Happily Homeless

            On Wednesday morning I dreamed that I was deliberately homeless. I’d renounced society and had just taken up wandering the world. I didn’t experience any hardship whatsoever from this life. I seemed though to be an entirely different person. I had long curly hair and wore loose fitting, very colourful clothing. Perhaps they were robes.

            A few months ago I received a package of carrot muffin mix from the food bank, but only this morning did I finally open it. I decided that it would be easier just to use it to make carrot cake rather than muffins, so I just poured it after it was batter into a rectangular Pyrex dish and baked it longer than the directions called for. It turned out pretty good for something that just needs water added.

            I checked online and found that my social assistance payment had been deposited a day earlier than the phone service had indicated. So in the early afternoon I rode down to King and Dufferin to the Bank of Montreal to take everything out of my account except for what would cover the monthly service charge, plus a dollar. After sticking my card in the little keypad machine and punching my key I asked the young teller with the fancy bejewelled manicure to give me $665 with $500 in hundred dollar bills. She gave me six one hundred dollar bills. I told her that I only wanted five one hundred dollar bills so she said I would have to put my card back in the machine so she could re-deposit the money. That seemed strange but I dug my wallet out of my backpack again, took out my card and did what she asked. Then she handed me only five one hundred dollar bills. I asked, “Where’s the rest of the money?” She answered that I’d said I’d only wanted $500.  I was suddenly frustrated as I explained that I had told her that I wanted $665 with $500 of that in $100s. I think that I recall a few months ago when she was brand new that I had a similar mix-up with that same teller. No one else but her has ever misunderstood my request.

            I went home and counted out what I needed for rent and my phone. I also wanted to give something of a donation to Bike Pirates, so I put aside $5 and that left me with $35 for groceries. I rode out to Freshco. They had a lot of fruit on display outside. It didn’t look like anyone was watching it so I wonder if anyone ever helps themselves. There was a bin of watermelon in the sun by the door. The price was $2.77 and so I went over check them out. The one I picked up felt cooked, so I put it back down and went inside where cooler melons prevailed at the same price. It seems pretty lame brained to stick watermelons out in the heat.

            What I needed most of all was toilet paper and they happened to have six double rolls of Cashmere for $1.99. They also had six ultra Sponge Towels on sale for $4.97. Two rolls would have cost me $2.99, so it made sense to spend the extra. I got a watermelon, some grapes and a few Ontario apples. I grabbed a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread, a pack of ground beef, three bags of milk, a small tub of margarine and two containers of zero fat yogourt. I had $1.30 left over.

            It looked cool and cloudy out in the late afternoon with a possibility of rain, plus I had a review to work on so I didn’t take a bike ride.