Queen Victoria Colonizes the Moon

           

            On the morning of Monday, May 23^rd, a guy stood in the Dollarama parking lot eating his breakfast and coffee from the donut shop with a back of his car as a table, while reading a book.

            I heard the Star Trek theme music outside my window, but then later it sounded like “Hey Jude”. I looked out my window and saw a guy playing an erhu in front of the Dollarama. It seemed to me that the two pieces of music go well together. I thought that maybe “Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing” would also fit.

            I watched a couple of episodes of Have Gun Will Travel. The second episode had Charles Bronson once again as an outlaw. He sure got killed by a lot of TV stars.

The third episode of the first season was interesting. Paladin entered a race across the Mohave Desert with a camel as his transportation. There was a bit of a history lesson here because I learned that the US army had attempted to use camels for crossing US deserts, but the experiment had failed. According to the character, Paladin, it failed because the US cavalry tried to use the camels off the sand as well.

On the night of Monday, May 23, Victoria Day, I rode under a popping and whistling sky to the Annex. I arrived at the Tranzac while Chris Banks’s Happy Hour was going on. Chris was playing in a trio this time, made up of his double bass, various wind instruments and the house piano. When I came in they were playing Mal Waldron’s “Soul Eyes” without the lyrics. Chris seemed to be in his element and his hands were all over that bass of his.

I signed up and got a fairly early spot, though not first or second, which were open but too early for me. No MSG came in and he was glad to hear from me that there were early slots on the list, since he hasn’t played on the open stage for the last several weeks because of getting there too late.

Erik Sedore arrived, and after signing up and getting a pint, he sat down at my table. He told me that he’d biked to the Tranzac this time from his home in Etobicoke.

No MSG came and stood to talk to us until I invited him to sit. He told me that he’d been reading earlier that day from a Canadian Poetry anthology that featured Irving Layton, Leonard Cohen and A. M. Klein. One poem by Cohen that stood out in his mind was one in which each verse names a different kind of Jew, such as “a ghetto Jew”. I’d forgotten this poem, but it’s from his second book of poems, “The Spice Box of Earth”. The poem No MSG mentioned is called “The Genius”. In each of the six verses, Cohen describes a different stereotype of Jew – “For you I will be a ghetto Jew … and poison wells across town … I will be an apostate Jew and tell the Spanish priest of the blood vow in the Talmud and where the bones of the child are hid … I will be a banker Jew and bring to ruin a proud old hunting king and end his line … I will be a Broadway Jew and cry in theatres for my mother and sell bargain goods beneath the counter … I will be a doctor Jew and search in all the garbage cans for foreskins to sew back on again … I will be a Dachau Jew and lie down in lime with twisted limbs and bloated pain no man can understand.”

The open stage started just five minutes late, with special host Abigail Lapell. Abigail told us that she hosts the open stage on the third Monday of every five Monday month.

Since this was Victoria Day, Abigail wanted to know if anybody knew anything about Queen Victoria. She said that she thinks that Canada is the only country that has a holiday that celebrates her birthday. I commented that I think Australia also honours her birthday, but they do so on her actual birthday rather than the Monday before May 25^th. Later though, when I looked this up, I saw that I was wrong. Australia celebrates the birthday of Queen Elizabeth II because she is the current living monarch of the British Commonwealth. Abigail is correct that Canada is the only country that has made a holiday out of Victoria’s birthday. Abigail though, took my comment as possibly true and added that Victoria liberated the colonies. That seemed like an odd thing to say, considering that under her reign the British Empire expanded to become the largest empire in the history of the world.

Sarah Greene was helping Abigail set up and suddenly there was a loud electronic popping sound. No MSG called out, “I love the sound of amp in the evening!” Someone else observed that it sounded like fireworks.

I had never seen Sarah with an electric guitar before, but she had strapped one on that she said she’d found in a box upstairs. As she tuned the instrument, she commented that she is “normally flat. It’s so nice to be sharp!”

