Carolyn Williamson

            On Sunday morning I downloaded the lyrics for "Fugue" by Boris Vian and started translating them. 

            I finished memorizing "Beau oui comme Bowie" (Fine Yes Like Bowie) by Serge Gainsbourg and looked for the chords. No one had posted them so I worked them out for all the verses and choruses. There are only the notes between each line of the chorus to figure out and I should easily finish that tomorrow. I might even upload it to Christian's Translations then. 

            I weighed 84.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            I weighed 85.2 kilos before lunch, which is the most I've weighed at that time in a month. I had saltines with old English cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            I took a bike ride in the afternoon to Bloor and Ossington. 

            I weighed 84.4 kilos at 16:45. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 17:36. 

            I worked for over two hours on my essay, mostly doing research on how to tie in psychological ideas with Jane Eyre. Here's what I came up with: 

            For Jane "the mirror is like a passageway separating two realms of existence. ... by identifying with this “imago” of the supernatural figure Jane “situates the agency" of her ego "in a fictional direction. (Hobbs)". 

            "the ego is formed not at the point of looking into the mirror, but at the point at which the image of others, almost super-imposed onto our own, come into play (Hewitson)." 

            "By recognizing herself in the reflected image, Jane develops an awareness of her individuality. But this awareness runs contrary to a clear-cut understanding of self and other. The individual is forever split between an internal and external notion of the self (Hobbs)".

            "Standing before the mirror Jane is propelled into a predetermined future" (Hobbs). "Jane identifies with the mirror image and enters into a continuous process of staging and restaging her identity, a process that situates her as forever elsewhere (Hobbs)". 

            "The separation between the mirror image and the internal notion of the self is never completely resolved or sutured over (Hobbs)". 

            "Reflecting back on Freud’s explanation behind heimlich vs. unheimlich, a person must first be presented with something that is familiar, then bring in the unfamiliar and you are given an uncanny feeling. The self is familiar but when placed in a situation where the self is perceived in an unfamiliar way, then one’s true self can only have an impulse to protect the self. It is the idea that the individual could possibly become that evil entity (Boyle)". 

            Jane's reflection in the red room and her reflection in Helen have in common an aura of death.

            Jane comes into the fullest union with her reflection in Helen when Helen dies. She absorbs Helen and her subsequent life at the school is fulfilling because of this. 

            The reader first finds Jane reading, then Jane finds Helen reading. Later when she sees her reflection doubled by the Rivers sisters she finds them reading as well. The Rivers sisters, like Jane's other reflections carry an atmosphere of death, as the sisters are in mourning for the death of their father. 

            As Jacques Lacan says, "the formation of the I is symbolized … by a fortress … its inner arena and enclosure, surrounded by marshes." The Rivers's house is "near the tract of moorland … where rush and moss overgrew the marshes … My eye roved … along the moor edge … far in among the marshes and ridges a light sprang up … It burnt on … quite steadily … The light was yet there, shining dim but constant through the rain … It led me … through a wide bog … This light was my forlorn hope. I must gain it … The silhouette of a house rose to view … There shot out the friendly gleam again (Brontë 379-381).

            Jane is denied a happy childhood because of death. She becomes rich because of death. She is morally permitted to marry Rochester because of death. 

            I made pizza on a slice of Bavarian sandwich bread with Basilica sauce, my last hot Italian sausage, and old English cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 4, episode 23 of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            Jed thinks it's time that Jethro got a job and so he sends him to Mr. Drysdale's bank to show off his sixth grade level cyphering skills. While he's there a magician named Marvo the Magnificent comes to borrow money from the bank. Drysdale turns him down but Jethro is very impressed with Marvo's magic and takes him to his uncle Jed. Marvo puts on a very impressive magic show for Jed, Granny, Elly May, and Jethro, but he doesn't pull a rabbit out of his hat because he ate the last one. Jethro now wants to become a magician and so Jed buys all of Marvo's equipment for $50,000. Jethro then puts on a show for Jed, Granny, Drysdale and Jane with Elly as his assistant. But without Marvo's skill every trick goes wrong. 

            One of the things that Marvo sells is the magical cabinet of the beautiful maiden, out of which he makes appear two attractive women. These are of course two women he brought along to help make the sale. 

            One maiden was played by Britt Nilsson. She was born in Sweden and played small parts in a few movies and TV series. 

            The other maiden was played by Carolyn Williamson who played Sue in The Beach Girls and the Monster. 

            I searched for bedbugs and after eleven days of almost getting my hopes up about the infestation being over, I found a nymph beside the light switch above the head of my bed. It looked sick, was moving in a very awkward manner, and its insides were black and dry. I'll have to start the count all over again.