Lily Tomlin

            On Tuesday morning I memorized the third verse of L'anguille (The Eel) by Boris Vian. 

            I worked on memorizing the sixth and final verse of “Il est Rigolo mon gigolo” (He’s a Giggle Oh My Gigolo). There’s a good chance I’ll have the song in my head tomorrow and then I’ll start translating it. 

            I weighed 88.45 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the first of two sessions and it stayed in tune. 

            Around midday I rode up to Sham Florists at Dufferin and Dundas to see if they could coordinate with a florist in Montreal to send some flowers to my daughter. I did the same thing a few years ago and my daughter liked it. I picked out two or three flowers of each kind I liked, knowing that the florist in Montreal might have to approximate them. I said I’d set my budget for the flowers at $75 and they added the possible delivery fee on top. They didn’t take debit and so I paid $107.35 in cash. 

            I rode to Made You Look to pick up my amethyst, which they couldn’t polish but cleaned with water and soda at no charge. They made it quite sparkly with the washing. They put it in a fancy gift box with a ribbon around it even though I didn’t pay them anything. Everybody is so nice there I feel almost guilty about having no interest in jewellery. 

            I got a notice from the Attorney General’s office telling me I’ve been randomly selected to complete a mandatory jury eligibility form and have to do it within 30 days. I doubt if I’d be selected since I have a criminal record from when the cops planted drugs on me. 

            I weighed 89.5 kilos before lunch, which is the lightest I’ve been in the early afternoon since May 2. 

            I took a siesta and was woken by a call from Sham Florists. The Montreal florists didn’t have most of the flowers I’d selected, including the birds of paradise. I just said to pick purple, red, blue, and yellow and exotic. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 89.4 kilos at 18:00. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:45. 

            I worked again on trying to record with both channels from cassette through audio interface to Audacity. At first I could only get the left channel. I reached around to the back and pushed the output jacks in hard. That seemed to help and I was able to record one take of my song “Seven Shades of Blues” but part of the way into the second take I lost the right channel again. I pushed the jacks again but it didn’t help this time. For many years I’ve had the problem that sometimes my right speaker goes off but it often just takes shifting the amplifier from side to side to come back. I’d always thought that this was just about the speaker connection but the speaker wouldn’t affect me recording since I’m running a line from the amp to the audio interface. It seems that the problem all along might have been coming from inside the amp. A connection might need to be soldered. I might have to take it to AMI Electronics to get Dr. Oscar Moz to fix it. But then I’d be without a stereo for a few days. I wonder if he makes house calls. 

            I grilled eight chicken drumsticks and had two with a potato and gravy while watching season 6, episode 9 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            Instead of the usual audience warmup with questions and answers, the show begins with a song and dance number. Carol sings the 1970 song “We’re All Playing in the Same Band” by Bert Sommer. Then Steve Lawrence and Lily Tomlin join in. They segué into the 1970 song “I Believe in Music” by Mac Davis. 

            Lily does a monologue while sitting alone at a restaurant table after having been ditched by her computer date. She filled out one card for $2 and got 104 dates. It might have helped that she said in her profile that she was a good sport. She lights a cigar, tosses the lighter in the air and catches it in her inside vest pocket. She says one of the 104 matches might be Mr. Right. He’ll love her, cherish her, and make all of her dreams come true. Then she’ll hurt him. 

            In the Carol and Sis sketch Carol gets a call from her old college friend Shirley Martin. She’s crying after having finalized her divorce today so Carol invites her over to try and cheer her up. Roger wants to go for his golf lesson but Carol convinces him to stay at least for a few minutes to make Shirley feel welcome. But when Shirley arrives she is not only not depressed but she is upbeat and vivacious and so sexy that Roger decides to skip his golf lesson. She’s flirtatious with Roger, so Carol becomes increasingly jealous. Carol asks why she was crying over the phone and Shirley explains that they were tears of joy. She and Roger dance although Roger hasn’t danced since before he and Carol got married. Shirley leaves for a date with her first husband. Carol is mad at Roger and makes fun of his dancing. He does the funky chicken again and she cracks up. Roger throws out his back. He’s bent over and can’t straighten up so he asks Carol to help him so he can go to his golf lesson. Carol breaks one of his clubs and hands him the end so he can play golf bent over. 

