April 3, 1996: I hosted my open stage as always at the Gladstone Hotel

Thirty years ago today

            On Tuesday evening as always I hosted my Orgasmic Alphabet Orgy writers open stage in the Art Bar of the Gladstone Hotel.

Marilyn Horne

            On Wednesday morning I finished working out the chords for Michel Fedrizzi’s adaptation of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. But the original text is almost three times longer and so now I want to apply that melody to the full poem. 

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I continued synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I’m about five-sixths of the way through the song so I might have it finished tomorrow. 

            I weighed 87.25 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice for the third of four sessions and it went out of tune during all but one song. 

            I finished painting the second coat of “blue bliss” on the bathroom door frame. I don’t think it will need a third coat. On Friday I’ll put the second coat on the door. 

            I weighed 88.55 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on the way back to buy seven bags of red grapes. I did a price match with No Frills at $3.90 a kilo. Priscilla the cashier tipped me that the grapes at the Real Canadian Super Store will be cheap starting tomorrow and so I can do another price match then. 

            I weighed 87.45 kilos at 18:35. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:15. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity a performance of Christian and the Lions at Fat Albert’s of my songs “Seven Veils of Armour” and “I Saw My Reflection in an Open Wound” featuring Yehudah Cullman on cello, Tom Smarda on Stratocaster and Steve Lowe on acoustic guitar. There are also two solo performances by Tom of his songs “You’re Always Yourself in Your Head” and “This is My Prayer”. This digitization came through clean, though I had to first shut down Bit Torrent so it wasn’t a memory drain on Audacity. Tomorrow I’ll record side 2. 

            I created folders for some photos in my SSD and changed the names of several images in my hard drive. 

            I heated a bag of frozen samosas and had them with sweet chili sauce and a glass of Creemore while watching season 2, episode 12 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warm-up Carol says she brushes her teeth six times a day and hasn’t had a cavity in ten years. 

            A woman asks about the two weapons on stage. Carol tells her they are shotgun mics so , “You can relax and uncross your legs”. 

            In the first sketch Harvey Korman plays the president of the US in a kind of video greeting card with his wife, two daughters, and son in law. They are trying so hard to look authentic that they come across as fake. To try to show they aren’t racist they introduce their maid Minerva. 

            Eileen Farrell sings “Kiss Him Now” by Jerry Herman from the musical Dear World. 

            In the second skit Carol plays a journalist who’s come to interview Hugh Handsome the movie star. She is cool and aloof until she meets him and then she continuously faints during the interview. He says he has the same effect on himself and swooned twice earlier while shaving. After she leaves he can get comfortable. He goes behind a screen, removes his elevator shoes, the padding, his hairpiece, and the girdle. He comes from behind the screen and he’s Bob Hope. Carol tells everyone to watch Bob’s special on Thursday night and Bob says, “And uncross your legs”. 

            Marilyn Horne sings Urbain's aria ("Non, non, non") from Giacomo Meyerbeer's Les Huguenots. 

            Carol, Eileen, and Marilyn play an operatic version of The Three Little Pigs (but not made up to look like pigs) while Harvey plays the wolf also as human and more like a silent movie villain. 

            Carol, Eileen, and Marilyn (done up to look a lot like Mae West in She Done Him Wrong) sing “Hey Big Spender” by Cy Coleman and Dorothy Fields from the musical Sweet Charity. Then the whole cast and the guests sing “What Child is This?” by William Chatterton Dix to the tune of “Greensleeves”; “Here We Come a Wassailing”; “Good King Wenceslas” by John Mason Neale; “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen”; and “Angels We Have Heard On High” by James Chadwick. 

            Marilyn Horne at the age of 13 joined the Roger Wagner Chorale. In high school she was part of the St. Luke’s Episcopal Church Choir of Long Beach, which often performed in Hollywood films. In 1954 at the age of 20 she dubbed Dorothy Dandridge’s singing voice in Carmen Jones. Igor Stravinsky invited her to perform at the 1956 Venice Festival. She sang with the Gelsenkirchen Opera for three years. She debuted at the Royal Opera House in 1964 and La Scala in 1969 where she received a seven minute mid-act ovation. She debuted at The Met in 1970. She sang “Simple Gifts” at Bill Clinton’s inauguration. She teaches voice at the Music Academy of the West.

April 2, 1996: I don't remember where I worked but I know I did a good job

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday I probably posed for drawings, paintings or both at one or more schools or art clubs. I don't remember but I know I did a good job. 

