February 13, 1995: We got fed at the Rivoli but my vegetarian guitarist accidentally ate shrimp

Thirty years ago today 

            On Monday I picked up Tom Smarda’s amp at around 16:15 and headed for the Rivoli. Arjan showed up just when I did. We hung around while Peter Gault and his wife rehearsed. We started getting set up at around 18:00. We had problems being heard because it was a small concert room and the sound person kept my voice monitor down. We got free pad Thai and beer. Steve Lowe, my vegetarian guitarist accidentally ate shrimp. We did a good show. Twelve people came to see us, including Mike Copping, Raven and Ejawsay, as well as a handful of strangers that stuck around. Mike, Ejawsay, Raven and I went for coffee afterwards.

Jody Gilbert

            On Tuesday morning I revised my translation of the first verse and part of the second of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. 

            I finished working out the chords to “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg and ran through singing and playing it in French. I started revising my translation and I’ll probably have the song uploaded to my Christian’s Translation blog tomorrow. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice for the last of two sessions. Tomorrow I’ll begin a two session stretch of played my Kramer electric guitar. 

            I weighed 86.2 kilos before breakfast, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since February 2. 

            At around midday I shut down my old warm mist humidifier and set up the new one. Then I cleaned the old one for the first time since the near disaster of two weeks ago when it shut itself down and I had to spend two days cleaning it. This time it was easier to clean since it had only been a week but it wasn’t as easy to clean as the new one. I think that’s because I had to work so hard two weeks before getting the rock hard accumulation off that it probably removed some of the protective surface of the heating unit. 

            I weighed 86.45 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. I didn’t need to use my flashers because I got home before it was dark. 

            I weighed 86.75 kilos at 18:11. That’s the most I’ve tipped the scale in the evening since January 13. 

            Because my haircut, my lunch date with Brian and my long siesta yesterday cut severely into my normal schedule, I was behind on my journal. I worked on getting caught up before dinner.

            I marinated three chicken legs with olive oil, salt, orange juice and cumin. I grilled them in the oven and had one with a potato and gravy while watching season 2, episode 58 of Batman. 

            This story follows the cliffhanger from the previous one. Robin has been tied to a spinning platform above a giant mobile consisting of rotating razor sharp palate knives that are lowering towards him. Bruce Wayne is tied to a chair nearby, with his hands to the back and his feet to the front legs. He flips the chair forward so he is on his knees and then walks on his knees towards the governor of the mobile, which he blocks with his body to stop its motion. Robin works himself loose, disengages one of the sharp palate knives and sets himself and Bruce free. When Joker comes to check if Robin is dead yet he sees that Bruce and Robin are free. He tells his men to attack and runs away. But Bruce and Robin accurately throw palate knives at Joker’s henchmen to pin them to the wall by their clothing. They fight the rest of them and win. Bruce says he let himself be knocked around a bit more than Batman would have but it didn’t look any different to me. Even though Baby Jane Towser has recently been one of Joker’s hostages he charms her into helping him by telling her she is his muse. Robin and Bruce burst in to arrest Joker but Jane reminds them that he hasn’t stolen anything yet. She says that as for the kidnapping she won’t press charges and says that the other hostages won’t either because they are social climbers and with her wealth she can stop them from reaching the top. Mrs. Putney and the others affirm that they won’t press charges either. Bruce surprises Robin by saying he also won’t press charges. Jane says she now has her very own artist to play with and she and Joker leave. Bruce explains that he didn’t press charges because he and Robin have been seen together too much as it is and it might draw associations between him and Batman. Jane takes Joker to her father’s mansion where he is served a royal feast on their priceless antique table. She says she wants to inspire a great work of art. Suddenly the Joker sweeps everything off the table and proceeds to dump whole cans of paint on top of it. Then he has his men come in with axes and break the table into pieces. Jane protests but Joker convinces her that each broken part will be a masterpiece. He says they will go to the museum tonight and replace the old relics that are on the walls now with his true works of art. Joker says he knows that Jane’s father has a founder’s key to the Towser wing of the museum. Meanwhile in the Batcave Alfred has finished a series of paintings. That night in the museum Joker has replaced all the masterpieces with his own art. He says he’s going to take the old paintings to the city dump to be burned but really his intention all along has been to steal those valuable paintings. He moves them to his old studio and once again ties Jane up. He calls Commissioner Gordon to tell him the city needs to pay him $10 million or he'll burn the entire Renaissance collection. But then Joker looks at the paintings he stole and sees they are childlike pieces that are all signed “Alfred”. Batman and Robin arrive and Joker tries to run but he gets knocked around by Batman and Robin until his men arrive. Joker escapes with Jane as a hostage and heads for Wayne Manor. Batman deduces that’s where Joker will go and follows. Joker and Jane arrive at Wayne Manor and Joker demands to have access to Bruce’s wall safe. Alfred says it is behind the painting above the fireplace but it isn’t. Alfred grabs a fireplace poker and disarms Joker. Joker grabs another poker and he and Alfred fence but Alfred is superior in that competition and disarms him again. Joker runs into the den and accidentally opens the secret doorway to the Bat poles. Alfred has removed the signs reading “Batpoles to Batcave” because he has been painting. Joker slides down a pole to escape but Alfred pushes the “up” button and sends Joker up and down the shaft several times without allowing him to make it to the Batcave. He is already willing to surrender but Alfred keeps him going up and down for his and Batman’s amusement. Later, Alfred’s childlike paintings are hanging in the gallery where this story began. 

