Julie Adams

            On Tuesday morning the snowstorm was just ending. I opened my living room window and saw a row of cute little icicles hanging down from the top of the frame like vampire fangs or uneven glass bangs. Probably because opening the window sucked the wind in, the icicles fell together with a crunch within the first five minutes of yoga. 

            I found and copied one set of chords for “Mozart avec nous” (Mozart Is With Us) by Boris Vian. I’ll look for some more on Wednesday. 

            I finished working out the chords for “Dépressive" by Serge Gainsbourg and ran through the song in French and English before uploading it to Christian's Translations to begin the editing process. 

            I took a siesta at 12:30. 

            I had kettle chips, salsa and yogourt for lunch. 

            The streets were way too messy after the storm for me to take a bike ride so I did some exercises while listening to season four (1954), episode 25 of The Goon Show. 

            This story was a spy thriller entitled “The Silent Bugler.” Today in the United States Senate Senator Vanderschmidt said, “Mumblemumble ... House of Un-American Activities … Jane Mansfield ... The Russian attack on East Manitoba." Then in our House of Commons the prime minister said, “Tea?" Seagoon: "I am X2. My mission started when I was called to HQMI5. I'd hardly got on the train for London when I had the uneasy feeling I was being watched. “Tickets please.” "Here you are." "This ticket's from Piccadilly to Hyde Park." "It's an old Welsh joke. Now here's my ticket." "This ticket's from 1902.” "We're running late." "And it's for the Brighton to London stagecoach." "You mean this train isn't horse drawn? I demand my money back.” “You gotta pay for the ticket. Where did you get on?” "Thung Junction." "We didn't stop there." "You think it was easy?" "Where are you going?" "The next station." "Right, that'll be eighteen shillings and thruppence.” "There you are." "Fool. Little does he know that the real fare is thirty two pounds, three shillings." "Little does he know I have nothing to do with the railway.” At MI5 M asks Seagoon, "Have you ever been to Russia?" "No." "Have you ever been to Moscow?" "Yes." Colonel Spundle Clacknutt explains, "The Russians have perfected a time machine. They could go to the future and build planes faster than the speed of light. They must be stopped.” M takes Seagoon to Mr Crun who shows him a photo of the Russian master spy Igor Blimey, who has escaped from every prison camp in Europe. “There’s nothing on this photo." "He's escaped again! Next there is the second most hated man in Russia, Jack Benny.” “They too?" "But now the most deadly agent of all. The Silent Bugler. Here is a record of him." “I can’t hear anything." "That's him! If you ever hear nothing, look out!" Seagoon is sent to Bloodnok for training. "Here black your face up with this cork, put on this straw hat and take this banjo.” "Will this fool the Russians?" "Russians? Take that stuff off! It's a good job you came to me! I have the very outfit. One ginger beard with detachable bells, one pair of reversible plastic socks easily convertible into dog cardigan, one pair of false cardboard skis, one wicker teapot with underwater escape apparatus." Max Geldray plays, “I Kiss Your Hand Madame." 