Garry Moore

            On Tuesday morning I worked out the chords for the third and fourth verses and the second chorus of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian.

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I continued synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I was about three-quarters of the way through the song. 

            I weighed 87.45 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice and it went out of tune during all but two songs. 

            Around midday I painted a second coat of “blue bliss” on the outer edges of my bathroom door frame. Tomorrow I’ll probably finish the second coat on the whole frame. 

            I weighed 88.3 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.95 kilos at 18:10. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:57. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through speaker to microphone to audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of the rehearsal tape that was distorted when I tried recording directly with a line from the tape player to my audio interface. This way it worked. Tomorrow I’ll go back to line-in and try digitizing a cassette containing several of Christian and the Lions performances at Fat Albert’s. 

            I deleted several more images from my hard drive. 

            I heated the chili I made a couple of days ago and had some on top of oven fries while watching season 2, episode 9 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warm-up Garry Moore is asked if he’ll do another variety show. He says he hopes not because it’s too much work. He’d much rather visit. He says he’s been in show business since 1935. 

            In the first sketch Carol and Harvey play the elderly married couple Mollie and Bert again. They are visited by Martha and Ginny played by Garry Moore and Durward Kirby. 

            Vicki Lawrence and Lyle Waggoner play guitar and sing “Call Me” by Tony Hatch. I didn’t know Lyle could sing or play. 

            Gary plays the host of a news show that is paying tribute to a renowned humanitarian named Dr. Henry Spencer. President Nixon, President De Gaulle, and Sammy Davis Jr. have all paid homage to him. Now Princess Marianne of Morovia will drink a toast to Spencer. Her royal highness is played by Carol. But during the first take the wine glass is blocking the princess’s face so she has to do another. This time she hiccups and has to do one more take. But by then she’s getting tipsy and the takes are repeated until she falls backwards unconscious. 

            Garry looks at the latest trends in shows and commercials. He says recent bra commercials have been quite uplifting. But he says integration will be very prominent. They show a black Blondie. There’s a horrible depiction by Carol of an indigenous mother with broken English like Tonto. She tells her son that his father was shot and killed at Little Big Horn, which is a bar on 3rd Avenue. The latest game show is called Shoplift, in which contestants compete to see who can steal the most from supermarkets. 

            Carol and Durward do a skit in which she is a secretary taking dictation about eliminating safety hazards. Her boss first accidentally puts his cigarette out on the back of her hand. Then he wacks her on the back of the neck with a pointer. By the end she is injured all over her body and is finally knocked out the window by an opening door. 

            The head dancer on the show is Don Crichton. Carol shows a clip of him dancing with Julie Andrews in the movie Star. Then Don does a live performance. 

            Garry Moore dropped out of high school before graduation and started in radio in 1937. From 1943 to 1947 he co-starred on the Durante-Moore radio show. This was followed by his own radio show. He hosted I’ve Got a Secret for the first decade of the show. He starred in The Garry Moore Show on television from 1958 to 1964. He was the subject of the first demonstration of hypnosis on US television. He was the host of To Tell the Truth from 1969 to 1977. He released several comedy albums. He wrote a humour column for the Daily Packet called “Mumble Mumble”. His columns were collected into a book of the same name.

April 1, 1996: My daughter and I went to the playground

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday it was a relatively nice day and so my daughter and I went to the playground for a while before I took her back to her mother’s place in Scarborough.

Mel Tormé

            On Monday morning I finished working out the chords for the first chorus of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            In my “Les millionaires” Movie Maker project I continued synchronizing the images in my photo-video with the rhythm and the meaning of the lyrics. I was about two-thirds of the way through the song. 

            I weighed 87.1 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since March 21. 

            I played my Martin acoustic during song practice and it went out of tune during all but two of the songs. 

            I created some folders for photos in my SSD and deleted several images from my hard drive.

            I weighed 88.45 kilos before lunch. I had guacamole, potato chips and a glass of Garden Cocktail. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown. At Yonge and Bloor a cyclist came up beside me and said, “A joke to share: Premier Ford rides his bike to the library.” I guess the joke was that both situations are unlikely. It was just weird how he introduced the joke with “A joke to share” like he was an alien who wasn’t fully aware of how human beings converse. 

            At Yonge and Dundas a cop car was at the front of the other cars waiting at the light. I moved up beside and ahead of the cop car and then rode on. But the cops pulled up beside me at around Yonge and Shooter. The driver said I should wait behind the cars and not go up beside them. I argued I was pretty sure I didn’t hold him back. I don’t think I was breaking the law but he just had a pet peeve and decided to single me out to get it off his chest. 

