Sunday, 18 October 2015

Spooky Skeleton


           

            I was just leaving an outdoor dinner party where the guests were mostly middle class, middle aged women and the food had been served on disposable plates, some of which seemed to have a life of their own, as they and the leftovers they were holding started sliding off the benches where they were sitting beside the ladies. I was carrying mine to find a garbage can and caught one plate that was about to slide off the bench from beside one woman who was chatting with another. I found a trash basket on the corner, where a dark street began. I had an appointment and went looking for public transit. I walked up the steps of a pedestrian overpass, similar to the one that goes over the railroad tracks north of Bloor and Dundas. I was at the top but turned around. In addition to a little of my own money, I had $200 in my pocket that I had to give to someone, but there was someone else, a young blonde guy in good shape that also needed the money. It didn’t seem to matter which person I gave it to and they could work out who owed what to whom between them. I looked down to the streetcorner near the foot of the stairs and saw that my bike was locked there, though it was a different bike than the one I usually ride. I was about to descend to unlock it because I could get to where I was going quicker that way, when my phone rang. I dug it out of my pocket but it looked like the spooky green skeleton of a smartphone, with the circuits exposed. I didn’t even know which side to talk into but when I put it to my ear and said hello, a desperate voice said, “Christian! It’s Nancy! I really need to see you! Can you meet me?” She didn’t have the voice of my daughter’s mother but I recognized her particular flavour of panic and said, “Okay” and then she hung up. There was no when and where attached to any meeting though. Around that point I woke up.

            On Saturday I needed to wash some underwear and since they wouldn’t be able to dry properly at home I decided to splurge at the Laundromat. I considered washing them first and then taking them to be dried, but figured the extra quarters I’d have to spend to get soaking wet clothing dry would amount to about as much as paying for a washer, in which case, because of the final spin cycle, they wouldn’t be dripping when I put them in the dryer. So I took a small load of things that needed to be washed, but not my bedding, since I’d be washing that next Wednesday when the exterminator comes again.
            On my way to the Laundromat, I was waiting near Lansdowne and Queen and waiting to cross south when someone called my name. It was Michael Fraser, pushing his son in a stroller for the purpose of getting him down for a nap. He was already halfway nodded off, but still holding onto the box of Triscuits he’d been snacking on.
            Michael is featuring at the Plastiscene reading series this Sunday. I told him that because of the essay I have to finish before Tuesday I might not be able to make it out that night. I think I’ve been going to Plastiscene every month for about five years now, and I’ve only missed it one time, which was because I had to study for a French exam. In this case I really can’t see myself being able to sacrifice the four hours of writing time I’d lose if I went to Plastiscene on Sunday night. I would have to make miraculous progress with the essay before the evening for me to be able to go.
            So, after my laundry I spent the day writing. I finished the required seven pages of text and came up with a thesis, but I still have to refine those seven pages of ideas into arguments that support my thesis.
            While eating dinner I watched Buster Keaton’s short silent film, “The Electric House”. Some diplomas get mixed up at graduation and Keaton ends up with one that says he’s an electrical engineer, so he gets hired to electrify a house. This takes place in 1922 when a lot of houses still didn’t have electricity. The family returns from holiday to fin all kinds of modern innovations have been installed. This film was mostly interesting only because of what would have been considered at that time to be innovative. The house had an escalator that sometimes went too fast and catapulted whoever was ascending out the window and into the pool, which could drain or fill in a matter of seconds. There was a pool table that racked its own balls. The bookshelf had an arm that would extend to pass you whatever book you wanted. The dinner table had a train track that ran to and from the kitchen and went around the edge of the table to deliver or take away dishes. There were a few more gadgets as well but things went most wrong when the real electrical engineer snuck into the electrical room of the house and started switching the wires.

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