Marilyn Lovell

            On Thursday morning before going to bed a little after 1:30 I drank the Omnipaque, which was the final preparation for my CT scan later that day. It was horrible tasting stuff. They said I could drink it with ginger ale but I didn’t have any. I looked it up online to see if I could drink it with cranberry juice but the response was no, despite the instructions saying that the clear fluids I could drink during the preparation included cranberry juice. I was confused about the difference between clear fluid and clear liquid and so I played it safe and suffered through drinking the stuff with just water. It almost immediately bloated up my stomach to an uncomfortable degree and so it took me a while to get to sleep. 

            After yoga I finally memorized the eighteenth verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. There are fifteen new lines left to learn. 

            I continued to gather images for my photo-video of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. I have 171 so far. 

            I left for Mount Sinai Hospital at 7:37 and got to Imaging Reception a little before 8:30. I sat in the CT scan waiting area for about half an hour. I was looking for this week’s supermarket flyers on my phone but had a difficult time because the Mount Sinai wifi is very weak. 

            Someone called me and directed me to the dressing booth where I put the gowns on correctly this time. Sheila was waiting for me when I had changed and helped me carry my stuff to the fancy high tech CT scan room. She was very nice and personable and calmly explained what was going to happen and how it was going to feel. 

            I found out that I could have drank cranberry juice with the Omnipaque after all. 

            She injected Buscopan into my arm to reduce bowel spasms. She inserted a tube in my anus with a balloon on the end and then pumped carbon dioxide into my colon. It was quite uncomfortable.

            Several shots were taken with me on my stomach and back while a robot voice told me when to inhale and hold my breath. Near the end they found that there was an area that didn’t have a clear image. I asked if it was the same area they couldn’t reach during the colonoscopy and she said it probably was. She reinjected the gas and had me lie on my right side for another scan and this time they got it. 

            When I left the hospital I saw that I’d been there for an hour and twenty minutes. 

            On the way home I stopped at Freshco where I bought four bags of grapes, a pack of raspberries, bananas, avocadoes, vine tomatoes, a jug of cranberry juice, and two bottles of Garden Cocktail.

            I weighed 87.6 kilos at 11:15, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since December 24.

            I had breakfast and then took an early siesta. 

            I did the sit-ups, the chin-ups, the push-ups, and the skips that I normally do in the morning. 

            I weighed 88.25 kilos at 16:15. January 7 was the last early afternoon when I was that easy on the scale. I had a couple of mashed avocadoes with the last of my plantain chips and a glass of orange juice for lunch. 

            Song practice was a write off today for the first time in years because of the time I had to leave earlier that morning. I just couldn’t find the time to do it. I also skipped my usual shower. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:11. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity, side 1 of a rehearsal with Tom Smarda on January 6, 1994. We practiced several of my songs that became part of the Christian and the Lions repertoire, including “Megaphor”, “The Next State of Grace”, “Calendar Girl”, “Seven Shades of Blues”, “Hungry Hippunk Goes to Work”, and “Me and Gravity”. At first there was no wave form and so I restarted but there were still no jagged sound lines. I shut down Bit Torrent to free up some memory and restarted again but the same problem persisted. I went into the Task Manager and shut down a few more things, then restarted again and this time it worked. 

            I heated the rest of the vegetable broth. I made a salad with vine ripened cherry tomatoes, two avocadoes, marinated mushrooms, olive paste, and maple-Dijon dressing. I ate supper while watching episode 6 of Captain Nice. 

            Carter Nash and his mother Esther Nash are just leaving a movie theatre when they hear a woman cry for help at the top of a burning building. Carter takes a ridiculous amount of time to change to Captain Nice. Even after he’s changed he doesn’t save her right away and while he’s standing there a guy comes out of the burning building and hands him a kerosene can. He saves her and it turns out she’s an exotic dancer named Miss Devine. Nice runs back into the burning building to see if there’s anyone else that needs rescuing and Esther calls out , “Carter be careful!”. The arson is listening from around the corner and repeats, “Carter”. 

            Devine is brought to look at suspects in a police line-up and although the suspects are known arsonists she doesn’t recognize any of them. She says the only one who saw the firebug was Captain Nice. Carter is sitting right there and has to pretend he didn’t see the bad guy. Then Lipton, the owner of the building steps in and Carter recognizes him as the arsonist but can't say anything without revealing his secret identity. 

            Carter checks the city records and finds that Lipton’s building was insured for twice as much as it was worth. 

            Captain Nice arrives at the mayor’s office just as Lipton is leaving and lets Chief Segal know that Lipton is the arsonist. Nice reluctantly agrees to testify in court. 

