Joi Lansing

            Very early on Thursday morning a woman was shouting, “Where’s my money?” over and over again. I got up to pee and looked out the window. A taller and much huskier woman was menacing an older woman whom I’ve seen around Parkdale for years and always assumed she was homeless. I think she’s a Francophone. I heard five dollars mentioned several times. Nearby was a guy whom I assumed was the big woman’s boyfriend. After a couple of minutes they all walked west together with the big woman’s arm around the small woman, although not in an affectionate. It was more like she was holding her in custody until she got her five dollars.

I finished memorizing “Di doo dah” by Serge Gainsbourg and started tracking down the chords. I found one set and if there are more I’ll look for them on Friday. Of course I may just work out different ones if none of the ones I find fit.

            I took a look at the seventh stanza of my poem “I Saw My Reflection in an Open Wound” because Albert Moritz suggested that I should delete it because he thinks it’s very elaborate with not much of a result. He says the sixth stanza much more powerfully and aptly unites with the eighth stanza. Here are stanzas 6-8:

The streets are in the process of fermenting

into a poison made of mucous and wine

and I am an added aphrodisiac

thrown in the mixture just to be unkind

Parkdale’s sharp teeth shine beneath the moon

as it chews on something funky and red

while by day it merely nibbles on a bone

digestion echoing the groans

of its dead

I feel very comfortable in its jaws

I’m lucky that it turned out that way

as I just leap into its steaming guts

before its bite can close to make me its prey

I stay there just as long as I can hold on

until its stomach’s anti-matter pull

spews me out cause like the haloes and the bones

Parkdale finds me

indigestible

Bernice has gotten in another fight

She’s lost her life out here upon the street

I don’t mean that she’s a motionless corpse, she’s

a very animated crack zombie

Her spirit left her a long time ago

now she just uses a powdered instant

From street to jail the girls will come and they’ll go

busty Bernice remains

un-busted

            I tried to think of a way to change stanza seven in order to make it fit, but I couldn’t. Still, I didn’t want to delete it because there are elements that I like about it. I decided I would cut it from this poem but add it as the final stanza to my opening poem, “Junk Shop Bizarre” and alter it to fit the other format. What I came up with is:

I'm swinging in a hammock between Parkdale's jaws

that every now and then slings me down its gluttonous maw

I try to stay but then it’s stomach’s anti-matter pull

pukes me out because Parkdale finds me indigestible

            The early part of the day got away from me because the wi-fi connection was fluctuating and so it took me a long time to get some of my usual activities completed.

            Besides the dishes I got no cleaning done.

            Had my last sausage and some yogourt with honey for lunch.

            I did my afternoon exercises and then rode my bike to Ossington and Dundas. On the way home I stopped at Freshco where the grapes were too soft and so I picked four bags of cherries instead. I got a pint of blueberries, a loaf of Bavarian sandwich bread, a pack of chicken drumsticks, three bags of 1% milk, four Greek yogourts and two boxes of spoon size shredded wheat. I did a price match on the cherries with No Frills and saved over $9. My cashier was someone I hadn’t seen there before but she was very fast and so obviously she’d worked checkout somewhere else before.

            I thawed out the mystery meal that I’d gotten a week and a half ago from the food bank. It turned out to be a slice of pork and some lengthwise slices of yam.  I had it with gravy while watching The Untouchables. This was episode 14 out of 28 for the first season and the best story so far. An aging Mafia boss named Joe Buco is given the word by the main family to step down and to let Little Charlie take over. Buco is too proud to retire and he nearly kills Charlie by having his vehicle sabotaged. Charlie says he’s back to working for Buco. But the bosses now want Buco dead. Eliot Ness tries to get Buco to talk but Buco just shows him the gold key around his neck and tells Ness he can have it when he dies. At a restaurant meeting between Buco and Charlie, Buco is offered 60-40 with 60 for Charlie. Charlie goes to the washroom and Buco is surrounded by the trio of musicians that have been playing. Buco pulls his gun on them and backs out onto the fire escape. Shots are fired and Buco comes back in the window with a hood over his head. He collapses on the floor. He’s still alive but dying. Ness comes to see him. Buco’s wife is there and she tells Ness that when Joe dies she’s going to go right out into the street to commit a mortal sin so she can go to hell and marry Joe all over again. Buco dies and his wife gives Ness the key. In Buco’s safe deposit box is a record. Ness is excited because he thinks he’s about to get names that will break open the Mafia. He plays the record and Joe’s voice says that he is going to sing. But Buco literally sings for a while and then he speaks directly to Ness, “Get outta the game Mr Ness. You gonna lose! You aint even got a good singin voice!” Ness seemed to like Buco.

            A small part was played by Buco’s mistress Georgina, who was played by Joi Lansing. She started modelling at 13 at was in MGM’s talent school at 17. She got mostly eye-candy roles and wasn't given much opportunity to show her acting ability. She had a semi-regular part on The Bob Cummings show and she played Lester Flatt’s wife on The Beverley Hillbillies. She was also a singer with the Xavier Cugat orchestra and with Les Paul. She was a devout Morman.