Woody Kling

            On Thursday morning I revised my translation of the second verse of “Allons z'enfants” (Be All You Can Be) by Boris Vian. 

            I finished editing “Ophélie” (Love Me Like Ophelia) by Serge Gainsbourg on my Christian’s Translations blog and published it. Tomorrow I’ll post my translation on Facebook before moving on to the next Gainsbourg song. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the second of two sessions. It stayed in tune. 

            I weighed 87.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I sanded the top and the upper sides of the middle of the inside of my bathroom door frame. Tomorrow I’ll do the lower sides and maybe the kitchen side of the edge. 

            I weighed 87.8 kilos before lunch, which is the most I’ve weighed in the early afternoon since October 30. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and stopped at Freshco on my way back. I bought three bags of red grapes, two bags of green grapes, two packs of raspberries, some bananas, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, a loaf of multigrain sandwich bread, three bags of skim milk, a pack of Full City Dark coffee, and shaving gel. I did a price match on the green grapes with Metro’s price. 

            I weighed 86.8 kilos at 18:30. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:53. 

            I compared the song practice videos of my acoustic performances of “Comme un boomerang” on September 5 and 9. September 5 looks a lot better and sounds a bit better. I compared September 15 to September 5 but I need to listen and watch them both again tomorrow. 

            I worked on relearning to play the intro to “Paranoiac Utopia” and it’s coming back to me. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a slice of roast beef while watching videos 11 and 12 of The Beatles cartoon series. 

            In story 1 of video 11 The Beatles car breaks down. John and Paul go underneath the car for a while and say they’ll be done soon. George says he didn’t know they could fix a motor. They say they’re not fixing the motor but writing a song. They are captured by an elderly highwayman who recognizes they’re the Beatles and want to hold them for ransom. He ties them up and rides off to get the ransom money. They easily break free and then follow the sun west to the highway while “I’ll Follow the Sun” is playing. When they get back to their car the highwayman is fixing it. He says he’s gone straight and now he’s doing auto repairs. He hands them their bill and they say, “It’s highway robbery!” He confirms it is and adds “Twentieth Century style!” 

            The first singalong song is “I’ll Cry Instead”. The second singalong is to the Beatles’ cover of “Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby”, which was sung by George. The original hillbilly style version of the song was written in 1936 by Rex Griffin. Carl Perkins wrote and recorded his rockabilly version with slightly altered lyrics in 1956. 

            In story 2 of video 11 The Beatles are being chased by screaming girls and take shelter in the Notre Dame Cathedral, where it turns out that the hunchback of Notre Dame still lives. As the Beatles explore the church Quasimodo tries to cause them mischief but his efforts always backfire similarly to Wile E Coyote in the Roadrunner cartoons. All of this is happening while “When I Get Home” is playing. Finally he tries to drop the cathedral bell on them but crashes to the floor with the bell. The Beatles take pity on him and arrange for him to get a gig as a musical bell ringer. He’s an immediate hit with the screaming fans. 

            In story 1 of video 12 The Beatles are driving to Tokyo. Meanwhile nearby in a temple four people are praying to their ancestors and asking them to return in earthly form. They have laid out a feast and silk clothing for them to wear. Then the worshippers say they will return tomorrow. After they leave, The Beatles are looking for a place to stop for the night when they come upon the temple. They go inside, eat the food, put on the clothing and then go to sleep. The next day the worshippers think that The Beatles are the earthly form of their ancestors. The Beatles are running from them while the song “Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby” is playing. When they realize The Beatles don’t wear braids like their ancestors they kick them out. 

            The first singalong song is “I’m a Loser”, which was written and sung by John. The second singalong is “I Wanna Be Your Man”, which was written mostly by Paul but finished by Paul and John, and sung by Ringo. It’s a staple of Ringo’s All Star Band concerts. The Rolling Stones recorded it and it became their first top 20 hit. 

            In story 2 of video 12 the Beatles are trying to find a concert hall in Rome to play in but the first one they come to, the Romano has been burned to the ground. The impresario Senor Bombasto gets them the Grand Opera House. They start rehearsing but then hear a very loud and bad opera singer destroying the place with her voice. Bombasto takes them to a ballet theatre but then an overweight dancer wrecks the place by accidentally turning on the artificial weather and a storm and flood wrecks the place. Finally they go to the Coliseum to rehearse “I Should’ve Known Better”, which was written and sung by John. Their music also wrecks the Coliseum. 

            These stories were co-written by Heywood “Woody” Kling. Woody’s parents were in show business and threw parties that a lot of celebrities attended. Woody met Milton Berle at one of those parties and at one point Berle told a joke that Woody didn’t laugh at. Berle asked him why and Woody said he’d told it wrong. Woody proceeded to tell it the right way and got a big laugh. Berle right away hired Woody to produce and write Texaco Star Theatre Starring Milton Berle. He even wrote the theme song. In the 50s he became the head writer for the Jack Paar Show. In 1968 he was the head writer for The Jackie Gleason Show. In the 70s he became head writer for The Carol Burnett Show and All in the Family, which together earned him seven Emmy nominations and two Emmy wins. His play Three Goats and a Blanket starring Mickey Rooney became the highest grossing play to not make it to Broadway. He created the cartoon series Rainbow Brite.