            Mrs. Putney was played by Jody Gilbert, who had her own musical show on local radio when she was still in high school. In her late teens she toured in musical comedies and performed in summer stock but couldn’t get to Broadway because of her body weight. She gave up on theatre when she discovered that Hollywood would pay for a woman of her size for the sake of comedy. Her film debut was in Confession in 1939. In 1940 she played a waiter in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break and has a short but memorable verbal battle with W.C. Fields. She co-starred in the hit radio program Life With Luigi, which also transitioned to TV. She appeared as Greta Garbo’s roommate in Ninotchka. In 1952 someone informed the House Committee on Un-American Activities that Jody had been a member of the Communist party. When they subpoenaed her she knew her career was over anyway and so she decided to make a mockery of the proceedings. She rambled and spent a long time not answering the first question. When asked what major movies she had been she wanted the interviewer to define what he meant by major. The interviewer was not amused but the audience was laughing. When asked if she had been a member of the communist party instead of pleading the fifth amendment she pleaded the fifth commandment about honouring your mother and father but said that by “father” she meant the founding fathers. She was honouring them by protecting the rights they had given her. She was told to leave and the result was that she was out of work in Hollywood for the next twelve years. She didn’t work on television again until 1965 and her next film role was in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in 1969. She was averaging one TV appearance a year in the 70s when she had a major car accident and eventually died from her injuries.

February 12, 1995: My daughter played on the library computer

Thirty years ago today 

            On Sunday I went to meet my daughter and Nancy at the North York Winter Carnival. There was a kids music show going on. We went to the library and my daughter played on the computers after Nancy left. We wandered and played and used up the hearts that Nancy bought. Then we met Nancy at Warden and Finch where I froze my ass off.

Duke Fishman

            On Monday morning I finished working out the chords to “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. I ran through singing and playing it in French and started revising my translation. That might take a couple of days. 

            I worked out the chords for the chorus and the third verse of “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg. I’m pretty sure the fourth verse is the same as the second and after that it’s just the chorus repeated, followed by an instrumental and the chorus again. I might have it finished tomorrow. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice for the first of two sessions. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            At around 11:30 I headed up to Topcuts at Yonge and St. Clair to get a long overdue haircut. The roads were not as clear as I would have liked and I might have avoided going out if this had been simply a recreational bike ride. This was my first time I’d ridden my new Surly beyond a short test drive. The brakes are so firm that it’s a little scary on slippery streets, especially since I’ve been used to breaking a little more slowly. I like the fact that the gears are all on one side and that I don’t have to do combinations to find a chosen gear. It took me 40 minutes to get to Yonge and St. Clair, which is pretty good on snowy streets. Amy was just starting with the customer before me when I got there at 12:10. 

            I had a date to have lunch with my friend Brian Haddon at 13:00 and emailed him that I might be ten minutes late. It turned out that I was another ten minutes late on top of that, but I only got there about ten minutes after Brian did anyway. 

            We went to the Artful Dodger on Isabella. He had fish and chips, I had a burger and we shared a pitcher of Creemore. He said he’s been reading my book of poems Paranoiac Utopia and so far my poem “Insisting on Angels” stands out for him. That’s interesting because Nick Cushing has mentioned that poem as his favourite from my book as well.

            Brian suggested I add links to ekstasiseditions.com on all my YouTube posts of the musical versions of the poems from that book so people can order the book online. We were there until after 16:00. 

            I rode up to Canadian Tire to find a Balaclava and they had only one knit balaclava for adults left. It had gotten quite cold and so I wore it on my way home. 

            I stopped at Freshco to buy grapes but they were all too soft so I walked across the street to Metro where some were relatively firm and I got six bags. 

            It was almost 18:00 when I got home and really too late for a siesta but I got sleepy and laid down at 18:15 with the intention of getting up at 19:45. But I didn’t wake up until 21:05 and it was too late to cook dinner, so I had Miss Vickie’s chips with salsa and skyr with a glass of orange juice while watching season 2, episode 57 of Batman. 

