Gail Bonney

            On Sunday morning I memorized the second verse of “Physique est sans issue” (Body Without Issue) and adjusted my translation. There is only one verse left to learn.

            I played my Martin acoustic guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions. 

            I weighed 85.8 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I measured and outlined the areas on my sheet of white Masonite that I wanted to cut. I’ve heard the renovators in unit 5 using a saw and so I asked the guy who’d cleared my drain if he would cut it for me and told him I’d give him some money. He said he could do it at 17:00. 

            I weighed 85.8 kilos before lunch. I had Triscuits with five-year-old cheddar and a glass of limeade. 

            When I got up from my siesta it was raining. I brushed my teeth anyway and stepped out back to see how hard it was coming down. I would definitely have gotten wet and so I didn’t go.

            I weighed 86.3 kilos at 16:30, which is the most I’ve weighed in the evening in a week. 

            At 17:00 I asked David the renovator if he had time to do the cutting and he said he’d do it right away. We would normally have done it on the roof but we couldn’t because of the rain and so he warned me about sawdust in my place. I said it was okay. We laid the Masonite onto my kitchen chairs and the table and I held it while David worked from various positions to cut it along the lines I’d drawn. He asked if I wanted my place renovated but I said I couldn’t afford it. He did a great job cutting my Masonite and I asked how much I owed him but he said nothing. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:19. 

            In my “Megaphor (electric)” Movie Maker project I isolated the final take of my August 14 song practice performance of my song “Megaphor” in which I play my Kramer electric guitar. I added the effects of fading to black and also the effect of the view of me beginning close and slowly moving back and away. I adjusted the audio with mostly the recording I did through the interface in Audacity and with just a touch of the camera microphone audio. The camera picked up the distortion of the guitar really well but it also picks up more of the traffic noises. I think my voice is clearer through the interface. I’ll publish it on Monday and probably upload it to YouTube. Then I’ll put “Megaphor” aside in my song practice and start playing my song “Vomit of the Star Eater”. 

            In the Movie Maker project to create a video for the studio recording of my song “Megaphor” I synchronized the concert video with the studio audio for my line, “It tries to clean me off with screams of ultrasound”. But then it goes out of synch again for my line, “It ties me to the train track that the world goes round”. I’m going to replace the concert video there with perhaps a clip from an old silent movie of a damsel being tied to a railroad track. I’ll search for that on Monday. 

            I cut the strip of colour negatives of shots I took of the city dump into fives, put them in a labeled envelope and filed them. 

            I made pizza on naan with a cut up slice of ham and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching season 1, episodes 6 and 7 of Green Acres. 

            In the first story Oliver’s mother comes once again to try to rescue Lisa from Oliver’s obsession with farming and take her back to New York. She arrives in Hooterville but Oliver and Lisa don’t know she is there. She sent a telegram but Sam says he doesn’t deliver mail. He delivered mail and telegrams all the time on Petticoat Junction. Mrs. Douglas uses the Hooterville Station phone to call the Haney place but gets Mr. Haney. He explains this is the new Haney place and she wants the old Haney place. When he tells her he sold the old Haney place to Oliver she starts insulting him. Joe Carson comes and offers her a lift on the pump car but makes her do the pumping. Meanwhile Oliver goes to Sam’s store to call New York about his furniture, but before he can, the driver of a moving van comes in and talks about a load of furniture from New York he just delivered. Oliver rushes home but there is no furniture. Then Haney comes to ask if they want to buy furniture and it turns out that the moving van delivered the stuff to the wrong Haney place. Haney charges Oliver to deliver it in four trips. Meanwhile Joe has Mrs. Douglas get off the car beside Newt Kylie’s farm and tells her she has to cross it to get to Oliver’s place but to be careful of the mad bull. The bull chases her up a tree. Haney tells Oliver about his mother waiting for him at Hooterville station. Lisa and Eb go to Hooterville but mother isn’t there. When she gets back Oliver has moved the furniture into the little house and there is hardly any room to move around it, especially the bed, which pretty much takes up the whole bedroom. Mother is still in the tree. 

            In the second story Hank Kimble the county agent arrives and tells Oliver his soil hasn’t been tested yet. He suggests that he plough his fields while he’s waiting. Now Oliver needs a plough. Somehow Haney always knows what he needs and shows up with that item on his truck. But like everything else that he sells, Haney’s plough falls apart the moment it is being used. Oliver goes to Sam to order a plough but Sam tells him it couldn’t be delivered for three weeks, which would make it too late for planting season. Joe Carson just happens to be there because he wants to buy a shotgun for duck hunting but Sam won’t let him have credit. Joe tells Oliver he can get his fields ploughed on Sunday. On Sunday all the local farmers show up at Oliver’s place with all of their tractors and ploughs. Joe told them there would be a ploughing contest with big prizes. Oliver tells them it’s one of Joe’s schemes. They say they know that and they’ve come to help as good neighbours. Oliver promises them and their families a big lunch. As Lisa doesn’t cook she doesn’t know what she will do until Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Ziffle arrive at her door for lunch. The two women argue about who cooks the best fried chicken and so Lisa provides them with a contest. The fields get ploughed, everyone gets fed and the Millers get Lisa’s zebra skin couch as a prize. 

            Mrs. Miller was played by Gail Bonney (born Goldie Bonowitz), who started acting in the late 40s. She appeared as the second witch in the second season Star Trek episode Catspaw. She appeared in Alfred Hitchcock Presents eleven times.