April 4, 1996: Brian and I busked on Bloor

Thirty years ago today 

            On Wednesday Brian Haddon and I busked on Bloor, went for lunch, busked some more and then performed on the Fat Albert’s open stage.

Inga Neilsen

            On Thursday morning I started applying Michel Fedrizzi’s melody to the full text of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian, since Fedrizzi only used about a third of the poem. I’ve done the first four verses and the first chorus. 

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I’ve almost finished synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I should have it finished tomorrow. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before breakfast. I had to skip song practice because I had an appointment with my gastroenterologist at Mount Sinai. 

            I didn’t have to wait long before I was called by the nurse. She said that my CT scan wasn’t as clear as it should have been because of inadequate preparation on my part. I guess I should have started taking the Pico Salax in the morning instead the early afternoon. But I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned and I didn’t want to start shitting in the hygienist’s chair. Nonetheless they saw it well enough to tell that there was no evidence of cancer. Dr. Croitoru came in and told me they found nothing to be concerned about and even the polyp they removed during my colonoscopy was only an inflammatory polyp, which means it’s not the kind that develops into cancer. They removed it for analysis but if I had never gotten the colonoscopy it wouldn’t have mattered. 

            I weighed 86.9 kilos at 13:20, which is the lightest I’ve been in the early afternoon since December 16. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and on the way back stopped at Freshco where the grapes were all too soft so I didn't buy any. I got two packs of raspberries, some bananas, bacon, hot Genoa salami, half a ham, an Atlantic salmon fillet, eggs, two packs of Full City Dark coffee, a box of spoon sized shredded wheat, and a jar of salsa. 

            I weighed 88.4 kilos at 16:25, the same as last Thursday evening. 

            A few days ago I posted a poem on Facebook and my friend Nick Cushing ran it through an AI program called Suno to make it into a song. I already wrote a melody for it but it’s interesting to hear it done by a robot folksinger. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:52. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then exported to my hard drive various recordings of my band Christian and the Lions and sometimes just me performing at Fat Albert’s. We did “Angeline” a couple of times, “Megaphor” at least twice, “I Saw My Reflection in an Open Wound”, “Wives of the Prophets”, and “Spool of the Moon”. I sang a couple of Leonard Cohen covers as well. 

            I deleted several images from my hard drive. 

            I heated most of the rest of the chili I made a few days ago and had it on top of oven fries while watching season 2, episode 14 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            A woman in the audience asks if she can give Lyle Waggoner a hug. He hugs her then asks her name and she says, “Tiffany Waggoner”. He asks, “Are we related?” and she says, “I’m your sister”.

            Tim Conway’s wife, mother and mother in law were in the audience and either nervously of intentionally he referred to both older women as his mothers in law. 

            The VIP interview is with fried chicken magnate Colonel Flanders. He says he’s produced a chicken with eight legs but could never catch it. He bred another chicken that was two meters tall but it kept putting him in the bucket. 

            Tim Conway does a stand-up routine but is afraid the audience will laugh at him and so he takes the microphone into the dressing room and does it from there. Then he keeps calling Carol up mid-joke to ask her how the audience is reacting. In the end he does a performance of “Strangers in the Night” without singing. 

            The “Carol and Sis” sketch has Chrissie out on a date with an older guy who is about to leave for the Viet Nam War. It’s after 1:00 but Chrissie hasn’t gotten back yet. Carol is worried and keeps waking Roger up. Chrissie comes home and worries Carol more when she tells her they didn’t go to the movie but went to his place to listen to the stereo. She says they might get married when he gets back. Roger is not worried by any of this until Chrissie says that when they get married they’ll move in with them. 

            Vicki does a song and dance with the Ernie Flatt dancers, singing “American Boys” by Tony Hatch and Jackie Trent, which was a minor hit for Petula Clark.

            Carol and Tim play a couple about to get married who have decided to paint their apartment themselves and save $200, which would be $2000 now. But they not only make a mess but continuously injure one another in slapstick moments. Carol gets a bucket stuck on her head and so they have to go to the hospital. Carol doesn’t want to be seen that way so Tim puts her wedding veil over the bucket.

            There’s a parody of The Night They Raided Minsky’s. Tim Conway does a magic act and thinks the crowd is going wild over it but there is a burlesque dancer performing behind him. 