             The story begins with Alfred in a gallery purchasing a painting for Bruce Wayne. Joker comes running into the gallery with paint guns raving that it’s an outrage against art. He indicates paintings and responds to each one with judgements: “ugliness”, “monstrosity”, “horribility”, “you call that art?”, “disgusting”, “worse and worse”. “This ugliness must be destroyed!” “Down with ugliness!” “Away with dullness!” One gun shoots red and the other green and he sprays both at the same time at every painting. Alfred calls Harriet and asks her to tell Bruce that he’s found a painting called The Laughing Man. Bruce recognizes the signal and he and Dick head for the Batcave, change to Batman and Robin and head for the gallery. They arrive and shortly knock out the Joker and his men. But Oliver Muzzy the artist loves how Joker modernized his paintings. Joker is pleasantly surprised when Muzzy tells him his work is magnificent. He asks Joker to share the profits and Joker agrees to a 50-50 split. Batman has to let the Joker go since doesn’t think his paintings have been ruined. Later Joker is invited to enter the Gotham City International Art Contest. Since Bruce Wayne is a friend of Baby Jane Towser, who will be the judge of the contest, that Bruce will be at the event to keep an eye on the Joker. The next day at the art centre Baby Jane introduces the five competitors: The Spanish artist Pablo Pinkus, Jackson Potluck, Leonardo Davinsky and his monkey assistant, Vincent Van Gauche, and the Joker. The artists have three minutes to complete a painting. Potluck puts his paint in a wheelbarrow, sits in it, then rolls around on the canvas on the floor. Davinsky’s monkey throws paint balls at the canvas, Van Gauche paints with his feet. Potluck throws the paint on directly from the cans. Joker’s canvas remains blank while he mixes his paint and merely gestures at the canvas with his brush. He declares it finished without touching it with any paint. There are three judges including Baby Jane. Joker says his work is titled “Death of a Mauve Bat”. One of the judges asks “Where is the bat?” Joker says the bat is dead. It died in 1936. Jane says it’s symbolic of the emptiness of modern life. Jane overrides the other judges and declares Joker to be the winner. Joker announces that he is opening a new art school and he is now accepting applications for the Joker Art Institute but only for millionaires. Jane is the first to sign up. Bruce Wayne also asks to join. He asks Joker if he’s going to test his artistic talent first but Joker says the rich, the well born and the able all have talent. At the school Joker likes all his students’ work except for that of Bruce Wayne. Bruce is working in clay. Joker says a three year old could do better then adds a bunch of clay at the top and smashes it down. Bruce says that is the level of a three year old. Joker says, “I do the jokes around here.” Bruce says, “That was one of your better ones”. Suddenly Joker’s men come in with guns and take everyone hostage. Ransom notes have already be sent. All of the students own Renaissance art collections and they will be delivered to him in exchange for their lives. Robin gets word that the class has been kidnapped. The police don’t know where the school is located but Bruce is wearing a tracking device and so Robin goes downtown by bus since he’s too young to drive the Batmobile. Robin arrives and starts fighting and Bruce also joins in. It’s really just like any fight between the dynamic duo and a group of henchmen as Bruce is fighting with the skill of Batman, which isn’t very logical if he’s trying to protect his identity. But both Bruce and Robin are captured. Robin is tied to a mobile with spinning, sharpened palate knives that slowly descend towards him. Bruce is nearby tied to a chair. That’s the cliffhanger. 

            Pablo Pinkus was played by Duke Fishman, who worked every summer for 42 years as a lifeguard in Avalon, California. He was known for strolling the main street barefoot, wearing nothing but skimpy bathing trunks and a captain’s hat. In 1949 he began shaving his head and wearing a gold hoop earing in his left ear. That’s not uncommon today but at that time it was something no one else did. It is rumoured that he was the inspiration for Mr. Clean. He had supporting roles in several TV series and films.

February 11, 1995: I took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese's

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I made the tape of my band Christian and the Lions for the drummer Jim Bravo. I took it downtown to the Ontario College of Art but had to hang around until I finally ran into him. After that I went up to Scarborough to get my daughter, then took her to Chuck E. Cheese’s where I spent $7. Then we went to the McDonald’s at Warden and Sheppard where she had pizza. I called Nancy and then we went next door to wait for her. It was freezing.

Donald "Red" Barry

            On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for all but the last line of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. I should have it done tomorrow. 

            I worked out the chords for the second verse and the first line of the chorus of “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg. Once the chorus is done I think the rest of the chords are just repeated. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the last of two sessions. Tomorrow I’ll begin a four session stretch of playing my electric guitars. 

            I weighed 85.7 kilos before breakfast. 

            After shaving and showering I received a devastating email from Mark at Metro Cycles about my bike: 

            Hello Christian, 

            I think I discovered the grinding noise that you described: your frame is broken. The drive side chain stay is completely broken off from the rear axle wells, and seems to have been bumping into the highest freewheel gear. It is not recommended to ride a bike with a broken frame. I have stopped work on it, as I see no point in you spending money on a bike you cannot safely ride. Please give us a call for clarification or drop in and see us to collect your bike. 

