Stuart Erwin

            On Wednesday morning I memorized the ninth verse of "C'était une pauv' gosse des rues" (She Was a Poor Child of the Street) by Boris Vian. There are two verses left to learn. 

            I searched for more chords for “Le moi et le je” (The Me and the I) by Serge Gainsbourg but the only ones posted were the ones from Ultimate Guitar that I found on Tuesday. I started working them out and what I’m hearing doesn’t correspond to what I found online. I worked them out for the first two lines, which may just repeat through the whole song. 

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first session of two. 

            I weighed 85.3 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning in eleven days. Around midday I went over to the Queen Fresh Market to get some grapes and raspberries. The grapes were extremely expensive. I went to the liquor store to buy a six-pack of Creemore and I only had $15 in bills. I had to pay the rest in $4.50 of quarters. I would have been able to pay all in bills if I hadn’t broken a $10 at the laundromat yesterday. 

            Since I wasn’t able to get the guy renovating unit 5 to cut my Masonite, I used a box cutter. I got most of the way through in some parts and I’ll probably get it all cut on Thursday. 

            I weighed 86 kilos before lunch. I had Cheez-it crackers with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            I took a siesta at 14:00 and when I got up I took a bike ride downtown and back. When I got home it was 16:15. I’d thought it was 16:00 when I left and so obviously I mistakenly got up from my siesta an hour early. When I realized that, I went back to bed until 16:50 but didn’t sleep. 

            I weighed 85.5 kilos at 17:00. 

            I spent half an hour on the deck chiseling black quartz from a piece of the rock that I found five years ago. 

            I got an email from Albert Moritz saying he’d be sending my Masters Degree program recommendation letter on the weekend. I had also asked him about Ekstasis Editions, where I sent my manuscript four months ago. They say it takes three months to make a decision. That time passed and I sent a reminder last month but got no response. Albert says he’ll write to them but meanwhile I should look into the next publisher on the list. That would be either Black Moss or Guernica. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:53. 

            I compared my August 6 acoustic song practice performance of “Time of the Yo-Yo” with the one from August 16. They are both pretty good but August 6 looks better and is a little more expressive. I compared August 26 to August 6 and although August 26 is quieter in terms of traffic noise I still like the look of August 6. I compared September 1 to August 6 and I definitely think August 6 is better. I compared September 11 to August 6 and I still prefer August 6 and so that’s the acoustic version of “Time of the Yo-Yo” I’ll synch with the audio and upload. Next I’ll compare the seven acoustic versions of “Le temps des yé-yé” that I noted as being the best. 

            In the Movie Maker project to create a video for the studio recording of my song “Megaphor” I edited the train track bondage scenes from the silent films Race for a Life and Teddy at the Throttle down from two and a half minutes to about twenty seconds. I only need a quarter of that. I plan on mixing the two films so the tying to the tracks scenes from both movies are together. Then I’ll switch back and forth between Mabel Norman and Gloria Swanson where they are tied and switch back and forth from the two victims to the oncoming train. 

            I grilled two ground sirloin burgers and had one on a toasted slice of seven grain bread with sweet chili sauce, Dijon, horse radish and dill pickle slices. I had it with a beer while watching season 1, episodes 26 and 27 of Green Acres. 

            In the first story Oliver hears Eb singing a folk song and tells him that when he was in college he used to travel around collecting folk songs and also local legends out of which he’d make his own ballads. Eb says maybe he could write a song about that thing that happened around Hooterville over a hundred years ago involving a woman named…” Eb hesitates and looks around before saying “Molly Turgis”. Suddenly a lantern falls from its hook. Eb refuses to repeat the name and runs away. Oliver is now curious and keeps repeating the name but when he does so things either fly through the air or fall apart. He mentions the name to Sam Drucker and his pickle barrel explodes. Sam and the other locals just refer to “You know who”. Oliver and Lisa have invited Fred and Doris Ziffel to dinner. Oliver sings and plays guitar for everybody and he’s not bad. The next morning Oliver is shaving and working out a song about Molly Turgis. When he mentions the name he sees a wrinkled, green, and ugly old woman in the mirror. Mr. Haney comes by and when Oliver mentions Molly Turgis, suddenly Haney’s truck starts and drives away by itself. Haney says she always drives his truck to Pixley and parks it in front of a fire hydrant. Then Hank Kimble comes and he’s okay with talking about Molly because it will take her an hour to walk back from Pixley. He tells the story of how Molly was so ugly that no one would be her friend and so she eventually left town. She promised though that when she died she would haunt anyone that mentioned her name. That night Lisa calls Molly’s name and she appears in the mirror. She tells her how sorry she is what happened to her. Then she gives Molly a makeover and she promises not to throw things anymore. That night they invite the neighbours and explain that Molly Turgis won’t bother anyone anymore. Oliver sings his new song The Ballad of Molly Turgis and Molly beckons Lisa to the door. Molly is now blonde, with makeup on and she doesn’t look as bad as before. Lisa tells her to go where she is supposed to and have a good time. Molly asks to do one more jinx for the road and Lisa says OK. Molly breaks Oliver’s guitar over his head. 

            In the second story Oliver’s birthday is approaching. When she hears him express his frustration with and hatred for the tractor that he bought from Haney she knows what to get him. She goes to a farm equipment store and buys a state of the art tractor. She wants it to be a surprise and so she says not to deliver it to their house but to the farm of their neighbour Fred Ziffel. There is a big sign on it that says “Happy Birthday from a Friend”. But when Fred sees it and reads the sign he thinks it’s for him. Later when Lisa comes to try to tell Fred that she bought the tractor for Oliver, Fred expresses such gratitude and appreciation for her having given him that tractor that Lisa doesn’t have the heart to tell him. Doris is suspicious because of Lisa buying a tractor for Fred and she thinks she should tell Oliver. Because of that Oliver understands that it was a gift for him. He goes to tell Fred but like Lisa he is so saturated by Fred’s expression of gratitude that he also can’t bring himself to break Fred’s heart. 

            The tractor salesman was played by Stuart Erwin, who started acting in college and then in local repertory theatres in California. His film debut was in Mother Knows Best in 1928. It was one of the first talking films. His first major supporting role was in The Big Broadcast in 1932. He starred as Joe Palooka in the live action adaptation of the comic strip of the same name. In 1936 he starred in Pigskin Parade and was nominated for an Academy Award for his performance. On the radio he had a recurring role in Phone Again Finnigan and he played multiple parts in several anthology series. From 1950 to 1955 he starred in the sitcom The Stu Erwin Show. In 1963 he co-starred in Son of Flubber.