            Steve Lawrence sings the 1939 song “I Get Along Without You Very Well (Except Sometimes) by Hoagy Carmichael and Jane Brown Thompson, and then segués into the 1970 song “Without You” by Pete Ham and Tom Evans that was a hit for Harry Nilsson in 1971. 

            Carol plays Nancy, the naïve new wife of a parody of Don Coleone (played by Steve with cotton in his mouth) in a spoof on The Godfather. They are about to begin their honeymoon when Guido arrives and embraces the Don. The Don kisses Guido on the mouth, causing Nancy confusion. Then the Don’s men shoot Guido. The Don and Nancy are kissing when Pasquale (played by Harvey) comes in as someone from the old country begging the Don for help but only Nancy seems to notice him. The Don carries Nancy to the bed and the Don strips to his pajamas as Pasquale does too and gets into bed beside them as he continues to tell his story with ridiculous facts like “my cow had dandruff”. Pasquale reminds the Don he’s known him 15 years and never asked a favour. He asks him for $10 till Monday. The Don asks, “What do I look like? A Bank?” Pasquale asks alternatively if he’ll arrange for him to become a US senator. The Don calls for three of his men and they crawl out from under the bed. He tells them to take Pasquale to Washington and make him a senator. Nancy says there’s a lot she doesn’t understand. Don says he doesn’t know much about her either. She tells him her name is Nancy Ravioli and suddenly he is terrified. He asks if she’s related to his enemy Hy Ravioli. She says she’s his son Kevin and then she shoots him. 

            Lily plays a sadistic prison guard named Muncey Ripka and Carol plays a tough prisoner named Spike de Bouvoir. An elderly prisoner steps forward to talk to Mincey but Muncey slaps her face and tells her she doesn’t play favourites, adding “Get that through your head mom!” Spike is thrown into a cell with a dumb prisoner named Vicki who plays the harmonica. Spike compliments her on her playing and then Vicki shows her hands are empty and says she can’t wait till she gets a harmonica. Spike asks how long she’s been there and Vicki shows her several marks on the wall that she’s drawn to indicate her time. She says pretty soon it’ll be a whole day. Spike tells Vicki her escape plan and she takes notes. Then she passes the note to Muncey who tortures Spike by running her fingernails over a chalkboard. This breaks Spike and she says she’ll submit. Spike receives a cale from the Concealed Weapon Cake Company. There’s a file inside and Vickie starts filing her nails. Spike uses the file to pick the lock and when Muncey comes to crack her knuckles Spike captures her and gets her gun. She’s about to leave with Muncey as a hostage when they are approached by Spike’s brother Father Mike the priest. While Spike is distracted Muncey grabs for the gun and they struggle until it goes off and Muncey dies. Mike tells Spike she’ll get the chair now and they walk down the hall until their large breasted Jewish mother (played by Harvey) arrives with her hand on the governor’s ear by which she’s dragged him there and forced him to pardon Spike. But Spike and Mike find her so overbearing they’d rather both go to the chair. 

            Carol’s Charwoman cleans up in the dressing room of a burlesque house. She puts on some of the accessories and sings “If My Friends Could See Me Now” by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields from the 1966 musical Sweet Charity. Then she does a duet in the mirror with a fancy version of herself in the mirror of the song “Baby Dream Your Dream” from the same musical.

