Thursday, 12 November 2015

All Men Are Children?


           

            On Wednesday just before 11:00 I headed down to the foodbank. The Second Harvest truck was getting unloaded when I arrived so the line-up was shifted to extend the other way into the driveway. At the front of the line was an elderly couple that look either Japanese or Korean. The man looked much older than his wife, as she was looking ready for a hike with her backpack on, while he was sitting while waiting in his rolator walker. I noticed that his walker was fitted on the sides with laced raw leather, that had pockets with zippers added. There was also a hanging case of the same material fitting perfectly one of his electronic devices. This did not look like industrial work because too much love had gone into it, so I’m assuming that either he or his wife had done it. I suspected her though because she looked like a crafty one. While I was waiting, I asked three people at three different times not to smoke in line and to various degrees they all complied. One palsied guy with a walker at first put out his cigarette entirely but I told him he didn’t have to do that. I said I would hold his place in line and he could smoke his cigarette farther away. A few minutes later he did light up, but just backed up a bit to a position that made very little difference in terms of the second hand smoke that came my way. I didn’t tell him twice as he might not have had the ability to understand. One of the reception volunteers came out and stood in front of the door to quickly drink her coffee and smoke a cigarette before going back inside. I didn’t even bother to say anything to her because I think there’s an almost impenetrable sense of privilege that the smoking staff members have about their habit. Something like, “Look at the good work I’m doing, then shut up and let me have my cigarette!” 
            While I was one of five clients lined up inside to get a number, one of the volunteers came up from the basement where he’d been putting away some of the stuff they’d just gotten from Second harvest, and told Joe that he’d just slipped and fallen on the water that’s leaking onto the freezer floor. Joe said that he’d hurt his back down there a few days ago. The volunteer said, “You’ve got to do something about that water!” but then he clarified that he didn’t mean Joe had to personally do something about it. I got number twenty and went home.
            My next-apartment neighbour was standing in front of my building, and as I was unlocking the door I told him that my bedbugs might finally be gone, as I haven’t seen any for a week. He then started offering me his theories about where the bedbugs could have come from in the first place. He said that the homeless friend of Sundar the superintendent, that comes to stay with him sometimes, could have brought them in. I told him that is was my upstairs neighbour, David, that, last year, first reported having bedbugs. This inspired him to begin a long list of complaints about David: that the third floor hallway is lined with junk that he’s brought home but which won’t fit in his apartment; that he brings people in to stay with him all the time, including prostitutes. Then my neighbour slightly lowered his voice and said of David, “I think he’s a little bit …” and then he held out his hand, palm down and twisted it back and forth. I asked what that meant and he explained that he thinks David is Gay, adding that one can tell by the way he walks and the way he talks. Frankly, I’d always thought the guy I was talking to was Gay. In the eighteen years that we’ve lived in the same building I haven’t even seen him speak to someone of the same sex. But if David really is Gay, I’m a bit insulted. Though I’m not interested, he could at least have asked if I was. What am I, chopped liver?
            My neighbour also surprised me with the report that our superintendent, Sundar, had moved out and up the street to the West Lodge apartments. Apparently he has a bad leg and he can’t climb the stairs to his apartment on the third floor anymore without a lot of pain. I wonder if he’ll continue to manage our place and collect the rent.
            A couple of hours later when I was back at the foodbank, the friendly male volunteer with the same wool cap he always wears (I assume there are dreadlocks underneath), called my number. He said, he’d noticed that I was reading another children’s book. I explained that I’m taking a Children’s Literature course at U of T and that I’m working on an essay about the use of talking animals as a literary device. He mentioned in response that the recent winner of the Giller prize had written a book about talking dogs and added that writing can help a person get $100,000. I had to look it up later, but he was talking about Andre Alexis’s “Fifteen Dogs”. I studied Alexis’s short story, “Kuala Lumpur” last year as part of my Canadian Short Stories course. It was quite a powerful and funny piece about a boy trying to deal with his father’s death at a West Indian-Canadian wake.
