Spanky and Our Gang

            On Monday morning I woke up at 2:00 to the arrival of the toothache I’d been expecting. I just hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. I couldn’t sleep with the pain going on and so at 2:20 I got up and went to the washroom to grab little tube of  extra strength Tylenol that I’d bought years ago and out of which I’d only taken one. I took one this time and waited for it to kick in as the pain got worse and expanded to include an earache. I walked aimlessly around the apartment, naked with my hands on my head or flailing and clawing the air. Sometime I would stop to lean forward on something with my head down, seeking some magical position that would alleviate the pain. Finally I sat down at the computer, went on line and looked at Japanese porn, which distracted me for a few minutes until I had to get up to do my aimless pain dance again. Tylenol is supposed to take about 45 minutes for its effects to be felt. In this case it took almost an hour and even then at first it didn’t fully take away the pain but rather filed a bit off the tip of its fangs. I sat down and looked at some more Japanese porn and saved some pictures. It was 4:00 by the time I felt like I might be able to sleep. I went to bed and though I didn’t really sleep I at least got an hour's rest without pain.

            I got up at 5:00 as usual. The pain wasn’t totally gone but it was manageable with the help of the Tylenol. I took one tablet every four hours throughout the day.

            That morning I memorized all but the last five lines of “L'homme à la tête de chou" (The Man with the Head of Cabbage) by Serge Gainsbourg.

            I worked on writing in my journal.

            At 9:30 I called Smile City to make an appointment. Someone answered but she told me they were closed because of Ontario Government orders. I was surprised that Doug Ford considered dental clinics to be non-essential services. She agreed with me that they should be allowed to open. She gave me the phone number for the emergency dental clinic and also told me that there is a dental clinic at Mount Sinai Hospital. She said that they are hoping that in a couple of weeks the government might ease the restrictions and allow them to open.

            I called the emergency number but received an annoyingly perky message from Freedom Mobile that “This person is not taking calls right now. Try a text!”

            I called Mount Sinai and found out that there are no appointments for their dental clinic. It must be accessed through the hospitals general emergency centre. Although I've always had pretty good treatment any time I've had appointments at Mount Sinai I imagined that I would have to wait Hours to get dental treatment through their emergency section. It seemed to me that there must be more than two dental clinics open in a city the size of Toronto and so I did a search. I found the website of the Royal College of Dental Surgeons of Ontario and it had a page with a list of every dental practice in Ontario that meet the proper safety requirements and have the personal protective equipment needed to offer emergency services during the pandemic. On the list I found the Midtown Dental Centre at Yonge and Bloor and called them. The woman who answered the phone liked my double name and gave me an appointment for 12:15 the next day.

            I washed the inside of the frame of my apartment door. Next I’ll wash the frame of the big mirror in my kitchen and then clean the mirror itself.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. This 1951 episode was very similar to a story from 1950 in which Kingfish thinks that Andy has accidentally taken the picture of  a jewellery store robber for whom there is a $1000 reward. The only difference is the trick that Kingfish uses to try to get the film roll away from Andy. In this story there is large piece of plaster ready to fall from the ceiling at the lodge hall and so under the pretence of playing a game of canasta Kingfish positions Andy under it and keeps finding excuses to slam the door in order to loosen the plaster so it will knock Andy out. But after several tries Kingfish ends up knocking himself out. As in the other story, in the end when the film is turned in to the police and they are told that the thief is in the last frame, it turns out that only Kingfish is in the picture after all, which results in him being arrested.

            For dinner I had a potato and some pork ribs with gravy while watching two episodes of the 1950s game show Take a Good Look hosted by Ernie Kovacs from October of 1959.

            In the first one the panellists were Cesar Romero, Janet Leigh and Hans Conried.

            The first guest is Chuck Essegian of the LA Dodgers, who was the first pinch hitter to hit two home runs in a world series baseball game.

            The first clue is a 16^th Century painting of Adam in the Garden of Eden.

            Janet Leigh guesses that the guest was the first to do something and then asks if he was naked like Adam while he did it.

            Hans Conried guesses that the achievement was athletic and professionally so. He also guesses that the game was baseball.

            In the second clue the guest is handed three violins. He stands up, throws two of them away and then swings the third like a bat.

            Janet Leigh guesses that the achievement occurred in the last two weeks during the World Series, that he hit two home runs and that he is Chuck Egressian. She is very excited about getting it right.

