Julie London

            On Monday afternoon I did my taxes right on the deadline and found out I’ll be getting almost $400 back.

I went for a bike ride shortly after that and it was such a warm day that I just wore my tank top with an open shirt over it. I’d planned on riding out to the Danforth, perhaps halfway through Greek Town but at University I got a flat tire. I took the subway to Queen and tried to get on the streetcar but the driver told me that I’d have to wait till after rush hour, which would be 20 more minutes. So I sat on a flat protrusion from the wrought iron fence and waited. The first tram that came by just after 18:00 was too crowded, so I took the short one behind it. I stood with my bike for the whole trip next to a pretty young woman with dark hair that she kept playing with. On the lap of an older woman sitting in one of the back seats was a nasty little dog that would periodically start viciously growling at people and the woman would give it a treat to calm it down. I wonder if it was just growling to get treats.

When I got off the streetcar I went immediately to Bike Pirates but found there was a big line-up and was told that it would be at least an hour wait, so I put my name on the list and went home to do some writing. After about 45 minutes I went back to check the list and was told that since I only had a flat I could take stand #1.

I detached the back tire and removed the tube. I partially inflated the tube so I could submerge it in water and see where the bubbles were coming up, but as soon as the tube had air in it I could feel it blowing on my face.

Tim got me a new tube but when he had a look at my tire he observed that it had gotten dry and that might have been why I’d gotten a puncture. He advised me to get another tire so I went to the basement but couldn’t find any that were 700 x 32. I brought one up that was 700 x 35 and the guy at the desk said that size would fit but that the tire I’d picked was only a little less dry than the other. I decided to buy a new one. Tim put some baby powder inside before I put the new tube in. According to Sheldon Brown, putting talcum, cornstarch or baby powder between the tube and the tire on a bike has no benefit whatsoever. He says it’s one of those things cyclists do to imitate car and truck tire maintenance. It works for motor vehicles because those tires generate heat and the powder keeps the tire and tube from becoming vulcanized. Since bicycle tires don’t get that hot there is no point to using talcum.

I had a hard time putting my tire back on the rim. I worked for several minutes and it seemed impossible but then suddenly it was on and I don’t know what I did that was any different. I also always have a hard time lining up the back tire properly when it’s on a stand, whereas if I have the bike upside down and use my feet for leverage I have very little problem. Tim did it for me this time.

I paid for the new tire and tube and put an extra $8 in for a donation.

That night I watched an Alfred Hitchcock Hour teleplay starring Peter Lawford as an engineer named Ernie who is the plant manager for a big company with the safe in his office, and who has a beautiful secretary named Barbara (played by Julie London), who is also his lover. Ernie has been stealing money from the safe. Barbara has started to become colder to him at work. At one point after she rejects both kisses and money from him, he asks, “Can you explain something to me?” “Lots of things. But not now.” They arrange to meet that night and again he tries to kiss her. She reminds him that he’s a married man and a thief. “You’re gonna get in a lot of trouble.” “Don’t worry about it!” “Did I say I was worried?” Barbara goes back to her desk but soon buzzes him to tell him his boss, Mr. Baldwin wants to see him. Baldwin tells him they’re planning a new phase and he doesn’t think Ernie has the muscle to take the great leap forward. He demotes Ernie to cost estimator and tells him that he is replacing him with his brother, Farnum (played by Roger C. Carmel, who played Harry Mudd on the original Star Trek series. Carmel was tall, bald, and overweight with a handlebar moustache). Ernie got Farnum the job at the company and has also let him freeload off of him and his wife, Judy. “He’s only been here two years!” “He’s a tiger!”
            Ernie goes home and tells Farnum to get out. “All right.” “Right now!” “Oh come on, don’t mimic some bad play you read in high school!” Ernie attacks his brother, but Farnum easily throws him to the floor. Ernie gets up and charges again but he gets flipped by Farnum with a judo throw. While Ernie is lying on the floor, Judy and Farnum walk side by side to stand over him. They squat to speak to him. Farnum says, “Judy loves me. She’s leaving you for me.” Judy says, “Now pussycat. Right now.” They walk away together.

That night Erie goes to Barbara’s apartment. He asks her, “What does my brother have that I don’t?” “It’s time you should know. He has all the qualities of a rat. He’s self-centred, greedy, cunning and calculating. Do you know what else he is?” “Hm?” “Fascinating!” “Huh?” “Cruel! Exciting!” “My brother’s the biggest flab! Why, compared to him …” “You’re nothing.” “You’re kidding!” “Being with Farnum is like living on the edge of a slide area!” “Being with him?” “He opens his heart like most people open a door.” “Being with him?” “I love him! Oh, how I love him! Maybe there’ll be pain, but I’ll feel it and know I’m alive!”  "He went off with my wife tonight!” “I’ll wait for him! He’s just having his little fling! That’s what makes him the exciting man he is! He’s evil and he shatters me!” Ernie goes to see Farnum in what used to be his own office. “I should’ve killed you when you were fifteen when I had the chance with that shotgun we borrowed.” “You’d have missed. Point blank. That’s the story of your life. I agree, you should have killed me when I was fifteen years old!”
            A day or so later Ernie comes into Farnum’s office and kills him with a metal pipe, and then he locks him in the safe, taking $5000 with him. He cleans everything up and has an alibi. At first the police are satisfied with his answers. But Ernie always wears a rose in his lapel and one of the petals was found in the safe.