Ted Eccles

            On Wednesday morning I woke up to pee at around 3:36 and couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up at 4:00, washed up, spent some time on the internet and started my yoga a half an hour early. 

            I started revising my translation of "Fugue" by Boris Vian, now that I've worked out the chords and gotten most of the French lyrics right. 

            I memorized the second verse of "Hmm hmm hmm" by Serge Gainsbourg. There's only one verse left and I almost nailed it already and so I should have the song in my head tomorrow. 

            I weighed 83.6 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I've been in the morning so far this year. 

            I was too tired to work on my essay so I took an early siesta from 11:30 to 13:15. 

            I weighed 83.5 kilos before lunch. 

            I took a bike ride about an hour earlier than usual. Comme habitude I rode to Bloor and Bathurst. On the way home I stopped at Freshco to replenish my avocado and Garden Cocktail supply. I also got two more bags of grapes since they were on sale. 

            I weighed 83.9 kilos at 16:00, and that's the lightest I've been at that time in 19 days. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 16:50. 

            I spent more than two hours on my essay, but a lot of the time was taken up with research into physiognomy. Here's the paragraph I worked on: 

            Victor is a representative of a society that judges character based on appearance. This is evident from the moment in his childhood when first sees the young Elizabeth in a peasant cottage among little "vagrant" children: "She appeared of a different stock... Her hair was the brightest living gold, and... seemed to set a crown of distinction on her head. Her brow was clear and ample, her blue eyes cloudless, and her lips and the moulding of her face so expressive of sensibility and sweetness that none could behold her without looking on her as of a distinct species, a being heaven-sent, and bearing a celestial stamp in all her features." She was "fairer than a garden rose among dark leaved brambles." Victor's initial assessment of Elizabeth's character is based entirely on her appearance, with no mention of her behaviour, her mannerisms, her ability to communicate, or any other indicator of awareness and intelligence. In Victor's assessment, Elizabeth's blonde hair is a royal "crown". Victor does not explain what characteristic Elizabeth's "clear and ample" brow indicates, but a look at the published belief of the prominent physiognomist of Shelley's day, Johann Kaspar Lavater shows that Victor's description may be paraphrasing Lavater's words, "A smooth, open forehead", which he claims "indicates peace of mind". 

            I had the usual avocadoes, tomatoes, and lemon juice with Garden Cocktail for dinner while watching the penultimate episode of the fifth season of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            Jethro has decided to go into the car wash business because he thinks he's come up with an ingenious plan to wash a car in five seconds. He plans to submerge cars into a pool spiked with Granny's lye soap. If people want the insides washed he'll open the windows. Jed puts a stop to it and then he goes to Mr. Drysdale to see if he has any ideas on how to occupy Jethro's and Elly May's time so they don't get into mischief. 

            Meanwhile Drysdale is hosting his nephew Milby Drysdale, who is even more obsessed with money than his uncle. Jane says that Milby is a monster but Drysdale finds his greed admirable. But Drysdale doesn't have time to play with Milby today and when Jed hears that, he offers to have him visit at his place. Milby doesn't like the idea of being babysat but when he hears Jed has $70 million he's suddenly sitting on Jed's lap. 

            Once Milby is at the Clampett mansion and sees all the rare antiques and paintings, he begins to trick Jethro into selling them to him. Jethro doesn't think any of it is worth anything because it's old but eventually Milby buys a Ming vase, a Gainsborough painting and several other valuable items worth thousands for a total of $200. Jethro shows Milby his carwash scheme and submerges the old truck in the pool, but the rope breaks and it's stuck there. 

            When Drysdale comes to pick up Milby and sees all of the antiques in front of the house waiting to be carted away, at first he's proud of him. Then he realizes it's wrong and he takes off his jacket to severely punish him. We hear Milby screaming like he's been spanked but Drysdale explains that corporal punishment has never worked with Milby. What he did to make him scream was remove his money belt. 

            Milby was played by Ted Eccles, who appeared in many movies and TV series as a child actor. He starred in the 1969 film "My Side of the Mountain", he did the voice of the lead character in the stop action animation film The Little Drummer Boy. He played Brad Fulton in the Dr. Shrinker segment of the Krofft Super Show. When he grew up he went on to direct over 200 TV shows and won multiple awards for marketing campaigns for movies like Witness, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People, Pretty Woman, Three Men and a Baby, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Dick Tracy, Sister Act, and The Lion King; as well as TV shows like Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, How I Met Your Mother, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, Deal or No Deal, and Modern Family. He became executive producer of Flip My Food. 

            I made it to twelve days without seeing a bedbug. I haven't gone that long since between June 2 and June 14 of 2022. The next time to beat is exactly a year ago when I went twenty-one days without seeing one.