            While waiting outside the courtroom Carter is handed a note by the bailiff and it’s from Lipton. It reads, “If I am found guilty I will reveal your secret identity”. From the witness stand Nice points out Lipton as the arsonist. Lipton shouts, “You’ll pay for this!” The judge asks, “Are you threatening the witness?” “You bet I am!” “All right, I was just wondering. No need to get sore.” 

            Captain Nice leaves the courtroom and changes to Carter then goes back into court. Lipton grabs the guard’s gun and says he knows Captain Nice won’t stop his escape for fear of revealing his secret. Lipton backs toward the door but the door opens behind him and Carter’s mother in a Captain Nice costume knocks Lipton out with her purse. 

            Miss Devine was played by Marilyn Lovell, who often played a ding-bat character in her acting roles and in her cabaret performances. In 1958 she released her album Scotch Mist. She sang on the soundtracks for Scream Blacula Scream, The Return of Count Yorga, and Terror House. She returned to college in the 70s and 80s and became a therapist with a focus on AIDS patients. She performed many fund raising benefit cabaret concerts for AIDS research.

March 6, 1996: Anybody who stayed to the end of my open stage got invited home for coffee

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday evening as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage in the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel and invited those who stayed to the end back to my place for coffee.

Florence Halop

            On Wednesday morning I continued gathering images for my photo-video of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg.

            In my preparation for tomorrow’s CT scan of my colon I mixed the barium but mistakenly added a liter of water instead of 750 ml. I don’t see why it would matter though since I’ll still be drinking it all in three doses anyway. I had the first dose and the taste was not horrible but the consistency was disgusting. I was supposed to take the Pico Salax in the morning but I was worried I’d start to purge in the early afternoon while I was in the hygienist’s chair so I decided to wait until I got back. 

            I weighed 90.7 kilos after my liquid breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic for the last of two sessions and it stayed in tune into the next song only twice. Tomorrow I’ll begin a four session stretch of playing my electric guitars. I had three songs left when I had to stop to get ready to leave. 

            I left for the U of T Graduate School of Dentistry at about 12:15 and got there pretty much exactly on time. Villi told me I’ve been doing an excellent job of brushing. My next appointment is in the middle of July. 

            When I got home I took the second dose of barium and the first packet of Pico Salax. 

            I finished the last three songs of my rehearsal and drank a glass of cranberry juice. 

            I took a siesta from 16:00 to 17:53. 

            I weighed 89.35 kilos at 18:10, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since February 9. 

            I started to purge my bowels at around 18:30. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:19. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of the rehearsal with Steve Lowe of my song “Snow on a Poppy”. We also talked about Indian gurus. Steve was a disciple of Sai Baba. 

            I made a folder for photos of Sarah Louise Young in my SSD and deleted several pictures of her from my hard drive. 

            At around 20:00 I drank the last of the barium and then the last of the Pico Salax. 

            I had a glass of cranberry juice and a bowl of vegetable broth while watching episode 5 of Captain Nice. This one was funnier than the previous scripts. 

            It’s Carter Nash’s birthday and his mother Esther, his friend Candy and his uncle Mayor Finney are feting him in a nightclub called Medulla where the featured performer and the owner is Medulla the Mentalist. 

            Medulla suddenly acts possessed. He says there’s a wanted killer in the room and then Carter sees a man at a table draw a gun. He goes to the coat check to change to Captain Nice then flies in front of Medulla to shield him from the bullet just in time. Then the man pulls a knife but Medulla tells him he wasn’t talking about him and the man puts the knife away saying, “Oh, well no harm done”. As the police take the man away Medulla says, “If there’s one thing you get used to in this business, it’s hecklers”. 

            The next day Carter is with the mayor and the police chief and the mayor is complaining about the current crime wave. The chief explains that every thug in the country is in Big Town because Joe Kowalski is about to be released from prison. Joe is the only surviving member of the gang that made the Great San Perdu Train Robbery and he’s the only one who knows where the $2 million is buried. The mayor asks the chief if he questioned Joe and he answers, “With every rubber hose in the station house”. Carter is surprised and asks, “You struck a prisoner?”. The chief explains, “We talk to them through rubber hoses. It throws them off their guard”. 

            Mayor Finney has the idea for Medulla to read Joe’s mind and find out where the money is”. Carter urges him not to consult Medulla because he’s a fraud. Finney tells Carter to test Medulla’s powers in his lab. Carter says he’ll do it but warns that if they use that charlatan for official business they’ll be the laughing stock of Big Town. He asks, “How would you like that?” The chief answers that it hasn’t bothered them so far. 

            The scene switches to the home of Joe Kowalski’s wife and two sons as they prepare for the celebration of Joe’s return home after twenty years. Mrs. Kowalski is overjoyed about seeing her husband again. Her son Lennie asks why she never visited Joe in prison and she says because Thursday is canasta night. Lennie asks why Joe never told them where the money is. Mrs. K says, Maybe because you turned him in”. 

