Snowed Out

            I usually get up to pee twice overnight but on Saturday between midnight and 5:00 I had to urinate at least five times. The only difference in what I'd consumed the night before was that the grapes I’d eaten were a bit sour. I don’t know if that would have caused me to pee more but I guess it’s possible.

            There was a dusting of snow on the street when I was getting ready to go to the food bank but it looked manageable and so I didn’t bother to put on my Kodiak boots.

            When I arrived the line of carts was very short and unoccupied except for the guy that never stops talking as long as someone’s there to listen. He greeted me as I was locking my bike by calling out, “Welcome to the winter side!” I was directly after him but he went to have a smoke by the entrance.

            It was very cold and so it was quite uncomfortable when I took my gloves off to open my copy of Thomas De Quincey’s “Confessions of an English Opium Eater” to where I’d left off.  Once I was on the right page I hurriedly put my gloves back on and began reading. At home I’d just finished part one, which deals with the author’s life as a down and out middle class gentleman in early 19^th Century London. I’d only just gotten to the part where he took his first opium when the talking guy returned to ask me what I was reading. I showed him the cover and he declared, “Theresa May should be in there, cause she’s one crazy bitch!" He claimed that Brexit is controlled by corrupt British businessmen that want to circumvent the rules of the EU that would stifle their profits. Theresa May's husband, Philip May is a senior executive for Capital Group, a company that is the largest shareholder in BAE Systems, which is an arms manufacturer whose profits have soared since recent air strikes in Syria. Capital Group also owns 7% of General Dynamics, which owns many of the detention centres in which Donald Trump has been holding immigrant children separated from their families. This means that may is also profiting from that horrible action. My companion claimed that Philip May has made half a billion pounds from arms deals but that's probably his company. His personal worth is listed officially at $2 million but some reports claim that since the Syria strikes with missiles that cost $1 million each, sales have gone up and he has personally made $10s of millions, benefiting directly from his wife’s policies as prime minister.

            The talkative guy offered to buy me a coffee. I told him I appreciated the offer but I’d already had a cup at home. When I found out it would have been from Pete’s Corner restaurant across the street I commented that the coffee is lousy there. He said, “Lousy weather calls for lousy coffee!” which makes no sense whatsoever.

            I tried to keep reading but it was snowing and white crystals were beginning to accumulate in the gutter between the pages of my book. I decided that I was going to ruin the book if I continued and so I brushed the snow off and put the volume away.

            A woman stepped into line about three places behind me and asked how the food bank works. I told her that she could register if she had identification, proof of her address and something to prove her financial need like a copy of a social assistance cheque. If she didn’t have all that they would still let her have food the first time but the second time she would need to bring documentation.

            My talkative line mate continued on to rail against the English in general, claiming that they are all snooty and arrogant and that’s why he would never visit England. He claimed that there are 1000 suicides a week in England but the statistics say there are about 6000 a year for all of the UK. He said he would rather go to Scotland because he's from Nova Scotia. I told him that I'm from New Brunswick. He said his father was born in Bath Hospital. I told him that’s where I was born too and so he gave me an affectionate punch in the shoulder.

            A woman in her 40s or 50s a little in front of us in line had very short-cropped hair but she wasn't wearing a hat, nor any gloves in the sub-zero weather. She was missing at least three of her lower front teeth and she also had a tendency to frequently jerk her body from side to side in non-rhythmic movements. The Nova Scotian flipped back the hood of his coat, took off his toque and leant it to her. It turned out that she’s from Newfoundland and so the two of them began to speak lovingly about Newfoundland cuisine such as salt cod and moose meat.

            She said that every school kid in Newfoundland had to read Death On the Ice about the 1914 seal hunting disaster and it always made her cry. The Nova Scotian remembered reading it as well.

            He said that people in Ontario don’t understand when those from down east talk of premonitions. He claimed that he had a premonition of a certain woman being murdered in the Moss Park area and the next day she was found strangled. I’m sceptical of premonitions. It is a fact that he knew her and what kind of life she was living and the momentum of the direction it was taking her and so he could have simply assessed that she was going to die based on that. For premonitions to be real the future would have to exist and be accessible. If it did exist there would have to be a lot more premonitions of it than there are.

            The food bank was late to open and the cold was beginning to seep into my body. I’m looking forward to starting my research paper soon for my Romantic Literature course because that will compel me to not want to spend essay-writing time standing around in the cold.

            The woman to whom I’d explained the registration process exclaimed, “This is horrible!” The guy behind her said, “This is the only food bank in Toronto where people have to line up outside!” The woman responded, “Terrible!”