            Lily Tomlin was born the day WWII started. She studied acting under Charles Nelson Reilly at HB Studio in Greenwich Village. She started her career doing standup comedy in Detroit and then New York. Dje made her TV debut on The Merv Griffin Show. She became famous for the characters she portrayed on Laugh-In. She won a Grammy for her album This is a Recording in 1971. She won an Emmy for her TV special Lily. She made her film debut in Nashville for which she was nominated for an Oscar. She made her Broadway debut in the one woman show Appearing Nitely in 1977. She won a Tony for her one woman show The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. She co-starred in The Late Show, 9 to 5, Grace and Frankie, All of Me, Big Business, Flirting with Disaster, 80 for Brady, Moving On, She starred in Moment by Moment, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, A Prairie Home Companion, Grandma, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, She was the voice Miss Frizzle on The Magic School Bus and of Aunt May in Spiderman Into the Spiderverse. She played Murphy’s boss on Murphy Brown. During her Las Vegas show she was her own opening act as the lounge singer Tommy Velour. Before a one woman show in New York she dressed as a nurse and handed out coffee to people waiting in line for the show. She won the Mark Twain Prize for Humour in 2003. She said, “Reality is a crutch for people that can’t cope with drugs”. She published an autobiography of her character Edith Ann called My Life in 1995.

May 13, 1996: Brian and I rehearsed for my feature at the Art Bar

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday Brian Haddon and I rehearsed for my June feature at the Art Bar Reading Series.

Peggy Lee

            On Monday morning I memorized the fifth verse of “Il est Rigolo mon gigolo” (He’s a Giggle Oh My Gigolo). There’s only one more verse to learn. 

            I weighed 88.95 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since last Monday though not quite as much. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice and it stayed in tune about half the time. 

            Around midday I went over to Made You Look with a piece of the big amethyst rock that I broke apart a few years ago. I wanted to see if they could polish it before I send it to my daughter for her birthday. The gemmologist wasn’t there so I left the amethyst for them to look at when they return. They got back to me later by email to tell me that it’s already the colour it grew as and so polishing wouldn’t enhance that. They cleaned it free of charge and I’ll pick it up tomorrow. That store is enormous now. I went in there more than twenty years ago with my daughter because she’d gotten the ring from a Lord of the Rings board game stuck on her finger and they were able to cut the ring off. Back then there was a counter about five meters from the door and the area leading to it was the whole store. Now the store stretches back to the end of the building with more than one room. 

            I weighed 89.95 kilos before lunch. May 3 was the last early afternoon when I pushed the scale that far. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride and stopped at Long and McQuade to buy a stereo splitter so I can record in stereo with my audio interface. I’ve been only getting the left channel. 

            I stopped at Freshco to look for grapes but they were all too soft so I just went home. 

            I weighed 89.95 kilos at 18:05. Not quite as much as the evening of May 3. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:30.

            I tried recording with the new stereo breakout in my audio interface but I still only got the left channel. I didn’t have a lot of time to try to find a solution. 

            My upstairs neighbour David called to ask if I’d help him do the census online. It wasn’t that difficult. I’m almost exactly ten years older than David. 

            I had a potato with gravy and my last piece of pork tenderloin while watching season 6, episode 8 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            In the first skit Carol does a parody of the comic strip character Mary Worth. Mary Worthless helps people in trouble whether they like it or not. A couple played by Harvey and Vicki have been ecstatically happy for five years with not a single argument until Mary comes to serve as their maid for a dinner with his boss as guest. Vicki has already set the table but Mary says she’ll, “Clear these dirty dishes”. She sees they’ve made martinis and refers to Harvey’s “drinking problem”. Mary says Harvey thinks Vicki is too stupid to cope with it. She also says he’s cheating on her and their marriage doesn’t have a chance. This set Vicki off to be suspicious of her husband. Then Mary implies it’s Vicki who’s cheating. The couple begins to argue for the first time. Harvey thinks Vicki is having an affair with his boss who she’s never met. When his boss arrives he punches him. Then Harvey kills himself by jumping out the window. 