Abigail, for an opening song, accompanied Sarah, who played her fireworks song on electric guitar with the help of Ben Bootsma (introduced as “Ben Veneer”) on the piano. I was surprised by the name change. Erik told me that it seems to be a new thing. When I think about it, in terms of a stage name, Ben Veneer has a better ring to it. But first, Abigail asked about those cigar fireworks that do nothing but burn into a worm of ashes, “What’s up with that?” She was talking about “black snake fireworks”. Personally I think all fireworks are pretty boring, but I can understand why the one she described might take the prize.

From Sarah’s song – “ … Kids have got their sparklers sparkin, in the park the dogs are barkin …”

Then our host did a tribute to Prince with a heartfelt and powerful rendition of his song, “Nothing Compares 2 U” – “It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away, I go out every night and I sleep all day … I went to the doctor and guess what he told me … He said girl you’ve got to try to have fun no matter what you do, but he’s fool, because nothing compares to you … The flowers that you planted in the back yard all died when you went away …” Abigail has a very strong voice.

The first performer on the open mic, for the first time in several weeks, was No MSG. With the lights turned down for him as usual, he started off with an improvisation on Scott Joplin’s Ragtime composition, “The Entertainer” the tempo of which he would suddenly change in odd moments back and forth between very slow and very fast. He began to sing non-verbal lines that were variations on “Bup bah bah bup bah bay” and  “Lie la la lo lo lo” and continued for a minute or so until he gave the piece a soft finish.

For the second part of his set, No MSG stood up and walked over to the electric guitar, a meter away where it was leaning against the wall. As he stood over it he said, “And now … do I have permission?” Sarah said it was okay, so he picked it up like he’d found it under the tree on Christmas morning. He sat down with it at centre stage, asked for the lights to be slightly up from dark. He fiddled with the instrument and scatted for a short while and then he was satisfied.

The next performer was written on the list as Jose Res. He borrowed Ben Veneer’s guitar and explained that he was travelling in Canada for the first time from Latin America He told us that he had been in the other room with his friend and that he’d heard the music and this was where he wanted to be. He said that they don’t have open mics in his country and they are one of his favourite things to have discovered while travelling here.

From Jose’s first song – “A long, long time ago, I can still remember severe damage … all around the land … Your eyes see everything and you do nothing …”

For Jose’s second song he moved to the piano. He explained that he is, “trying to write songs in English, but not complete, so some in English and some ‘ta da da da’” – “ … There’s no sunshine since you’re gone … I’ve left my heart in a part of you … I don’t need no worries because everything is happy in my life …” He whistled for the rest of the song.

After Jose, was John P, who said that he hadn’t thought anyone would show up on Victoria Day.

John started with what he calls his song made of non-sequiturs – “ … Take me down real fast and let me die real slow … She said your heart is a house but your heart is not a home … She said I once was your rock but now I’m sinking like a stone …”

John told us that his second song would be one he did the week before, because he hardly ever does it. The song asks the question, at the end of each verse, “Would it be so bad if you told him your mind.”

Then it was Ben Veneer’s turn, and he went to the piano to play an original – “On the most lonely night, the memory of your confidence and the reasons that were common sense …” At one point he sang in a falsetto – “We all wear the same thorny crown … the people that you chose were the same as the ones that you let down …” Ben told us that he’d just finished writing the song the day before.

Ben then picked up his guitar and sat at centre stage to sing, “Here Am I Oh Lord, Send Me”, a traditional gospel song that I’ve heard him so before – “ … Who will go and work today? Oh the fields are ripe and the harvest’s waiting …” I think these harvest metaphors are about evangelizing and harvesting souls for “god”.

