The Iconic Battle Between Robin and Little John

            On Friday morning I worked out most of the chords for “L'homme à la tête de chou" (The Man with the Head of Cabbage) by Serge Gainsbourg.

            I worked on my journal.

            Around noon I cleaned the middle part of the upper shelf in my bedroom and washed the outsides of the three storage containers that I keep there.

            In the afternoon I did my exercises while listening to Amos and Andy. This story starts with Sapphire’s mother, Ramona Smith moving back in with her and Kingfish. As usual Ramona and Kingfish argue but this time the argument about Kingfish’s laziness turns into a challenge, as he bets her that he can get a job before she does. He sees an ad in the paper for a job in a department store and that as part of the application one must take an aptitude test. But when Kingfish shows up for the IQ test he sees Ramona there as well. When they are finished they have to hand in their tests to a certain room. Ramona has an appointment and so she asks Kingfish to hand in her test for her. Kingfish thinks Ramona probably did better on the test than he did and so he switches their names. But he outsmarted himself, as when a few days later they receive the results by mail Ramona had gotten the highest mark while Kingfish scored only 75. As a result Kingfish is appointed a delivery boy and Ramona becomes his boss. She works Kingfish so hard that he plots to find a way to get her fired. Kingfish and Andy go to the company president's office. Kingfish tells him that Ramona has abandoned her twelve children and presents Andy as the husband left behind to care for the kids. The president fires Ramona and holds another aptitude test to fill her position. Kingfish is sure he’s gotten the high score, especially when the results are posted on the company bulletin board and he sees “Stevens” at the top. But it turns out that it’s his wife Sapphire Stevens who got the high score and is now his boss.

            Because it was a sunny and fairly warm spring day I couldn’t think of an excuse not to take a bike ride. I left a little after 17:00 but decided first to ride up the street to see if the Freedom Mobile store in my neighbourhood was open. Last month because of the coronavirus the only store open downtown had been at Spadina and Queen. But when riding past the Parkdale store recently I noticed activity inside. It was open but there were four customers inside and there was a sign on the door indicating only two customers at a time should be in the store. I waited for at least five minutes before the guy behind the counter started signalling something to me that seemed to have a negative message. I looked at the sign again and saw that they closed at 17:00 and so I realized I’d been standing there for nothing. I figured I could pay for my plan on Saturday anyway.

            As I rode up Brock Avenue my chain got jammed between the cogs and the wheel. I got it back on the teeth but my hands were black as a result. I tried to clean the grease off with some Purell that I had in my backpack but it only served to spread it a little thinner. A few minutes later my shoelace got caught and wound up in the chain and so I had to stop. At first I couldn’t move my foot to get it free but then I realized it would be loosened by pedalling back a half turn.

            I rode to Yonge and Bloor, south to Queen and then home.

            I had a carrot, a potato, four pork ribs and some gravy for dinner while watching two episodes of The Adventures of Robin Hood.

            The first story was from the fourth season, as every other story in set one seems to be. Will Scarlet, a former member of Robin’s merry men has returned to Sherwood Forest although Robin doesn’t know it yet. They just happen to be hunting the same deer but Will, with his high tech crossbow fires first. But his arrow produces a whistling sound that startles the deer. Just then two of the sheriff’s men come to arrest Will for poaching. He duels with them but is overwhelmed. Robin and Derwent come to the rescue and chase the foresters away. Then Will's girlfriend Maude emerges from the bushes. Maude is the daughter of a nobleman with whom Will is visiting under an assumed name. It’s too late for Maude to go home and so Robin invites them to stay the night in his camp. Meanwhile Maude's father is meeting with the sheriff of Nottingham and is outraged to learn Will’s true identity. He thinks Maude has been abducted by Robin Hood.

            In Robin’s camp they are examining Will's crossbow and Will claims that it can beat a longbow. Robin is doubtful and so they have a contest. Will wins for distance.

            Will and Maude start out back to her father but stop in the woods to smooch along the way. It is there that Will is arrested by three of the sheriff’s men. Will is very nonchalant about the prospect of being hanged. He sees that the sheriff is interested in his crossbow and learns that none of the sheriff’s men have figured out how to work it. He proposes a deal that if he proves that the bow can kill a man at 400 paces he will be set free. When Marian learns of this deal she rides to tell Robin. The men agree to save Will if only to prevent the sheriff from acquiring and reproducing Will's crossbow.

            When the sheriff, his men and Will get to the woods for the demonstration the sheriff tells Will that he will be the target. He says that if the lieutenant fails to kill Will with the crossbow then Will will be hanged for not proving the crossbow's worth. If he is killed then he will be free to go. Will begins running and ducks under the bolt. The sheriff rides to him, draws his sword and demands that Will run or ... Robin steps out with his bow and disarms the sheriff. He tells the sheriff to tell the men to drop their weapons and then Robin gets Will’s crossbow. He then tells the sheriff to run. Robin fires Will’s crossbow and pins the sheriff’s sleeve to a tree. Will escapes with Robin and rejoins the band in Lincoln green.

            Will Scarlet was played by Paul Eddington who became a star in the 80s in the comedy series “Yes Prime Minister" for which he was awarded the honour of Commander of the British Empire.

            The second episode I watched was the third of the first season and the one I remember most from childhood. It features the quarter staff battle between Robin and Little John on the log bridge at the moment when they first meet. This is a battle that I and my friends re-enacted many times when I was a kid. The story begins with John being mistreated by his Norman lord and so he lifts him up by one arm and sets him on a high window ledge. John escapes into Sherwood Forest where he encounters a serving wench fetching water. She offers to feed him at the Blue Boar where she works but does not realize that some of the sheriff’s soldiers are there dining. The captain recognizes John and offers him a deal that he will let him go free if he brings them one of the outlaws of Sherwood. John agrees and it is Robin that he encounters and defeats on the log bridge. John offers to buy Robin an ale at the Blue Boar and Robin agrees. As they walk they talk and John realizes that he likes this man. He tries to convince him not to enter the Blue Boar but Robin insists. It turns out that Robin knew it would be an ambush. When Robin is captured so is John and the promise by the soldier is broken. John breaks free of his bonds and almost single handedly takes out all of the soldiers.

            Little John was played by Archie Duncan who had the same birthday as John Wayne and myself. Except that Duncan was born 41 years before me and Wayne 48.