Joanne Woodward

            On Monday morning I finished taking screen shots of the INA France video of Jean Pierre Cassel and Jane Birkin singing the parody by Serge Gainsbourg of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You). I imported the audio of the song into Movie Maker and placed it on the audio timeline. Then I imported the twenty images and dragged them onto the video timeline. By default any image one puts on the video timeline has a duration of five seconds, so the pictures in total were not long enough for the music. I made the first three images each a second longer and I’ll stretch the rest tomorrow. Then I’ll see if some images need to be made longer or shorter to fit the lyrics. 

            I weighed 90.45 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Kramer during song practice and it stayed in tune more than half the time. 

            I put away some of my laundry that’s been piled up on the couch for two weeks since I cleaned it. 

            I weighed 91.2 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.8 kilos at 17:45. 

            I was caught up in my journal at 18:19. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive some recordings of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. These aren’t the earliest attempts as Mike was starting to get the hang of the song but it still needed some work. I think there are about three full takes of the song and the rest of that side of the tape is a recording Mike did for a Rush cover band, which also takes up the whole other side of the tape. I didn’t record the other band for this two track recording but I do have it from a previous digitization. The next cassette I’ll digitize is full of multiple takes of “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy”. 

            I worked on digitally enhancing one of my old photos. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 9, episode 21 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup Carol says her special guest Joanne Woodward is a great actor and an even greater person. 

            In the Mama’s Family sketch Eunice comes home drunk at 18:00 with her old school chum Midge Gibson (played by Joanne Woodward). Midge is visiting from Chicago so she and Eunice went drinking at a local dive called The Topsy Turvy Bar. Eunice remembers that Mama is coming over and Midge remembers that Eunice’s mother always thought she was a tramp. She also remembers that her own mother thought Eunice was dumb and worthless with a face like a scarecrow. Midge says that maybe she should have tried harder when she was married. Eunice asks, “Didn’t he get drunk and beat up on you?” “Yeah but maybe that was just his nerves”. Eunice says, “I guess you’ve had a lot of flings since you got divorced”. Midge says, “Every dog has his day. I think I just insulted myself”. Eunice says she only has Ed to judge by but asks Midge if it’s magic. Midge says she’s still looking for that. They do the can-can and then Ed and Mama walk in. Mama says, “I thought this town got rid of that alley cat!” Ed is mad that dinner isn’t ready. Mama says, “We can’t expect Eunice to do her duty when Midge calls and asks her to join her on one of her binges”. Mama tells Midge she runs into her mama sometimes at the mall. She’s always chipper and uncomplaining. “I wouldn’t be half so brave if my daughter lived so far away and led the kind of life you do”. Midge says, “Some people can live near their mamas. I don’t have the stamina”. Mama reminds Midge of all the big things she planned to do with her life. Eunice calls Mama out for implying Midge is a failure. Mama says, Being a failure is nothing to be ashamed of! Hell, look at Ed there!” Eunice says Mama doesn’t approve of alcohol but when daddy was alive they used to come home drunk together. Eunice spills beer on his jigsaw puzzle that he’s been working on for weeks and now he’s upset. Ed asks if she’s going to wipe it up or is she taking the evening off. Eunice says she just might take her whole life off and go back to the Topsy Turvy with Midge. Ed is shocked that his wife went to the Topsy Turvy. Midge says, “Gee Ed, everybody there was askin for you!” He says it’s different when a man goes. Mama says to Midge, “If I was your mother…!” “Well you are not my mother, so I have no emotional objection to punchin you right in the nose!” Eunice wants to see that. Midge says, “I have made many mistakes in my life, but I have never been deliberately malicious and cruel and if you're an example of decency, sister, thank God I'm indecent and you (she points at Ed) you weren't so high and mighty in high school when you were in the back seat of that convertible with me on that double date with Gigi and you practically tore off my best sweater! I finally got away and after that, he ran after Gigi! Jim had to throw him out of the car! Oh, Eunice, I'm sorry. Eunice says she’s just surprised Ed ever had that much energy. Listen, Eunice, I'm going to have to leave. I've had enough of the family unit and the backbone of the country for the moment, but I want to tell your mama thank you because I was feeling very depressed about my life and now I feel a whole lot better!” Eunice tells Midge she’s sorry she has to go. Midge tells Eunice she’s sorry she has to stay. Midge leaves and Eunice deliberately knocks over Ed’s precious jigsaw puzzle.