            Bluebottle arrives. Seagoon says "I understand you have a secret weapon for me." "Unscrews false kneecap, takes out secret gun, am in agony because have not got false kneecaps. It is my backshot pistol.” "Whoever fires this pistol gets killed?" "You give it to an enemy, he aims it at you and then gets deaded." "How does it work?" ”You point it at me and pull the trigger." "Like this." "No, point it at yourself." “Bang!” “You've punctured my Flash Gordon bullet-proof space vest with cardboard lapels!” Seagoon was taken to a submerged airport where he was given air linctus for his nerves which he had unfortunately brought with him. The loudspeaker announces: “Will passengers with disguised MI5 tickets for mystery flight X please inflate their false wigs and proceed to the plane.” "Passports please. Name sir?" "Fifi Labonbon, male impressionist. On the plane Minnie is the flight attendant. "Captain Seagoon you must fasten your belt.” "Why?" "Your trousers are coming down." Ray Ellington sings “I'm Beginning to See the Light." Seagoon, Bloodnok and Eccles are dropped into enemy territory. They open their sealed orders. Seagoon’s says "Bloodnok is standing in front of you", Bloodnok's says "Seagoon is standing in front of you" and Eccles' says, “Beat two eggs, add four ounces of …” The telephone rings. “Don't answer! It's ringing in Russian." "I'll put on this false beard." On the other end M says, "Take off that silly beard. The Silent Bugler knows where the time machine is. He is at the Dresden Opera House.” At the opera house the music seemed to repeat. Bloodnok says “I didn't notice and I know Wagner backwards." "They're not playing it backwards." "That accounts for it." Seagoon: "The Silent Bugler doesn't exist. The orchestra are phoneys. They’re miming to a phonograph record.” They find the time machine under the theatre and blow it up but are captured by Ellington who says it was only a decoy. “Curse! Foiled by our own stupidity and a bad script!” Bloodnok is wearing red flannel underwear and gets Seagoon to pull his pants down so Ellington will think it's the Russian flag and salute. He does so and they disarm him. Ellington says "Don't shoot! I'm a white Russian!" There seem to be two alternative endings from different broadcasts. They end up escaping from the Russians in the time machine but we won’t know what happened until 1984. 

            I felt sleepy again and took another one hour nap. I wonder why I’m sleeping so much. Is it my age? Apparently it is normal for seniors to sleep a little more. I tend to sleep five hours or less at night and during the day an hour and a half. Adding on to that the extra hour I’ve been throwing in recently and it's still seven and a half hours or less, which is below average for most people. It's more than I'm used to but when I put it into perspective it doesn’t seem like anything to be concerned about. 

            I finished re-reading “The Machine Stops" by E. M. Forster and it was just as depressing the second time around. 

            I re-read “The Mark on the Wall” and “Modern Fiction" by Virginia Woolf. She was such a great writer! 

            I had a potato, gravy and the rest of the egg I’d cooked in the casserole on Sunday from the carton of liquid eggs. The eggs were so substantial that I was too full for dessert. That’s the last of any meat or eggs I’ll be eating until Easter. I ate dinner while watching Andy Griffith. 

            In this story the pretty county nurse Mary Simpson comes to Andy and Barney with the problem of Rafe Hollister. She wants to inoculate the farmers in Rafe’s area for tetanus and she anticipates they might be shy about it. She figures that since Rafe is somewhat of a leader among them, if she can get him to take his shot then the rest will follow. There is clearly some romantic chemistry between Mary and Andy and so he is especially enthusiastic about her cause. He takes her up to Rafe’s farm but he refuses to get the needle. Barney thinks he can do better and so he takes Mary back up to Rafe’s place only to get shot at a few times. When Andy hears Rafe is shooting at people he has to arrest him. Even though Rafe is firing Andy walks right up and takes his gun away from him. Once Rafe is in jail Andy presents him with a future scenario in which he will be a dead hero for dying of tetanus and inspiring everyone else to get their shots. He even sings for him the traditional folk song “Dig My Grave With a Silver Spade” and promises to sing it at his funeral. Finally Rafe says he doesn’t want to die and asks Andy to bring Mary in to give him his shot. He promises to get all the other farmers lined up to be inoculated as well. Mary checks Rafe off her list but suddenly notices that Barney hasn’t been checked off. The final scene shows Barney panicking about the needle. 

            Mary was played by Julie Adams, who was Miss Little Rock, Arkansas of 1945. At 19 she moved out to California to live with her aunt and uncle while trying to make it in Hollywood. Her first films were “Red Hot and Blue” and “The Dalton Gang” in 1949. In 1952 she co-starred with Jimmy Stewart in “Bend in the River”. She was mostly stuck as the leading lady in westerns. In 1953 she played the heroine in the cult classic “The Creature from the Black Lagoon.” After her contract with Universal expired she moved on to television and was a successful guest star on many popular shows. She had a regular role on Murder She Wrote.