John Ashley

            On Friday morning I published my adaptation of "Sans blague" (No Joke?) by Boris Vian on Christian's Translations. I still need to post it on my Boris Vian fan page on Facebook. 

            I finished memorizing "Partie perdue" (Losing Leaving) by Serge Gainsbourg. I looked for the chords but no one had posted them and so I started working them out for the intro. 

            It was foggy last night and this morning again. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos before breakfast. 

            I worked on making notes for my Grendel essay while struggling to stay awake: 

            Beowulf thinks of possessions and wealth even as he anticipates death. The craft work of giants is superior to what humans could make and so it is coveted. Why did Grendel's mother not use the ancient sword on her wall to fight Beowulf? Did she, like her son, prefer more intimate combat at close quarters? Or was the sword sacred to her and so she was loath to soil its blade on human flesh? The sword that is the emblem of giant history dissolves when touched by the blood of the last of the giants. The giants value art over treasure and booty. They valued their history and wrote it on a sword. 

            I weighed 85.4 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            The hallway door has been difficult to open lately because the latch bolt only goes in the latch when the knob is turned hard towards the door. We are used to turning it out and so it feels like it's sticking. When I got home I'd had enough and so I put some duct tape over the latch bolt. Now it's easy to open. 

            I weighed 84.9 kilos at 17:10, which is the lightest I've been at that time in a week. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:10. 

            I did the grammar quiz that was due on Saturday at 14:00. There was a notice this morning that Quercus will be down for maintenance on Saturday between 12:00 and 16:00 so I thought I'd better get it done today. Most of the questions were fairly easy but the ones about object compliments and such were more difficult to figure out. At first I got 89%, then I took it again and got 96%, then 97% twice until finally on the fifth try I got them all right. Now I can focus on my Medieval Literature essay. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a slice of roast pork while watching episode 35 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            Milburn Drysdale's secretary Jane Hathaway is sick. Jethro tells her on the phone that Granny will come over and treat her but Jane tells him she already has a doctor because she has sick benefits. Jethro thinks that "sick benefits" is the name of Jane's illness and he says it must be catching because almost everybody that works at Drysdale's bank has sick benefits. 

            Meanwhile Drysdale is stressed because he's scheduled to make a speech that day to the Bankers' Convention and Jane was supposed to write his speech. Jed is concerned that his friend Mr. Drysdale might be short handed so he goes and asks him if there's anything he needs. Drysdale says he just needs a secretary, a new doctor, a speech, and someone to do his work. So Jed goes home and puts on his 19th Century suit, Elly puts on a pretty dress, Jethro copies the Gettysburg address from a book, and Granny prepares some medicine. 

            When Jethro tells Granny about the Confederate General Lee surrendering to the Union General Grant, she refuses to accept it. She says Lee thought Grant was a blacksmith and only handed him his sword to sharpen it. 

            Back at the bank a hip and ambitious but lecherous and self-serving new teller named Bob Billington comes to Drysdale to offer him a secretary named Kitty Northcross from the secretarial pool. Bob's purpose is to get in both Kitty's and Drysdale's good graces, but Drysdale is familiar with the attractive but inefficient Kitty and says forget it. Bob uses a bunch of nautical references to allude to the bank as a ship and the president as the skipper. After Bob leaves Drysdale writes those down for his speech. 

            Jed, Elly, and Jethro arrive at Drysdale's office while he's on his way to the convention. Jethro hands him his speech and Drysdale thinks it's the one he just wrote but it's the Gettysburg Address. Drysdale leaves not realizing that they are planning on taking over for him. 

            Jed sits at Drysdale's desk and when he gets a phone call he says, "Hi there, you need money? Well come right on over and get it!" 

            Meanwhile Bob brings Kitty into Jane's office. Jed sends Elly out to Jane's office. As soon as Bob sees Elly he sends Kitty away. He whistles at Elly and Elly whistles back. Bob says, "Suppose I drop over to your place tonight?" Elly says, "Well, fine!" "Here's the action, I swing by your pad about 19:00. I bring some Bossa Nova records and we trample a few grapes. Then we blast off to the local coffee shop, then we swing back to your pad for a little moon orbit, you dig?" "Whenever pa goes fishin I dig his worms." 

            At the convention, Drysdale starts his speech but only realizes after the first lines that he has the Gettysburg address. He ad libs and applies the speech to banking and it's a big success. 

           Back at the bank a sad looking man named Wilson comes to see Jed. Wilson is trying to borrow money to save his chicken ranch and he's been turned down by all the other banks. Without hesitation Jed says he'll lend him the money. Wilson is shocked and says, "But I'm poor and have no security!" "Ain't no shame being poor as long as you're honest!" "But how do you know I'm honest?" "If you wasn't you'd be telling me about how much you got instead of what you ain't got!" Wilson asks for $5000 and is surprised to get it. 

            When Bob Billington hears about Jed giving out $5000 he figures he's a soft touch and so he goes to ask him for $10,000 for his fake chicken ranch. Jed asks him questions like how many roosters he wants for his chickens and Bob says he doesn't want roosters because he wants to specialize in chickens. Jed tells Bob to go back to his job and forget about chickens. Drysdale comes in and fires Bob. 

            Drysdale says Mr. Wilson was a trick arranged by the Bankers' Federation to see which bank would give him the money. Wilson is really the richest chicken farmer in the world and giving him the money earned Drysdale the Banker of the Year award. 

            On Bob's way out of Drysdale's office Granny gives him some medicine. Bob begins to twitch around the room. Elly says she thinks he's doing the Bossa Nova and she and Granny start to imitate him. 

            Bob was played by John Ashley, who was on vacation in California in 1957 when John Wayne steered him towards a job on the TV series Men of Annapolis. That same year he got the male lead in the movie Dragstrip Girl. He went on to act in several gang, monster, and beach party movies. He also sang in "Motorcycle Gang", "How to Make a Monster", "Hot Rod Gang", and "Fury Unleashed", which led to a recording career. Glen Campbell played guitar in his band. He co-starred in "Suicide Battalion", "High School Caesar", "Beach Party", "Muscle Beach Party", "Bikini Beach", "Beach Blanket Bingo", "Sergeant Deadhead", "Hell on Wheels", "Smoke in the Wind", "Young Dillinger", "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini", and "Frankenstein's Daughter". He starred in "The Eye Creatures". He went on to become the producer and star of several Filipino exploitation pictures such as "Brides of Blood", "Manila Open City", "The Mad Doctor of Blood Island", "Beast of Blood", "Beast of the yellow Night", "The Big Doll House", "The Woman Hunt", "The Twilight People", "Black Mama White Mama", "Beyond Atlantis", and "Black Mamba". He also produced The A-Team. 

            For the second night in a row I found no bedbugs.