Bob Mackie

            On Friday morning I continued to edit “Ballade de la chnoufe” by Boris Vian to prepare it for publication on my Christian’s Translations blog. There are only five verses left to edit so I should have it done tomorrow.

            I continued translating “Chaussures noires et pompes funèbres” (Black Dress Shoes and Funeral Parlours) by Serge Gainsbourg. I might have at least the first draft done tomorrow. 

            I weighed 89.05 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer electric during song practice and it stayed in tune about half the time.

            Around midday I cleaned three bathroom wall tiles of overlapped blue paint from when I painted the trim above them a few weeks ago. 

            The landlord knocked on my door and accused me of flooding the restaurant downstairs. Five years ago he also claimed I'd flooded the restaurant when there had been no overflow anywhere in my apartment. I said knew nothing about it and there was no overflow in my place. He called me a liar and wanted to come in. I don’t like him in my place so I told him he needed to make an appointment. He said it was an emergency so he could enter but I doubt if it was still leaking downstairs by then. I heard him in the building for at least an hour before he knocked on my door and therefore it was not an emergency or else he would have knocked right away. I wouldn’t let him in and so he embarrassed himself by calling the police. They gave him a number to call but he dialed it wrong and got some private citizen. He finally left and said he’s going to investigate by opening up the ceiling downstairs. 

            I weighed 90.65 kilos before lunch, which is the heaviest I’ve been in the morning since April 22. 

            I tried to take a siesta but was too stressed to sleep. 

            I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 89.55 kilos at 18:15. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:22. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive a Christian and the Lions rehearsal in a studio near John and Queen in 1994. Tom Smarda played the Stratocaster, Steve Lowe was on acoustic guitar, I was on vocals, and I think it was Jim Bravo on drums. I don’t think Arjan was there on bass but I guess he might have been. Tomorrow I’ll digitize a tape of one of my Howl interviews on CIUT radio.

            I deleted about 35 photos from my hard drive. 

            I made a new batch of gravy from a combination of pork tenderloin and chicken drippings. I had some with a potato and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 4, episode 26 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup four off duty ushers in the audience ask if Vicki would come out and give them all kisses. She comes out wearing a fat suit for a later skit and kisses them. 

            This is the last show of the season and next year the time slot will be an hour earlier at 20:00.

            The first skit shows the time it takes because of problems to shoot a 45 second commercial. A polaroid camera doesn’t work. An orange tree for Florida orange juice falls over. Harvey gets swallowed by a giant crown while eating Imperial margarine. Moist shaving cream is just a plastic white beard. Room deodorizer makes Carol sneeze. Paul Lynd plays the white haired Man from Grad who tries to show a couple how to use Grad sandwich bags and the pieces of the sandwich fly all over the place. Carol puts a dirty shirt in the washer and it comes out wrapped like before it was bought. Seventeen cab drivers have all been shaved with the same razor but number 17 is backstage now getting a transfusion. 

            The Old Folks, Molly and Burt are at a seniors dance. Emily and Henry sit in rockers beside them. Emily flirts with Burt. Burt says he was around when they first did the Charleston. Molly says, not the dance but the city. They sing the song “Old Folks” from the 1971 musical 70 Girls 70. They and the Ernie Flatt Dancers all dance like old people who don’t move so well. 

            In the Carol and Sis sketch, Roger is at work and he is short a secretary. Carol tries to fill in while wearing hot pants. Another person’s secretary comes in, doesn’t know Carol is Roger’s wife and calls Roger “Rogie”. Then one of Roger’s colleagues comes in and starts flirting with Carol. Roger confesses that he’s jealous and tell her she looks great in hot pants. 

            The dancers do their version of Scaramouche. 

            In As the Stomach Turns, Marian, who usually listens to everybody else’s problems confesses to Nanette Fabray’s character Renee that she is broke. She says she might need to sell herself. Renee says nickels and dimes won’t help. Marian decides she can rent rooms out. Harvey is an actor who comes to rent the room. He casts Renee in a play and takes her to his room to rehearse. Paul Lynd plays a mean banker come to foreclose on Marian’s house. She tries to flirt with him but he gives a subtle indication that he’s gay and that it won’t work on him. He wants to also foreclose on her shoes. 

            The finale is very similar to the end of season 3 with the Charwoman being kissed goodbye by the cast and then reminiscing about several of the skits that were done throughout the season. Then she sings the longer version of her theme song and walks out of the theatre. 

            The costumes for The Carol Burnett Show were designed by Bob Mackie, who studied Design and Illustration at the Chouinard Art Institute. He was first hired in the early 60s by NBC as a costume design illustrator. His television debut as a costume designer was The Hollywood Palace in 1964. The first star to hire him to do the costumes for an entire show was Mitzi Gaynor for her Las Vegas act. He designed for the Jubilee Las Vegas Revue. He also did the costumes for The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, Whitney Houston, almost all of Cher’s performance costumes, Vanna White, and for Elton John. He won nine Emmy Awards, a Tony Award, and three Academy Award nominations (including Lady Sings the Blues). He was called the sultan of sequins, the guru of glitter, and the rajah of rhinestones. He designed special collectors Barbies for Mattel. He had a line of furniture followed by a second line.