August 19, 1993: Yehudah and I talked about him backing me up with the cello on my songs

Thirty years ago today

            On Thursday I brought my daughter back to Nancy in the late afternoon, then I went home and showered before going to Mudds Cabaret. I also hand copied the Alphabet Orgy group poem three times because I couldn't afford to take it to Kinkos. Martin started the reading at 22:00 and it was over pretty quickly. A lot of people wandered in after 23:00 for the reading and were disappointed to find it over. I stayed until the group poem had circulated twice: 

Under this naughty blanket

caressing voluptuous shadows

I see inaccessible lands drawing near

with shadows of monsters that mirror our beauty

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? 

The caterpillars have conquered the kingdom and march, screaming "Ecki! 

I am my own monster and so I have nowhere to hide 

Not under the bed, but the monster in me is not as large as the monster without 

There are four walls between me and there 

Four walls, and I choose not 

To climb would be useless

so I sit I sit and wait for the monster 

and summer knights have failed 

and returned empty handed Oh God! 

They have been feeding me too many intellectual pills again

I see a streak of red and yellow 

on the flesh in my mind's eye 

spills into the night scary monsters 

They gather from the four quarters 

equate all horizons under the pale sun and bond together

then we are one now sun blessed

our shadows warm a melding of spirits 

congregates in the smoke to adjourn

their verdict of truth-semi-truth 

Rin tin-tin a dooky dooky bop bop-bop bop

keedooky dooky oh an a loo 

Not yet begetting the threat, we met in bed 

flip-flop, comme ci, comme sigh

beside the thigh so slightly wet 

upon the lip-slop stain of head ahead of my vision

drizzly drooling in front a sparkling silver vacuum

swirls dusty vampire forms

and then a sudden movement a jerk 

oh no it was not him and that motion

He was run over with the car every Tuesday 

but as part of his fantasy he was living for it 

without knowing what it was 

so Tuesdays kept him alive for a while 

Aesthiate browande vorgestert ersatz von deragesausust koustwerk 

My third husband never said anything that made any sense to me 

but he was always my favourite though I never told him so 

because I knew, I knew he would spit in my face 

then rip it from my skull and keep it 

I'll never see it again if I allow him the favour of the glance 

mirror or not, my hand through his hair this close to his mind 

Nobody, not even the pain has such small thoughts 

Wicked dreams will make you think and fuck you over 

with side-effects of electromagnetic feedback 

within the cerebral vortex mushrooming 

I'd like to lick the spittle in the cerebral vortex 

as you sneeze the orgasm of creation 

A figure alone with their own sensuality caresses the sky 

I saw him walking down the street

I saw him tickling toes and with grace he went 

moving away, disappearing around a cruel awaiting corner 

the kinda corner you never walk around 

could be hiding anything I followed him

followed him thinking then lost patience or interest

It's probably a good thing 

He turned down a street I didn't want to be reminded of 

and then the street met with unreality

and I saw Muddy Waters 

No orgy is ever seen in clothes 

and so I shed mine and offered my pineapple 

            It was a strange night with everyone in a weird mood. 

            Yehudah was there and we discussed a collaboration of him accompanying me on my songs with his cello.