I was number five on the list, and started with “Time of Yeah Yeah Yeah”, which is my translation of Serge Gainsbourg’s “Le Temps Des Yoyos” – “ … If I must fight my melancholy, why treat it like I’ve a retched malady …”

For my second song, I once again tried my song, “Paranoiac Utopia”, but this time I experimented with using the microphone, since I have a problem getting volume out of my voice with that song. The problem with the microphone is that it amplifies mistakes as well. I also dropped my pick in mid song, said, “Sorry!”, bent over to pick it up and then continued. I’m starting to think that I have stage fright, but only relating to my guitar playing. When there is a crowd made up of musicians, my mind can’t seem to get my hands to form the guitar chords that I can easily handle at home.

Next was Erik Sedore, who set up his first offering by telling us about a trip to New York City that he took with his friend Zoe. They visited the Brooklyn Art Library where they have The Sketchbook Project. One can buy a blank sketchbook from the library (their site says it costs $28.00 US). One then fills the sketchbook and sends it back to the library where it becomes part of their permanent collection. It is also professionally scanned and one is given an online link to one’s own book. Erik used his sketchbook to make a comic book, and since, as he informed us, this was World Turtle Day (and it was, I looked it up), Erik read for us the script from his comic – “ … a nest dug beneath the sand … most get nabbed before they reach the surf … One young hatchling gets turned around, catches a ride into town … He buys a one way ticket and flies to Manhattan …” Erik goes on to relate how the turtle gets a job in New York as a sushi chef and eventually becomes a master of the art. He later though becomes homesick for the ocean and returns – “ … He swims with the whales with the kids in their bellies …” He comes across a bale of turtles that have gotten trapped in a net. He takes out his sushi knives and cuts them all free – “ … He is hailed as a saviour … A turtle never really leaves home, he carries it with him wherever he goes …”

When Erik had finished the story, No MSG shouted out enthusiastically, “I’ll buy that comic book, even if it costs fifty bucks!”

For the second part of his set, Erik borrowed a guitar and played a song called “The Lizard”, and although Erik didn’t say so, judging from the lyrics I think it’s fairly certain that it’s based on the character that is one of Spider Man’s oldest foes – “It takes a long time to make up my mind, but I’m gonna, but when I do I’ll pass right through without you knowing, something I’ve lacked, I can’t grow back, something missing … To keep them safe I could not face my family, I left no trace and went to raise a reptile army … I’ll be in the swamp if you want to get to know me … my green skin, your webs can’t hold me … Somewhere inside there’s someone who cried whenever I hurt you …”

Following Erik was Isabel Fishburn, who commented that the atmosphere was very nice in the room, like a cozy little campfire.

Isabel and Abigail did a duet of the Dolly Parton song, “Jolene” – “ … I’m begging of you please don’t take my man … please don’t take him just because you can … I cannot compete with you, Jolene … You could have your choice of men but I could never love again …”

Of Isabel’s second cover, she told us that she’d thought she’d been familiar with all of Hank Williams’s songs, until she heard “No One Will Ever Know” at a Ry Cooder concert – “ … No one will ever know my heart is breaking … I’ll cry myself to sleep and wake up smiling … I’ll tell them we grew tired of each other … I’ll even make believe I never loved you …”

Isabel had been the last performer on the list and so Abigail Lapell took to the stage for one last song. I don’t think she is used to sitting down while playing. Though she was wearing a skirt that went below her knees, she expressed concern that she might be showing her “junk”. Sarah told her that she wasn’t but could if she wanted to, to which Abigail replied, “Well, of course I want to!” She said she just wanted to do it in an appropriate way. She sang a song of her own called “Black and Blue” – “ … I would be there if you want me to … Would you be there when the day is through … Couldn’t tear you up, tear you down, inside out, upside down …”

            As I was packing up to leave, No MSG, who had left quite a while before, came back in to tell us that there was a brown out along the nearest stretch of Bloor Street and that the almost full moon could be seen very clearly. There was indeed a stretch of darkness that went as far as Bathurst, but I think the moon was behind me as I headed west. Although it was a warm night, riding past the Christie Pits was like going through a tomb.