            Peggy Lee sings the 1970 composition “A Song for You” by Leon Russell.

            Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara do one of their comedy routines. Jerry tells the audience that although Anne comes across on stage as loud and overbearing, at home she’s a normal housewife who cooks and cleans. Anne says that’s a lie and that she hates cooking and cleaning. As President Richard Nixon had recently visited China, Stiller and Meara do a skit as if they are Mr. and Mrs. Chou en Lai discussing the visit after the Nixons leave. They stole towels and ashtrays from the hotel and left graffiti on the great wall. Mrs. Lai at first thought that Barbara Walters was Mrs. Nixon because they all look alike. 

            Carol and Peggy sing a song about how women like to gossip. “Girl Talk” by Neal Hefty and Bobby Troup was written for the 1965 film Harlow. 

            In "As the Stomach Turns", the circus is in town and Marian is visiting the owner, her old friend Madame Tanbark the bearded lady (played by Anne Meara). She says someone is trying to sabotage the circus. She says the frog legged woman committed suicide by covering herself in garlic sauce and walking into a French restaurant. Marian asks if it was Pierre’s last Thursday and Tanbark says yes. By the expression on Marian’s face we know that she ate the frog legged woman. She says she didn’t recognize her under all that parsley. Hugo the strongman comes and Marian gives him a body search in case he’s a saboteur. Vicki plays Harry Harriet the half man-half woman. It’s an abusive relationship. Harvey plays Gregory the lion tamer who has lost his nerve. Marian reminds him that lion taming is in his blood as his father was the greatest of all time. She asks how he lost his nerve. He says it happened when he opened up the lion’s mouth and his father was inside. 

            They try to demonstrate the difference between men and women by showing their reactions to being in the exact same kind of car accident. The men get into a fight but each woman says that it was her fault. They leave the wreckage where it is and go for lunch together. 

            Carol and Harvey play a wealthy couple of high breeding who are preparing for the wedding of their son. Their guest list has only Vanderbilts, Rockefellers, and the Onassis family. But then they meet their future daughter in law’s parents (played by Stiller and Meara) and see to their horror that they are working class. Anne wants her martini to be three parts gin and three parts Kool Aid. Then the young couple arrive to announce to both sets of parents’ horror that they want to have their wedding on the street in Greenwich Village. The wedding begins with a song and dance of the song “The Rhythm of Life” from the 1966 musical Sweet Charity. Peggy Lee, clad all in red plays a hippy high priestess as she officiates over the wedding. 

            Peggy Lee sang before she could talk. She was raised by an abusive stepmother and wrote about the experience in her song “One Beating a Day”. She sang it during her Broadway debut in the 1983 musical Peg. In her teens she started singing on the radio. She developed her sultry purr in 1940 while singing in nightclubs. Rather than trying sing above the noise she sang softly below it and was able to get through. She became the singer for Benny Goodman’s big band. In 1942 she had her first top ten hit with “Somebody Else is Taking My Place”. She and Goodman had a hit with “Why Don’t You Do Right?” She had a hit in 1947 with “Golden Earrings”. She co-wrote “Manana” in 1948 and it was a #1 hit. In her solo career she had even bigger hits with “Fever” (she added lyrics to the song that are now standard but never copyrighted them), “Big Spender” and “Is That All There is?” (for which she won a Grammy in 1969). She co-starred in The Jazz Singer (1952), She was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance in Pete Kelly’s Blues in 1955. She wrote the lyrics for “Johnny Guitar” in 1954. She wrote songs for the 1955 animated film Lady and the Tramp, for which she also voiced four characters. Her 1989 album Peggy Sings the Blues was nominated for a Grammy. She co-wrote more than 270 songs. Duke Ellington called her “The Queen”. The drink the Margarita was created in her honour. She was the inspiration for the Muppet Miss Piggy.

May 12, 1996: It was cold for mid-May but we went to the playground anyway

Thirty years ago today 

            On Sunday it was about 8 degrees and colder than normal for mid-May but my daughter and I probably went to the playground anyway.