            Harvey and Vicki play Lanscroft and Evelyn, an upper class couple at dinner. Lanscroft’s butler (played by Tim) is standing by him while Evelyn’s maid (played by Carol) is near her. Niether Lanscroft or Evelyn lift a finger to eat, drink or wipe their mouths. Tim and Carol put the glasses to their master and mistress’s lips and put forkfuls of food in their mouths while Lanscroft and Evelyn have an argument about each the other’s extramarital affairs (Harvey and Vicki are finding it hard to keep straight faces as they are being fed). Evelyn says, “Lanscroft you are a despicable human being! Take that!” Carol walks over to Tim and slaps him in the face. Lanscroft says, “You really think you can to that to me and get away with it?” Tim walks over to Carol and punches her in the gut. Evelyn gets Carol to have a temper tantrum for her. Evelyn says she’s going to end this once and for all. Carol goes to get a gun and points it at Tim, but Evelyn says, I’m going to kill myself!” Carol shoots herself in the stomach and collapses over the table. Lanscroft says he can’t go on living without Evelyn, so now Tim has to shoot himself. He does so but tidies up the table before he collapses. Evelyn and Lanscroft go to each other’s arms. He says they just needed that little fight to clear the air. 

            Carol and Joanne play a couple of wallflowers at a dance. This is a rehashing of a sketch Carol did with Cass Elliot from season 4, episode 8. Nobody wants to dance with them except for Harvey who is out without his wife. They sing “Why Can’t I?” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart from the 1927 musical Spring is Here. They sing “Let’s Be Buddies” by Cole Porter from the 1940 musical Panama Hattie. 

           Tim plays the Swedish boss and Carol is his secretary Mrs. Wiggins again. He calls her to his office but she’s just done her nails and can’t touch anything. he tells her he has a meeting today with Mr. Philips but he doesn’t want anybody in his office before noon. She gets up and leaves. he tells her he doesn’t mean people who work there. He says Philips is going to ask him some questions he can’t answer so he wants Wiggins to watch for him to stand up. That will be her signal to tell him he has a phone call. While he takes the pretend phone call he’ll have time to look up the answer. Wiggins never gets it right. He decides she might get it if they switch roles with her at his desk and him at hers. She still doesn’t get it but when he raises his voice in anger she fires him. He says he quits and leaves wearing her hat. 

            Carol, Vicki and Joanne in early 20th Century style summer dresses close with a song and dance assisted by the Ernie Flatt dancers. They sing “Everything Old is New Again” by Peter Allen and Carol Bayer Sager from the 1974 film The Boy from Oz. 

            When Joanne Woodward was 9 her mother took her to the premiere of Gone with the Wind starring Vivian Leigh. When Leigh arrived in a limo with her escort Laurence Olivier, Joanne suddenly jumped into the car and sat on Olivier’s lap. In her teens Joanne won several beauty contests in Georgia. She majored in drama at Louisiana State University. After graduation she studied acting in New York with Sanford Meisner, who removed her Georgia drawl. She made her TV debut on Robert Montgomery Presents in 1952. She first got together with Paul Newman when they were working as understudies for the Broadway show Picnic. The problem was that he was married and she was engaged to Gore Vidal, but he was gay so that wasn’t a big problem. He desperately wanted a divorce so he could marry Joanne and he got it in 1958. He married Joanne a week later. They went on to have six children in their 50 year marriage. When asked how he remained faithful to Joanne, Paul said I have steak at home, so why go out for hamburger? She co-starred in Count Three and Pray, A Kiss Before Dying, The Sound and the Fury, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, A Fine Madness, The Drowning Pool, From the Terrace, The Fugitive Kind, The End, The Long Hot Summer, Rally Round the Flag Boys, Paris Blues, A New Kind of Love, Winning, WUSA, Mr. and Mrs. Bridge (for which she was nominated for an Oscar), and They Might Be Giants. She starred in The Three Faces of Eve and won an Oscar for it. She accepted it in a dress she made herself. She starred in No Down Payment, The Stripper, Signpost to Murder, Rachel Rachel (for which she was Oscar nominated), The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds, The Glass Menagerie, Summer Wishes Winter Dreams (for which she was Oscar nominated), She won Emmy for her performances in the TV films See How She Runs and Do You remember Love?. She wrote and directed Come Along With Me. She was the host of live from the Met on PBS for three seasons. She graduated from Sarah Lawrence College with a BA at the age of 60, at the same time her daughter Clea graduated. She served as artistic director of The Westport County Playhouse in Connecticut. On her husband being a sex symbol she said he snores. In 1988 she and Paul started the Hole in the Wall summer camp for children with serious diseases.