            I found a box of All Bran Flakes behind a wall of sugared cereal. When I’d made all my other selections from the first section, my first volunteer called across to Sue in the cold section, “One adult!” “I know!” she responded. As I walked up to her, I told her, “I’m an adult, but I’m also a child!” There was a choice between a litre of chocolate milk and two tubs of flavoured yogourt. Sue said, “All men are” as she put the chocolate milk into my bag, “but most of them won’t admit it!” Then she put the yogourt in my bag and said, “I’m going to give you extra for admitting it!”
            According to imago relationship theory, we all enter into relationships with the unconscious desire to have our childhood wounding healed by our partner. Sue is a very outgoing woman, so it seems natural that she would perceive men as children. I would say though that if we are paying attention we will see both the parent and the needy child in the other.
            There was also another medium sized whole pizza from Pizza Pizza. This one had a little more flavour when heated up because it had the added topping of bacon.
            When I got home, I gathered up the empties I’d collected from my two neighbours and took them to the Beer Store. About ten of the beer bottles had been carried in from the States, so though they could recycle them, they couldn’t pay me for them, and so I only got three dollars and change. I wanted coffee and margarine though, so I went to the bank to get twenty dollars and then went to Freshco.
I started down the aisle that had the coffee and passed a young guy stocking some diapers, when a package got out of hand, as diapers do, and tumbled. He caught it just as I was passing him. Nice catch!” I commented. “Thanks!” he responded proudly.
I stepped into a very long express checkout line-up, but looked over and saw a very short line a few counters away, so I stepped over there, only to find of course that there was a sign indicating that she was going off duty. When I went back to the express, there was a little white haired elderly woman who asked in a Germanic accent if I hadn’t just been in line there. I said I had, but she didn’t offer me her place. She left her basket in her place and went looking for something. As the line progressed, I kicked her basket forward for her. When she was checking out her items, she asked that some gourmet sausages she had selected be left till last. When it was the last item, the counterperson was about to run it through when the old woman said again to leave it till last. The checkout girl said, “This is the last item!” I said, “I think she means separate!” The woman confirmed that that was it. It turned out that she just wanted to make sure she had enough money to pay for the extra treat. So the checkout girl told her how much it was, the woman said she’d take it and the counterperson shook her head in mild annoyance.
I took a siesta in the afternoon that was interrupted by my vibrating phone. It was someone from OCADU asking if I could come in that night to replace another model that’d cancelled. I had planned on staying in and working on my essay but I can’t turn down work when there’s so little, so I accepted the job. I still had time to go back to bed for an hour but I was lying there with the kind of taste of burnt air in my throat that I get when the heat is on too high. The thing was though that the heat wasn’t on. It wasn’t noticeable on the bike ride to work but as soon as I was inside again I had the same taste. I was wondering if it was the symptom of some serious problem.
I worked for Keiran Brent on the sixth floor. He had me do a reclining pose and there was a space on the stage set aside for another model that would be coming in the next week. The students were to leave room in their composition for the other model. I asked Keiran if he had been a student of Richard Robertson, because that was something that he often did after the college dropped the budget for hiring two models for one class. He said he had been one of Richard’s students, and he really missed those classes of doing large drawings. Richard’s students had worked on very large drawing boards, doing full figure drawings that were life size or larger. I commented that Richard’s teaching style was very energetic, like that of an athletic coach. He said that Richard’s drawings were very athletic as well. He said that since Richard Robertson retired he seems to have kept a low profile and doesn’t even show his work in galleries.
When I got home from work I heated up half of the bacon and cheese pizza and watched the rest of “Sid Caesar Fan Favourites”. I think the best skit was the game show parody, “Break Your Brains” in which Carl Reiner played the exuberant host and Caesar played the returning champion who had won twenty five times in a row. He’d gotten beaten and robbed several times between shows because they always gave him his winnings in cash. At one point they brought in another returning champion who had won a total of one million dollars on the show. When asked if had changed her she said it hadn’t but for some strange reason all of her friends have changed, to become poorer and more boring. She and Sid were in separate soundproof booths but they kept removing the air from Sid’s Booth. At one point, the host said that, unknown to Sid’s character; they had flown to the studio his father, who he hadn’t seen in thirty years. If Sid won the next challenge he would be surprised with a reunion with his father, but if he lost he would never see his father again.

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