I finished translating “Chaussures noires et pompes funèbres” (Black Dress Shoes and Funeral Parlours) by Serge Gainsbourg. I just have to revise it now so it makes sense in English.
I weighed 88.45 kilos before breakfast, which is the lightest I’ve been in the morning since April 17.
I played my Martin acoustic during song practice and it went out of tune during every song.
Around midday I headed out to go to the supermarket. I locked my bike outside and was about to go get my trailer when I ran into my former yoga student at PARC, Moses. We chatted for almost an hour. We were discussing the new federal dental plan and how it’s not enough. They don’t pay for more than one and a half cleanings a year. That should be the most important thing for them to pay for since it would be preventative of all the other tooth problems as well as heart disease. Moses says he does all of his grocery shopping through Amazon.
At No Frills I bought five bags of grapes, three packs of raspberries, some bananas, a watermelon, sea salt, three bags of skim milk, a jug of iced tea, a jug of orange juice, a container of skyr, and two bags of Miss Vickie’s chips.
I weighed 88.9 kilos at 15:35. That’s the kindest I’ve been to the scale since April 15.
I had saltines with peanut butter and five year old cheddar with a glass of iced tea.
I took a siesta and slept for half an hour but was woken by a call from Nick Cushing, who was in the neighbourhood. He said he’d come by in twenty minutes. I tried to sleep some more but couldn’t. I tidied up a bit before and after he arrived. We chatted for about twenty minutes and then he headed out for a birthday celebration at a bar downtown.
I weighed 89 kilos at 18:10.
I was caught up in my journal at 19:49.
I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and extracted to my hard drive the Howl radio show interview I did on CIUT almost thirty years ago. I was promoting my first chapbook “Vomit of the Star Eater” and sang three poems from the book: “The Princess and the Pea happy Song”, “Vomit of the Star Eater” and “Sleep in the Snow”. Tomorrow I’ll do the flip side which has a rehearsal with Brian Haddon and Donna Bartkiw.
I grilled five honey garlic sausages and had one between two halves of a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with ketchup, Dijon, horseradish and a sliced gherkin. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 5, episode 3 of The Carol Burnett Show.
Steve Lawrence sings “In My Own Lifetime” by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick for the 1970 musical The Rothschilds.
In the Carol and Sis sketch Roger takes Carol to a nudist colony because Joe Schorrin wants to meet there and he’s one of Roger’s biggest clients. Carol does not want to be there and does not want to take her clothes off. To make matters worse she has to compare herself to Joe’s tall, beautiful, and voluptuous wife Inga. Roger finally gets Carol to disrobe and to venture out and talk with Inga while he takes his clothes off. But the cops raid the place because their license ran out a month ago and on top of that the bush Carol is holding against her to hide her nakedness is poison ivy.
Carol Channing sings “Ain’t Misbehavin” by Andy Razaf, Fats Waller and Harry Brooks from 1929; “You’re the Cream in My Coffee” by Ray Henderson, B. G. de Sylva, and Lew Brown from the 1928 musical Hold Everything; and “Button Up Your Overcoat” by the same authors from the 1928 musical Follow Through.
In As the Stomach Turns Marian is kissing her insurance salesman goodbye. He asks if she wants to talk about accident insurance. She says, “That won’t be necessary. I’m on the pill”. Jinx Vandenburg comes to Marian’s door and she causes disasters to happen. Marian’s parked car is wrecked, her table is broken, and her bird dies. Jinx left Canoga Falls after the flood. Sammy the faith healer comes to the door. A man walks in on crutches and crawls out without them after being healed. Sammy draws the curse from Jinx and into his own hand.
The rest of the show is a tribute to Oscar winning movies.
They do a parody of Sorry Wrong Number. Vickie is on the phone with the police telling them about a home invader. She is terrified until she sees how good looking the man is and then she tells the police she’ll call them back.
Carol Channing plays Jennifer Jackson, an Oscar winner whose speech lasts several months until they carry her away.
A parody of The Story of Louis Pasteur in which Louis presents his cure for rabies to the Academy of Science. The chairman moves that they consider his discovery but accidentally breaks the microscope slide with his gavel.
A Parody of The African Queen where Carol plays Hepburn and Steve plays Bogart. She finally gives in to her passion but keeps knocking him overboard. Finally he throws her overboard.
Carol, Harvey, and Steve sing and dance a tribute to the silent films. Carol is made up to look like Buster Keaton and Steve and Harvey are Laurel and Hardy. They sabotage each others ice cream carts. Then they get chased by the Keystone Cops.
Carol Channing was emotionally drawn to the stage since the 4th grade upon seeing Ethel Waters perform. She majored in Drama and Dance in college and performed in plays at Pocono resorts. Her stage debut was in No For an Answer in 1941. She made her Broadway Debut in Let’s Face It. She became a star performer after Lend an Ear in 1948. She introduced the song “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” in the original Broadway production of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. She replaced Gracie Allen on stage with George Burns when Gracie started having heart problems. In 1967 she became the first celebrity to perform in the Superbowl Halftime Show. She won a Tony for her starring role in Hello Dolly. She was nominated for Tonys for The Vamp, Showgirl, and Lorelei. She made her film debut in Paid in Full in 1950. She made her TV debut on Red Skelton in 1957. She was nominated for an Oscar for her role in Thoroughly Modern Millie. She co-starred in The First Travelling Saleslady (in which she gave Clint Eastwood his first onscreen kiss), and Skidoo. She appeared 11 times on What’s My Line? She was the voice of Grandmama on the animated Addams Family series. Her best selling autobiography was called Just Lucky I Guess. Her trademark blonde hair came from wigs because she was allergic to bleach. Her wide eyed look while performing was due to myopia. Her paternal grandmother was black. She was a Christian Scientist. Her second husband was a Canadian football player named Axe Carson who was also a private detective. He was the father of her only child. She was married to her third husband for 43 years until he died. She was on Richard Nixon’s list of enemies.
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