Stefanianna Christopherson

            On Wednesday morning I memorized the third verse of "Le java des chaussettes à clous" (The Dance of the Studded Stockings) by Boris Vian. 

            I memorized the second verse and almost the third of "Lola Rastaquouère" by Serge Gainsbourg. 

            I cut my song practice short and finished at 8:00 to prepare for the exterminator's visit. According to my neighbour the landlord said they were coming between 8:00 and 12:00 but the landlord was probably lying since the pest control people don't usually start until 9:00. I put all my bedding in garbage bags and cleared all my guitars and clutter out of the bedroom. I swept and mopped the entire apartment for the first time in a long time. I was done preparing by 9:15 although I still don't know what procedure if any I was preparing for since I hadn't seen a bedbug since the first one I'd found 15 days ago. Since I'm leaning towards the conclusion that I killed the only adult and that it didn't have the chance to lay eggs, I didn't thoroughly empty my bedroom, take down the shelves, remove the furniture or empty any drawers. 

            I weighed 88.4 kilos before breakfast. 

            Steve the Orkin guy came at around 10:00. I put the last third of my bowl of spoonsize shredded wheat down to get soggy and put on my mask to open the door. I told him the story of going to get my covid shot at Vina Pharmacy, sitting on the couch and the next day finding one bedbug. I told him it had been fifteen days since I'd found the one and that I hadn't seen another but I wasn't sure that it hadn't laid eggs. He confirmed what I'd already read, that bedbug eggs take ten days to hatch. He said that either the bug was male or else a female that hadn't gotten a chance to lay any eggs before I killed her. He said he'd do a treatment anyway but I asked him not to use any poison. So he fired up the steamer and ran it over my futons and the baseboards beside the bed and behind the couch. Then he laid down some powder and some sticky monitors and said they'd be coming back to do a follow-up in two weeks. Steve was very professional and seemed like a nice guy. 

            The morning was shot for my oven door cleaning project but at least I'd gotten the place swept and mopped. 

            I heard Benji in the hall mopping the floor I thought I'd go out to let him know that there doesn't seem to be a pest situation. We chatted for a while and then Shankar came out to talk as well. We were out there until after noon and I slipped away when Benji's phone rang. 

            I weighed 89.4 kilos before lunch. 

            I took a siesta in a noticeably cleaner bedroom and after I got up at 15:30 I went out on the deck to get my mop that had been drying out there and Benji and Shankar were still talking. 

            I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. I weighed 88.5 kilos when I got back. 

            I worked on revisions to my "Paranoiac Utopia" manuscript based on Albert Moritz's recent suggestions. I made quite a few changes to my poem "Junk Shop Bizarre." Albert had suggested that I end line 5 with "bleed" and begin line 6 with "a smile." I like that suggestion for the way it emphasizes the assonance of "melpomene and bleed". But "a smile or hello" as a line beginning feels slightly off rhythm and so I changed it to "a smiling hello", plus I've taken the quotation marks off the "hello." Also while looking at line 5 it occurred to me it would be more natural and would also add a nice string of rhythmic assonance if I took out "I have" and replaced it with I've got" so that the line now goes: "Sometimes I've got the guts to cut ..." Albert informed me that "lays back" is incorrect, but I don't like the sound of "lie" here. His suggestion of "lays herself back" showed me that I could still find a way to use "lay" and so I came up with: "lays body back on car boot as companions laugh and watch/ her spread her legs and call for a big cock." Albert suggested that I replace "because" in line 18 with a dash. I still prefer "because" but I moved "finds me" to the end of line 18 so that I have it ending with "Parkdale finds me" to suggest other possibilities of discovery before concluding with "indigestible" in line 19. I fixed the punctuation in another poem. 

            I made naan pizza with basilicata sauce, rapini parmigiano sausage and old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching the first two episodes of "Mayberry R.F.D." "RFD" is a postal term that stands for "rural free delivery" that I wasn't familiar with because I don't think we have it in Canada.

            The first story begins with a send-off of Andy as he finally marries Helen. Barney returns as the best man and is the only real source of comedy for this episode as he fumbles for the ring, tries to hold Andy's hand, leaves the church with the bride and groom and follows them on their honeymoon. We learn that Aunt Bee plans on moving back to West Virginia to live with her sister. But then Sam asks her to come and live with him and his son to be their housekeeper and cook and to care for Mike. She turns him down but then changes her mind. She is however not used to farm life with aggressive milk cows and having to reach under chickens to get the eggs they are sitting on. So she decides to leave but then she looks at the Jones family album with Mike and after hearing of the bravery of the family's matriarchs she is inspired to stay and face the animals. 

            There is no trace of the Vincente family who we saw move in with Sam at the end of "The Andy Griffith Show", or any mention of where they went. I guess the producers decided this is an alternative reality where the Vincentes don't exist. 

            In the second story Sam is helping to organize the Mayberry Harvest Dance. Suddenly Sam is attracted to Millie Swanson, who almost married Howard Sprague on The Andy Griffith Show" but now she is also smitten with Sam. But then Goober tells Sam he wants to ask Millie out but doesn't know what to say and he asks Howard to write a letter to her for him. Sam has the letter half written when he's called away. Then Millie comes by his office, sees the letter and is very happy because she thinks it's from Sam to her. When she gets the letter from Goober she is disappointed but politely goes with him to the dance. At the dance we see Emmett dancing up a storm again. Howard is with a constantly grinning woman named Grace whom he met in a health food store. When Goober goes to get punch he leaves Millie with Sam and since the line is so long Emmett suggests that Sam and Millie have a dance. When Goober sees them together he sees a magic that he knows he couldn't have with Millie and so he fakes sickness and leaves. But on the way out he sees Dorothy the ticket seller who likes Goober. She's taken all the tickets and has no date so she's waiting for her bus. Goober offers her a ride. 

            Grace was played by Pat Carpenter.

            Dorothy was played by Stefanianna Christopherson, who was the voice of Daphne on the first season of "Scooby Doo Where Are You?" Her father was from Canada and her mother from Iceland. At the age of 18 she moved to Iceland where she had a multi language singing career for a couple of years. In 1968 she starred in the film "Reality." She was the voice of Princess Dawn in "Here Comes the Grump." She wrote and sang the song "Crystal of a Star" for the movie "Star Crystal."