The Adventures of Robin Hood

            Friday was my fourth day in internet homelessness.

            Early in the morning I could hear the call of the screaming homeless lady. She's been living in the streetcar shelter at Jameson and Queen and there’s as much garbage and half eaten take-out piled up around her as there is stuff in her shopping cart.

            In the morning I memorized verses five and six of “Si ca peut te consoler" (If it’s any Consolation) by Serge Gainsbourg.

            I went to Open Office to write my 1990s diary but it suddenly started numbering everything and sometimes vibrating. It took me three times as long as usual to write it.

            Then when I came back to my Bike Stories Year 7 journal in Word, it started behaving strangely as well. It asked me to save the document but then wouldn’t allow me to save it. I shut it down in Task Manager and started again but the same window came up. I was able to close the window and write a little more but the window kept returning until it once again wouldn’t allow me to write until I closed Windows. It happened again as well. I don't know how I could have picked up a virus without going online, unless it was from of the photos that I'd clicked to look at before deleting.
            I did a virus scan but nothing came up.

            I spent the rest of the morning deleting another 511 photos. That makes over a thousand that I’d deleted since last night. It took me almost until lunchtime before I was done.

            I had a slice of ham for lunch and some yogourt with honey.

            I had considered going downtown with my laptop

            I had considered going downtown with my laptop to access the U of T network but I went out on the deck and it felt too cold again for sitting outside.

I spent quite a bit of time moving or deleting files from my Downloads section,

excluding of course the incomplete torrents. Some of the pdfs went back a few years.

I did my afternoon exercises while listening to Amos and Andy.

In this story we learn that Kingfish hates all of Sapphire's relatives except for her Uncle Sylvester, who always sends them money. They receive the tragic news however that Sylvester is about to get married to a widow with nine children. That would mean that when Sylvester dies there will be no money left over for them.

Kingfish decides to try to get Andy to take the Widow Johnson away from Sylvester. But Andy takes one look at the widow and says no way. Kingfish tells Andy that he'll give him half of his inheritance and so he should end up with $15000. Suddenly the Widow Johnson is looking very pretty to him. Kingfish takes Andy to see her and Andy stops on the way to buy a teddy bear for the youngest. The youngest one answers the door and he's a big man with a deep voice. Andy says the deal is off.

Kingfish learns that Sylvester took sick when he arrived in town and went to a clinic to get checked out. Although he's feeling completely recovered he's still waiting on the clinic's report. Kingfish decides to send Sylvester a fake report to show him that he's sicker than he thinks he is. He copies the veterinarian's report from a cat he had that died a few years ago and sends that to him. But that only makes him want to marry the Widow Johnson sooner, since she is a registered nurse.

Next Kingfish decides his only option is to convince the Widow Johnson that Sylvester is a wife killing Bluebeard. He and Andy pose as secret service agents and manage to convince the widow that Sylvester is a murderer. She calls the wedding off without any explanation. Kingfish is relieved but then learns from Sylvester that he'd recently lost his fortune in the market and that marrying the wealthy widow Johnson had been his only chance.

My Word program was screwing up as I updated my journal. I finally switched to Open Office but that screwed up as well. It constantly wanted to number my lines no matter how many times or ways I turned numbering off. It took me all afternoon to get the work done.

This is one of the many problems with not having the internet. Normally I would be able to check online for a solution to this problem, but now I'm on my own. It took me two hours to write something that would normally take half an hour.

I rubbed a beef roast with olive oil, seasoned salt and pepper. I put it in the oven and then rode up the street to check out PARC. From the signs, it looks like the drop-in and all of the in-house programs are closed and they are just open to prepare meals for people to pick up.

Later Benji knocked on my door and handed me a slip of paper. He said our neighbour Shankar had given me his wifi password. I said I'd have to talk with Shankar first to find out if he has an unlimited plan. Otherwise my downloads might cost him a lot of money. I could maybe offer to pay the difference.

When I talked with Shankar he said it was okay. I told him if his bill goes up I could make up the difference.

I tried the password twice and the second time it worked. It was nice to be back online and to be able to post again. I was no longer stuck on the Outernet and outernepressed.