Pearl Bailey

            On Sunday morning I memorized the second verse of L'anguille (The Eel) by Boris Vian. 

            I wasn’t quite able to memorize the fifth verse of “Il est Rigolo mon gigolo” (He’s a Giggle Oh My Gigolo) but I should have it nailed down tomorrow. 

            I weighed 88.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio for song practice and it stayed in tune most of the time. 

            Part of the way through song practice I had to have a bowel movement. The shit went down but blocked the passage somewhere out of sight and the water was climbing. I had to grab a salad bowl and scoop a lot of water into the sink to keep it from overflowing. A few days ago I lent my plunger to my upstairs neighbour David and so I had to wake him up to get it back. I plunged continuously for at least fifteen minutes and the handle wore the skin raw on a dime sized part of my palm. I had to put on my leather Range Rider gloves to keep plunging and finally the backup cleared. The last thing I needed was an overflow with the landlord already breathing down my neck. I had to finish song practice with mostly shortened songs in order to not fall too far behind on my schedule. 

            I cleaned the warm mist humidifier that’s been running this week and set the other one going. Fortunately it didn’t take long because I hadn’t used it much over the last week and so there was less crust to clear. 

            I weighed 89.75 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar with a glass of iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at the John and Richmond No Frills on the way back. I got cinnamon-raisin bread, kitchen garbage bags, and I was looking for a strawberry-rhubarb pie like they have at the Jameson and King No Frills but they didn’t have them there. I bought some apple crumble instead. 

            I weighed 89 kilos at 18:25. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:11. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity side 2 of a recording session at Mike’s place in Peter Fruchter’s garage of several takes of my song “Seven Shades of Blues” with me on vocal and guitar and Mike on drums. But my vocal came through only faintly because Audacity was only recording the left channel. There are two channels on my audio interface but usually one is enough to pick up both channels from the tapes I’ve been recording. I switched the line in to the right channel and it recorded my vocal but rather than trying to synchronize the two channels I think I need a one female to two male cable splitter so my line in divides into both channels on the interface. I’ll stop by Long and McQuade tomorrow to see if they have one. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, two sliced souvlakis, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 6, episode 7 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warm-up a lot of people want kisses from Carol and other members of the cast. 

            A boy asks Carol is she has pets and she says she has three dogs. 

            In the first skit, Max, the butler of former silent film star Nora Desmond answers the door and Howard Hastings wants to talk to Nora about doing a TV commercial. Max becomes violent because Miss Desmond would never stoop to doing a commercial. Then Nora comes down the stairs looking crazed and wearing clothes from the silent era. She asks if it’s Rudolph and Max puts his hand over Howard’s mouth and confirms that it’s Valentino. She says, “At last you’ve come to beg for my forgiveness”. She kisses him and then hits him, knocking him down and says, “It’s too late for that!” Then she thinks it’s her hairdresser and she kisses and hits him again. Finally she is told it’s about a television commercial but she doesn’t know what television is. It’s explained to her and Howard says she’ll be seen by millions. She says she’ll demand $1 million. Howard says they only have $250. Max says, “No one directs Madame but me!” Howard suggests makeup and she hits him again, this time knocking him all the way up the stairs. Howard shows Nora the script and the product is insecticide. Her leading man would be a bedbug named Billy. Howard has Billy in his briefcase and introduces him to Nora. Nora holds Billy between two fingers and maps out their future together, which ends in him falling for another woman so she crushes him. Max tells Howard that now he will be the bedbug. She accidentally stabs Howard with a sword, then Max walks into the blade. He pulls the sword out and is holding it when she accidentally walks into it and they all die. 

            Pearl Bailey sings “Where is Love?” by Lionel Bart from the 1960 musical Oliver. 