            I weighed 87.75 kilos at 17:55. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:51. 

            I played the old rehearsal cassette tape I tried a few days ago, this time with the microphone against the right speaker and plugged into my audio interface and recorded it in Audacity this time using Windows Direct Sound and it came through with less distortion than when I used WASAPI. Tomorrow I’ll digitize side 2. 

            I deleted several more images from my hard drive. 

            I heated some oven fries, warmed up the chili that I made yesterday and had them together while watching season 2, episode 7 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            Carol calls Don Rickles “Mr. Warmth” and then rolls her eyes.

            In the first sketch Carol and Nanette Fabray play close to term pregnant women at the doctor’s office. Their old doctor Zaslow is 93 and they are faithful to him until they meet his handsome young assistant. They lie to Zaslow that there is an emergency at the hospital, so they can be with the young doctor. 

            Mel Tormé sings “Take a Letter Miss Jones”, which I think he wrote.

            In the second sketch Don Rickles plays a disgruntled shoe salesman who has been threatened with firing if he doesn’t stop insulting the customers. He tries very hard to control himself but Nanette Fabray plays a very difficult customer and he finally blows up at her. Then he starts insulting his boss played by Harvey Korman who cracks up at Don’s ad libs. 

            The rest of the show is a Tin Pan Alley story set in the first quarter of the 20th Century. Don Rickles plays music publisher Harry Familiar. Two songwriters who don’t know each other come to sell their songs to Harry. One is Melvin Potts and the other is Phoebe Pannz. Melvin sings “Happy happy happy that’s what I am” and Harry tells him to get out. Phoebe sings “When we’re together don’t mind the weather. Never blue when I’m with you. When you are near me you always cheer me” then she starts crying. Melvin comes back because he forgot his music. Then they combine their songs, “Happy when we’re together. Happy don’t mind the weather. Happy never blue. That’s what I am when I’m with you”. Harry hears this and says it’s a hit. Phoebe and Melvin become the team of Potts and Pannz. Phoebe falls in love with Melvin. They write “Purple Passion” for Broadway star Blanche Du Kay. Blanche does a song and dance to “Listen to your Mama” and she runs off with Melvin. Phoebe gets drunk and sings “I’m Funny That Way” which seems to be an adaptation of “He’s Funny That Way” by Neil Moret and Richard Whiting”. Phoebe becomes a star while both Melvin and Blanche fall from grace because Melvin can’t write songs without Phoebe. Years later Phoebe sees Melvin begging in the snow and thinks it might be him but decides it isn’t and walks away, stepping on and crushing his ukelele as she goes. 

            Mel Tormé started singing professionally at the age of 4 with the Coon-Sanders Orchestra. From the age of 8 to 16 he acted on the radio programs The Romance of Helen Trent and Jack Armstrong the All American Boy. At the age of 16 he published his first song, “Lament to Love” and it was a hit for Harry James. As a teenager he was the singer and drummer for Chico Marx’s band. He gained the nickname “The Velvet Fog” because of the quality of his singing voice. His other nicknames were “Gauze Jaws”, “Mr. Butterscotch”, and “The Blue Fox”. His vocal style was influenced by Ella Fitzgerald. He formed the vocal group The Mel-Tones and they had several hits. They were an influence on Manhattan Transfer. He had a number 1 hit with “Careless Hands” in 1949. He gained a reputation as a great music arranger. He wrote the music for “The Christmas Song” and didn’t consider it to be great. He won two jazz vocalist Grammy Awards. He wrote over 250 songs. He made his film debut in Higher and Higher in 1944. He co-starred in Good News and became a teen idol. He co-starred in Walk Like a Dragon, Pardon My Rhythm, Resisting Enemy Interrogation, Let’s Go Steady, The Big Operator, and Girls Town. He starred in Land of No Return. He hosted TV’s Top Tunes in 1951. He starred in The Mel Tormé Show from 1951 to 1952. He guest starred nine times on Night Court. He did Mountain Dew commercials. He wrote a negative biography of Judy Garland based on his experience as the musical director of her variety show and another about his friend the drummer Buddy Rich. He published the novel Wynner in 1978. He called Rock and Roll “Three chord manure”. Ethel Waters said he was the only white man who sang with the soul of a black man.

March 31, 1996: It was raining

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I picked up my daughter in Scarborough and brought her to my place to spend the weekend. It was raining and so we spent the day inside.