Paramedics Should Have X-Ray Vision

            It was a mystery to me why I felt so tired on Saturday morning. I had gotten more sleep than usual and some days when I’ve slept less I’ve had a lot more energy. I had to work that morning and since I didn’t want to conk out while posing, after song practice I skipped memorizing the latest French song that I’ve been working on and went to bed. The plan had been to sleep for an hour, but after thirty minutes I was awake and decided that I’d better have breakfast before work. I had a couple of pieces of cinnamon-raisin toast, a toasted slice of Bavarian multigrain bread with peanut butter and a bowl of granola with milk.

            When I got to the Artists 25 studio only Colin was there so far. By the time I started posing a woman who’d been there the week before had arrived and she helped me get my hands in the right position. I’d almost had them right except for having put the right hand under the left instead of the other way around. A middle-aged woman from Korea was the third member. After about six minutes, Tom came shuffling in. He was having difficulty getting his easel set up and so the woman that had verbally helped me got up to move things around for him. He told her, “My leg isn’t behaving itself this morning.”

            A few minutes later Sol came in and approached Tom to ask him for a cheque. Sol said he could wait until the break and went to sit down. Tom decided out loud to write the cheque while it was on his mind. He struggled to his feet and started making his way to where he’d left his cane, which was at the opposite end of the studio from where his chequebook happened to be. He supported himself on his easel at first and then ventured out to cross a part of the floor without vertical furniture. That’s when he fell and I shouted “Whoah!” A couple of people went to help him up. He seemed all right. Someone retrieved his cane, gave it to him and he said he’d be fine. He took two steps, and each time he put his weight on his right foot it trembled uncertainly. On the third step he collapsed. People rushed to him.

Tom was able to sit up but he couldn’t get up. His left foot was twisted all the way to the left. Sol observed that it looked like Tom’s shin might be broken. Both his pant legs were pulled up and we could see that his right leg had a red wound about the size of thumbprint. Tom explained that injury had occurred when he’d taken a spill two days earlier. Colin got behind Tom to support his back while he was sitting there. I suggested we call an ambulance. Colin called 911. At this point I was still posing and there were three minutes left till my first break but Colin told me to take a break. That made sense, since it might be uncomfortable for the paramedics to walk in and see a naked man.

While we were waiting I told Tom that he should have left his bad leg at home.

Sol said he felt guilty and I didn’t say so but it seemed to me that he should. He could have brought Tom his chequebook and a pen and kept all this from happening. But then again, if Tom’s leg was that weak that day, his tumble could have happened at any time that day. It was actually a surprise that it hadn’t happened in the driveway on his way in or coming down the stairs.

The Korean lady went out to wait for the ambulance and to let the paramedics in when they arrived, which was ten or fifteen minutes later. They were a man and a woman in their 30s. He had short, sandy brown hair and she had long blonde hair that was tied back in a high ponytail. The man did most of the talking and he seemed to be in charge. He was very personable and had a calming manner. He informed Tom that they’d definitely have to take him to the hospital and decided that Western had the best facilities for case a case like this.

They brought a chair and a “yellow splint”, which was a sheet of yellow cardboard in shrink-wrap. He removed the plastic and folded it into an open, foot and leg-shaped box, into which Tom’s foot and leg was placed while the blonde paramedic wrapped white tape around Tom’s leg and the splint.

Tom asked him if his leg was broken and he answered that it looked like it might be but unfortunately he didn’t have x-ray vision. It seems to me short sighted of the city to not require at least one paramedic out of every pair of paramedics to have x-ray vision.

Tom was lifted into the chair and wheeled away. We said our goodbyes and I advised him not to go skating anytime soon.

There was still an hour and a half left in the morning. With Tom gone there were four members.

I related how back in the mid-eighties I had posed one Saturday at Artists 25 when it was on Bathurst, south of Dupont, and during the lunch break I went with Tom to look at lawn sales. I could barely keep up with him as he rushed from sale to sale, looking for electronic equipment to tinker with.

At 12:30 I went home to take a quick nap but I really cut it close. I woke up at 13:20, which meant that I had ten minutes to get back to the studio. I made it with a couple of minutes to spare.

I got paid $100 in cash at the end and I rode over to No Frills where I bought grapes, garlic, cinnamon bread and cheese, as well some of my usual purchases. 

I didn’t bother to take a siesta when I got home.

That evening I cooked the frozen ground chicken I’d gotten from the food bank a while ago in some organic chicken broth. I added basil and garlic tomato sauce to that and cooked some spiral pasta, which I ate with the sauce and a beer while watching two episodes of The Big Bang Theory. The only thing that stood out was when Raj arranged to have all of his ex-girlfriends get together for a focus group to talk about why they broke up with him. Howard was there taking notes and all the women wondered why Howard and Raj weren’t a couple. After the girls left the two guys speculated about what kind of relationship they would have if they were Gay. Howard said that if things didn’t work out with Bernadette he’d consider it but Raj said he’d be all over Bernadette. Howard told him Stewart has already called dibs on Bernadette in that case.