June 30, 1996: My daughter hit another kid with the toy crossbow I made for her

Thirty years ago today

            On Sunday it was a very hot day and I took my daughter to the local playground on Dundas. She brought along the crossbow that I made for her out of an old crutch, a door latch, a big rubber band and a few other things. It wasn’t powerful enough to penetrate anything when it shot the arrow I’d made out of a stick but it could have put somebody’s eye out. She did harmlessly hit another kid with it and from then on I was very conscientious about where she aimed it.

Emmett Kelly

            On Sunday morning in my Christian’s Translations blog I finished preparing the parody of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You) by Serge Gainsbourg for publication. But I needed a video and Blogger is only fully compatible with YouTube videos, of which there are none for this song. The only video online for this song is one for INA France so I decided to make screen shots from that video and use them to create a photo-video for the song in Movie Maker. I’ve got six images so far, leading up to the beginning of the first chorus. I might only need another twenty or so. 

            I weighed 90.15 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice and it stayed in tune through almost all the last half of my session. Before that it went out of tune for almost every song. 

            A truck went by from a company called Live Bait Incorporated. They must have an interesting warehouse. 

            Around midday I painted with the “crazy in love” pink hue the first coat for two of the four floral reliefs on the frame of my future bathroom mirror. I might have the first coat for the rest done on Tuesday. 

            I weighed 90.65 kilos before lunch. I had peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar on saltines with a glass of lemonade. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 90.35 kilos at 17:40.

            I was caught up in my journal at 19:36. 

            I recorded from cassette tape through audio interface to Audacity and then extracted to my hard drive side 2 of early recordings of “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. I keep expecting a channel to drop out but everything’s fine now that I have all new cables. The next tape I’ll digitize is also of “Instructions…” I have more tapes of that song than any other. 

            I made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, three sliced Oktoberfest sausages and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 9, episode 18 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup someone asks when Carol’s book will be out. She says it’s out now. “Can you just pick it up anywhere?” “I’d rather you buy it”. 

            Carol sings a song I assume was written by one of her writers about how, “Anybody named Jackson has got to wind up on top”. She lists several famous people named Jackson and then finally The Jackson 5. Then they come out and sing it with her before doing their own number, “Forever Came Today”. I could tell the songwriters without looking it up because it had the stamp of Holland, Dozier, and Holland, who wrote most of the songs for The Supremes and this song was a hit for them in 1967. Michael Jackson was developing more and more finesse. One could see it in how he spun around and grabbed the mic. 

            Harvey plays a politician about to meet the US president to receive a cabinet post. Tim is his right hand and he comes to Harvey to tell him the president is ready for him. Harvey’s wife has been sitting quietly and now Harvey tells her it’s time to meet the president. Tim says he told the president he would be coming without his wife. Harvey insists he go back and tell the president that his wife would be coming as well if Tim wants to be appointed the undersecretary.. We learn that Carol has just recovered from a severe head injury sustained by sticking her head out of a train window and hitting a telephone pole. She swings from a chandelier when Harvey isn’t looking. Tim comes back with some papers for Harvey to review. When Harvey turns his back Carol is all over Tim, first seductively and then bopping him on the head. When Harvey turns his back again Carol runs, jumps and wraps her legs around Tim as she kisses him and he struggles to get free. Tim asks Harvey to reconsider taking his wife. Harvey says if he asks that again he’s fired. When Harvey’s back is turned again Carol pours water all over Tim. This keeps happening until now she’s drawn a Hitler moustache on Tim and pulled his pants down. Harvey fires Tim and then wonders with whom to replace him. Carol says, “How about Bob Thomson?” Bob Thomson turns out to be the hat rack in Harvey’s office and they take it to meet the president. 

