The Meteor of Consciousness Dissolves in the Atmosphere of Sleep

            The alarm on Wednesday morning was a meteor trying to penetrate the atmosphere of my sleep but it was a white-hot pebble by the time it hammered a crater into my consciousness. As I began yoga my body was like an orange trying to peel itself from the inside. It was hot but when I was upside down in the shoulder stand my calves caught the breeze from the window and it slid down my legs to my face. By the time I was halfway through I was as alive as a bobblehead in the back window of a car that was backing out of a driveway.

            I’ve almost finished working out the chords to Serge Gainsbourg's "Jane B”, which comes from a Chopin piece. I have the chords that people have written down for both the song and the classical work but they don’t always fit for me. I have never written down so many chords for one song in my life. The thing is, there are songs with only three chords that have nicer melodies.

            This was the day that I'd picked to go downtown and do some Christmas shopping. The next day was the return date for the books I’ve borrowed from the OISE library but I’d been meaning to adjust it to Wednesday so I could just renew the books after Romantic Literature class, which is in the same building. So before going to St Lawrence Market I rode up to OISE. The young woman behind the counter surprised me by informing me that I owe $7.50 in fines dating back to 2016. At first I thought they’d made a mistake because otherwise they would have let me know about it a long time ago, but apparently they don’t tell people until it builds up to $25. I said that if I were running a library I would not let them borrow a book if they owed money and I would like to be informed right away and not after I owe more than $1.50. An older counter person said that no students would borrow books at all if the library had that policy. In most cases, if I'm late with a return it's on the day of grace, which I sometimes use on rainy or snowy days because I travel by bike. The young woman behind the counter had never heard of any day of grace. I reached into my pocket for $7.50 but was told that U of T has been cashless now for a few years and so I would have to pay by credit card or debit. I don’t have a credit card and I lied that I also don’t have a debit card because there might be a service charge but mostly because I wanted them to know they were inconveniencing me.

            The older woman made an enquiry about how I can pay without debit and we were waiting for a call back. During that time she tried to ease the tension by making conversation. She asked if I was all done with my Christmas shopping. I would never ask that question of a stranger because there’s no way to really know that they even celebrate Christmas. I said, “I haven’t done any Christmas shopping”. She looked a little surprised, took on a warning tone and said, “It’s fast approaching!”

            Finally they found out that there is one place on the whole campus where one can pay library fines in cash and that’s two blocks away at the reader’s registration desk on the second floor of the Robarts library. I rode down there and paid the fine. The guy I paid confirmed that there is actually a day of grace but I had been late for a total of five days since 2016. One of those times I was three days late. I can’t imagine having been late that much and wondered if an error was possible. He said that I could go back to OISE and dispute it but I just paid.

            Robarts has a lighted Christmas tree made of books. They’re not real books but they look like them.

            I rode down to Dundas, east to Jarvis and then south to St Lawrence Market. On the way I was thinking about the lyrics to the song “Silent Night”. Tender and mild are the same thing unless the “holy infant” is tender in the sense that something hurts. Using “tender” and “mild” together is a redundancy. It's like saying "famished” and “hungry”.                                                                                        I felt like my tire was flat as I rode around downtown and when I was locking my bike in front of St Lawrence Market I gave it a squeeze and it was indeed almost too soft to ride on. I always check my tire before I ride but I think my squeeze test is often pretty wimpy and I suspect that it had been that soft before I’d started.

            There are little traditions that I follow whenever I go to St Lawrence Market. First I always buy some homemade hot pepperoni sticks from Sausage King. I used to after that always go to St Urbain Bagel for some Montreal style bagels but it had been at least two years since I’d done that. This time I went and bought a dozen sesame seed bagels. I didn’t notice any of the original family behind the counter. I assume they are still running things but are just too old now to be on their feet all day.

            I went downstairs to look around and got some stuff to send to my daughter. I won’t mention what I bought because she might read this before she receives it. 

            I rode along Front to Yonge, up to Richmond, west to York and then north to Queen where there’s an easy left turn. On Queen near Spadina I stopped at a place I won’t name until later. I stopped at Lush handmade cosmetics. The only other man in the place besides me was one of the salespeople, a tall white guy with dreadlocks. He came up to ask, “Are we good?” It was like we’d previously had an argument that I didn’t remember. I said, “Uhhh … yeah”. I looked at various items. A very tall Goth girl with a snow-white face behind her black eye and lip makeup came up and started demonstrating some things. I looked around and read the signs beside the various products until I finally had questions for a different salesperson. She demonstrated an item and it looked like something Astrid might enjoy so I got it and a few other things. I was happy with my purchases because they were different from my usual gifts to Astrid.

            On the way home I stopped at Freshco where I bought grapes and yogourt.

            When I got home I went out to buy a can of Creemore.

            I pumped up my bike tires and tightened my crank arm before hanging up my bike.

            I had a late lunch of ham, cheddar and Dijon on a delicious Montreal style bagel.

            I had a late siesta and got up in the evening. I did some writing.

            For dinner I had a fried egg with a bagel and a beer and watched Peter Gunn.

            This story begins with two teenagers necking in the park at night when a delinquent gang arrives. It turns out that the girl is with the gang and she smiles and walks behind them as they advance on her date and surround him with knives. Next we see a man named Charlie on death row about to be executed. He had asked to see Peter Gunn before he died and requests that Gunn try to save his teenage son Johnny from his fate by getting him out of the gang he’s in. Gunn goes to see Johnny and Johnny says he doesn’t care about his father but he’s set his alarm for 10:00, which is the moment of his dad’s execution and he’s visibly upset when it goes off. Just then two of his gang show up. They block Gunn’s way out and one of them, the one named Clip, the leader holds up a fist with a set of brass knuckles. Gunn calmly says, “If you use those sonny you’d better make the first punch a good one”. They let him pass. Gunn goes to see a junk dealer named Tallulah who buys items that the gang steals. With a subtle threat about the police he convinces her to reluctantly reveal the location of the gang’s hideout. It seems to be an abandoned sewer tunnel. They are taking target practice with knives when Gunn arrives. Clip holds Gunn at knifepoint while Dills grabs his wallet and finds out he’s a PI. They play monkey in the middle and toss Gunn’s wallet around until it lands in a puddle. They beat Gunn up but Johnny holds back. They carry a barely conscious Gunn to the running sewer and are about to drown him when the cops arrive. Lieutenant Jacoby can only keep the juvenile gang in a cell for 48 hours but Gunn convinces him to let Johnny out early. Johnny comes to see Gunn at his apartment. Gunn explains that he set Johnny up to prove that his gang would turn on him easily. Back at the hideout Gunn is shown to be right. Clip tells Johnny that the only way he can prove himself is to kill Gunn. He tells Johnny to call Gunn and to tell him to meet him at an abandoned warehouse. Johnny is holding the gun and Clip tells him to shoot Gunn. Johnny hesitatingly starts to point it at Gunn but drops his arm. Clip tries to take the gun from Johnny but they fight and Johnny wins. The whole gang admits that it had been Clip that killed the kid in the park. Johnny goes with Gunn to make a statement to the police and about half the gang follows.

            Tallulah was played by Lili Valenty who was born in Poland but became a star on the German stage but, as she was Jewish, left when the Nazis took over and went to the States. She performed on Broadway and then transitioned to films and finally television.