Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Pomelos Are A Rip-off

           


            Every four years there is an extra day in February but most people don’t know that every four February 29ths the day has an extra hour and every sixteen February 29ths that hour has an extra minute and every sixty-four February 29ths that minute has an extra second.
            On Monday when I got up I wasn’t groggy as I often am on waking. This was a sign that my fast had entered its second phase. This is something that I’ve noticed over the thirty-eight years that I’ve been doing this annual fast. On the fourth day I start feeling light. I sleep deeply and wake up fully awake and yet I’m not full of energy. I feel like a ghost.
            On my way out I saw my across the west hall neighbour standing in front of his door with his arms full of electrical equipment, a power cord and some duct tape. He looked at me a little sadly and told me he was moving out. I reached out my hand and told him that it had been nice having him as a neighbour. He struggled shift the cord and the tape over to his left arm and then shook my hand, saying, “Respect!” He told me he had some bottles for me and I said I’d pick them up out back later on. I asked him if he’d found a better place and he said, “I think so.” Though he didn’t sound entirely convincing. “I’m tired of this bullshit!” he declared. I nodded and opined that his bachelor was a little small, but he just scowled and pointed his finger directly above him at the apartment of Caesar, the old Italian guy who was here before either he or I, to indicate that that was the bullshit he was tired of. Caesar is a complainer about a lot of things, and I recall that he’s complained to me a few times about my across the hall neighbour’s lack of cleanliness. My neighbour seems to drink a lot, judging from all the empty, large sized liquor bottles he’s given me over the years. He used to have a lot of parties in the wee hours of the morning with Indian pop music blasting and lots of cooking and sometimes burning of food. He used to spend a lot of time out on the deck in the summer with his friends, but over the last year he seems to have kept to himself. There was a loud knock on the front door to which he growled, “Fuck off!” and explained, “That’s the mover.” As I followed him with my bike down the stairs he complained angrily that, “Some people think they own this building.” I suggested that Caesar has milked a sense of privilege from having been here through three landlords. He said, “I don’t give a fuck about that!” as he opened the door to the tall, innocent looking, friendly mover. I squeezed my bike and myself out the door, wished him luck and went to work.
            I posed for Peter Chan on the top floor of OCADU and on my breaks read a little bit of Heidegger’s “Letter on Humanism”. Language is the loving caretaker of thought, or something like that. After the halftime break there suddenly came a sound like a torrent was blasting against the windows. I felt the stage shaking underneath me. During my next break I looked outside and it looked like a blizzard had cut loose from the sky. I was dreading riding home in it but then when I looked outside on my next break there was no trace of a storm.
            After work I went to unlock my bike and was surprised to find that the seat was dry. The pencil box that sits on top of the old OCA building extends to above the inner edge of the sidewalk. Though my bike was not directly under the canopy, the wind had been blowing from the west and so the extension blocked it from getting to my bike.
            It must have been a pretty strong wind because a lot of the cardboard that had been put out for recycling in the neighbourhood that evening got blown into the street. One wet and dirty curled up piece between the streetcar tracks looked like the carcass of a dog.
            I stopped at Freshco on the way home and picked up a lot of fruit and avocadoes. I bought a few things that I wouldn’t normally buy if I wasn’t fasting, such as a mini seedless watermelon and something I don’t think I’ve ever bought: a honey pomelo. I didn’t buy any bananas because I was so bored with them but I bought apples, globe grapes, mangoes and seven and a half litres of real orange juice. I had unloaded everything onto the checkout belt but then I realized just as the cashier was going to ring my items up, that I’d forgotten the avocadoes, so I started to put everything back in the basket. But the cashier told me she’d wait for me while I went to get them. I was really surprised by the final price of almost seventy dollars though.
            Shortly after coming home I was curious about the taste of the honey pomelo, so I tore open the red netting around it and peeled off the shrink-wrap under that. It looked like a very large, slightly oblong grapefruit. I cut it open to discover that it’s mostly a very thick skin and that it tasted nothing like honey, but was in fact not as sweet or flavourful as many grapefruit that I’ve had. What a waste of $3.99!
            I watched “La Chute de la Maison Usher”, which was Jean Epstein’s 1928 silent film adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Fall of the House of Usher”. The overall story was disappointing because it deviated drastically from the original. Madeline was not Roderick’s sister and lover but just his wife, and on top of that everyone lived in the end. What was great about the film was the cinematography and the spooky, nerve wracking avante garde musical soundtrack, perhaps by Ivan Fedele, that was added to the film many years later.

            Just before going to bed early, I was taking the cat poop out to the sealed bucket I keep for it on the deck, and when I opened the back door it clinked loudly against several of the bottles that my neighbour had left for me. I carried some of them back to my place and was coming back for more when my next-door neighbour opened his door because he’d been wondering where the noise had come from. He may have just been looking for someone to gossip with because he immediately started talking about our neighbour that had just moved out. He said that the landlord had asked him to leave because his place was so filthy it had been impossible to enter.

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