Noah Keen

            On Sunday morning I woke up at 5:51 and realized that I’d missed the stupid time change again. I decided to pretend it was still 4:51 and went back to bed for a few more minutes. I chose to go through my normal routine until I arrived at an hour that I could sacrifice and then change the time. 

            After yoga I gathered more images for my photo-video of “Les millionaires” by Serge Gainsbourg. I have 189 so far. 

            I weighed 88.65 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice for the first of two sessions and it stayed in tune the whole time. 

            I cleaned the warm mist humidifier that had been working all week and started the other one going. While it was soaking in vinegar I changed my alarm to stupid time. 

            I weighed 89.35 kilos at 14:20. 

            I took a siesta at 15:00 and so that put me only half an hour behind. 

            I had just enough time in the afternoon to take a bike ride to Ossington and back, so then I was caught up with the time change. 

            I weighed 88.8 kilos at 18:05, which is the lightest I’ve been in the evening since January 16. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:52. 

            I tried to do some more recording in Audacity but even without the sound turned on when I clicked “Record” there was just a solid blue block across the timeline instead of a waveform. I tried restarting a few times and got the same thing and once no waveform at all when the tape was playing. A few months ago I downloaded a new version of Audacity that I thought the program was just going to upgrade by itself. But it turns out I was supposed to install it, so I did. Version 3.7.7 worked after a couple of tries. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive the first part of the Christian and the Lions rehearsal that I’d started last night. Tom Smarda and Steve Lowe on guitars were learning my songs “Charm and Money” (to the tune of “Love and Marriage”) and “Fallen”. Mike Martin just kept playing his bongos the same speed no matter what we were doing fast or slow. Steve claimed he no longer wanted to have sex and just wanted to play his guitar. I called bullshit. Tom and Steve didn’t agree with the premise of “Charm and Money” that potential lovers are more attracted to charm and money than they are to kindness and intelligence. The next rehearsal tape I’ll record tomorrow is more coherent as Steve had gotten a better grip on my songs.

            I had a tomato, avocado, and cucumber salad with lime juice while watching episode 10 of Captain Nice. 

            A crime syndicate fronted by a mysterious Mr. X. captures a mob that has been muscling in on their territory and now they are going to be bumped off but they say they would settle for a good scolding. They are lined up against the wall inside the Bigtown Garage as the assassin named Gunnar prepares his machine gun. Gunnar wonders when he will meet Mr. X but he is told nobody but his girlfriend Amanda Woolf has ever seen him. The beautiful Amanda is there keeping the syndicate’s records in code in a little black book. Gunnar is about to fire when Carter pulls in for gas and goes looking for an attendant. He opens the door and sees the gangsters, then he heads back to his car to change into Captain Nice. Gunnar fires but misses. Captain Nice flies in front of the next barrage. Amanda pretends to faint to distract Nice while her colleagues get away. 

            The saved mobsters are brought in but won’t talk and Amanda won’t testify. Carter and Sergeant Candy Cane are looking for clues in the garage when Candy finds Amanda’s black book. Carter says if he can crack the code he’ll find out the identity of Mr. X. 

            Mayor Finney and Chief Segal interrogate Mr. X’s suspected right hand man O’Brien. O’Brien says they can’t prove it. Finney says O’Brien deposited half a million in his account this year (which would be $5 million now) and yet he only runs a small cleaning business. O’Brien says he finds a lot of loose change in the clothing. 

            Carter arrives to announce he has the little black book and he thinks he can crack the code. Amanda sees he has her book and plots to get it back. She says she’s changed her mind and she will testify after all but needs to be in protective custody at Carter’s house. It’s unlikely that a police chemist would be assigned to watch after a material witness but they agree. Carter is warned he can’t even tell his mother the identity of Amanda. 

            Carter brings Amanda home and she has more suitcases than a luggage store. 

            O’Brien is released and puts out a hit on Amanda. He overheard at the mayor’s office that she would be staying at Carter’s place. His gang kidnaps Chief Segal and forces him to tell them where Carter lives. 

            Carter figures out that the code is based on the telephone dial with the letters and numbers representing each other. 

            O’Brien and the gang invade the Nash home and tie up Carter’s mother, father, and Amanda. Carter is unnoticed but he sees them from the study. He changes to Captain Nice before the captives can be killed. Gunnar shoots Nice but the bullets bounce off to kill the entire gang, including Gunnar. 

            The next day Carter reveals that Amanda is Mr. X. I saw that coming. 

            O’Brien was played by Noah Keen, who after graduating from university worked at NBC. He made his film debut in 1957 in A Face in the Crowd. He guest starred in the Twilight Zone episodes The Arrival and The Trade Ins.