            Harvey Korman and Tim Conway play rowing slaves on a galley ship but Tim is elderly, weak, and has leprosy. Tim has spent twenty years carving a key from a cannonball and plans to escape. Harvey has done his time and will be free tomorrow and so he’s not interested in escaping. Tim is caught and thrown overboard but he’s still chained to Harvey and so Harvey is pulled over too. 

            Pearl Bailey plays a psychiatrist and Carol comes to see her. Pearl asks her to tell her problem and she will listen but Pearl never shuts up long enough to listen. Whenever she tries to talk Pearl interrupts to tell her she’s not talking. Carol finally says her problem is a man. Pearl begins to sing, the 1917 song “A Good Man is Hard to Find” by Eddie Green. The more she sings the more emotional she becomes until she lies down on the couch and she and Carol switch roles. 

            Mrs. Cleavinger is accused of murder and goes to see the lawyers Huntington and Bunny. But Huntington really is a rabbit played by Tim who often stops to eat his office plants. The humour is mostly in watching Tim play that part. 

            The rest of the show is a tribute to 20th Century Fox. 

            There’s a parody of The Sound of Music with Carol playing Julie’s part. She is introduced to the children and walks down the line singing “Do-Re-Mi” by Rodgers and Hammerstein until she gets to big handsome Hans and then sings, the 1923 song “You’ve Gotta See Mama Every Night” by Con Conrad and Billy Rose. 

            They do a spoof of the first Elvis movie Love Me Tender. Tim Conway plays Elvis as he comforts his dying brother. But he makes fun of Elvis not having a very enunciative speaking voice and it sounds like he’s not saying words at all. 

            Carol does a song and dance number in which she imitates Carmen Miranda. 

            There’s a parody of the movie “Anastasia”. Young women keep coming to the empress to prove they are the real Anastasia (who was probably murdered by Bolsheviks as a child). She rejects them until Pearl comes forward and the empress is sure she is her descendant. But then she tells her she will have to do chores and Pearl walks away. 

            Carol, Vicki, and Pearl sing the 1911 song “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” by Irving Berlin. Pearl does a solo dance as well. 

            As a young woman Pearl Bailey toured Pennsylvania mining towns as a dancer. She made her stage singing debut at 15. Then she became a vaudeville singer. In 1941 she entertained the US troops with the USO. She made her Broadway debut in St Louis Woman in 1946. Her film debut was in Variety Girl in 1947. She won a Tony for her performance in the all black version of Hello Dolly. She had a top ten hit with “Takes Two to Tango” in 1952. She co-starred in The Fox and the Hound, She won an Emmy for her performance in Cindy Eller. She did 23 performances on the Ed Sullivan Show. She co-starred in Carmen Jones, Isn’t It Romantic, That Certain Feeling, St. Louis Blues, All the Fine Young Cannibals, and Norman is that You? She did commercials for Duncan Heins commercials. She was a close friend of Joan Crawford and sang at her funeral. She was appointed a Special Ambassador to the United Nations by Gerald Ford. She wrote the books The Raw Pearl, Talking to Myself, Pearl’s Kitchen, Hurry Up America and Spit, Duey’s Tale, and Between You and Me.

May 11, 1996: It was a cold and rainy day

Thirty years ago today 

            On Saturday it was cold and rainy. Nancy dropped our daughter off at my place and she spent the weekend with me.

Larry Gelman

            On Saturday morning I memorized the first verse of L'anguille (The Eel) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the fourth verse of “Il est Rigolo mon gigolo” (He’s a Giggle Oh My Gigolo). There are only two verses left to learn. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since April 17. 

            I played my Martin acoustic for song practice for the last of two sessions and it went out of tune during every song. Tomorrow I begin a four session stretch of playing my electrics. 