            The Jackson 5 pretend to teach Vicki how to dance and sing the 1974 song “Body Language” by Hal Davis and Don Fletcher. 

            They do a parody of the 1946 film A Stolen Life starring Bette Davis as identical twins with opposite personalities. Carol plays the Bette Davis roles. We first meet the shy and reserved Patsy who is obsessed with the lighthouse she can see from her window. Then she meets Bill the lighthouse keeper played by Harvey and they have a lot in common. They fall for each other but then he meets Patsy’s outgoing and glamourous sister Vera. By the time Patsy returns to the room they have run off together. Months later Vera and Bill are married and living in New York where Bill is a big success. Vera returns for a visit and she and Patsy go sailing. Vera drowns and Patsy assumes her identity so she can be with Bill. She has to deal with the fact that every man she meets is Vera’s lover. She learns that Bill wants to divorce her so she reveals herself to him and he says he is now free to be with the one he truly loves, which is his maid Docina. So Patsy lets all of Vera’s lovers fawn over her as consolation. 

            The final sketch is an almost exact remake of one from season 4, episode 8. Carol’s Charwoman is at a circus. She meets a clown who gives her a dead rose. He tries to juggle while balancing a feather on his nose but he can’t juggle and the feather is glued to his nose. He sweeps the spotlight into a small circle, picks it up and hands it to her. She puts it in her pocket. She sings “It’s Only a Paper Moon” by Harold Arlen, Yip Harburg and Billy Rose from 1933. Then she sings “Look for the Silver Lining” by Jerome Kern and B.G. De Sylva from 1919. At the end she thanks “the world’s greatest clown”, Emmett Kelly. I would think if he was really the world’s greatest clown he would have come up with another routine in five years. 

            Emmett Kelly wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist but couldn’t get work in that field so he became a chalk-talk artist. He would tell stories and illustrate them in chalk. He then became a trapeze artist. His first appearance as a clown was with Howe’s Great London Circus in 1921 in Iowa. The sad faced clown persona he played on the Carol Burnett Show was named Weary Willy and he was based on the many hoboes that that were a common sight during the Depression. A “weary willy” was another name for a hobo. He performed as a cartoonist dressed as a clown in night clubs. His nightclub act attracted the attention of several circuses and he eventually joined Coles Brothers Circus. He helped to rescue several children after a circus tent caught fire. He had a nightclub act in the 1930s with Linn Sheldon. He made his Broadway debut in Keep Off the Grass in 1940. In 1942 he joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey where he did an act called Panto’s Paradise in which he played a hobo clown in Fairyland. He made his film debut in The Fat Man in 1951. His 1954 memoir is called Clown. In 1956 he was the first guest on What’s My Line? In 1958 he co-starred in Wind Across the Everglades. In 1959 he was hired by Pacific Ocean Amusement Park for 19 weeks as vice president in charge of fun. He was a regular for 15 years at Harrah’s in Lake Tahoe. He became known to millions when he started performing on TV. He was in Bette Midler’s first TV special and she sang John Prine’s song “Hello In There” to his Weary Willy character.

June 29, 1996: It was a rainy day

Thirty years ago today

            On Saturday I picked up my daughter from her mother’s place and brought her to mine to spend the weekend. It was a rainy day and so we played indoors.

Nick Benedict

            On Saturday morning I memorized the first chorus of “La complainte de Bonnot” by Boris Vian. Now that I know the first two verses and the first chorus, there is just two verses and one chorus left to learn. 