            I went over there and saw that the frame is broken in the same place where it was welded a few years ago. Since they don’t do welding at Metro there was nothing I could do but take my bike home. I started calling around to see if anyone can fix a broken steel frame. Some shops said nobody in Toronto can do it. Another said there’s a place in Scarborough that can do it. I learned that a bike shop on Carlaw called Biseagal can do welding and rebuild frames but they aren’t open until Tuesday. I had no choice but to buy a bike at Metro and so I looked at a few. I test drove a steel framed Surly Preamble and decided to buy it. After tax I paid $1384.43. Mark told me that Surly guarantees the frame for life and so if the same thing that happened to my vintage bike happens to the Surly the company will replace it. 

            I had considered looking for a new Raleigh but learned that while in the era that my old bike was built, Raleigh was a high end bike manufacturer it has been bought by a company that churns out low quality bikes that merely cash in on the old name. The last time a Raleigh won the Tour de France was in 1980. The last British Raleigh factory closed in 2003. 

            I weighed 85.9 kilos at 15:00. I had saltines with five-year old cheddar and low sugar iced tea. 

            I took a siesta and slept half an hour longer than usual. 

            I weighed 85.4 kilos at 18:21, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening in a week. 

            I worked on getting caught up in my journal. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with potato chips, parmesan and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 2, episode 56 of Batman. 

            This is part two of the story featuring Tallulah Bankhead as Black Widow. As usual, part one ended with a cliff hanger. Batman and Robin have been literally caught in Black Widow’s web, and each has a large (but very fake looking) black widow the size of your face climbing up their body for a bite. When the spiders are almost at their faces Batman frees his right hand from the web and reaches for the mini-charger in his utility belt. He tells Robin to brace himself for a shock of 5000 volts. They will be momentarily stunned but the black widows will be killed. It works and they are freed. They confront Black Widow and she calls Batman “Bat Doll”. He tells her no amount of UHF short circuiting can affect their brains because they still have their anti short circuiting brain bat-electrodes. But she says she’s reversed the polarity on her brain wave short circuiter. She takes control of Batman’s brain and he stands by while her men overwhelm Robin and tie him up. She invites Batman to have a drink with her and he asks for milk. He pours her a glass too, she drinks some, looks disgusted and says, “So this is milk?” She says she’s run out of banks to rob and tells him to use his Bat Computer to find one. He has in his utility belt a remote control Bat Computer oscillator. It activates the radio frequency Bat Generator. He asks it if there is a bank in Gotham that Black Widow has not robbed. The answer is the Heritage National Bank. She has the grandpa dummy from the porch brought down and Batman retrieves his extra costume from the Batmobile. The dummy is made to look like Batman while Black Widow makes herself look like Robin, although he still talks with her voice. She tells Batman to call the manager of the banks and tell him to give $40,000 to Batman in the Batmobile. The manager calls Commissioner Gordon to tell him but Gordon thinks this is a ploy on Batman’s part to trick the Black Widow and so he tells the manager to cooperate. Black Widow as Robin drives the Batmobile from the passenger side. Later Gordon learns that the bank has been robbed by Batman and Robin. He puts out an APB for their arrest. A cop stops the Batmobile and aims a gun at him. He doesn’t respond and Black Widow starts the Batmobile driving away. The cop fires point blank at the back of the dummy Batman’s head. Meanwhile in Black Widow’s hideout Batman is playing solitaire while Robin is tied up. Robin frees himself and grabs Black Widow’s purse from which he removes her brain wave short circuiter and reverses the polarity. Robin approaches Batman and asks him to sing a song. Batman sings “I’m Called Little Buttercup” from H.M.S. Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan. While he’s singing, Robin aims the device at him and turns it on. It reverses the short circuit of Batman’s brain and he returns to normal. He reties Robin and pretend that he’s still a slave to Black Widow. Gordon hears that Batman is dead but that Robin is still at large. Figuring that he might be hiding in the Batcave he calls on the Batphone to talk him into surrendering. He talks to Alfred, who he does not know to be Alfred but just the nameless servant who answers the Batphone. He tells him Batman is dead. Alfred tells him that Batman activated the Bat Computer from 411 Larva Drive. Gordon and O’Hara figure that must be Black Widow’s hideout and so they head over there. When Black Widow returns from the bank Batman reveals himself to be no longer under her control. The final fight with her henchmen takes place. Batman and Robin win and then Batman turns Black Widow’s brain wave short circuiter on her to render her submissive. The police arrive and when asked if she’d like to be arrested she says her heart says no but her brain says yes. She tells O’Hara that he reminds her of her departed husband. Later in jail Batman is treating Black Widow and her henchmen with Bat wave brain analyzers that he and Robin have rewired to decriminalize them. If they can short circuit their bad streaks they can turn them into honest citizens. That’s really fucked up and sure as hell neither legal nor ethical. It’s similar to what Doc Savage used to do to criminals. He used to perform brain surgery on them to remove their evil tendencies. 