            Around midday I rode down to No Frills. Only three bags of green grapes were firm enough. I bought two bags of expensive cherries, some bananas, a pack of two small T-bone steaks, a pack of chicken drumsticks, some mouthwash, a box of saltines, honey, olive oil, natural peanut butter, a box of Ziploc sandwich bags, high acid vinegar, a jug of iced tea, a jug of orange juice, two containers of skyr, and two bags of Miss Vickie’s chips. My total was $177.32 and I said, “Whoa!” I forgot to buy pie, cinnamon-raisin bread, and kitchen bags. 

            I weighed 89.6 kilos at 14:40. I had saltines with peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar with a glass of iced tea. 

            I took a siesta and got up at 17:00. By the time I was ready to go it was too late for a short bike ride. 

            I walked over to the LCBO and bought a six-pack of Creemore. 

            I weighed 89.35 kilos at 17:25. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:24. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity the rest of the Christian and the Lions concert at Fat Albert’s with Brian Haddon as the only Lion. The tape only captured the end of my song “Seven Shades of Blues”. I started on the first tape of my sessions at Mike’s recording studio in Peter Fruchter’s garage. The first part of side 1 is just a drum track for “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” and “Seven Shades of Blues”. Later it’s Mike’s drums and my guitar for “Seven Shades of Blues” with the vocals very faint. Tomorrow I’ll do side 2. 

            My left ear felt plugged so I tried to flush it but nothing came out. In fact it felt more plugged with water so I had to flush it again. I’m seeing my doctor soon for my annual physical and I’ll get him to flush it. 

            I grilled eight souvlaki and cut up two of them to put on a multigrain sandwich bread slice pizza with cherry tomato sauce, tomato pesto, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 5, episode 24 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the Moon is in the audience. Carol asks him if they’ll be sending women into space. He answers, “If they qualify”. 

            One of the ushers is leaving and wants a goodbye kiss from Carol. She asks why he’s leaving and he says he needs to get a real job. 

            This is the final show of the season and they decided to do one continuous story. It’s a parody of the 1945 film The Dolly Sisters starring Betty Grable and June Haver, based on the real story of twin sisters Jenny and Rose Dolly who were vaudeville superstars from around 1910 to 1925. Our story begins in 1912 in New York City. At the Café Budapest the crowd is impatient for the show and the proprietor Miklos is a nervous wreck. The opening act the Bobty Twins just quit. But by coincidence the Doily twins walk in to get out of the cold. They just arrived from Hungary and are looking for work. They expected at best to be waiting tables but they are put onto the stage. They improvise a song about the origin of Budapest and they are a big hit. Harry Handsome the MC wants them to be his backup singers. Bernie the promoter says nobody wants trios anymore and so they’ll have to be a duo. Jenny can’t leave Rose and so Harry walks. The twins become stars and don’t see Harry for years until they drop into a piano bar where he is playing. Jenny puts up the money for Harry to have a big show. Jenny and Harry decide to get married but WWI has just begun and so Harry goes off to fight. He takes his piano into the trenches. The Doily Sisters are entertaining the troops and just happen to visit Harry’s trench. Harry gets a chance to lead the charge and be a hero but his superiors ask Jenny and Rose to lead the charge and they win the war. Rose marries Bernie and Jenny develops a gambling problem (in real life Jenny won millions from gambling). Jenny has a car accident and gets amnesia. Harry has finally become a successful nightclub performer. The club is missing a waitress and Jenny happens to walk in where she’s hired even though she can’t remember what’s a waitress. She hears Harry singing his song and it all comes back to her. Harry asks her to marry him. Suddenly Rose is also a waitress there and we hear that Bernie left her. Jenny asks Harry to marry both of them. As usual the season finale ends with the Charwoman singing the extended theme song and then walking out of the theatre. 

            Miklos was played by Larry Gelman, who played Dr. Bernie Tupperman on The Bob Newhart Show. He played Vinnie on the Odd Couple. He was nominated for an Emmy for his guest role on Barney Miller. He co-starred in the 1976 erotic adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. He co-starred in Chatterbox (about a talking vagina).