            Joe arrives but while starting to tell his family where the money is he has a heart attack and dies. All he says is, “Check … room… Medulla”. Jake knows Medulla is the name of a nightclub and the mentalist who owns it. He says they’ll go to search Medulla’s room. If they don’t find anything they’ll bring Medulla back there and beat it out of him. Jake will break his arms, Lennie will break his legs, and Ma will step on his face. Mrs. K gets sentimental and says, “It’s been so long since this family has done anything together”. 

            Carter tests Medulla and confirms he’s a fake but Finney takes his findings as confirmation of Medulla’s powers and puts him on the case. Carter goes to Medulla’s room to find evidence that he’s not a real psychic but while he’s there Jake and Lennie arrive and think Carter is Medulla. They force him back to their place and when they threaten to kill him Carter pretends he’s going into a trance to find the money. They follow Carter back to the Nash house where Carter is looking for his super power serum while pretending to be guided to the money. Carter’s mother has the serum and gives it to him, telling the brothers that it’s Medulla’s memory juice. The brothers are defeated. 

            Carter concludes that what Joe told his family: “Check room Medulla” means the money is in the check room at Medulla’s night club and it has been there for twenty years. 

            Mrs. Kowalski was played by Florence Halop, who started performing on radio at the age of 4. Her radio debut was on “Coast to Coast on a Bus”. Also on the radio she played the man crazy daughter of owner of Duffy’s Tavern and Hot Breath Houlihan for two seasons of The Jimmy Durante Show. Her film debut was in Nancy Drew Reporter in 1939. Her TV debut was as Millie’s mother on the sitcom Meet Millie in the early 50s and she played the character at the same time on the radio. She played the bailiff Florence Kleiner on 22 episodes of Night Court until she died. She was a regular guest star as the annoying patient Mrs. Hufnagel during the third season of St Elsewhere.

March 5, 1996: My new landlords suddenly decided they didn't want to share their place after all

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday my new landlords Helga and Peter told me they’d decided they didn’t want to share their rented house with anyone after all and asked if I would kindly move out. I couldn’t believe they would invite someone to go through the trouble of pulling up their roots and then expect them to just move again after settling in when I’d done nothing to hurt them whatsoever other than just being another person in their lives. I refused to move and they immediately put the wheels into motion to try to evict me. It turned out that Helga was particularly talented in that kind of devious endeavour.

Sabrina Scharf

            On Tuesday morning I continued gathering images for my photo-video of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. I have 166 so far. 

            I weighed 90.25 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the first of two sessions and it was out of tune on every song for the first three quarters of the session. During the last five songs it stayed in tune.

            I made a few more sub-folders for photos in my SSD and deleted several more images from my hard drive. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.4 kilos at 18:30. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:16. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side one of a rehearsal of my songs “Spool of the Moon” and “Snow on a Poppy” with Steve Lowe trying to learn the songs on guitar. Neither song ever became part of the Christian and the Lions repertoire. 

            I deleted a few photos from my hard drive. 

            I steamed the rest of my broccoli and had it in a salad with two vine ripened tomatoes, two avocadoes, a scallion, and lime-miso dressing. I ate while watching episode 4 of Captain Nice. 

            At the dedication of a bridge from Big Town to Trash Island we learn that it is being named after Mayor Finney. Maybe Donald Trump got his ideas of naming landmarks after himself from this show.

            Finney has the oldest person in town dedicate the bridge by breaking a bottle of champagne against it. The impact causes large pieces of the bridge to begin falling apart. 

            Carter Nash is there and quickly finds a secluded place to change into Captain Nice. He saves people from a falling girder.

            Later Carter analyzes the bridge cement and finds that it’s 30% oatmeal. He interrupts Finney’s flirtations with his secretary Miss Schneider to tell him about the faulty construction material. 

            The mayor confronts Porter and Spencer the bridge builders about their shoddy material. They first try to bribe him but when that doesn’t work they pull a gun and hold him hostage until he signs the million dollar cheque. 

            Finney’s absence is barely noticed and Miss Schneider has almost forgotten him. Carter’s mother wants him to turn to Captain Nice and then fly around looking for her brother the mayor but he doesn’t want to fly when he has a cold. She tells him to wear his winter costume and two pairs of socks but he says he has to leave. Carter leaves behind something he earlier told Sergeant Candy Cane was “turpin hydro phosphor chlorate” but it’s probably Turpin-hydrate (a kind of cough medicine that used to be popular). His mother thinks he left behind his super power serum and she drinks it in order to fly to find her brother. She jumps out the window and crashes. 

