Michael Morris

            On Sunday morning I worked out the chords for most of the chorus of “D’où reviens-tu Billy Boy?” by Boris Vian. 

            I finished transcribing the chords for “Love Fifteen” by Serge Gainsbourg that were posted on Ultimate Guitar. I searched for more but none had been posted so I started working them out for the intro. So far the way I hear it doesn’t match the Ultimate Guitar chords. 

            I weighed 87.05 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I sanded the last upper part of my bathroom walls. Rather than using the stepladder I stepped from a chair onto the bathroom sink counter. The rest of the sanding will be easier in the sense that it will be on solid ground but the lower parts of the eastern and northern walls are going to be a lot of work because they are rough and bumpy and will need nails pulled out and screws screwed further in. Maybe I’ll pull some nails out tomorrow and start sanding under where the mirror is on Tuesday. 

            I weighed 87.55 kilos before lunch. I had Breton crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 86.9 kilos at 17:45. I was caught up on my journal at 18:30. 

            I took my camera and tripod out to look for Whispering Ghost with Wings of Silver again. I may eventually have to give up and just move on with the project. 

            I reviewed the song practice videos of my performances of “Like a Boomerang” and “Comme un Boomerang” from August 8 to 15 of last year. On August 8 I played “Like a Boomerang” on my Kramer electric guitar and the take at 11:00 in part B was not great and the light was not good. On August 10 and 12 I played it on my Martin acoustic guitar. On August 10 the take at 6:45 in part B is not bad but the E flat minor chord is a bit off. On August 12 the take at 9:45 in part B was okay but the light was a bit washed out. On August 9 and 15 I played “Comme un Boomerang” on the Martin. On August 9 the take at 12:30 in part B was okay and it looked good but my dramatic gestures during the intro looked awkward. On August 15 the take at 14:30 in part B was okay and didn’t look bad but the last E flat minor chord was off. 

            I had pizza on Bavarian sandwich bread with Basilica sauce, a sliced in half beef burger and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 6, episodes 27 and 28 of Bewitched. 

            A leprechaun named Tim O’Shanter comes to visit Tabitha in her play house and asks for food. But it turns out that he’s up to mischief and under the command of Endora. Darrin intercepts the sandwich Tabitha is taking to the back yard and says imaginary food is good enough for imaginary guests. But then Tim gives Darrin a long nose and donkey ears. Samantha catches Tim and makes him fix Darrin. She asks why he’s there and says someone stole his magic shillelagh and so now he doesn’t have the power to go home. Samantha restores his power. He starts to fly away but Endora intercepts him and takes away his ability to travel again. Later Darrin finds a fine pair of custom shoes with a note from Tim. Samantha suggests he shouldn’t keep them but he tries them on and suddenly he doesn’t care about work or his job. He just wants to have a good time and decides to lie down. Samantha looks for a spell to control a leprechaun. It’s combined with chicken soup and so Tim is invited for lunch. Tim keeps switching the bowls but Samantha switches them back until he eats the soup. Samantha makes Tim remove Darrin’s shoes. She then forces Tim to tell who put him up to his tricks. Samantha sends him away. Endora gives him back his shillelagh. Endora’s reasons don’t make much sense. She says it was a test to see where the breaking point in a marriage to a mortal is and that it was approved by the Witches Council. Endora used to have a purpose behind her schemes but nowadays she just seems to be mean. 

            In the second story Endora gives Samantha a portrait of someone identical to her that is signed by Leonardo Davinci. Samantha says it’s of her great Aunt Cornelia but Darrin suspects it’s really of Samantha. Larry and Louise come over for dinner and when Louise sees the painting she is impressed. Endora puts Darrin’s signature on the painting. Louise asks if Darrin would paint her portrait. Darrin says he can’t but as his boss Larry insists. Finally Darrin agrees and he has no alternative but to let Samantha put a spell on him to make him a great painter. When he’s almost finished Endora sabotages it and makes him cause Louise to look hideous. Larry fires Darrin and they leave with the painting. But later Louise insists on seeing it. Samantha fixes it before Louise sees it. She loves it and now wants Darrin to paint Larry. Samantha says the doctor says Darrin can’t paint anymore because he’s allergic to paint. 

            This story was co-written by Michael Morris, whose father was also an actor and writer, who wrote the Thesaurus of the Yiddish Language. Michael first performed as a child on stage and on radio with his father as well as in Yiddish films. He first wrote for radio on shows like Mr. and Mrs. North and Hollywood Story. He wrote episodes of Bewitched, Chico and the Man, McHale’s Navy, F Troop, Sanford and Son, The Brady Bunch, The Andy Griffith Show and All in the Family. He co-wrote the films For Love or Money and Wild and Wonderful. Late that night Albert Moritz sent me his blurb for my book. It was kind of wordy so I boiled it down to a third: Christian Christian’s Paranoiac Utopia immerses us in the hardscrabble, down-but-never-out streets of Parkdale in Toronto. Christian’s direct, passionate poems are savory, tough, frank, colourful, tumultuous and yet controlled. They combine elements of modern free verse with age-old traditions of “Beat”, protest, and vagabond poetry. The street-corner bard who chants and growls these lyrics is an artist learnèd beyond the academy.