Paul Lipson

            On Friday morning I memorized the third verse of “Ballade de la chnoufe” (Ballad of the Snuff) by Boris Vian. 

            I finished revising my translation of “Tout l’monde est musician” (Everyone’s a Musician) by Serge Gainsbourg. On Saturday I’ll run through singing and playing it in English and then upload it to my Christian’s Translations blog. 

            I weighed 88.25 kilos before breakfast. 

            During song practice I played my Kramer electric for the last of two sessions and it stayed in tune. 

            I got an email from Best Buy notifying me that my computer has been shipped. I didn’t expect it so soon since the bank says my purchase will be on hold until December 19. 

            Around midday I finished touching up my bathroom ceiling. One streak and two spots of the Crazy in Love colour did end up dribbling down the wall but I can fix that in seconds when I start touching up the walls next Wednesday. 

            I weighed 88.65 kilos before lunch. 

            I was heading out for my afternoon bike ride when I saw a notice from UPS that there was a package for me at 8 Gladstone. I rode there and the package was too big for me to carry so I said I’d come back later with my bike trailer. I rode up to Long and McQuade to buy an Oasis guitar humidifier. I got the Oasis plus that indicates when it needs to be refilled. It was just under $30. I went home and got my trailer and straps. I picked up my new computer and strapped it to my bike trailer. When I got it home I unpacked it. It came with a new mouse and keyboard. I put it next to the old computer but didn’t connect it yet. 

            I was trying to find the wifi password for the Shambhala restaurant downstairs. My computer automatically remembers it but the new one won’t. I remembered that my laptop showed the passwords but I discovered that it doesn’t now. I also discovered that the battery is shot so if I decide I need a laptop I’ll have to get a new one. 

            I weighed 88.45 kilos at 19:00, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since last Friday.

            I had a small potato with gravy and two small chicken drumsticks while watching season 1, episode 28 of Car 54 Where Are You? 

            Captain Block’s 25th wedding anniversary is approaching and Schnauser is in charge of buying the gift on behalf of the precinct Brotherhood Club. He’s arranged for a silver cheese knife but Toody protests that it’s a chintzy gift and so they argue. Block asks Toody and Muldoon to come by his place the next day to pick up the files for his six month report. When they come he shows them his antique room, which contains his prized possession: an Aleutian ceremonial chair. I doubt if the Aleuts used chairs in their ceremonies and this looks like it was really thrown together. At the top of the back of the chair is a moose head with antlers on top of a polar bear skin replacing the head of the bear. The front legs are on the arms of the chair and the rest of the skin looks like it is sitting in the chair. Block says there are only two in existence and if he could get the other he’d be the happiest man in the world. The other is owned by someone on Staten Island who refuses to sell his. Now Toody thinks an antique would be a more appreciated gift for Block and the other men are convinced. Toody and Muldoon start shopping for antiques but they only have $35 from the club treasury. Later Toody discovers in the window of Pete’s Auction Store the other Aleutian Ceremonial Chair and learns it will be up for auction the next day. Since Schnauser has the money, Toody calls him to come and do the bidding and he reluctantly comes even though it’s his day off. Toody tells him he has to bid for other items so nobody thinks the chair is valuable. But when the audience sees uniformed police officers there they think they must be investigating stolen merchandize and so they don’t bid. Schnauser ends up with almost every item on the auction block and the most he’s paid is $3 and the least just a few cents. Toody and Muldoon ask the audience why they aren’t bidding and they tell them. Once they learn there are no stolen items they begin bidding for the chair when now all Schnauser has is $9 left. Toody however begins bidding against the others and finally wins the chair at $345. Then he privately auctions off all the items Schnauser purchased to make up the money. They cover the chair up in the club room at the precinct in anticipation of presenting it to block, only to discover that Block has sold all of his antiques to make a music room for his wife because if he can’t have the other chair he doesn’t want just one. It turns out that the chair they bought is the one that Block sold. They take the chair back to Pete’s to try to get some of their money back and discover the other chair in the window. They see Mrs. Block leave the store and she tells them that she had gotten the man on Staten Island to sell his chair to her and then she discovered that her husband had sold his chair so she sold hers. The guys and Mrs. Block arrange to get both chairs back and Block is happy. 

           Pete was played by Paul Lipson, who played Avram the bookseller in the original Broadway production of Fiddler on the Roof. Later he became Zero Mostel’s understudy for the lead role of Tevye and then became the lead. At the time of his death he had played Tevye in more productions than any other actor.