            Black Widow’s henchman Tarantula was played by Donald “Red” Barry, who started as a professional football player. His film debut was in Boys Town. In 1940 he was cast as the comic strip character Red Ryder in the Adventures of Red Ryder film serial. His role became so iconic that he kept the nickname “Red” for subsequent projects. He starred in Remember Pearl Harbour, Black Hills Express, Train to Tombstone (which he also wrote), and Jesse James’s Women (which he also wrote). He co-starred in The Purple Heart. His combative nature however caused him to be disliked by directors and he lost his star status. He played Lieutenant Ray Snedigar on Surfside Six. He wrote the story “This Guy Gideon” on which the movie Red Light was based.

February 10, 1995: I arranged to drop off a tape of my band for the drummer

Thirty years ago today 

            On Friday I was supposed to pose from 13:00 to 16:00 for the Ontario College of Art in the Stewart Building but the teacher was sick and so the class was canceled. Since they had to give models 48 hours’ notice, I would get paid for those three hours. I went down to the main building at 100 McCaul and talked to Jim Bravo the drummer. It looked like my band Christian and the Lions wouldn’t be rehearsing again before our show at the Rivoli on Monday and so I arranged to drop him off a tape of our set at school on Saturday. I picked up my paycheque.

Tallulah Bankhead

            On Saturday morning I worked out the chords to the first line of the last verse of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. 

            I worked out the chords for the first verse and a half of “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. It stayed in tune once or twice through a whole song. 

            I weighed 85.55 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I rode down to No Frills where I bought five bags of green grapes, two packs of raspberries, bananas, a pack of four-year-old cheddar because they were out of five-year-old cheddar, a rack of pork ribs, lemon dish detergent, low sugar iced tea, orange juice, two containers of skyr, a bag of Miss Vickie’s regular chips and another of the sweet chili kind. 

            I weighed 86.35 kilos before lunch at 14:30. I had saltines with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            Since I took a siesta half an hour later than usual I didn’t take a bike ride downtown but I decided to ride up to the Dufferin Mall to look for a balaclava, At Marks they only had the kind with a logo. The salesperson told me that all the knit balaclavas were sold out early in the season. I went to Walmart and none of the employees I asked even knew what a balaclava was. No other stores had them either. Maybe I’ll try Canadian Tire on Monday. 

            I lost my favourite bike gear and can’t seem to get it back. On top of that it sounds like something’s rubbing and when I’m coasting it sounds more like a whirr. The left gears don’t work at all. When I got home I took it to Metro Cycles and the guy says I need a new derailleur and so I left it there overnight. It’ll cost me $50 when I pick it up tomorrow. 

            I weighed 85.65 kilos at 18:15. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:09. 

            I continued to look for video clips of hippies that might fit with my Seven Shades of Blues video. There’s lots of material but not a lot that ties in with my vision. But then I found a BBC documentary called “When Hippies Ruled the World” and I think it might be fruitful. I’ll watch it tomorrow. 

            I compared the song practice video of my acoustic performance of “Les Sucettes” on September 27 to that of September 25 and I made fewer mistakes on the 25th. I compared October 1 to September 25 and I made fewer errors on September 25. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with Bolognese sauce, potato chips, parmesan and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 2, episode 55 of Batman. 

            This story introduces the villain Black Widow. Her MO is to enter a bank under the pretense of opening an account. Then while she is in the manager’s office she turns a small device on him that takes over his brain, causing him to submissively hand her a bag containing several thousand dollars when she tells him to. Commissioner Gordon recognizes this method as that of Black Widow and calls Batman. He brings a brain wave bat analyzer to examine the bank manager Mr. Cash and determine exactly what Black Widow did to him. The device looks like a hair dryer and fits over the manager’s head. Batman says Black Widow’s device may have short circuited a portion of Cash’s brain. The analyzer says Black Widow put Cash’s cerebrum out of commission. Police Chief O’Hara says, “Me men are clever but where the human brain is concerned they’re just not equipped”. Black Widow’s headquarters is in an underground grotto called “The Web”. She robs another bank and this time the manager gives her $40,000. Gordon tells Batman that Black Widow has robbed four more banks. Batman asks the names of the banks and discovers that she is working in alphabetical order. That means that the next bank on her list will be Gotham General. Batman and Robin stake out the bank and confront her when she is about to use her device. She tries to use it on Batman and Robin but they are wearing anti short circuiting brain bat electrodes. She takes a spray can from her purse labeled “Instant Nerve Paralyzer” and sprays it at Batman rendering him motionless. She leaves, patting Robin’s cheek and saying “Bye bye baby”. Batman speaks very slowly and says it’s like a dose of spider venom. It slowly wears off but Black Widow has a head start. Batman says he has installed an odour sensitometer in the Batmobile that can follow the smell of Black Widow’s motorbike. Black Widow rides the side car of a motorbike driven by one of her henchmen to an ordinary looking house. But one of the walls drops like a drawbridge and they drive inside. The Batmobile arrives and Black Widow watches through a periscope. There is an elderly couple in rocking chairs on the porch of the adjacent house. It turns out they are automatons that say whatever Black Widow says when Batman asks them questions. But Batman automatically records their voices and analyzes them back at the Batcave to discover they are amplified. They return to the Black Widow’s house and find the secret entrance. Her henchmen attack and after the usual first fight they are beaten. Black Widow steps out and while talking with Batman and Robin steps on a floor switch that lowers a web behind them. She pulls out her can of nerve spray and they back away only to become stuck on the web. She has two large and very fake looking black widow spiders placed at Batman’s and Robin’s feet and they begin to climb up their bodies without really moving their legs. That’s the cliffhanger. 

