Slower than a Popcorn Fart?

            On Wednesday my plan was to go downtown for my spring-summer haircut, but first I wanted to finish writing my review of this month’s Words and Music Salon. I didn’t get it done though until around 14:30 and then it took me more than half an hour to get ready to leave.

            This was the first time I’d ridden all the way downtown with the bike I’d built. It feels like I need at least one higher gear. It seems to me that the Phoenix hybrid that I rode for twenty years had a little more power, so I might consider upgrading the gear system if it’s possible sometime in the future. It felt good on my knees to be riding again, but it didn’t feel so great afterward.

            While I was riding along Dundas, still not far from my neighbourhood, I passed a salon called “The Pantyhose Barber”. That has got to one of the worst names for a hairstyling shop that I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t even make sense. Is the barber always wearing pantyhose? Is the salon for customers that wear pantyhose or does pantyhose itself sometimes grow hair that needs to be cut?

            Further along Dundas I passed a business with a sign that read, “Tattoos while you wait!” That is so much more convenient than the other skin art shops that make you leave your epidermis over night for them to work on.

            When I arrived at Top Cuts, even though I only go there twice a year one of the older stylists recognized me and informed me that Amy had finished for the day at 15:00. I remember coming in a couple of times in the morning and finding out that she didn’t get there till the early afternoon. I was told to come back on Thursday. Maybe it’s only Tuesdays that she doesn’t come in until the afternoon.

            I didn’t think of it as a wasted trip because I’d gotten some exercise. Plus I stopped at the Australian Boot Company on the way back and got my Blundstones treated. Then I went to Freshco where I bought apples, ground beef, pea meal bacon, orange juice and yogourt. I also finally remembered to buy some dental floss.

            Before going home I went to the liquor store to buy a can of Creemore. While I was locking my bike someone asked the panhandler outside how it was going and he answered, “Slower than a popcorn fart!” I’ve never heard the expression but when I looked it up it’s usually, “Drier than a popcorn fart.”