she and Paul started the Hole in the Wall summer camp for children with serious diseases.

June 30, 1996: My daughter hit another kid with the toy crossbow I made for her

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday it was a very hot day and I took my daughter to the local playground on Dundas. She brought along the crossbow that I made for her out of an old crutch, a door latch, a big rubber band and a few other things. It wasn’t powerful enough to penetrate anything when it shot the arrow I’d made out of a stick but it could have put somebody’s eye out. She did harmlessly hit another kid with it and from then on I was very conscientious about where she aimed it.

Emmett Kelly

            On Sunday morning in my Christian’s Translations blog I finished preparing the parody of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You) by Serge Gainsbourg for publication. But I needed a video and Blogger is only fully compatible with YouTube videos, of which there are none for this song. The only video online for this song is one for INA France so I decided to make screen shots from that video and use them to create a photo-video for the song in Movie Maker. I’ve got six images so far, leading up to the beginning of the first chorus. I might only need another twenty or so. 

            I weighed 90.15 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice and it stayed in tune through almost all the last half of my session. Before that it went out of tune for almost every song. 

            A truck went by from a company called Live Bait Incorporated. They must have an interesting warehouse. 

            Around midday I painted with the “crazy in love” pink hue the first coat for two of the four floral reliefs on the frame of my future bathroom mirror. I might have the first coat for the rest done on Tuesday. 

            I weighed 90.65 kilos before lunch. I had peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar on saltines with a glass of lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.35 kilos at 17:40.

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:36. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of early recordings of “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. I keep expecting a channel to drop out but everything’s fine now that I have all new cables. The next tape I’ll digitize is also of “Instructions…” I have more tapes of that song than any other. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, three sliced Oktoberfest sausages and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 9, episode 18 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup someone asks when Carol’s book will be out. She says it’s out now. “Can you just pick it up anywhere?” “I’d rather you buy it”. 

            Carol sings a song I assume was written by one of her writers about how, “Anybody named Jackson has got to wind up on top”. She lists several famous people named Jackson and then finally The Jackson 5. Then they come out and sing it with her before doing their own number, “Forever Came Today”. I could tell the songwriters without looking it up because it had the stamp of Holland, Dozier, and Holland, who wrote most of the songs for The Supremes and this song was a hit for them in 1967. Michael Jackson was developing more and more finesse. One could see it in how he spun around and grabbed the mic. 

            Harvey plays a politician about to meet the US president to receive a cabinet post. Tim is his right hand and he comes to Harvey to tell him the president is ready for him. Harvey’s wife has been sitting quietly and now Harvey tells her it’s time to meet the president. Tim says he told the president he would be coming without his wife. Harvey insists he go back and tell the president that his wife would be coming as well if Tim wants to be appointed the undersecretary.. We learn that Carol has just recovered from a severe head injury sustained by sticking her head out of a train window and hitting a telephone pole. She swings from a chandelier when Harvey isn’t looking. Tim comes back with some papers for Harvey to review. When Harvey turns his back Carol is all over Tim, first seductively and then bopping him on the head. When Harvey turns his back again Carol runs, jumps and wraps her legs around Tim as she kisses him and he struggles to get free. Tim asks Harvey to reconsider taking his wife. Harvey says if he asks that again he’s fired. When Harvey’s back is turned again Carol pours water all over Tim. This keeps happening until now she’s drawn a Hitler moustache on Tim and pulled his pants down. Harvey fires Tim and then wonders with whom to replace him. Carol says, “How about Bob Thomson?” Bob Thomson turns out to be the hat rack in Harvey’s office and they take it to meet the president. 

            The Jackson 5 pretend to teach Vicki how to dance and sing the 1974 song “Body Language” by Hal Davis and Don Fletcher. 

            They do a parody of the 1946 film A Stolen Life starring Bette Davis as identical twins with opposite personalities. Carol plays the Bette Davis roles. We first meet the shy and reserved Patsy who is obsessed with the lighthouse she can see from her window. Then she meets Bill the lighthouse keeper played by Harvey and they have a lot in common. They fall for each other but then he meets Patsy’s outgoing and glamourous sister Vera. By the time Patsy returns to the room they have run off together. Months later Vera and Bill are married and living in New York where Bill is a big success. Vera returns for a visit and she and Patsy go sailing. Vera drowns and Patsy assumes her identity so she can be with Bill. She has to deal with the fact that every man she meets is Vera’s lover. She learns that Bill wants to divorce her so she reveals herself to him and he says he is now free to be with the one he truly loves, which is his maid Docina. So Patsy lets all of Vera’s lovers fawn over her as consolation. 

            The final sketch is an almost exact remake of one from season 4, episode 8. Carol’s Charwoman is at a circus. She meets a clown who gives her a dead rose. He tries to juggle while balancing a feather on his nose but he can’t juggle and the feather is glued to his nose. He sweeps the spotlight into a small circle, picks it up and hands it to her. She puts it in her pocket. She sings “It’s Only a Paper Moon” by Harold Arlen, Yip Harburg and Billy Rose from 1933. Then she sings “Look for the Silver Lining” by Jerome Kern and B.G. De Sylva from 1919. At the end she thanks “the world’s greatest clown”, Emmett Kelly. I would think if he was really the world’s greatest clown he would have come up with another routine in five years. 

            Emmett Kelly wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist but couldn’t get work in that field so he became a chalk-talk artist. He would tell stories and illustrate them in chalk. He then became a trapeze artist. His first appearance as a clown was with Howe’s Great London Circus in 1921 in Iowa. The sad faced clown persona he played on the Carol Burnett Show was named Weary Willy and he was based on the many hoboes that that were a common sight during the Depression. A “weary willy” was another name for a hobo. He performed as a cartoonist dressed as a clown in night clubs. His nightclub act attracted the attention of several circuses and he eventually joined Coles Brothers Circus. He helped to rescue several children after a circus tent caught fire. He had a nightclub act in the 1930s with Linn Sheldon. He made his Broadway debut in Keep Off the Grass in 1940. In 1942 he joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey where he did an act called Panto’s Paradise in which he played a hobo clown in Fairyland. He made his film debut in The Fat Man in 1951. His 1954 memoir is called Clown. In 1956 he was the first guest on What’s My Line? In 1958 he co-starred in Wind Across the Everglades. In 1959 he was hired by Pacific Ocean Amusement Park for 19 weeks as vice president in charge of fun. He was a regular for 15 years at Harrah’s in Lake Tahoe. He became known to millions when he started performing on TV. He was in Bette Midler’s first TV special and she sang John Prine’s song “Hello In There” to his Weary Willy character.

June 29, 1996: It was a rainy day

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I picked up my daughter from her mother’s place and brought her to mine to spend the weekend. It was a rainy day and so we played indoors.