One-Way Aisles in the Liquor Store

            On Wednesday morning the guitar calluses on the fingertips of my left hand were peeling and catching on the strings sometimes when I was changing chords.

I almost finished working out the chords for “Le bras mécanique" (The Mechanical Arm) by Serge Gainsbourg.

I weighed 89.5 kilos before breakfast but I weighed 89.3 before lunch, which proves that eating causes one to lose weight. Or maybe it was the bowel movement.

            I had a slice of cinnamon toast and a bowl of spoon size shredded wheat for breakfast for the first time in a month.

            For lunch I had peanut butter on a piece of toast.

            In the afternoon I went out to the liquor store. There was a social distancing line-up of about thirty people from Queen Street to the back of the parking lot and then winding back around along the side of the LCBO building. The first half of the line was a bit of an obstacle course because one had to skew one’s position in order to allow the parked cars to get out. When I was just five places away from the door the security guard called out that if anyone in line had been outside of Canada in the last three weeks they would have to go home. The irony was that he was pretty much the only one there who looked like they could have been outside of Canada recently.

            Inside they’ve marked the aisles with one-way arrows so only every other aisle can be used for lining up for the cashier. I bought my first six-pack of Creemore in a month.

            I wrote the rough drafts of six practice essays for Monday’s exam, two of which will actually be on the test. By 20:00 my brain was too tired to work on refining or researching any of my arguments.

            For dinner I had the rest of my ginger lima beans with a slice of toasted bread and a beer while watching four episodes of the Noggin the Nog storybooks. These stories are shorter and not animated at all but are rather just orated storybooks that are geared towards younger children than the animated stories.

            In the first story Noggin is helping to fix the roof of one of his subjects when he discovers a birds nest in a hole that he intends to mend. Noggin takes the nest to his castle and builds a box for the bird to make a nest in. Later while walking with Queen Nooka he wonders if he is also king of the birds. A little bird with a bell in its beak keeps flying over Noggin. Nooka thinks it wants them to follow it into the woods. In the woods they find all of the birds ringing bells. Then they see a great white own and Noggin concludes that the owl must be king of the birds. But the birds all bring feathers and things to make a wreath and the owl takes it and lays it at Noggin’s feet. Then the birds lift the wreath on Noggin’s head to crown him king of the birds.

            In the second story it is Noggin’s birthday. He got lots of presents from his subjects but he also liked to give presents of musical instruments to the children of Nog. Then Noggin would lead the children through town as they played music. He led them to a boat and they made music on the boat but suddenly a whale lifted the boat out of the water. Noggin told the whale not to do that. Later when they made music again the whale again lifted the boat. Noggin told the whale to stop. The whale went to sleep in the middle of the harbour gate and so none of the fishing boats could get in. They tried all means to move the whale but couldn’t make it budge. Finally Noggin’s son Knut figured out that what the whale wanted was something to make music with. So Olaf invented a floating barrel with bells attached and the whale happily pushed it out to sea, making music all the way.

            In the third story Knut and his friends tell Noggin that they want to go and hunt dragons in Dragon Valley. Noggin knows that the dragons left Dragon Valley years ago and so he says they can go with Thor Nogson as an escort. He tells them they can take his standard with them. Thor also brings two lanterns. The children search all day for dragons but find none. The children go to sleep and so does Thor but he wakes in the storm and sees a dragon with big shining eyes. Thor doesn’t see the boys anywhere and so he becomes frightened. He runs from the campsite with the dragon in pursuit. He bangs on the castle door but when it is opened they see that the dragon consisted of all the little boys walking in a line so they wouldn’t get lost and carrying Noggin’s standard with two laps attached.

            In the fourth story Noggin holds his annual agricultural fair and offers a golden cup as a prise for the best vegetables and animals. Nogbad shows up even though Noggin has told him that he is banished until he becomes good. Nogbad insists that he has become good and he has brought plants and animals to enter into the competition. Nooka tells Noggin that he can let Nogbad stay if he wants but she insists that Nogbad will always be bad. In the vegetable gourd competition Nogbad’s gourd is bigger and shinier than Thor’s and Noggin is about to give it the prize but Nooka sticks a pin in it and it pops because it is a balloon. Nogbad’s sheep is bigger than the other sheep and Noggin is about to give it the prize but Nooka reveals that it is a pig with wool glued on. Nogbad’s canary is bigger than the others and Noggin is about to give it the prize when Nooka insists that Nogbad's canary sing. It begins to caw because it is a crow that Nogbad has painted yellow. Nogbad grabs the golden cup and runs for his boat but Nooka says not to worry because she knew he was bad and had already pulled the plug on Nogbad’s ship.