            Harvey is a con man and Vicki is his girl. He sells Tim Conway a magic carnation that will make Vicki kiss him. He buys it but she slaps his face. Harvey tells him he’s doing it wrong and sells the carnation to him twice more with the same result. 

            The burlesque dancers can’t do their act because the star Autumn Levy keeps fainting. Carol is told she has to fill her place, even though she’s not a dancer, especially not a burlesque dancer. Harvey and the dancers sing "Take Ten Terrific Girls (but only nine costumes)" by Charles Strouse and Lee Adams from The Night They Raided Minsky’s. Carol is wearing a nude coloured body suit so she looks somewhat naked. 

            Autumn Levy was played by Inga Neilsen, who was tall and awkward as a child and so she began taking ballet lessons at the American School of Dance to learn poise. She showed a natural talent for dance and earned a scholarship. She made her film debut in Scaramouche at the age of 12. She became a showgirl in Vegas and was named Showgirl of the Year four times. She was often cast in movies and TV shows for much shorter comedians to ogle. She played Gymnasia in A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum. She appeared many times on The Carol Burnett Show from 1969 to 1973 to serve as a comical contrast to the plainness that was part of Carol’s schtick.

April 3, 1996: I hosted my open stage as always at the Gladstone Hotel

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday evening as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage in the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel.

Marilyn Horne

            On Wednesday morning I finished working out the chords for Michel Fedrizzi’s adaptation of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. But the original text is almost three times longer and so now I want to apply that melody to the full poem. 

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I continued synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I’m about five-sixths of the way through the song so I might have it finished tomorrow. 

            I weighed 87.25 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the third of four sessions and it went out of tune during all but one song. 

            I finished painting the second coat of “blue bliss” on the bathroom door frame. I don’t think it will need a third coat. On Friday I’ll put the second coat on the door. 

            I weighed 88.55 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on the way back to buy seven bags of red grapes. I did a price match with No Frills at $3.90 a kilo. Priscilla the cashier tipped me that the grapes at the Real Canadian Super Store will be cheap starting tomorrow and so I can do another price match then. 

            I weighed 87.45 kilos at 18:35. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:15. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity a performance of Christian and the Lions at Fat Albert’s of my songs “Seven Veils of Armour” and “I Saw My Reflection in an Open Wound” featuring Yehudah Cullman on cello, Tom Smarda on Stratocaster and Steve Lowe on acoustic guitar. There are also two solo performances by Tom of his songs “You’re Always Yourself in Your Head” and “This is My Prayer”. This digitization came through clean, though I had to first shut down Bit Torrent so it wasn’t a memory drain on Audacity. Tomorrow I’ll record side 2. 

            I created folders for some photos in my SSD and changed the names of several images in my hard drive. 

            I heated a bag of frozen samosas and had them with sweet chili sauce and a glass of Creemore while watching season 2, episode 12 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warm-up Carol says she brushes her teeth six times a day and hasn’t had a cavity in ten years. 

            A woman asks about the two weapons on stage. Carol tells her they are shotgun mics so , “You can relax and uncross your legs”. 

            In the first sketch Harvey Korman plays the president of the US in a kind of video greeting card with his wife, two daughters, and son in law. They are trying so hard to look authentic that they come across as fake. To try to show they aren’t racist they introduce their maid Minerva. 

            Eileen Farrell sings “Kiss Him Now” by Jerry Herman from the musical Dear World. 

            In the second skit Carol plays a journalist who’s come to interview Hugh Handsome the movie star. She is cool and aloof until she meets him and then she continuously faints during the interview. He says he has the same effect on himself and swooned twice earlier while shaving. After she leaves he can get comfortable. He goes behind a screen, removes his elevator shoes, the padding, his hairpiece, and the girdle. He comes from behind the screen and he’s Bob Hope. Carol tells everyone to watch Bob’s special on Thursday night and Bob says, “And uncross your legs”. 

            Marilyn Horne sings Urbain's aria ("Non, non, non") from Giacomo Meyerbeer's Les Huguenots. 

            Carol, Eileen, and Marilyn play an operatic version of The Three Little Pigs (but not made up to look like pigs) while Harvey plays the wolf also as human and more like a silent movie villain. 

            Carol, Eileen, and Marilyn (done up to look a lot like Mae West in She Done Him Wrong) sing “Hey Big Spender” by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields from the musical Sweet Charity. Then the whole cast and the guests sing “What Child is This?” by William Chatterton Dix to the tune of “Greensleeves”; “Here We Come a Wassailing”; “Good King Wenceslas” by John Mason Neale; “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen”; and “Angels We Have Heard On High” by James Chadwick. 