            I ran through singing and playing the parody of “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You)” by Serge Gainsbourg in French and English. Then I uploaded it to my Christian’s Translations blog to prepare it for publication and I should have it done tomorrow. 

            I weighed 89.55 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Gibson Les Paul Studio during song practice and it went out of tune a lot more than usual. It only fully behaved through four songs. 

            At around midday I went to Freedom Mobile to pay for my July phone plan, to Vina Pharmacy to pick up a prescription and then rode down to No Frills for groceries. I got five bags of cherries, a pack of blueberries, some bananas, a pack of five-year-old cheddar, some mouthwash, a jar of tomato pesto, a jug of lemonade, a jug of orange juice, two containers of PC skyr, and a bag of Miss Vickie’s chips. I did a price match for the cherries with the Metro price. The Freshco price is cheaper but I couldn’t find it on their flyer. 

            I weighed 90.1 kilos at 14:40. I had peanut butter and five-year-old cheddar on saltines with a glass of lemonade. 

            I took a siesta at 15:30 and got up at 17:00. By the time I’d brushed my teeth it was too late for a bike ride. 

            I weighed 90.35 kilos at 17:25. 

            At 18:52 I was caught up in my journal for the first time in about two weeks. 

            I returned to my project of digitizing my cassette tapes for the first time since I got all the proper cables so I can record with two channels. I recorded side one of a session of early recordings of my song “Instructions for Electroshock Therapy” at Mike’s Place with Mike on drums. There’s no more frustrating dropping out of the right channel. Tomorrow I’ll do side 2. 

            I grilled five Oktoberfest sausages. I then made pizza on a slice of multigrain sandwich bread with marinara, tomato pesto, two sliced sausages, and five-year-old cheddar. I had it with a glass of Creemore lager while watching season 9, episode 17 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup Carol introduces in the audience Don Sutton, the pitcher for the LA Dodgers, who is there with his wife. 

            Carol says she watches one soap opera and everybody knows that because she talks about All My Children all the time. She found out that Nick Benedict who plays Philip was in the audience so she brings him up and gets the audience to ask him questions. Someone asks where he got his curly hair and he says from his Italian father. Are the shows live? No they are always a week ahead. A woman asks if he’s married and he asks, “What are you doing tonight?” No. 

            Carol and Harvey play a couple who hardly ever have time for each other because they lead very busy lives. She suggests that they have lunch today at noon but then realizes she can’t. She says “How about 13:00?” but he has a meeting. He says at 15:30 he has a free eight minutes but she can’t do it. She says one of them has to pick up Bob at 16:00. Harvey says he’s not ready to discuss that merger but she reminds him that Bob is their son. Harvey says, “Let’s have lunch sometime”. Suddenly Carol says, “I think it’s time” then stands up and we see she’s pregnant. He asks, “Do you need me?” She says, “No, I won’t be long” then she leaves. Harvey wonders how that happened. 

            Steve Lawrence sings “In the Still of the Night” by Cole Porter from the 1937 film Rosalie.

            Carol plays Marge and Vicki plays her co-worker Carla. Carla says she has a great riddle but Marge says she doesn’t want to hear it because riddles give her a headache. Carla tells it anyway: “You’re in a room with all southern exposure. A bear walks by. What colour is the bear?” (It would be white because if the view is south from all sides that’s the only colour a bear would be). Marge says brown and Carla starts laughing. Marge asks what colour it is. Carla says, “It’s a riddle! Figure it out!” “I don’t want to. I’ve got the headache that I told you riddles give me. Just tell me what colour is the bear”. Carla says, “I can’t. I don’t know the answer”. Steve sits with them and hears about the riddle. He knows the answer but wants to share a different one. “You’re driving a bus. There’s ten people on the bus. At the first stop two people get on and four people get off. At the next stop three people get on and four people get off. At the next stop nobody gets on and two people get off. What’s the name of the bus driver?” (Obviously if you’re driving the bus it’s your name). Marge thinks there’s no answer. Carla figures it out and whispers the answer to Steve. Marge asks for the answer but Steve says it’s not fair to tell her. But he whispers to Clara the colour of the bear. Marge starts shouting at them. Carla says, “If you’re gonna get this upset you shouldn’t get involved in riddles in the first place!” Carla and Steve leave, but then Harvey comes up to tell her the riddle about the bear. She starts beating him up. 

