Paul Winchell

            On Thursday I finished memorizing "Sans blague" (No Joke) by Boris Vian. Tomorrow I'll see if anyone's posted the chords. 

            I memorized the second and third verses of "Trompe d’érection" (Missed Erection) by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I weighed 84.3 kilos at 9:04. 

            I didn't have time for breakfast because I had a 9:50 appointment at the dental clinic with the hygienist. On my way out I found a dead mouse just inside my door. Outside the clinic, there were a handful of homeless people hanging out under the overhang because it had been raining. 

            For the first time, I was called early. Farah the hygienist told me that they hadn't had any water until just before I got there. I asked her if she was glad to be back since the hygienists had to do covid related work during the pandemic. She said she really enjoyed working from home on the telephone.

            Farah told me that my gums are not that bad so maybe they've healed some since my last cleaning four months ago. When the tartar and plaque are removed it gives the gums a chance to heal. This procedure was painful and the sound of her powered instruments felt like the voice of my gums screaming. But she was very nice. I got a fluoride treatment this time and she even cleaned my denture.

            She asked if I was on any medication and seemed surprised when I said I wasn't. I asked why and she said most people say they are. She said for example that she has to take medication for cholesterol and she's also diabetic. 

            She said for me to call in March for another appointment in April. I wonder if I'll be able to get one since I was rejected by the Ontario Seniors Dental Plan. I was surprised that I even was allowed this cleaning and wondered if my rejection was buried in government bureaucracy. 

            She told me she loved my leather jacket but I think she was disappointed that I don't have a motorcycle. 

            I went home to pee because someone had locked themselves in the washroom and then I went to Freshco. I bought five bags of grapes, a pack of raspberries, a pack of strawberries, a pork sirloin, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, some bananas, and some Folger's coffee. I forgot to buy toilet paper. 

            I weighed 84.7 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride and went to Robarts Library to get a copy of Marie de France's Fables. I had to go to the 13th floor but the elevator said, "Going down" at the 9th and so I took the stairs. I was out of breath when I got up there. 

            I picked three books of her lais, two of her fables, and one that combines the two. 

            On the way home I stopped again at Freshco to get a pack of toilet paper. 

            I weighed 84.2 kilos at 17:53. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 19:18.

            I read about a quarter of Marie de France's Fables. Most of them are rhyming versions of Aesop's fables, involving talking animals interacting with one another but with an explanation at the end to explain the moral. 

            I made gravy with a combination of chicken and beef drippings, and with beurre manié added for thickener. It almost always makes a perfect gravy and this time was no exception. I had some with a potato and a slice of roast beef and a beer while watching episode 13 of The Beverly Hillbillies. I just realized that today is the 13th, I went to the 13th floor of Robarts today, and I watched the 13th episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. 

            This story begins with the Clampetts packing up the truck to drive it back to Tennessee for Christmas. Granny's got the stove on the back with six days worth of wood for the trip. Meanwhile, Mr. Drysdale and Jane Hathaway are rushing to the Clampett mansion to stop them because he thinks they are leaving for good. When he learns that it's only for Christmas, Drysdale tells them he can get them home in six hours. They don't understand that he's talking about a plane and Jed thinks that the bus driver must know a really good shortcut. 

            Drysdale gives Granny and Elly mink coats and he rents an entire plane for them, which they still think is a bus. Jane gives Jethro a kiss before he leaves. 

            There's been an interesting shift in the relationship between Jethro and Jane after the first few episodes. In the beginning, it was Jethro who was sweet on Jane while she was indifferent. Now Jane is hot for Jethro and he's not interested.

            They are surprised when the bus starts flying but they seem to adjust to it well. 

            Meanwhile Jed's cousin Pearl doesn't know they are coming and she plans on going to California to visit them. But first, she makes another try at landing Mr. Brewster the oil tycoon as her husband. He's been using Jed's cabin for the oil company field office but has also been sometimes staying there. Pearl arrives and cooks him an amazing meal. While he's eating she's cleaned the cabin and even spruced up the place with curtains. He is so impressed that he asks her to come and live with him and his mother in Tulsa. She thinks he's proposing and she says "Yes!" but when she finds out he wants to hire her as his housekeeper she gets angry and leaves.

            Shortly after that Drysdale calls Brewster and tells him that he has to stop Pearl from leaving for California so she'll be there when Jed arrives to surprise her. So Brewster goes to Pearl's house and stalls her to the point where he gets down on his knees and almost proposes just before Jed arrives. 

            In the end, the reunited family is all singing Christmas carols. One of the guests is Grandpa Winch, who has been trying to court Pearl for a long time. But Grandpa also flirts with Granny and asks her to go for a sleigh ride. Granny asks if he'll behave himself and he says he will. Granny says, "Well we might as well stay here and sing then!" 

            Grandpa was actually played by the forty-year-old Paul Winchell. Winchell's talents were first discovered on Major Bowe's Amateur Hour radio program in 1948, where he won first prize at the age of 16. The same year he was on the television cast of The Bigelow Show and two years later he had his own show, featuring his ventriloquist act and his dummies Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smiff. Over the next decade, his puppet Jerry became so famous that his most successful TV show was called Winchell-Mahoney Time. He was also the voice of Tigger in the Winnie the Pooh movies and Dick Dastardly in the Wacky Races cartoons. He played Claude Wilbur on the Dick Van Dyke Show. He co-starred in the movies "Stop Look and Laugh" and "Which Way to the Front?" In addition to being an actor and voice artist, he was also an inventor. He patented one of the first artificial hearts, an electric car, and a flameless cigarette lighter, among many other inventions. He also invented a disposable razor but people convinced him that no one would want something like that and so he didn't patent it. 

            I made it to a week without finding any bedbugs.