I watched the first two episodes of the British series from the 1950s, The Adventures of Robin Hood, starring Richard Greene. The first episode was listed in my folder as “movie zero” and in it Robin Hood had already established himself in Sherwood Forest with his band of outlaws and so I don’t think it was really the first episode. It was called “Sybella” and the Internet Movie Database lists it as episode one of season four.

The Earl of Steyne encounters two riders on his way out of England to join King Richard in the Holy Land. He carries a letter of introduction from Robin Hood to the king. Baron Onslow murders the earl and assumes his identity with the intention of killing King Richard. The baron heads for Nottingham to plot the assassination with the sheriff. That night the sheriff is holding a banquet and Ali the Juggler, one of Robin’s friends in the resistance will be the entertainment. Marian meets Robin in Sherwood Forest and he asks her to keep an eye on things at the banquet. Later that night the Juggler performs some magic and then his assistant Sybella performs a dance. Then Sybella demonstrates her photographic memory and can answer, even though she barely speaks English, any of 1000 questions in a book given to the guests. While Sybella is entertaining the guests Ali sneaks off the eavesdrop on the plot between the sheriff and the baron. The juggler is caught by a guard but kills him. He uses exploding powder to perform one last trick as he and Sybella disappear. The ride away from Nottingham but Ali is shot by a crossbow. Just before he dies he tells Sybella to find Robin. She rides away but is caught by a guard. Robin kills him with an arrow and Sybella faints. He takes her back to his camp but she is in shock and can tell them nothing except, "The new Earl of Steyne, three days, murder.” Robin says that Steyne was supposed to sail from Dover in three days and so he decides to go to warn him of a murder plot against him. But Marian says that Robin can't go because he could be recognized on the road. She says she will go under the pretence of having the earl take a message to her father in the Holy Land. Robin tells her she will find the earl at the Falcon inn but not to reveal who she is. Only that she represents Robin Hood. Marian rides to the Falcon and warns the impostor Baron Oslow of the plot to kill the Earl of Steyne, not realizing that the earl is already dead. Meanwhile back in Sherwood Forest, Robin plays an eastern melody on a flute and it jogs Sybella’s memory. She says, "The Earl of Steyne is dead and Baron Oslow has taken his place. In three days Oslow will sail for the Holy Land to murder King Richard." Robin rides to The Falcon and arrives just as Oslow is dining with Marian and telling her that she will be riding to Dover with him. Robin reveals that Oslow is a fraud and he duels with the two men, killing them both. Then Robin and Marian retire to Oslow’s room. Good heavens! But she is “Maid Marian”! That means that she's a virgin!

Sybella was played by Soraya Rafat who is listed as having had a few minor roles in films and TV shows from the mid 50s to the mid 60s.

 Marion was played in this season and the one before it by Irish actor Patricia Driscoll.

The second story is the real first episode. Sir Robin of Locksley, whose family are the official foresters of Sherwood, returns from the Crusades to find that his castle and property has been taken over and occupied by the Norman Lord Roger Delisle because it had been reported that Robin had died. When Robin goes to his home to inform Delisle that he is very much alive, Deslisle accuses him of being an impostor. As he is outnumbered, Robin leaves. Robin sleeps in Sherwood Forest that night and in the morning wakes to see a man poaching deer. He kills one but is caught by two foresters, who plan to punish him with hot pokers, blinding and dismemberment. Robin intervenes and forces the foresters to leave. Te poacher had wanted to bring meat to his starving family but now he cannot go home because he has become an outlaw. He says he will have to find and join the outlaws of Sherwood Forest. This is the first that Robin has heard of them. Robin says that he will bring the meat to the poacher’s children.

Robin goes to Nottingham to appeal to the sheriff. The sheriff sees that Robin’s papers are authentic and says that Roger will return his property to him after a document signing the following day. But the sheriff is in league with Deslisle and they plot to have Robin killed when he comes to reclaim his home. An assassin with a crossbow is waiting around a corner but Robin sees his shadow. He grabs Deslisle and uses him as a shield. Deslisle dies and Robin escapes as he is now wanted for murder. Robin goes to Sherwood Forest and builds a campfire. He makes up a bed and then when the outlaws come to rob him he jumps from a tree and says he wants to join them. Their leader does not trust him but the poacher Robin had saved comes forward and vouches for him. He is allowed to join and given the name Robin Hood because he wore a hood the day he rescued the poacher.