Howard Wendell

            On Wednesday morning when I got up at 5:00 it was very cold and very dark. The radiators were blasting as hot as usual but the heat was strangled by the cold from outside before it got very far. It was especially dark because the streetlamps were out in front of my window. 

            I memorized the first verse of “Le temps passe” (Time Goes By) by Boris Vian. 

            I revised my translation of “White and Black Blues” by Serge Gainsbourg then ran through singing and playing it. I uploaded it to my Christian’s Translations blog to begin preparing it for publication and I might have it done tomorrow. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice. It went slightly out of tune a couple of times. 

            I weighed 85.95 kilos before breakfast. 

            The tech guy from Bell was scheduled to be here between 12:00 and 17:00. I kept my phone in front of me while doing the dishes and the guy called not long after noon to say he’d be here in fifteen or twenty minutes. I was looking out for him from my window but there were a lot of Bell vehicles driving around the neighbourhood and parking nearby. After about half an hour he was under my window. Somehow all I thought he had to do was plug in a modem and Bell would beam a signal but it turns out they still need cables and I don’t have any jacks. Over ten years ago I had internet from Rogers and the cable came in through my eastern kitchen wall. He looked at the back of the second floor of my building and saw that the guy in unit 2 had Bell internet. He pointed to a pole in the alley and said my cable would have to be run from there and along the side of the building to my kitchen. He said the modem could just be placed in the kitchen and then my computer in the living room would pick up the wifi. He said it would take several hours for him to do this job and he called his manager about getting help. Finally it was decided that another crew would come and do the job in a couple of days.

            For lunch I had a saltines with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of low sugar iced tea. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown. When it’s cold and dark and I’m wearing a balaclava the ride seems to take forever. I stopped at Freshco and used the washroom then I checked out the grapes but they were all too soft. I walked over to Metro where the cherries were fairly cheap so I got three bags. Every Freshco and No Frills cashier says “Hi” at the beginning and “Thank you” at the end. The Metro cashier just asked if I wanted a bag and told me what I owed. I hate Metro. 

            I weighed 85.4 kilos at 18:54, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since January 10.

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:56. 

            I completed one more frame for my second rainbow wave animation.

            I made two burgers with the rest of the New Zealand lean ground grass fed beef. I had one on a split toasted slice of multigrain sandwich bread with Dijon, chili sauce, sweet chili sauce, horseradish, two slices of dill pickle, and sliced onion. It was a good burger and I enjoyed it with a beer while watching season 2, episode 38 of Batman. 

            This story was part 2 of a three part story. We left off with Batman and Robin tied to a zodiac wheel under a large meteorite which will fall after its supporting cable is cut by a revolving thermite fuse. Now Batman has managed to free his right hand and his batarang. He has three seconds to throw it and hope his shot deflects the fuse. Meanwhile Joker appears at Commissioner Gordon’s office to announce that Batman and Robin are dead and to let him know that his next zodiac crime is to steal Libra in the form of the Carrara marble statue of Justice outside of police headquarters. O’Hara steps towards him and he freezes him and Gordon somehow with shock paralysis from his wand. His men then pick up the statue with a fork lift and load it onto a truck. A statue that valuable just sitting out in public would have had parts broken off for the marble years ago. Meanwhile Batman is able to knock the thermite fuse down beside him and he uses it to cut his bonds and then frees Robin. They both roll away just before the meteorite falls. Robin is technically supposed to be a minor. Shouldn’t Batman be charged with child endangerment for taking Robin into so many life threatening situations? After the statue is stolen Joker remains in front of the police station. When the alarm goes off he gets into a police car, dons a police hat and despite still looking like the Joker he passes himself off as a cop to the other cops. Then he gets on the police radio and keeps calling all cars to proceed to other streets. Batman and Robin are in the Batmobile and follow his instructions until they finally realize it would be impossible for Joker to move from one vicinity to another in that short a time. They soon conclude it’s the Joker on the radio. He tells them his next crime will be committed by his brightest star. They deduce that means Venus and since after Libra comes Scorpio they figure Venus will return to the same jewellery store from which she stole the Twin diamonds because that’s where the Duran Scorpion is. Venus enters the store pretending to be a police detective and demands to see the Scorpion. Then she says “this is fake” and tells the salesperson she’s taking it to headquarters. The salesperson asks her to confirm hat she said the scorpion is fake. She answers that it’s not fake but she is. She then uses a spray that cements his feet to the floor, laughs like the Joker and leaves. Batman and Robin are too late to catch her. Since after Scorpio comes Sagittarius, Batman deduces that the Joker’s next target is millionaire Basil Bowman. So when Joker arrives at Bowman’s home to abduct him, Batman and Robin jump out. Joker calls his men to attack but suddenly Venus is on Batman’s side again. Joker then puts a knife to Venus’s throat and tells Batman to back off. Then he pushes her at him and escapes. Venus is in Batman’s arms and her voice gets all breathy like Marilyn Monroe’s as she confesses that she’s been a bad girl. She takes them to the record store where Leo Crustash is being held. Joker’s men are there and there is a big fight to the tune of a rock and roll instrumental. Everyone is throwing records at each other. They find Leo tied in a closet being forced to listen to rock and roll even after he paid Joker’s ransom. For some reason they skip Capricorn and conclude that Joker is going to steal a rare fish from a public fountain. Venus asks to come along so she can help capture Joker. They arrive at the park but Joker gets there just a little later at the top of his crane truck. Joker’s men throw large dead fish at Batman and Robin while Joker steals the rare live one with a net and gets away. Batman and Robin go after him but then Venus is captured by one of the Joker’s henchmen. Batman and Robin arrive at Joker’s hideout where the Joker drops a net on them and they are captured. Batman, Robin and Venus are chained and placed in a pond to be fed to a ridiculous looking giant clam. The clam eats Robin and is about to go for the others and that’s the cliffhanger. 

            Basil Bowman was played by Howard Wendell, who made his Broadway debut in The Great Campaign in 1947. His film debut was in You For Me in 1952. He co-starred in The Fighting Chance. Most of his work was in supporting roles on television.