            The guests arrive from the back by way of a rotating stage from which there is one step to get down. For the second guest Ernie gets up and takes her hand, explaining that this woman is near sighted like his wife Edie Adams, who he also helps down steps.

            The first clue shows a scene in which Peggy Connelly dances out to 1920s music.

            Hans Conried guesses that the clue indicates the period of the guest’s accomplishment and that she was an entertainer.

            In the second clue Ernie goes to an easel with a drawing pad that already has a sketch of an eye. Below it he draws a door, writes “DB" and then rips the door open so that several bone shaped dog treats come falling out.

            As the guest is not very old, Cesar Romero guesses that her achievement must have occurred when she was very young and that she had been a child star in motion pictures and that she had made a movie with a dog.

            The third clue shows someone drawing a heart with an arrow going through it and inside the names Johnnie and Jean.

            Janet guesses that the guest’s name is Jean.

            Hans guesses that her name is Jean Darling but he can’t remember the movie she was in and so Jean wins the $300.

            She is Jean Darling from the Our Gang series of films. A clip is shown of a scene in which a cop is unsuccessfully chasing the children while the token black child with the comically wild hair is chasing a runaway watermelon. Ernie then introduces several of the members of the Our Gang cast.

            JR Smith who played Freckles is now the owner of a paint store.

            Jackie Davis is now a physician.

            Sherwood Bailey who played Spud is now a project engineer for a construction company.

            Johnnie Downs is now the host of a children’s television program at a local station.

            Alan Hoskins who played Little Farina now works for the state of California.

            Ernie has them all pose together and then brings out a bull terrier with a black patch on its eye much like the dog that appeared in the Our Gang series.

            For the third guest there is no time for three clues and three rounds of questions. We are shown a rose, a fishbowl and a suspended beatnik beret with sunglasses. They can only guess that it happened in Los Angeles. Ernie reveals that the guest is Scott Crossfield, who flew the X-15 rocket plane at twice the speed of sound to the edge of space, burning nine tons of fuel in three minutes before landing the plane.

            In the second show I watched the panel consisted of Cesar Romero, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Hans Conried.

            When Ernie introduces Zsa Zsa he says that she’s stolen more towels from the Hilton than anyone. She says, “I didn't have to steal them!" This is a reference to the fact that Zsa Zsa was married to Conrad Hilton.

The first guest is Karol Fageros who was banned from playing tennis at Wimbledon because she wore gold panties.

The first clue shows three clocks, each showing time in a different city. The cities are London, Bombay and New York.

Hand Conried guesses that the guest travelled to the three cities mentioned and that she is from the southern United States.

The second clue shows two people in multiple exposures to make them look like an audience and they are moving their heads back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

Zsa Zsa guesses that the guest is a tennis athlete and that she wears golden panties.

Karol says she will be turning professional and going on a world tennis tour.

The accomplishment of the second guest is not revealed beforehand.

The first clue is the caduceus, which is the winged staff entwined with two serpents that is the emblem of the medical profession.

Hans guesses that the guest is a doctor and that he has made a recent discovery.

Cesar guesses that the guest achieved an award.

The second clue shows Santa Clause receiving a speeding ticket for travelling at 1017 km per hour.

Hans guesses that it has something to do with speed.

The third clue is just the audio of tires screeching.

Cesar guesses that the guest broke a speed record.

Ernie reveals that the guest is Colonel Paul Stapp, the fastest man on Earth, who broke a speed record in a rocket sled. His weight increased to 3057 kilos during the forward motion.

The third guest is Fred Demara, the great impostor, who has successfully passed himself off as a naval surgeon, a Latin teacher, a college dean, a science teacher a prison warden and a trapist monk.

The first clue shows Ernie playing piano as his ridiculous hats keep changing.

Cesar guesses that the guest’s accomplishment involves a change of hats. The guest says no but Ernie says there is a yes in there.

Zsa Zsa guesses that he travels to many foreign countries.

Hans Conried disqualifies himself because he knows who the guest is.

The second clue shows the guest dressed as Santa and arguing with the same cop about the speeding ticket.

Cesar guesses that the guest is the great impostor.  We learn that while he was posing as a naval surgeon he performed a number of successful operations, including the removal of a lung.

At the end it shows Demara taking the place of Ernie Kovacs as he says goodnight.

I took two Tylenol before bed because one did not fully dull the pain and I wanted to be able to sleep.