            Tim plays a boss with a Swedish accent. He’s just gotten an intercom for himself and his secretary Mrs. Wiggins (played by Carol) so they can communicate more efficiently. But every time he tries to communicate with her she pushes the button to talk without hearing what he is saying. This goes on back and forth until he gives up on the intercoms. 

            Carol and Steve are sitting together. She tells him how beautiful his and his wife Eydie Gormé’s TV special was and that they never sang better. Steve is asking Carol trivia questions from match books, like “What was President Truman’s profession before he went into politics?” He was a haberdasher. “What was a nickname for the Model T?” The Tin Lizzy. Carol asks one: “The most Oscars won by a single person is 35. Who won them?” Steve says Walt Disney. “What musical instrument does Benny…” The answer is clarinet. “What year was the gramophone invented?” Steve doesn’t know but the answer is 1915. This is a segue to Carol and Steve’s duet. Steve sings “That Wonderful Year”, which was written by Carol’s husband Joe Hamilton for The Garry Moore Show. Then he sings the 1916 song “Where Did Robinson Crusoe Go With Friday on Saturday Night” by Sam Lewis, Joe Young, and George W. Meyer. Carol sings the 1914 song “Out Among the Sheltering Pines” by Abe Olman and James Brockman. Carol and Steve sing the 1914 song “By the Beautiful Sea” by Harry Carroll and Harold R. Atteridge. They sing the 1915 song “Memories by Egbert Van Alstyne and Gus Kahn. Then the 1914 song “When You Wore a Tulip and I Wore a Big Red Rose” by Percy Wenrich and Jack Mahoney. Then the 1915 song “I Ain’t Got Nobody” by Spencer Williams and Roger A. Graham. The Carol sings “Play a Simple Melody” by Irving Berlin from the 1915 musical Watch Your Step with Steve singing the counterpoint. Then they sing the 1914 song “Twelfth Street Rag” by Euday L. Bowman. 

            They do a salute to the oldest surviving movie studio that started in 1912: Universal. 

            In 1948 Universal won its first Oscar for Laurence Olivier’s Hamlet. Harvey plays Hamlet and Tim plays the gravedigger who hands him Yorick, the King’s Jester’s skull. He holds it with the back of the skull facing the camera and laughs. He says, “Even in death he has not lost his power to make men laugh!” Then he turns the skull around and it’s wearing the Grouch Marx mask with the glasses, big eyebrows, big nose and moustache. 

            Vicki says one Universal’s hits in 1972 was called Pete and Tilly, that starred Walter Matthau and others. The joke is that it co-starred Carol Burnett. 

            Tim talks about Universal’s Rooster Cogburn, starring Katherine Hepburn and John Wayne. Carol plays Hepburn and Harvey plays Wayne. She’s listing all the strict rules she’s going to impose on him during their journey west and so he stuffs his eyepatch in her mouth. 

            Harvey talks about the 1962 film Freud: the Secret Passion, starring Montgomery Clift. Steve plays Freud and Vicki his patient. he tells her she mustn’t be ashamed of her sexuality, then he excuses himself to go shame-shame. 

            Harvey talks about the recent film Earthquake, starring Charleton Heston. Carol and Steve play a couple having an affair. They begin kissing when the earthquake starts and are finished just when it stops, so they think it was just them. 

            Carol says in 1954 Universal released The Glen Miller Story. She sings “Moonlight Serenade” by Glen Miller and Mitchell Parish. The band plays “Tuxedo Junction” by Erskine Hawkins Bill Johnson, and Julian Dash while the dancers Jitterbug. Vicki as part of a vocal quintet sings “Perfidia” by Alberto Dominguez with English lyrics by Milton Leeds. Then Carol comes out and sings it as a lead vocal. Steve then sings “At Last” by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren from the 1941 film Sun Valley Serenade. Then the dancers dance some more in that old style to another Glenn Miller tune. Harvey pretends to play a saxophone and sings the 1942 song “I Got a Gal in Kalamazoo” also by Gordon and Warren. The dancers dance to the 1940 song “Pennsylvania 6-5000” by Jerry Gray and Carl Sigman. Then everybody sings “Jukebox Saturday Night” by Al Stillman and Paul McGrane from the 1942 show Stars on Ice. Steve sings “Serenade in Blue” by Warren and Gordon from the 1942 film Orchestra Wives. Carol returns to “Moonlight Serenade”. 