            Black Widow is played by the great Tallulah Bankhead, who was 65 at this time and it was her final screen appearance. She craved attention as a child and after tantrums stopped working she turned to being entertaining. She started acting in local troupes when she was 16 and after winning a Picture Play Magazine beauty contest moved to New York from Alabama. She was offered a role in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde but turned it down after John Barrymore tried to fuck her. She wasn’t successful in her efforts to appear on Broadway and so she moved to London. She became the most popular actress in the West End and that caught the attention of Paramount Pictures back in the States. Her film debut was a small part in Woman’s Law in 1927. She starred in His House in Order, Tarnished Lady, My Sin, The Cheat, Thunder Below, Faithless, and Devil and the Deep (She said she only took the part so she could fuck the divine Gary Cooper). In 1933 she nearly died from a hysterectomy brought on by gonorrhea which she said she either got from Gary Cooper of George Raft. After that she returned to theatre for 11 years. At society parties she would shock people by stripping naked and chatting. Her own wild parties would last for days. She starred in Alfred Hitchcock’s Lifeboat, A Royal Scandal, Die Die My Darling, and the animated The Daydreamer. In 1950 she became host of The Big Show on NBC radio. It got rave reviews but couldn’t compete with Jack Benny and Edgar Bergen. She always preferred theatre because she had direct contact with the audience. Her 1952 autobiography was a best seller. She was a civil rights activist and the first white woman to appear on the cover of Ebony Magazine. Legend has it that she was the inspiration for the character of Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmations and Margo Channing in All About Eve. She smoked 120 cigarettes a day. She said she only called everyone “Dahling” because she couldn’t remember names. Tennessee Williams created Blanche DuBois for her. When filming Lifeboat the other actors complained that she didn’t wear underwear and was always flashing them. Hitchcock said he didn’t know if it was a problem for wardrobe or hairdressing. She was a member of the clique of lesbians and bisexuals called the Four Horsemen of the Algonquin, consisting of herself, Estelle Winwood, Eva La Gallienne, and Blyth Daly. She was a big fan of the New York Giants baseball team. She had a pet lion named Winston Churchill. On seeing a former lover for the first time in years she said, “I thought I told you to wait in the car”. She said, “If I had to live my life again I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner”. “Cocaine isn’t habit forming and I should know since I’ve been using it for years”. “Say anything about me as long as it isn’t boring”. “Bette Davis and I are such good friends that there is nothing I couldn’t say to both of her faces”. “Only good girls keep diaries Bad girls don’t have time”. “I’ve had men and I’ve had women. There’s got to be something better”. She preferred the term “ambisextrous” over “bisexual”.

February 9, 1995: I put up posters for my band's upcoming concert at the Rivoli

Thirty years ago today 

            On Thursday morning I posed at Central Technical School and in the evening at Artists 25. I went to Kinkos and photocopied a poster I’d made for my band Christian and the Lions’ concert at the Rivoli on February 13. I put one of them up at the Rivoli and talked with Jerry the soundman. He told me the soundcheck was now at 16:30.

Lloyd Haynes

            On Friday morning I finished working out the chords for the third verse of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. I started on the first line of the last verse and so far the chords are not a repeat of the second verse as I thought they would be. 

            I worked out the chords for the intro and all but the last line of the first verse of “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice. 

            I weighed 85.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I mopped my floors. Now I’m freed up to start polyfilling the bathroom ceiling and walls but I have to buy the stuff first. I think I won’t have time to do that until Tuesday. 

            I weighed 86.25 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Mountain Equipment to look for a balaclava to replace the one I lost yesterday. They had a few but they all had logos on them. Why would I want to ride my bike with someone’s tattoo on my face? 

            I weighed 85.7 kilos at 18:35. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:57. 

            I finished skimming through the Woodstock documentary. The only clip I can use for my project shows a girl near the end with a rainbow umbrella. Next I’ll look at a documentary on Haight Ashbury.

            I had a potato with gravy and my last rib steak while watching season 2, episode 54 of Batman.

