Thursday, 3 August 2017

Invisible to Idiots



            I would like to be famous to interesting people and invisible to idiots.
I woke up eighteen minutes ahead of the alarm on Wednesday and since I was fully awake to the point of it being uncomfortable to lie down I got up five minutes early. On such days though, the time tends to even out since I seem to do everything a few seconds slower.
            I recorded my song practice for the first time in several days. The stupidest glitches can screw up a song. I performed a nearly perfect version of one piece until near the end instead of correctly pronouncing the word “them” I sang “gem” with a hard “G”.
            When I looked in my underwear drawer I saw that I would need to do my laundry either on this day or the next. Since there was a 60% chance of rain predicted for Thursday and only a 40% chance for this day I decided this would have to be the day. It was a good thing that I got a Styrofoam container of laundry soap from the food bank about a month ago; otherwise I would have had no detergent to wash my clothes with. It was pretty hot out, so good for drying my stuff. I kept my shirt off all day.
            I laid down for a siesta at 18:00, even though I knew that Nick Cushing was dropping by soon. Sometimes he doesn’t make it after all or is late enough that I get an hour and a half nap, but he called to say he was downstairs shortly after I was in bed. Nick had brought by an old hard drive that I could use for external storage. We were about to sit down to chat in the kitchen when Nick forgot how precarious my three-legged table was and accidentally knocked it over. The green glass top of my fruit tray hit the floor but amazingly it did not break. With everything righted we sat down. Nick spent a lot of time complaining about unreasonable and erratic people (some mutual acquaintances and some that I didn’t know).
            Nick left at around 16:30, which is when I would normally get ready for my bike ride, but I decided that I needed a nap and so I slept until about 18:45 when it was too late for a long ride.
I dreamed that I was telling someone, of a woman we both knew, that I would rather have a dog sit on my face for thirty seconds than sit with her and drink a beer for two hours. That’s what I said in the dream, but I don’t think it’s really true.
            I watched a keeper of an episode of Maverick. It was right away recognizable as a parody of Gunsmoke with the opening segment of the marshal addressing the audience during his visit to Boot Hill. Instead of Marshall Dylan though he was Marshall Dooley.  Instead of Chester the deputy there was Clyde, who also walked with a limp, but only because a horse had just stepped on his foot. Maverick told him it gave him character. Instead of “Doc” being a physician, he was an undertaker but he was made to look just like the actor that played the doctor on Gunsmoke. Instead of Miss Kitty being the owner of the saloon it was Miss Amy.
            The marshal took a dislike to Maverick right away because he didn’t want professional gamblers in his town. He kept kicking Maverick out but Maverick kept sneaking back in because he was following a series of clues that hinted at a half million dollars in treasure. Maverick would use various tricks to get the marshal out of town so he could manoeuvre without interruption. He spread a rumour about Indians being ten kilometres outside of town. The marshal argued, “There’s always Indians out there!” however the other person told him, “But these ones are skulking about and mumbling!” so the marshal went to see them. When he finally reached the Indians the marshal raised his hand in greeting and said, “How!” The Native raised his hand and answered, “Can’t complain! How’s you?”
            There is a subtle reference to another popular western show of the time as well. When Doc asks the marshal how many people he’s shot recently because they annoyed him. He answered, “Eleven this month! Remember that guy that came around last week handing out business cards?” It’s obviously a poke at Paladin from “Have Gun, Will Travel”.

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