Jayne Eastwood

            On Friday morning I finished working out the chords for “S.S. in Uruguay” by Serge Gainsbourg and ran through it in English and French.

            I got caught up on my journal.

            Thirty years ago today I weighed 81 kilos and today I’m at 90 kilos.

            For lunch I had grapes, a tomato and avocado salad without dressing, a banana and a glass of orange juice.

            I received a general email about all in person undergraduate classes being cancelled at U of T until our exams. I assumed that meant no more lectures or tutorials but I emailed my TA just in case.

            Our research paper is due to be uploaded on Monday at midnight. If I don’t need to hand in a physical paper to Safia in tutorial then that gives me more time. On top of that we were told that there would be a one time only grace period for one of our assignments and so I’ve asked for that free extension for this paper. There was no specification however as to how long the extension would be and so I’ve asked for a confirmation. She emailed back later that classes are definitely cancelled but it doesn’t look she read my other question. I asked it again and later she told me that the amount of extra time wasn’t specified by White but she thinks no more than a week. Wow! I didn’t expect an extra week. I was thinking more like a day but maybe I’ll need two. I don’t want to spend too much of my life on this essay.

            I also found out that classes have been cancelled at OCADU and so my one booking at the end of March must be shuttered as well. I think I get paid anyway but I’ll have to check on that.

            I almost finished reading Federal Indian Day Schools of the Maritimes. Whether or not a school was a success seemed to be a dice roll since the government often was too cheap to pay certified teachers.

            I had a tomato and avocado salad while watching the second part of  “Once Upon a Giant” starring Wayne and Shuster. The gags were funnier this time and there were some Canadian references.

            Lester and the Humphrey’s plan to help the prince and princess elope has been calculated down to the last detail except that Lester puts the ladder at the king’s window instead of that of Princess Marigold. They are all arrested. Daryl is banished and Lester and Humphrey are sentenced to the dungeon. The king also tells Lester that he is fired as court jester. Lester asks, “You mean I’m nobody’s fool?” They ask for a lawyer and the king says he’s waiting in the dungeon. The lawyer is a skeleton chained to the wall. As they are trying to figure out how to escape the good witch appears. She says, “When nice people are in trouble I always appear magically and help them.” Lester asks, “Where were you when the Blue Jays needed you?” She frees them from the prison and gives them two items to help capture the giant. One is a book of clues and the other is a magic ring for summoning her. Rubbing the ring must be accompanied by a certain rhyme. They follow the clues to the cave of McDermott the hermit. When McDermott makes a joke Lester grabs him and says, “I’m the jester!” McDermott says, “Please, you’re bending my Order of Canada!” On their way through the woods to the giant’s castle Lester and Humphrey see Little Red Riding Hood skipping through the forest. They stop her and warn her not to go to grandma’s house. She tells them she’s already been there. Lester asks, “What have you got in the basket?” She answers, “The wolf.” Lester says, “Farley Mowat will be furious!” When they try to call the good witch Lester gets the rhyme wrong which conjures her sister the bad witch. Lester says he didn’t know there was more than one kind of witch. She says there are good witches and bad witches but there are also witches that live in the ocean and they are called “water witches". Lester asks, “What about witches that live in the desert? Are they called sandwiches?” She turns Humphrey into a donkey but Lester tricks her into saying the correct rhyme that conjures her sister, so saves Humphrey and sends the bad witch away. She tells them they have to borrow a magic carpet from the Siamese sorcerer Dhing Dhong. The carpet has bucket seats and a steering wheel.

            The bad witch was played by Jayne Eastwood who was one of the original members of Second City and appeared on SCTV several times. She played Betty in the classic Canadian film Goin Down the Road. She’s now one quarter of the comedy troupe Women Fully Clothed and is starring in the CBC web series “Hey Lady!"