Perking Up the Mantel

            On Tuesday morning I finished posting “L'homme à la tête de chou" (The Man with the Head of Cabbage) by Serge Gainsbourg on Christian’s Translations.

            I worked on my journal.

            I washed my kitchen mantle with wood soap. I tried to gently scrape off a lot of the white paint that was splattered onto it before I moved in but I guess I need to use alcohol or nail polish remover or paint thinner.

            I had peanuts and yogourt for lunch.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. In this story Kingfish and Sapphire get invited to a high class soiree and so Sapphire insists on a new evening dress. He goes to the department store and almost buys her a maternity dress because mistook the spelling for “maturity”. He gets her a dress for $19, which would be about $190 now and has it wrapped. But when he goes to the pick-up desk he takes the box that’s sitting there, assuming it is his. It turns out to be a gold lamé Paris original evening gown that would now be worth $4000. Sapphire loves it but he sees it's not the dress he bought and then he finds out the Paris gown has been reported stolen. He also finds out that the woman that owns the dress is the one that invited them to the party and so he has to prevent Sapphire from going. He convinces Sapphire’s mother that a notorious food poisoner who poisons food at parties is on the loose and so she forbids Sapphire to go. Kingfish thinks he's in the clear but then when Sapphire tries to return the golden dress she is arrested.

            I bent my chain guard back into place and then took a bike ride. It was a lot more chilly than it has been for the last few days. I wore my hoody but I could have used a scarf, my jacket and my spring gloves. Once I got rolling I was warmed up. A big woman kept jumping red lights to get ahead of me. I would pass her easily and then she’d do it again. At one point when she was stopped at a red light ahead of me a guy went through the red light and she called after him, “Red light asshole!”

            I got caught up on my journal for the first time in several days.

            I rubbed four chicken legs with olive oil, seasoned salt and cayenne and roasted them.

            I’ve noticed lately that my computer has been getting really slow in the evening. At first I thought I had a virus but the scans have come up clean. Today I tried restarting it in the evening and it’s fine. I guess that like me it's getting old and needs a nap to keep going.

            I started downloading more episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood. I can’t take on the entire series at once because it’s 125 gigs. It seems to be downloading faster this time, perhaps because I have a better connection.

            I had a chicken leg, a potato, a carrot and a sautéed red pepper for dinner while watching two more episodes of Robin Hood.

            The first story features Alan-a-Dale, who is part of the Robin Hood legend as a minstrel member of the outlaw band but in this case he is Sir Alan. Prince John has laid claim on Alan’s estate and sent a bailiff to confront him. The bailiff drew his sword and Alan killed him in self defence. Then Alan set out for London to dispute Prince John’s claim. Meanwhile Alan was tried for murder in his absence. Alan does not know he is an outlaw. He stops at the Blue Boar and while he is playing his harp and having an ale the bolt of a crossbow comes in through the window, narrowly missing him. Robin happens to be in the other room when he hears the arrow. Robin introduces himself as Robin Hood the outlaw and so Alan immediately distrusts him. Robin draws his sword and insists on escorting Alan through Sherwood Forest because he does not want his men to be blamed if Alan is assassinated along the way. Still distrusting Robin, Alan surprises and knocks him out. Alan had just come from visiting Marian and the Sheriff asks her what path he took when he left. She lies and tells him it was the western path. Then she rides to catch up with Alan. But when she finds him they are surrounded by the sheriff’s men and an arrow grazes Marian’s leg. She tells Alan to wait there while she rides to get help. Robin regains consciousness just as Marian arrives. Alan is confronted by two more soldiers but his horse runs off while he’s fighting them. Alan encounters Will Scarlet who tells him that he must escort him to camp but Alan fights him as well. They wind up breaking each other’s legs and are stuck together. Trying find Alan again Marian is thrown from her horse. The sheriff knows that Alan has a female accomplice but he does not suspect Marian. Marian tears her blue cloak while struggling through the brush. The sheriff finds the piece of fabric while Robin is watching from cover. As the sheriff is following the woman’s trail he sees the figure in the blue cloak riding away on horseback. The sheriff gives chase and they ride past where Will and Alan are hiding. Alan swings his harp by one of its broken strings and then throws it to knock the sheriff off his horse. The sheriff gets up and comes at them with his sword drawn. Will can barely stand but he draws his sword. The sheriff is about to make short work of him when the blue cloaked figure, that is Robin Hood, comes up behind him with sword drawn. Robin sends the sheriff on his way with out horse or sword. Robin examines the legs of Will and Alan and tells the men their limbs are merely dislocated. He quickly but painfully sets them both into place.

            The second story was simpler. The sheriff comes to visit Sir Richard of Lea, who was saved from financial ruin by Robin Hood. The sheriff knows Richard is a friend of Robin and he comes to him because he is certain that in Giles Black he has found an archer that could defeat Robin in a contest. They make a bet and the sheriff promises that he will give Robin immunity during the time of the competition and will not try to arrest him. Little John comes to compete as well and Marian and Friar Tuck come to Sir Richard's castle to cheer them on. The sheriff’s champion is very good and hits the bull’s-eye dead centre. But Robin’s arrow splits Black’s arrow and he gives up, declaring Robin to be the greatest archer in England. The sheriff has his men surround Richard’s castle to wait for Robin and Little John to emerge but they stay. Two weeks go by and Robin, John and Tuck are eating and drinking Richard out of house and home. Finally Richard re-digs a long closed off secret tunnel that leads to behind where the sheriff's men are stationed. But Robin and the others refuse to use it, saying they could not abandon Richard when his castle is under siege. Richard goes through the tunnel himself and comes up behind the sheriff, surprising him with casual conversation about how he’s holding up. He tells the sheriff that Robin left a week before and so the sheriff angrily takes his men back to Nottingham. Then Richard calls for help outside the gate and Robin, John and Tuck come running to his aid. Richard quickly runs back inside and locks them out. When they plead to get back in Richard says he’s fond o f them but a man’s castle is his home.