On Sunday I left my place at around 8:15 to
go and meet my friend Paul Valliere, in his secret identity as mild mannered
chimney guy, Bill Rundle. He and his son Daniel were going to be destroying the
chimney of a building on Harbord, near Spadina, but it was next to an alley and
they needed someone to either stop traffic or direct it to the part of the
laneway farthest from possible falling chunks.
On
my way there, along Harbord, I heard two beeps as a beat up old pick-up truck
with a ladder tied to the back passed me. Although I’d never seen Paul/Bill’s
truck before, I knew it was him.
We
met at about 8:45 behind the work site. Paul had brought his dog, Kira along.
Luckily she was wearing a muzzle because when I went to pat her she tried to
bite me. I’d patted her a couple of weeks before at Paul’s apartment, but I
guess the context was different, plus I had been sitting down before, and
threat perception probably changes according to how tall the animal we are encountering
happens to be.
Paul?
Bill’s son arrived in a fairly new four-by-four, which when parked beside
Bill/Paul’s old pick-up, illustrated the difference between their two
personalities. Paul/Bill is a “let’s play it by ear” type of guy, whereas
Daniel is a perfectionist and wants to have a plan for success.
We
met the guy who hired Bill (He doesn’t know Paul). He looks like “Hardball”
host, Chris Matthews. He’s a real estate agent with whom Bill/Paul has done
business for many years. We went upstairs to look at the chimney from where it
was accessed on the rooftop patio. It was quite a nice townhouse, with a
bookshelf stretching along almost the whole of one wall of the second floor.
Just outside on the patio though there was a big pile of raccoon shit.
Before
they started on the chimney they had to transfer some brick pieces from
Daniel’s truck to Bill/Paul’s truck, I guess because his truck would be taking
the pieces from this chimney so they might as well all be together. They didn’t
ask me to help, but I did anyway. I would have felt stupid just standing
around.
My
job was to stand in the alley and to direct cars, cyclists and pedestrians to
swing out closer to the wall of the building opposite, just in case stuff came
down on top of them. If I couldn’t get people out of the way I was supposed to yell,
“Stop!” to Paul/Bill and Daniel. For the most part, everyone obeyed my
directions, but one stopped in the middle of the alley, rolled down its window
and the people inside wanted to know what was going on. The woman asked why
they didn’t have pylons lined up to guide traffic. I said, “Because they have
me!” She said, “You’re doing a great job!” and they drove away. I guess I
should have shouted to the guys above me to stop while they had pulled over though.
They kind of distracted me and I forgot.
Another
person who did obey my directions, stopped after swerving out, rolled down her
window and said, “Christian!” It was Maria Gabankova, a painting instructor
that I’d worked for over a period of many years at OCADU. She was with her
husband, who I think is also a Czech artist. Though they live near Lansdowne
and Dundas, they apparently go to church in the Spadina and Harbord area and
they were driving around looking for a parking space. It always surprises me
when artists go to church. She said she doesn’t teach at OCADU anymore, and
though she misses the students, she said the school has changed.
After
the first hour we took a break and Paul/Bill gave me one of his chicken salad
sandwiches.
Although
quite a few little red brick chips did fall in the alley, only a couple of
pieces came down that could have scratched a car or a person. Bill/Paul had
expected it to be raining brick chunks but Daniel had brought a stone saw and
cut away large sections of the outside of the chimney, so a lot less hammering
had to be done.
Once
the chimney was gone they had to cover it but the piece of stone tile that
Daniel had brought was too small, so he went someplace to get a bigger one,
while Paul/Bill sent me for coffee. On the way to Harbord Bakery, I passed a
bookstore called Caversham that specializes entirely in psychology. The list of
subjects printed in white on the window was amusing. They included, “Dreams,
death, divorce, obsession, depression, paranoia …” and the list went on.
It
had been quite cold in the alley until the sun swung up and around to chase the
shadows away. It was pleasant in the end to sit with a coffee on the nice patio
from which one could see the top of Robarts Library.
Paul/Bill
is hoping to get tickets to the upcoming Black Sabbath concert. He told me that
the band is doing okay, since they are worth a hundred million these days. I
said that the Osbornes reality show probably didn’t hurt the band, as well as
the Iron Man movie, which features their old song, “Iron Man”.
Paul/Bill
had promised me fifty dollars cash for my help, but ended up giving me eighty.
I don’t know what I did for it but it was nice to have it and kind of fun to
hang out with Paul Valliere in his secret identity.
On
the way home I stopped at No Frills to buy a few food items I haven’t been able
to buy for a while. I also splurged on a coffee filter so I could stop messing
up the kitchen counter while making coffee with a funnel and some paper towel.
I say, “splurged” even though it only cost a dollar for the filter. If I’d
known that I could have bought one when my French press broke back in the
summer. Since I didn’t know, I didn’t even bother to go into the section where
they might sell them until I had the money to pay more.
That
night I watched the Roscoe Arbuckle silent film, “His Wedding Day”. Roscoe runs
a soda fountain and he and his girlfriend are getting married, but another
suitor wants her. She rejects him and he’s pretty upset about it. She has
ordered her wedding dress and Buster Keaton delivers it. She wants to see how
it looks and so she asks Buster to try it on and model it for her. Meanwhile
the rejected Romeo gets his gang together and plots to kidnap the bride. Of
course they end up kidnapping Buster Keaton instead.
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