            This story follows the cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter. King Tut has placed Batman in a sarcophagus and submerged it in a pool. Assuming Batman is dead, Tut returns to his throne room with his entourage and the captive Robin. Meanwhile Afred is dusting the Batcave when he receives a signal in morse code and decodes it. Tut still can’t convince Lisa Carson (who he thinks is the reincarnation of Cleopatra) to marry him. He calls for Robin to be taken to the Royal Oil Boiling room to be boiled in oil where Tut insists that some real boiling royal boiling oil to boil the Boy Wonder in royally be prepared. Meanwhile Alfred is watching and listening through the skylight. He goes to the pool where Batman is submerged and pulls a switch to raise the sarcophagus out. Batman is unconscious but alive. He survived without air for over an hour by putting himself in a trance similar to the Indian fakirs and was able to slow his heart and respiratory systems. On the way to the boiling room Lisa finally says she will do anything if Tut will call her father and begins to pretend to flirt. Tut calls Mr. Carson and calls him dad. He says Lisa will remain safe for the sum of $8,300,487.12. Carson says his company sponsors the daily Jolly Jackson Phone Jockey radio show. When he has the money he’ll call in and say “The sleet in Crete is never very neat” as a signal. Then Carson calls Commissioner Gordon. Meanwhile Batman is concocting a formula that will turn oil into foam rubber. Gordon calls Batman and tells him he’s worried about his only child, his daughter Barbara. This is the first mention of her in the series as previously Gordon had said he was a grandfather. There is no real reason for him to mention her other than to prepare the audience for her first appearance as Batgirl at the beginning of the third season. Gordon says she’s away at college and will be graduating soon. Given how Professor McElroy was transformed into King Tut, Gordon just wants to be assured that Barbara is safe at college. Batman doesn’t think he needs to worry. Also Gordon tells Batman about the ransom money and the connection through the Jolly Jackson Open Mouth Show. Batman calls Jolly, who tells him he’s the 8th Batman who’s called today. To get him to prove he’s Batman, Jolly asks him a brainy question: “Who said biography should be written by an acute enemy?” Batman answers Arthur James Balfour and he was quoted in the London Observer in 1927. Jolly lets Batman speak on the air. The message is for King Tut only and so he asks everyone else to shut off their radios for 30 seconds. Tut calls Jolly and says to tell Batman to bring the money to the Royal Oil Boiling Room in the abandoned Boiler Works in the old Boylston section of Gotham. He adds, “You can also tell him to…” Batman pulls the earphones out and exclaims, “Oh! Such language!” When Batman tells Alfred that Robin’s being held at the Old Boiler Works he exclaims, “Holy steam valve!” Batman picks up the ransom money from Lisa’s father. At the Oil Boiling Room Robin and Lisa are tied back to back against a pole. Tut’s moll Neila is jealous of Tut’s obsession with Lisa and wants her out of the way and so she unties her and Robin so they will escape. But Tut sees them trying to sneak away and has them and Neila seized. Now Tut says that after Robin is fricasseed then Neila and Lisa will also be thrown into the boiling oil. Tut says, “I can’t stand violence, but I like torture”. Tut’s chancellor and jester lift Robin and prepare to toss him in the oil as Tut begins to count down from 10. At zero Batman crashes through the wall on his Bat Cycle, then tosses a tablet into the oil just as Robin is thrown. He lands on foam rubber. The final fight begins and Tut gets knocked unconscious. When Batman and Robin are triumphant, Professor McElroy wakes and realizes he became King Tut again. Batman frees Lisa and Neila. Neila worries what’s going to happen to her but Robin tells her everything is going to be alright. Later Bruce escorts Lisa home from their date. She invites him in for milk and cookies. He says, “I’m afraid it’s rather late” then looks at his watch and sees that at 22:30 it’s even later than he thought. he shakes her hand but she asks him for a kiss. He gives in and after the kiss she tells him she baked the cookies herself. He looks at the fourth wall and says, “Man cannot live by crimefighting alone” then goes inside. 

            Tut’s chancellor was played by Lloyd Haynes, who studied acting at the Film Industries Workshop and Actors West in LA. His TV debut was in The FBI. He played Communications Officer Alden in the second Star Trek pilot “Where No Man Has Gone Before” but was replaced in the role by Nichelle Nichols as Uhura when the pilot was picked up. He played schoolteacher Pete Dixon on all 113 episodes of the sitcom Room 222. His film debut was in Madigan. He co-starred in Assault on the Wayne. He co-starred with Muhammed Ali in The Greatest. He was a light airplane pilot and developed a program to train minorities in aviation.

February 8, 1995: I was the last performer that night at Fat Albert's

Thirty years ago today 

            On Wednesday evening I posed at the Ontario College of Art and then headed up to the Fat Albert’s open stage. I was the last performer that night.

Lee Meriwether

            On Thursday morning I worked out the chords to the third line of the third verse of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. Tomorrow I’ll complete the third verse and then I think the final verse should have the same chords as the second verse but we’ll see. 

            I finished transcribing the chords for “Tandem” by Serge Gainsbourg as they were posted in Boite a chanson (Song Box). Then I found two more sets with the same three chords but arranged differently. I worked out the first chord for the intro, which is G and one of the three chords but none of the other versions start with G. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar during song practice and it sounded great. 

            I weighed 85.7 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I swept the floors. I’ll probably mop them tomorrow. 

