Sid Melton

            On Thursday after midnight before going to sleep I did my usual check for bedbugs. I found either a dead one or the empty husk of one on my bed as I was making it. That doesn't really count as finding a bedbug. Time will tell how well the poison and the powder worked yesterday. 

            I ran through singing my translation of "La java des chaussettes à clous" (The Tap dance of the Hobnail Boots) by Boris Vian, but I have to check with the recording that I've got the right chords for the final line. I should have that done tomorrow and then I'll upload the song to Christian's Translations.

            I listened on Sound Cloud to "Cool Men, Men de Mennen" by Serge Gainsbourg several times, trying to write down the lyrics. It's a radio ad featuring himself and Jane Birkin advertizing an eau de toilette for men by Mennen, but I couldn't discern them all. I moved on to 1980 and started memorizing his song "La Fautive" (The Whole Fault). There's a repeated phrase of "La fautive, c'est toi" (The whole fault is yours) before every two lines. There are only six sets of those lines with the whole song repeated four times, so it shouldn't take me long to memorize it. 

            I weighed 90.1 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I cleaned the sides and bottom of the rim of the first of my two muffin pans and started on the bottom of the pan. With the undersides of the muffin cups there are a lot of very close spaces to get at. I used copper wool, brushes, a scraper and three kinds of screwdrivers. The dirt comes off fairly easily when I can get at it. 

            I weighed 90.2 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride to Yonge and Bloor. On the way back I was riding along Richmond and I think I shifted up and then down too quickly, causing my chain to come off. It got wedged between the frame and the chain wheel and it took me ten or fifteen minutes to free it. After strugging with it upright I turned it upside down and kept trying to unwedge the chain by hand. Finally just hooking part of the chain on the teeth and moving the pedal caused the chain to unwedge itself. My hands were black with grease and I was planning on stopping at the supermarket so I took some Purell from my backpack and repeatedly used it to try and wash off the grease while wiping my hands with a fabric shopping bag. I was only partially successful and my hands felt extremely dry as a result. 

            At Freshco the grapes were cheap so I got five bags. I also bought two half pints of raspberries, a pint of strawberries, a basket of peaches, a frozen t-bone steak, some five year old cheddar, a bag of kettle chips, skyr, orange juice, two cans of peaches, a carton of spoon size shredded wheat, Earl Grey tea, two kinds of salsa and cayenne hot sauce. I looked for a lint roller because I use one a lot to take the lint and pocket dirt off my black mask. I looked down two aisles but couldn't find one. Finally I asked someone, who asked someone else. The guy showed me that they were in plain sight and I'd walked right past them before asking. I weighed 89.2 kilos when I got home. 

            I worked a bit on my poem series "My Blood In A Bug" but I really didn't do any writing. I thought about the poem "The Last Supper That Lasts Forever" and just moved a couple of lines around.

            I moved the film "Rosemary's Baby" back to the end of the timeline of the video I'm making for my song "Instructions For Electroshock Therapy." I trimmed it down to just the four and a half seconds of Rosemary's wedding ring being removed. Tomorrow I'll insert it into the main video to correspond with my line, "to avoid any bruises let no metal touch the skin." 

            I worked on rearranging the graffiti on one of the bricks in my "Anti Gravity's Rainbow" photo. I took pieces of unrecognizable letters to turn them into letters that make sense. 

            I had a potato with gravy and a chicken breast while watching two episodes of Gomer Pyle.

            In the first story Carter comes down with the German measels and has to go into quarantine. Gomer walks right into the isolation ward to visit Carter. Gomer says he never catches anything. As soon as Carter gets out he discovers that Corporal Boyle and everybody in his platoon but Gomer has the German measels. It's driving Carter nuts to be spending so much time alone with Gomer. He learns from the doctor that there is no such thing as immunity and so he tries to get Gomer sick by sending him to visit everyone in the isolation ward. But Carter ends up with a relapse and has to go back in the hospital. He is at least glad to be free of Gomer but then Gomer finally comes down with it and is placed in the bed next to his. 

            The nurse was played by Karen Norris. 

            In the second story it's Marine payday at the base and a sharpie named Friendly Freddy is hanging around outside. He calls Gomer to the fence and sells him what he says is a gold watch for $12.95. He explains that his friend the jeweller is overstocked. Gomer buys it and shows it to Carter who informs Gomer that he's been taken by someone selling stolen merchandize. Carter goes to confront Freddy but Freddy tells him about low overhead and how some things are usually marked up 60%. Carter comes back with a fox fur he got from Freddy for 49.95. Carter gives the fur to Bunny and she's very happy, but while they are dancing the fur starts falling apart. Gomer tracks Freddy down to a pool hall. Freddy says he feels bad and gives Gomer $50 to give the Carter. Carter takes Bunny out to a fancy restaurant to dine and have champagne. But when he pays the cheque with his $50 he is told that it's counterfeit. Freddy was played by Sid Melton, whose first screen role was as Fingers in "Shadow of the Thin Man." He was the comic relief in several dramas such as "Lost Continent." He played the sidekick of the superhero in the 50s series "Captain Midnight". He played Charlie Halper on "The Danny Thomas Show". He played the inept carpenter Alf Monroe on "Green Acres". He played Sophia's dead husband Salvadore Petrello on "The Golden Girls."