Monday, 14 August 2017

Not a Good Idea to Tell Your Partner that She's Shitty at Something



            When I left the food bank on Saturday it was already almost 11:30 and I wanted to be at Bike Pirates by then to ensure that I wouldn’t have to wait for a stand. I rushed home and shoved only the milk in the fridge and the frozen peas in the freezer. I tend to refrigerate the fruit, vegetables and bread as well, but all that could wait. I took my velo to Bike Pirates and fortunately found that only one person was ahead of me. Another guy came by with his bicycle, looked at the closed gate, then looked at us and asked, “They open?” The guy ahead of me walked impatiently over to the hours sign in the window and pointed to Saturday, telling him, “They open at noon!” The man frowned and walked away. The other guy explained to me that this was the third time in ten minutes that he’d come by and asked the same question.
            There were six of us gathered by the time that David opened the gate at noon. He said that the first four of us could go to the stands. I told him that I’d been there last Saturday and that I’d dropped off a donation for that on Thursday. “Awesome!” he responded. I confessed that I wouldn’t have any money for a donation for this time until the end of the month. He just looked bored and said, “Whatever.” Then he told me to take stand number two.
            Before I’d even put my bike in the clamp, Den came and asked me what the problem was. I told him that it was the same problem that I’d had at the end of June and similar to last week when I also had to change the cotter pins. He said the only possible solution he could think of might be to change the axel. He got me the pin press and I set about removing he cotter pins.
            Meanwhile, Dawn arrived and came to the back, saying hi to me cheerfully as she went to talk to her husband, Den. I didn’t hear the conversation, but it seemed to be something practical relating to their common domestic interest. She was about to leave him to start working in the kitchen, but he called her back because he said he wanted to tell her something. Whatever he told her made her upset and they argued quietly before she turned and left.
            Den came over to tell me, “I think I just ruined my marriage! I told my wife that she’s a shitty drywaller!’ He explained that they were doing some renovations in their home and she was trying to do a lot of the work herself. He stressed that the problem is that she plasters and then sands all the plaster off again.
            Den got a couple of new cotter pins for me but they wouldn’t fit. He expressed that he couldn’t deal with it. “My marriage might be over! I’m gonna go ask David to help you!” He went to talk with David but he seemed occupied so he came back. Ted came around to help me and he and Den agreed that another axel might be the solution.
Den told Ted about what he’d said to Dawn. Ted wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help smooth things over. I asked if flowers would help, but Den assured me they wouldn’t. Ted suggested a certain procedure of sweet talk but Den guaranteed him that Dawn would not fall for anything like that. Den went back and forth between expressing regret for what he’d said and asserting just how true his statement was. “She really is a shitty drywaller!” he insisted and declared that he was an excellent drywaller. I told him that where I come from we call drywall “gyprock”. Den confirmed that’s one of the names for the stuff. Ted asked where I was from and I told him New Brunswick. Den told me that he was from the States. I asked what the origin was of the name “Den” but felt pretty stupid that I’d missed the obvious answer that it was short for Dennis. Ted pointed out that there was the Heavy Metal character named “Den”. I reminded them that he was also in the movie. Ted said that he still remembered the line, “There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out.”
“She’s an amazing cook!” Den said of Dawn. I was surprised that in 40 years of marriage he’d never criticized her like that before. I told him that I’d once insulted my ex-girlfriend’s gardening. He suggested that was why she was my “ex” girlfriend. It had not been my intention to hurt her feelings. She had been detailing to me how she’d designed her garden and had pulled up and killed some plants because they hadn’t fit with her vision. I made the lighthearted comment in response to this that she was “an aesthetic idiot.” It upset her so much that I never heard the end of it and she reminded me of it during other arguments for the rest of our relationship.
Den started looking for a cotterless crankset for me.
                I removed the old crankset and axel, clawed out the old ball bearings and cleaned up the bottom bracket. We used caged ball bearings this time, though I’d heard Dennis declare when I’d put the loose ball bearings in that cages are useless. From looking at forums I see that the general opinion seems to be that loose ball bearings make for smoother movement. I greased the cages and the cups generously though. We tried several different lengths of axels until we found the right one. The first crankset that Den found didn’t fit but he found another that worked and he even found a left side crank arm that matched the one that was attached to the crank ring.
                I think that during the time that I was there, Den must have told everybody in the shop about his ill-fated comment to his wife. Perhaps he was hoping that one of the people had the answer. Maybe he would have gotten it if one of the customers or volunteers on this day had been a woman.
            The crank ring was slightly larger than my old one, so I had to raise the derailleur a bit. Den helped me to adjust the gears. At first Den thought that my old pedals would not fit the new crank arms but I was relieved that they did. I put the whole thing back together and took my bike for a test drive. It rode smoothly, but then again it did the same on the previous Saturday. The general opinion on the forums is that cotterless cranks are better because they are lighter and less of a pain in the ass to maintain.
            After cleaning up my table I thanked Ted and then Den on my way out. Den apologized for how long it took. It took a little over three hours, which for anything other than just a flat tire or a brake adjustment seems to be the average time that I spend at Bike Pirates anytime I go there.
            That night David knocked on my door to give me a little 200 ml bottle of Royal Crown whiskey. Now I have two bottles of wine and one bottle of booze from him. I’m building up quite a little bar. If he’d given me beer I would have drank it.
           

           
           
           
            

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