            The line started moving at about 10:50.

            Once we were inside the Newfoundlander gave the Nova Scotian back his toque and thanked him. As we headed down the stairs the Nova Scotian said somebody asked him why he talks so much and he said that it keeps his mouth from freezing.

            As we were waiting in line for the reception desk he commented about how much he liked the marble cheese slices that they gave out last week. I said that it’s amazing that they can make cheese out of marbles.

            The manager, Valdine was telling one of her young volunteers that paper towels are a waste of money and that rags work just as well. She must either have her own washer and dryer or very close access to one where she lives. I doubt if she had to carry bags of rags three blocks or more to the Laundromat that she’d be as enthusiastic about them. When I use three strips of paper towel to dry my counter it is totally moisture free when I’m done. I find that rags tend to leave dampness behind, which cockroaches love.

            Valdene asked the young woman behind me, “Did you order this weather?” “What?” “Did you want it to snow so you could go skiing?” She answered the question matter of factly as if it had been serious, “No, I wanted to take a bike ride!”

            The first two sets of shelves were almost bare, except for the cereal at the bottom, canned black olives at the top, a bottle of pancake syrup and several individual servings of various condiments. I took a box of organic multigrain flakes cereal and my volunteer handed me a chocolate bar.

            The shelf with the canned vegetables and beans was well stocked, although there was no tuna. I grabbed a tin of chickpeas. There was also a fair amount of canned soups but I took the only carton of tomato and roasted red pepper. As usual I didn’t want any pasta or rice.

            From Angie’s station I didn't take milk and for the first time I turned down the offer of three eggs. I’d already accumulated eleven eggs since Christmas while I was trying to get through the turkey I roasted, so it seemed too much to take more eggs right now.

            She gave me a 650-gram container of organic Greek yogourt and offered me a choice between margarine or potato salad. I selected the salad.

            She said I could take one of two frozen dinners. One was macaroni and cheese, which she said wasn’t that great and the other was red wine braised beef and polenta in a steam pouch in a box, so I grabbed the latter.

            On the way to Sylvia’s section I picked up a six-pack of raisin-bran muffins from the bread section. All Sylvia had to offer were potatoes, carrots, onions and tomatoes. I told her I already had enough spuds and carrots but I’d take onions and tomatoes, especially if the tomatoes were firm. She managed to find me three tomatoes that weren’t too soft.

            It was still snowing when I went to unlock my bike. I would normally take my things home and then head back out to the supermarket but the streets were too treacherous and so I just wanted to make a beeline for my place and to not get on my bike again for the rest of the weekend. I was looking forward to being snowed in.

            I did step out again to buy two cans of beer for the weekend but that would be my last time getting dressed to go outside until Monday.

            I guess standing in the cold drained my energy, because I felt very sleepy at around 12:30 and just went to bed until 14:00.

            When I got up I had a single slice of toast with cheese and tomato for lunch.

            I did some writing until around 19:00 and then I felt tired again. I went to bed with the intention of conking out for an hour. I had a dream that I can’t remember and then woke up after fifteen minutes of sleep. That seemed to be enough and so I got up.

            I had an egg, toast and a beer for dinner and watched the very latest episodes of The Big Bang Theory, which finally caught me up.

            Spoiler alert!

            In the first story Penny runs into her comically dumb ex-boyfriend Zack who is married now and rich. He invites Penny and Leonard for dinner on his boat and his wife has about the same intelligence as Zack. They confess that they had a reason to invite them over. They want to have a baby and they can’t, perhaps because he and his frat brothers used to play a game of kicking each other in the balls over and over. They say they want to use Leonard’s sperm. Leonard is okay with it but Penny feels weird about it. Penny finally gives in because she doesn’t want to have kids and she knows Leonard does.

            Meanwhile Raj is trying to get back together with Anu and they finally agree to forget about the arranged marriage and to start from scratch with a first date.

            In the second story Amy and Sheldon discovered that two researchers from another university have accidentally proven their theory of antisymmetry. Leonard warns him that the Nobel committee has often favoured experimentalists over theoreticians. The scientist that theorized the Big Bang didn’t win the Nobel Prize for it but rather some people that stumbled on proving it by accident. It turns out that this is exactly the intention of the two researchers and since only three people can share a Nobel Prize they want Amy to be cut out. Sheldon is torn by his desire for a Nobel Prize and his loyalty to Amy. She says that he should cut her out but in the end he chooses not to.

            Meanwhile Bernadette wants to promote Penny to be in charge of an entire pharmaceutical sales team. She is reluctant but Bernadette manipulates her into stepping up.