Francine York

            On Sunday after midnight before going to sleep I did my usual search for bedbugs. There were none along the baseboards or the walls just above but up near the top of the old exit door there was one fat with blood just waiting to be popped. The pattern usually seems to be that I find one every other day. It's weird how when a few of them travel high it's never high on the wall but always up to the top of that door. Seven years ago during the previous infestation before I sealed the door up it was their favourite hangout. I wonder if there are still pheremone trails that lead them there despite all the sanding I've done.

            I had gone to bed more than an hour early the night before and so after I woke up at 2:30 to pee I just laid in bed until I couldn't stand it anymore at 3:45. 

            I did yoga early. 

            I worked out the chords to the intro of my song "Sugar", the lyrics to which are a poem in the book I'm trying to publish. 

            Shankar's wifi network was still off on my computer but I saw that I was connected on my phone and so I tried to tether and it worked for a few seconds but not long enough to post my blog. I was only able to reach my blog before my phone was connected with no internet. I was able to connect to the dlink network but the signal was too weak to even reach my blog. 

            I ran through singing my translation of "La fautive" by Serge Gainsbourg and it's ready to upload to Christian's Translations but I haven't been able to post anything for twenty four hours. I tried tethering once more but again it only connected for a few seconds. I wish Shankar would restart his router. He says it's connected at his end but maybe it would strengthen if he restarted enough to include me. 

            I left at 6:55 to go to the fracture clinic at St Joseph's Health Centre. There are construction fences closing off Queen Street from Triller to the end of Queen and continuing onto The Queensway. The area looks like a wilderness, especially at that hour of the morning. The sidewalk is open but it's lined with fences that have been there for so long there are now tall weeds growing alongside them. 

            At St Joseph's Emergency the security guard wanted me to use a different entrance but I told her I'd been told to come in through Emergency so she let me through. 

           The receptionist at the fracture clinic called me "my dear" so I wondered if she was from down east. My name was called fairly soon to go in and sit on a bed in the clinic. The person who called me was perhaps a nurse. She brought up my chart on the computer, looked at my x-rays and asked if I'd been given a sling. I said I hadn't and worried about having to wear one because it seemed like it would be uncomfortable considering that it was painful to bend my arm that much. I waited at least twenty minutes for the doctor and while doing so I read my chart: "Shoulder demonstrates normal alignment. No acute cortical destruction or fracture. Alignment about the elbow within normal limits." 

            Dr. Fu is an attractive young woman. When she asked about my mobility I told her I do yoga every day and have never been so limited. She asked if I could do the sun salutation and I said not raising my arms. She had me try to do some movements. She said the limitations of my elbow are just due to the wound that needs to heal but my inability to raise my right arm in a forward lift is due to a shoulder sprain. She said these things have a tendency to work themselves out but she wanted to check my progress in two weeks. If it doesn't improve she will recommend physiotherapy. I know the physiotherapy is at St Joe's because I went there years ago for a hand fracture. 

            Melissa the receptionist gave me an appointment for Tuesday September 14 at 16:00, but I went to the washroom and when I came out she called me back to change it to September 21 at the same time. I was worried at first about an appointment on Tuesday because of classes but then realized that all my classes this term are in the morning.

            I was home about an hour and twenty minutes after leaving for the clinic. 

            Shankar's wifi network was still dead on my computer but alive on my phone. I tried tethering again and this time it worked for several minutes and I was able to post yesterday's thirty year blog. But then it went off again. I unplugged my wifi adaptor for a while and when I reconnected it Shankar's network appeared and I was able to finally connect. It took me a couple of hours to get caught up on my blogs from yesterday and today. 

            I weighed 88.8 kilos before a late breakfast. 

            My upstairs neighbour David was supposed to come by at noon because we had a lunch date to go to Ali's for roti, but he didn't come. I weighed 89.6 kilos before lunch. I had Breton crackers with old cheddar and a glass of lemonade. 

            I took a siesta and slept fifteen minutes longer than usual.