            I weighed 86.15 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on the way back. I was prepared to do a price match on grapes but all their grapes were too soft. I got a pack of raspberries, some bananas, a loaf of multigrain sandwich bread, two packs of Full City Dark coffee, a jar of salsa, and a jar of marinara sauce. I walked across the street to Metro but their grapes were all too soft as well so I didn’t get anything there. I have enough cherries to last till I go to No Frills on Saturday so hopefully they’ll have some firm grapes. 

            I think my balaclava fell out of my jacket pocket while I was riding and so I’ll have to buy another. 

            I weighed 85.95 kilos at 19:00. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:53. 

            I continued to search through old videos of hippies to find material for my Seven Shades of Blues project. I left off looking through footage of Woodstock. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a heated up rib steak while watching season 2, episode 53 of Batman. 

            In this story, Professor of Egyptology William Omaha McElroy is discussing the upcoming semester with two potential students when all three of them get conked on the head by falling objects. McElroy has a condition that causes him upon experiencing head trauma, to believe that he is the reincarnation of King Tutankhamen or King Tut. The two students upon concussion believe they are Tut’s royal servants and henchmen. Tut makes his way to Gotham and that night steals a sarcophagus from the museum. The next day Commissioner Gordon calls Batman. While at Gordon’s office he learns that Fouad Sphinx the pantomimist has been attacked in his home by Tut. Tut’s hideout is in an abandoned nightclub called The Pyramid. He has gathered a much larger gang in a short time and one assumes they haven’t all been knocked on the head. There is usually one female but this time there are two. However neither of these are his queens as he has his heart set on socialite Lisa Carson who Bruce Wayne will be escorting to the Egyptian Ball where she will play the part of Cleopatra. Tut thinks she is the reincarnation of the historical Cleopatra. Meanwhile Batman and Robin are climbing up the side of the hotel where Fouad Sphinx lives. There is a cameo when society columnist Suzy Knickerbocker opens a window. She says she goes wherever there is glamour. She asks Batman where he got his darling costume. He tells her he believes in patronizing local craftsmen. Robin adds, “There’s a guy who makes great capes and cowls right here in Gotham”. That implies there is a Gotham craftsman who knows Batman’s identity. I’d never heard of Suzy Knickerbocker but it turns out it was the pen name of Aileen Mehle, who was active in journalism for fifty years and her column was read by 30 million. Batman and Robin find Sphinx with a noose around his neck, which the cops didn’t remove because Gordon said to leave everything as they found it. He says Tut left a note in his vest pocket. It’s a hieroglyphic scroll and Batman and Robin are about to leave to get the computer to translate it when Sphinx asks if he can be freed of the noose. The computer translates that Tut has come to claim his own. Batman suspects Tut will be at the Egyptian Ball and tells Gordon to have police there. Gordon says five of his men will be disguised in costume as guests. Tut has secretly sent a Tut costume to deputy mayor Zorty which he won’t resist wearing. That night at the ball when Zorty walks in the cops grab him and take him away to Gordon. Gordon apologizes and sends the men back to the ball. Bruce as Caesar arrives at the ball with Lisa Carson as Cleopatra. Lisa is placed on a throne. Tut arrives and approaches Lisa. Bruce and Dick recognize him. Dick says they’ll deal with him as if he’s Robin in front of his Aunt Harriet. Tut’s men approach Bruce and tell him they are the police. They say they recognize Tut and want to capture him but want him near the exit so it won’t disturb the guests. To achieve that he asks Bruce to get Lisa to dance with Tut. He does so but the men stage a kidnapping and take Lisa away before they can be stopped. But Batman had placed a tracking device on Lisa’s clothing and so the computer has told him where she is. Meanwhile at the Pyramid, Lisa refuses to be Tut’s queen so he has her sent to the dungeon until she changes her mind. Batman and Robin arrive and Batman tells Robin to wait by the door while he climbs to the roof. Two of Tut’s men open the door and it hits Robin, stunning him. He’s taken to Tut while Batman watches through the skylight. Batman attacks but Robin’s hands are tied behind his back and he can’t participate. Batman is knocked out by Tut and stuffed in a sarcophagus, which is placed in a pool and sinks. That’s the cliffhanger.

            Lisa is played by Lee Meriwether who was Miss America of 1954 and the first one to be crowned on live television. After that she became a Today Girl on the Today Show. Her film debut was a co-starring role in 4-D Man. She played Catwoman and Kitka in the 1966 Batman film. She appeared as Agent Tracey in six episodes of Mission Impossible. She played Dr. Ann MacGregor on thirty episodes of Time Tunnel. She played Losira the beautiful killer alien in the Star Trek episode That Which Survives. She was a regular panelist on Match Game. She played Lily Munster on The Munsters Today. She co-starred in Angel in My Pocket, The Ultimate Gift, and Kitty. She played Betty Jones, the daughter in law and secretary of Barnaby Jones in 178 episodes of that series. She played Ruth Martin on All My Children until the series ended in 2011.