King Donovan

            On Sunday morning dreamed of bedbugs and saw lots of them. In another dream I was on a movie or TV set that was partly making a show and partly real. There were bedbugs in the bank of Mr. Drysdale from the Beverly Hillbillies. They were reluctant to use poison and so I recommended the spores which I called "Gorite". 

            I translated the seventh verse of "J'ai pas d'regret" (I've No Regrets) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the third verse of "Hain pour aime" ("Hate for Mate") by Serge Gainsbourg. There's only one verse left to learn and then two are repeated, so I should have it all nailed down the next time I tackle it which will be Tuesday because I have an essay to finish on Monday. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before breakfast. 

            I took an early siesta from 11:41 until 13:11. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos before lunch. I had saltines with seven-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            I took an early bike ride downtown after lunch. I wore two scarves and my winter gloves. At first it felt like my fall gloves would have been a better choice, but on the way home it felt colder and I was glad I had them on. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos at 15:45. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 16:52. 

            I spent about three hours on my essay and it's pretty much done other than the proof reading, the fixing of word repetitions, and the citations. 

            I made pizza on naan with Basilica sauce, Italian sausage, and seven-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 2, episode 8 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            This story begins with a workman preparing to replenish the chlorine in the Clampetts' pool on orders from Mr. Drysdale. He's confronted by a shotgun wielding Granny who says, "So you're the rascal that's been poisoning our pond!" "I'm not poisoning anything!" "Then let's see you tip up that jug and take a swig!" "I can't do that! It's concentrated chlorine! It kills the algae and fungus!" "It kills fish too! We've tried two or three times to stock this pond!" "But this water is only for swimming!" "What do you think fish do?" He pours the stuff and Granny starts firing in the air so he runs and jumps over a railing. 

            Then Jethro reads Jed a letter from Mr. Drysdale's bank informing him that he has no money and is overdrawn $34.70. Granny says that Drysdale is trying poison them because he doesn't need them anymore. 

            Meanwhile we see a run-down house elsewhere in Beverly Hills with a mailbox that reads "J.D. Clampett". Jake Clampett emerges from the torn screen door and sits on the step while his wife Opal nags him to go and get a real job. He argues, "I am an actor!" She says, "You're a bum!" He goes through his mail which is mostly bills and almost misses the bank statement for $36.5 million. 

            Jed tries to call Drysdale but he just got on a plane. Granny thinks he left with Jed's money. They drive to the bank but a cop thinks they are vagrants and threatens to arrest them if they don't move along. As they drive away Jake and Opal Clampett go into the bank. In Drysdale's office Jane Hathaway gets a call from a new teller informing her that a disheveled man named J.D. Clampett wants to withdraw $10,000. Jane orders the teller to give Mr. Clampett whatever he wants. 

            The Clampetts go home and see a guy arrive to pave the driveway but they smell hot tar and Granny thinks that Drysdale has sent him to tar and feather them. Granny wants to go back to Tennessee but Jed says they can't leave town because they owe the bank $34.70 and they can't leave town owing money. 

            Then Jane calls and is surprised to talk to Jed because he was just at the bank. She realizes it was somebody else and in the next scene Jake Clampett is in jail. When Jane tells Jed about it he says that since he and Jake might be related he doesn't want him in jail. So Jane gets him out and drives Jake and Opal to the Clampett mansion where they are welcomed and given a big bedroom. They plan on staying a week. 

            Jake was played by King Donovan whose first movie was a supporting role in The Man From Texas. He played Jack in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers. He directed Promises Promises, starring Jayne Mansfield. He played Roger Baker on The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show. He played Harvey Helm on The Bob Cummings Show, and Chris Norman on It's A Great Life. He was married to the great Imogene Coca for the last 27 years of his life. He directed four episodes of the sitcom, "Grindl", which starred Coca. 

            I looked for bedbugs and dug a small, black one out of the wall at the foot of my bed. It had no blood inside.