            It took me longer than normal to post my blog and so I didn't get away for my bike ride until after 17:00. It was too late to go all the way downtown and besides I'd already ridden to the hospital and back earlier and so I just went as far as Bloor and Ossington. The vibrations caused by bumps irritated the wound on my elbow but now that I know there's nothing fractured I wasn't as concerned about the pain. I had my eye out for a couple of bike shops to stop at and see if they have caliper brakes but they were all closed and probably will be tomorrow as well because it's Labour Day. I weighed 88.8 kilos when I got home. 

            I worked on my poem series "My Blood In A Bug." 

            I worked on trying to synchronize the concert video with the studio audio in my project of making a video for my song "Instructions For Electroshock Therapy." I had previously inserted a video clip from Rosemary's Baby of a ring being removed to correspond with my line, "to avoid any bruises let no metal touch the skin that's my advice." I was trying to make it so the video and audio were lined up when I sing "that's my advice" but I removed too much of Rosemary's Baby and had to undo those cuts because it put the audio behind the video. I still have to fine tune it to get it in sync. 

            I made pizza on naan with Milanese sauce and extra old cheddar. I had it with a beer while watching two episodes of Gomer Pyle. 

            In the first story Sergeant Carter is complaining to Sergeant Hacker about Gomer's incompetence. Hacker tells Carter that he has the wrong approach to handling privates. This leads to a $50 bet between the two as Carter says Hacker can't take Gomer under his command at the mess hall for a week and have him prepare a tolerable meal for the men. The first thing Gomer ruins is the oatmeal, then the mashed potatoes. Screw up follows screw up until at the last minute Hacker learns that a visiting colonel wants to have dinner with the men on Friday. Hacker calls off the bet but also tells Carter that he'll be in trouble too if they don't do something. They rush to the mess hall but it's too late as the meal is already being served. Carter and Hacker are called to the visiting colonel's table and expect the worst but both sergeants are praised for their positive influence on Gomer. The colonel says the collard greens and ham hocks are the best he's tasted since he was growing up in Georgia. Gomer was supposed to have cooked salmon crockets but he couldn't understand the recipe and so he depended instead on the memories of his aunt's cooking in North Carolina. 

            The second story was extremely similar to one that was in The Andy Griffith Show. After coming out of a monster movie Gomer is talking to himself about how the posters for monster movies don't always match the plots of the films. A woman named Alice is walking by from inside the theatre and stops to chat with Gomer. They share a love of monster movies and cherry sodas and hit it off. After a couple of dates Gomer walks Alice home and he meets Alice's brother Lloyd. Alice suggests Gomer sit with her on the porch and after a while asks if he'd like things to be this pleasant forever. He says yes and Alice says she accepts his proposal. Gomer tells Carter he is engaged and Carter explains that it's a scam. The wife of a serviceman gets a monthly allotment. Carter says that as he is a sergeant and makes more money than Gomer Alice would dump Gomer for him at the drop of a hat. Carter proves it by coming to congratulate Alice on being engaged to Gomer. She moves in and Carter plays along until he says "why settle for beans when you can have steak" and she says "I accept". Alice sends a dear John letter to Gomer but Carter dumps Alice over the phone. However Carter is later called to the colonel's office and Alice and Lloyd are there threatening to sue him for breach of promise. Carter admits to the colonel that he proposed to Alice to save Gomer, but at no point did he actually propose. Lloyd is really her husband but they don't reveal that. They demand of Carter a $500 out of court settlement. Gomer offers to marry Alice to save Carter and suddenly Carter realizes he and Gomer have the upper hand. Since Alice was first promised to Gomer Carter says she has to marry him. Alice and her husband sneak out the back door. 

            Alice was played by Francine York who at seventeen was a runner up in the Miss Minnesotta contest. She persued a modelling career, moved to California and later won the Miss San Francisco pageant. She became a showgirl at a club called Bimbos which led to signing with her first agent in Hollywood. She starred in her first film, "Secret File: Hollywood." Jerry Lwis cast her in "It's Only Money" and he was so impressed he put her in his next five films. She co-starred in "Curse of the Swamp Creature", "Space Probe Taurus", "The Doll Squad", and she starred as a fictional Marilyn Monroe in "Marilyn Alive and Behind Bars." She played Niolani, the military leader of a matriarchal society on "Lost In Space." She played Lydia Limpit in two episodes of Batman. She was also successful as a fitness and nutrition instructor and a gourmet chef.