            Nick Benedict made his film debut at the age of 9 in the 1955 movie Wiretapper. He played Philip Brent on All My Children from 1973 to 1978, for which he was nominated for a Daytime Emmy Award. He played Curtis Reed on Days of Our Lives from 1993 to 2001. He appeared in seven episodes of Santa Barbara. He appeared in thirty episodes of Tribes. He co-starred in The Pistol: Birth of a Legend.

June 28, 1996: I was depressed about my eviction

Thirty years ago today

            On Friday I was depressed about the court decision to evict me from 111 Sheridan Avenue. Now I had to find a new place to live and started checking out the available apartment rentals within my limited budget in the downtown area. In the evening I performed on the Spit Fridays open stage in the back room of the Cameron.

Beverly Sills

            On Friday morning I finished working out the chords for the “Que je t’aime” (That I Love You) parody” by Serge Gainsbourg. Tomorrow I’ll run through singing it in French and English and then upload it to my Christian’s Translations blog to prepare it for publication. 

            I weighed 90 kilos before breakfast. 

            I played my Martin during song practice and it continues to go out of tune for every song.

            Around midday I painted with the “crazy in love” pink hue the outside half of the last of four floral reliefs on my future bathroom mirror. On Sunday I’ll start painting the inside halves. 

            I weighed 90.75 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and on the way back stopped at Freshco because yesterday I forgot to buy Sponge Towels. So this time I got a pack of three, plus some shaving gel. 

            I weighed 90.7 kilos at 17:55. 

            I worked on getting caught up on my journal at was still a bit behind at suppertime. 

            I had a potato with gravy and two chicken drumsticks while watching season 9, episode 16 of The Carol Burnett Show. 

            During the audience warmup Carol announces that in March of 1976 she will be doing a special called Sills and Burnett at the Met. She introduces Beverly Sills and her husband Peter Greenough, who are in the audience. 

            Someone asks Carol if she’s ever had electrolysis. Carol says just on her chest.

            Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are playing rock paper scissors when their daughter rushes in to announce that she’s met the one she wants to marry. Her mother reminds her that she engaged to marry the Earl of Shikawar. Vicki says she doesn’t want to marry him because he’s “a yutz like daddy”. Elizabeth and Philip decide that the best strategy is to give in. She brings in a soldier played by Tim and it’s the same one they encountered before who wouldn’t let them into Buckingham Palace when he was standing guard. Elizabeth tells the princess that this man once swallowed a live hand grenade and as a result he has no internal organs. The princess says she doesn’t care. Elizabeth gives her permission and the princess says they must prepare the palace for the royal wedding. Tim says he doesn’t want to get married in a palace but in the middle of the ocean. She gives in and says they can get a boat from the Royal Navy but Tim says he doesn’t want a boat. He wants them to be swimming when they tie the knot. Around this time the princess realizes he’s looney. Elizabeth asks him that when he’s out in the middle of the ocean doing the back stroke at night what will he see. He says he’ll see stars. Vicki hits him over the head with a vase and knocks him out, then they all leave. 

            Rita Morino does a dance with some of the male dancers while singing the 1968 song “Some Cats Know” by Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller. 

            Harvey plays a disgraced officer and Tim plays his commander at a cashiering ceremony. They start laughing from the start and find it hard to keep a straight face throughout the gag. He strips the stripes from Harvey’s right sleeve but can’t seem to get the left ones off. He can’t get his epaulettes but only threads off his shoulders. The medals won’t come off or the buttons on his coat. But during the whole process Tim’s uniform falls apart and his pants fall down until he final drops the charges against Harvey. 