            Carter and Candy in civilian clothes go to see Porter and Spencer under the pretense of having them build an apartment building for them. But they recognize Candy as a cop and pull a gun. They capture Candy but Carter runs outside and hides in a garbage bin where he transforms into Captain Nice. Spencer attacks him with a forklift but Nice bends the forks. Spencer and Porter try to escape into their own building but when they slam the door the building collapses. Nice says they’ll be sentenced to several years in prison but the prison won’t hold them for more than a few days because they built it.

             Miss Schneider was played by Sabrina Scharf, who when she was 15 eloped with her algebra teacher but the marriage was annulled after 3 years. She travelled to New York where in a Greenwich Village diner she met an off-Broadway theatre troupe that offered her a job as an assistant and let her sleep in the theatre. After working as a Playboy Bunny for a while in a New York club she went out to California. She got hired as a contract player by Columbia and her TV debut was on an episode of Gidget in 1965. Her film debut was in Dead Heat on a Merry Go Round in 1966. She co-starred in Hells Angels On Wheels. She appeared in the film Easy Rider and guest starred as Miramanee, Kirk’s love interest in the Star Trek episode The Paradise Syndrome. In 1972 she ran for the California state senate and only lost by 700 votes. She became an attorney and practiced real estate law.

March 4, 1996: It was still too cold to play outside

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday it was cold so my daughter and I played inside.

Johnny Haymer

            On Monday morning I continued collecting images for my photo-video of “Les millionaires”. I have 163 so far. 

            I weighed 91.05 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since February 21. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice and it stayed in tune pretty much the whole session. Tomorrow I’ll begin a two session stretch of playing my Martin acoustic. 

            Around midday I finished painting with “blue bliss” the underside of my lower bathroom shelf and added a first coat to the trim between north wall and the wall tiles below. I might have all the trim done on Friday, and after that I’ll start of the door and the door frame.

            I weighed 91.6 kilos before lunch. That’s the unkindest I’ve been to the scale in the early afternoon since February 20. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I stopped at Metro in the Annex to buy five vine ripened tomatoes. 

            I weighed 90.7 kilos at 18:30, the same as last Monday evening. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:08. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive a recording of Steve Lowe and I rehearsing my songs “Angeline” twice and “Calendar Girl” once. Steve was very proud of his guitar playing on “Angeline”. This was side two of the tape that I started copying yesterday and which contained on the other side my performance of Rocky Capano’s song and also of my own song “Me and Gravity”. 

            I made some more sub-folders for photos in my SSD and deleted several more images from my hard drive. 

            I steamed some broccoli and had it in a salad with two tomatoes, two avocadoes, a scallion, and lime-miso salad dressing. I ate it while watching episode 3 of Captain Nice. 

            While stopping two burglars from breaking into a jewellery store Captain Nice accidentally and unknowingly spills his super power serum. He doesn’t notice it’s missing until the next morning and then he goes back to the jewellery store. There is a small hole in the glass window of the store with some threads around it. Then he hears the police say the entire Garden of Eden Botanical Nursery has been stolen and he goes along with them as police chemist Carter Nash to investigate. He finds the same silk threads at the nursery and concludes that the nursery wasn’t stolen but rather eaten, perhaps by some kind of animal. 

            Carter and Sergeant Candy Cane go to see the animal expert Dr. Von Keppel at the zoo. Carter says he knows he’s been studying animals all his life. The doctor says “longer than that”. He says animals are his main love and then he shoos away a pigeon from his window and expresses how disgusting they are. Keppel says animals should be allowed to roam freely and anyone who disagrees with that should be in jail. 

            While they are there they see an elephant has been knocked unconscious. Inside the nearby food storage building they hear the sounds of eating and a great roar. Carter goes inside and then comes back out in shock. He says it was a caterpillar. The little monster has already consumed the produce of six supermarkets and trees are falling all around. The army starts bombing it but it has no effect. Carter says it will soon turn into a moth. 

            Carter builds a caterpillar lure that reproduces the sound of lettuce. He activates it in the park, then turns into Captain Nice. He tries to fight the unseen monster but it tosses him away easily. Then Nice feeds his serum to his mother’s pet parakeet Sheldon and the bird eats the caterpillar. Now Sheldon is missing and several hundred kilos of birdseed have disappeared from the grainery. 

            Dr. Von Keppel was played by Johnny Haymer, who portrayed Sergeant Zelmo Zale on twenty episodes of M.A.S.H. He was the voice if the Decepticon Swindle in the Transformers. He guest starred in “All Our Yesterdays”, the penultimate episode of the original Star Trek series. He co-starred on Madame’s Place. He did TV commercials for Standard Shoes.