Saturday, 18 April 2020

Small Non-Essential Businesses Going Out of Business



            On Tuesday morning I finished posting my translation of “Le bras mécanique” (The Mechanical Arm) by Serge Gainsbourg and memorized the first verse of his last song from 1975, “Si ca peut te consoler" (If it’s any Consolation).
            Shortly after that the wifi went off. I am very glad that it didn’t go off on Monday because I would have been screwed for writing my exam. I assume it will come back on at some point since it has in the past. I noticed that there was someone working in the café across the street when he opened the door for someone else. They have a sign on their door saying that they are now delivering coffee and pastries. Since there are no large gatherings of people the delivery business in general can't be that lucrative, let alone coffee deliveries. I can’t see how one could deliver a cappuccino or a latté for instance and have them keep their texture.
            I was running out of paper towels and toilet paper and I was out of fruit and so I rode down to Freshco. The line-up this time only had twenty people ahead of me but about ten came in behind me in the first five minutes of waiting.
            The grapes were not very firm but I got three bags of the firmest I could find. A guy seemed annoyed as he waited for me to make my selections and when I was done he just grabbed a bag of black grapes without checking them. I knew all the black ones were too soft. I bought a half pint of raspberries, a beef roast, a bag of kettle chips, a container of raspberry skyr, a can of coffee, a bag of naan, a pack of toilet paper and another of paper towels. They were selling the largest packs of jumbo rolls of paper towels I’d ever seen but I didn't have room for that many so I just got a pack of six.
            I noticed somebody standing beside the library with his phone and so if the wifi doesn’t come back on I might go over there to see if I can connect.
            I made a kidney bean chilli with spaghetti sauce and chilli paste for lunch and had it with kettle chips.
            In the afternoon I went across the street to see if I could connect to the wifi of the café. There was a big white cloth hanging from the front window with the painted words, “CEBA won’t save us”. It refers to the Canada Emergency Business Account and a few businesses in Parkdale have put these signs up to send a message that they don’t qualify for the loan and may die because of that.
I sat down on the side by the bicycle racks because I thought there might be someone working inside. I couldn't connect to the network.
            I can’t really see why they even have a network there if they aren’t open to the public. Maybe it’s for taking delivery orders. Maybe it was because the guy was using the network that I couldn’t get on or maybe it was turned off.
            I went over to the Parkdale Library to see if their wifi was on. I’d read that some libraries were keeping their wifi on as a public service to those that need to connect on the street. I couldn’t find a library network on my list while I was up against the building. If I'm not connected by Tuesday I may ride downtown to see if I can connect from a bench on campus.
            I still couldn’t get online in the evening and so I spent some time organizing the digital photos I've collected and putting them in folders.
            For dinner I had a potato, one of the steaks I’d grilled on Monday and some canned gravy while watching the last three episodes of The Sooty Show.
            The first story begins on the morning of a day when Matthew had promised to take Soo, Sooty and Sweep to the seaside. Soo had set everyone's alarm clocks to go off early but when Sweep’s clock went off he and Sooty destroyed it to stop it ringing. When Matthew’s alarm rang he ignored it and went back to sleep. When Soo wondered why Matthew hasn’t woken yet Sweep says his alarm clock must be broken and so he tries to “fix” it in the same way that he broke his own. When Matthew gets up they all prepare for their trip to the seaside but they pack as if they are going for a week when they are only going for a day and so Matthew gets them to pack lighter. They head out but Matthew gets lost. Matthew follows the sound of the seagulls but winds up at the dump. It’s after dark and they are still driving. Matthew stops at a house to ask for directions and it turns out to be their house. Everyone is down in the dumps about not making it to the beach and so Matthew prepares a picnic at home with seaside sound effects for background. He also prepares to turn their home the next day into a seaside holiday, with a sandbox and an inflated pool.
            The next story begins with Soo, Sooty and Sweep learning that Matthew is planning a picnic and a boat trip. They are so excited that he doesn’t have a chance to tell them that he’s planning on going alone for a little break. He is finally able to tell them at the last minute and they are of course disappointed. Matthew is out on the Thames enjoying his trip but when he tries to pull in his bottle of champagne that had been cooling in the water, it is gone because the rope had broken. Then his engine breaks down. Fortunately Soo, Sooty and Sweep have rented to boat ahead of him and they give him a tow but Matthew still wants to be left alone. He has a lavish picnic prepared for himself with smoked salmon and other delicacies laid out on a blanket on the grass. Meanwhile Soo, Sooty and Sweep’s captain is presiding over a barbecue picnic for them. Matthew realizes he has forgotten the salt and goes back to his boat to fetch it. While he is gone a dog comes along and eats all of his food. Then it begins to rain. He goes to the other boat and knocks to ask for shelter but Soo, Sooty and Sweep are having a party and put up a sign saying, "Leave us alone." We learn later that they did let Matthew in.
            In the final story Matthew brags about having been an expert water skier when he was in school. He takes Sooty and Sweep to the water to show them the water skiers but the whole time is critiquing their technique. Sooty and Sweep borrow a wetsuit and a water ski for Matthew to put on so they can take pictures of him. Sweep has him pose on the dock while holding onto the line but Matthew doesn’t realize that Sooty has started the boat and takes off, pulling Matthew into the water. The next few minutes are supposed to show what a horrible water skier Matthew really is but whoever is being filmed would have to be an expert to look so clumsy and yet stay on his feet. Eventually Matthew takes a tumble and admits that he had been exaggerating about his skills.
            I’m glad that was the last of The Sooty Show downloads. Maybe they would have been better in the 1950s when Matthew's father was the host. It's a bit hard to relate to pre-school level humour.

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