            Marilyn Horne at the age of 13 joined the Roger Wagner Chorale. In high school she was part of the St. Luke’s Episcopal Church Choir of Long Beach, which often performed in Hollywood films. In 1954 at the age of 20 she dubbed Dorothy Dandridge’s singing voice in Carmen Jones. Igor Stravinsky invited her to perform at the 1956 Venice Festival. She sang with the Gelsenkirchen Opera for three years. She debuted at the Royal Opera House in 1964 and La Scala in 1969 where she received a seven minute mid-act ovation. She debuted at The Met in 1970. She sang “Simple Gifts” at Bill Clinton’s inauguration. She teaches voice at the Music Academy of the West.

April 2, 1996: I don't remember where I worked but I know I did a good job

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday I probably posed for drawings, paintings or both at one or more schools or art clubs. I don't remember but I know I did a good job. 

Garry Moore

            On Tuesday morning I worked out the chords for the third and fourth verses and the second chorus of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian.

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I continued synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I was about three-quarters of the way through the song. 

            I weighed 87.45 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice and it went out of tune during all but two songs. 

            Around midday I painted a second coat of “blue bliss” on the outer edges of my bathroom door frame. Tomorrow I’ll probably finish the second coat on the whole frame. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.95 kilos at 18:10. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:57. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through speaker to microphone to audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of the rehearsal tape that was distorted when I tried recording directly with a line from the tape player to my audio interface. This way it worked. Tomorrow I’ll go back to line-in and try digitizing a cassette containing several of Christian and the Lions performances at Fat Albert’s. 

            I deleted several more images from my hard drive. 

            I heated the chili I made a couple of days ago and had some on top of oven fries while watching season 2, episode 9 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warm-up Garry Moore is asked if he’ll do another variety show. He says he hopes not because it’s too much work. He’d much rather visit. He says he’s been in show business since 1935. 

            In the first sketch Carol and Harvey play the elderly married couple Mollie and Bert again. They are visited by Martha and Ginny played by Garry Moore and Durward Kirby. 

            Vicki Lawrence and Lyle Waggoner play guitar and sing “Call Me” by Tony Hatch. I didn’t know Lyle could sing or play. 

            Gary plays the host of a news show that is paying tribute to a renowned humanitarian named Dr. Henry Spencer. President Nixon, President De Gaulle, and Sammy Davis Jr. have all paid homage to him. Now Princess Marianne of Morovia will drink a toast to Spencer. Her royal highness is played by Carol. But during the first take the wine glass is blocking the princess’s face so she has to do another. This time she hiccups and has to do one more take. But by then she’s getting tipsy and the takes are repeated until she falls backwards unconscious. 

            Garry looks at the latest trends in shows and commercials. He says recent bra commercials have been quite uplifting. But he says integration will be very prominent. They show a black Blondie. There’s a horrible depiction by Carol of an indigenous mother with broken English like Tonto. She tells her son that his father was shot and killed at Little Big Horn, which is a bar on 3rd Avenue. The latest game show is called Shoplift, in which contestants compete to see who can steal the most from supermarkets. 

            Carol and Durward do a skit in which she is a secretary taking dictation about eliminating safety hazards. Her boss first accidentally puts his cigarette out on the back of her hand. Then he wacks her on the back of the neck with a pointer. By the end she is injured all over her body and is finally knocked out the window by an opening door. 

            The head dancer on the show is Don Crichton. Carol shows a clip of him dancing with Julie Andrews in the movie Star. Then Don does a live performance. 

            Garry Moore dropped out of high school before graduation and started in radio in 1937. From 1943 to 1947 he co-starred on the Durante-Moore radio show. This was followed by his own radio show. He hosted I’ve Got a Secret for the first decade of the show. He starred in The Garry Moore Show on television from 1958 to 1964. He was the subject of the first demonstration of hypnosis on US television. He was the host of To Tell the Truth from 1969 to 1977. He released several comedy albums. He wrote a humour column for the Daily Packet called “Mumble Mumble”. His columns were collected into a book of the same name.

April 1, 1996: My daughter and I went to the playground

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday it was a relatively nice day and so my daughter and I went to the playground for a while before I took her back to her mother’s place in Scarborough.