            In a bank, Vicki is a new teller trainee being supervised by Carol. Tim is a novice bank robber being supervised by Harvey. Tim fumbles everything he’s supposed to say or do. Vicki and Carol are laughing because Tim hasn’t given them a note yet. Harvey is mad and tells him to give them the note. Tim is nervous and hands Vicki his gun instead of the note. Harvey takes it back from her. The note reads, “Put $300,000 in this bag, Love, Killer”. Tim forgot to give her the bag. He gives her one but it’s too small for that amount. Carol pulls out the $300,000 bag from behind the counter. Vicki starts to count out the money as she puts it in the bag: “$1, $2, $3…” Carol takes over as the teller and Harvey takes over as the robber, so now it is pro dealing with pro. She puts three $100,000 bundles in the bag, plus the bank calendar, “and a piggy bank for your little friend”. Carol and Harvey are very impressed with each other’s professionalism and are feeling mutual attraction. But she reluctantly says it wouldn’t work because she’s 9:00 to 5:00 and he’s ten to twenty. She says, “You’d better go because I pressed the silent alarm”. Two cops come in. One is a trainee and one is his supervisor. Tim mistakenly hands them his gun and they are arrested. 

            Harvey and Carol are a married couple and Harvey is going away for two days. Carol has been accident prone in the past but feels she is cured. However, just to be sure, Harvey has hired a nurse to watch over Carol for the time Harvey will be gone. Nurse Hawkins (played by Rita) arrives and refers to Carol as a “proney”. Hawkins begins to remove all potentially dangerous items from the apartment and put them in a bag. She picks up a cigarette lighter and says that it’s extremely dangerous, She lights it and burns Carol’s nose. Carol says, “You did it!” but Hawkins says Pronies are always looking for someone to blame. Hawkins takes a knife from the counter and drops it into a bag on the floor but she’s already put the bag on top of Carol’s foot so the knife goes through the bag and stabs Carol’s toe. Hawkins hits Carol in the head when she opens a door. Hawkins sits Carol down in the chair where she left her needlepoint. Carol gives up and admits that she’s accident prone and begins to direct the accidents towards Hawkins just as Hawkins did to Carol. Hawkins gets knocked around, accidentally stabbed, and has her fingers broken until she’s willing to leave. 

            Carol, Vicki and Rita play dishwashers in a fancy restaurant. Their positions are so low that their dreams aren’t much higher. Rita fantasizes about being a secretary while Carol dreams of being a hatcheck girl. They sing “Much More” by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones from the 1960 musical The Fantasticks. They then sing “There’s Gotta Be Something Better Than This” by Cy Coleman and Dorothy fields from the 1966 musical Sweet Charity. 

            Beverly Sills was considered the queen of US opera. She made her debut at the age of 3 won a Brooklyn Beautiful Baby contest in which she sang “The Wedding of Jack and Jill”. She made her professional debut at the age of 4 on Uncle Bob’s Rainbow House radio show. She began to study singing at the age of 7. At the age of 8 she made her film debut, singing in the short film Uncle Sol Solves It. At 16 she made her stage debut with a Gilbert and Sullivan company touring 12 cities in the US and Canada. She sang on the radio in her teens and made her opera debut in Carmen at the age of 18. She was the first US opera star to rise to the top without European training. Her voice type was characterized as lyric coloratura. She sang with the New York City Opera from 1955 to 1980. She became an international star after playing Cleopatra in Handel’s Julias Caesar in 1966. She appeared on the cover of Time magazine in 1971. She was largely associated with the operas of Donizetti. She made her Met debut in 1975 in in The Siege of Corinth and received an 18 minutes standing ovation. She recorded 18 full length operas. She won one Grammy Award. Gian Carlo Menotti’s La Loca was written for her to sing. In the late 1970s she won four Emmy Awards for her interview show Lifestyles with Beverly Sills. In later years she became the first woman to direct the New York City Opera Company. In 1994 she became the first female chairman for the Lincoln Centre for the Performing Arts. She was the Chair of the Metropolitan Opera from 2002 to 2005.