Monday, 1 January 2018

Evil Lettuce



            On the Sunday morning of December 24th I discovered the answer to the mystery of how a roll of toilet paper had gotten wet a couple of months ago. On the shelf where I keep my working roll of toilet paper there are a few other items, including a bowl of water in which I soak my denture when I’m not wearing it. When I got up on Sunday I saw that the outer end of the coiled sheet of tissue had gotten dipped into the bowl of water and that the water had been drawn out into the roll. It had worked its way halfway into the roll when I caught it.
            The water still tasted like iodine and the smell was quite strong when I took a shower.
            It’s weird how accidents happen at home. I’m used to being careful with the dangerous stuff like knives and fire, but then I open a harmless drawer, somehow pull too hard so it comes out and starts to fall and then while trying catch it, cut my hand on the edge. It only bled a little, so wasn’t a drastic injury. It was just an annoying one.
            Because of all the warnings I kept reading about romaine lettuce, I threw out the romaine hearts that I’d gotten from the food bank. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I kept the collard greens and after sorting through the leaves and throwing out the bad looking ones, I cooked them to have with dinner. The problem with lettuce is that one doesn’t cook it.
            There was a snowstorm on Christmas Eve, so it was definitely going to be a white Christmas.

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