Batfink

            On Friday morning I memorized the third verse of “Au charme non plus” (The Charm is Gone) by Serge Gainsbourg. I revised my translation of the chorus and the second verse. 

            I played my Kramer electric guitar during song practice for the first of two sessions.

            I weighed 87.35 kilos before breakfast. 

            Around midday I worked for an hour sanding the rest of the inside of my bathroom door. Now all the sanding is done in the bathroom and so next I need to wash the ceiling and walls to prepare them for filling the cracks and holes. I’ll start that on December 2. I thought I was going to have to buy my own stepladder but I notice there’s an unchained one on the deck now so I might not need to. Now my middays are free to practice for my performance at my book launch in a week, except for Saturdays when I go to the supermarket at midday. 

            I weighed 86.95 kilos before lunch. 

            In the afternoon I took a bike ride downtown and back. 

            I weighed 87.1 kilos at 18:11. 

            I was caught up on my journal at 18:50. 

            I compared the video of my September 11 acoustic song practice performance of “Vomit of the Star Eater” with that of September 6. September 6 looks better and I’m more expressive. I compared September 15 to September 6 and still think that September 6 has more presence and better lighting. I compared September 16 to September 6 and found that September 16 has a few wrong chords and doesn’t look and feel quite as good. I compared September 21 to September 6 and though I think September 21 looks better I’m still feeling the expression of September 6 keeps it on top. I compared September 25 to September 6 and September 25 is better but I got a word wrong and so I’ll keep September 6 in the running for now. I compared September 26 to September 6 and I think September 6 is still so far the best. There are nine more acoustic takes to compare. 

            I got in almost an hour of practice of my song “Paranoiac Utopia” in preparation for my book launch performance and I definitely made progress. I’m still not able to play the song all the way through but I’m holding sections of it together better and they are sounding good. I think in another session I’ll manage to sew some of those parts together. I’ve been worried about time but I’m starting to feel optimistic at least about this song. I still have to re-learn “Memo to the Heart of Insecurity” and polish up “The Next State if Grace”. 

            I had a small potato with the rest of my gravy and a slice of roast beef while watching the first five episodes of Batfink. Batfink is a not particularly clever or funny parody of the Batman TV series with a bit of The Green Hornet thrown in. While Batman is a man who uses bat imagery for his character, Batfink is an actual humanoid talking bat with wings of steel and sonar powers. The BEEPs from his sonar travel through the air and it’s as if the word “BEEP” is solid in how it affects things. The Beep also seems to be intelligent. His assistant Karate is a very large and somewhat dumb parody of The Green Hornet’s sidekick Kato. Batfink’s car is called the Battilac but it looks more like a Volkswagen with bat fins. Batfink also has a hotline to police headquarters and the police chief is always calling him for help in solving a crime. Apparently Batfink is a cyborg but that isn’t indicated in these first five episodes. I’ve read that it’s shown in the final, 100th episode. When he says he has wings of steel at first I thought that it was a metaphor like Superman being “the man of steel”. But the fact that his wings are affected by magnets and have retro rockets suggests that he may actually be a cyborg. 

            In episode 1, the police chief calls because the priceless pink pearl of Persia has disappeared. Batfink goes to the museum and the Beeps of his sonar check for clues. He tells the police chief he knows who stole the pearl but refuses to bring the crook in. The cops and the media think Batfink has turned criminal and so does the gangster who actually stole the pearl. The bad guy calls Batfink to invite him to join forces and gives his address. Batfink walks in and takes the pearl. The gang starts firing but Batfink can use his wings as a bulletproof shield. Then when Karate hears the shots he thinks his boss is in trouble and busts down the door, flattening Batfink. While Batfink is flat on the floor he pulls the carpet out from under the crooks. The pearl flies into Karate’s hands. They drive away, chased by the crooks but Karate turns down a dead end and crashes the Battilac into a wall and the crook retrieves the pearl. The gangsters pull Batfink’s wings apart so their boss has a clear shot but Batfink uses his sonar to cause the mobster pain and then fights free and captures them all. Batfink reveals that he was fibbing when he said he knew who stole the pearl, and so it was a trap so the crook would find him. 

            In episode 2, a mad scientist named Hugo Agogo has caused the city’s electrical system to go haywire and L trains start suddenly moving backward and forward. Batfink tries to find the cause of the chaos with his sonar. But Hugo uses his super duper sonar ruiner which sends out Boops that ambush Batfinks Beeps. But Batfink follows the Boops back to Hugo’s observatory lair. The welcome mat at Hugo’s door springs Batfink inside and into a trap door where he is strapped to a chair and encased in a steam cabinet that threatens to melt his wings. But Batfink’s sonar Beeps fly through the air and turn the dial to turn off the trap. Then a giant magnet pins Batfink’s wings. He signals for Karate who puts on his brass knuckles but then gets caught by the magnet next to Batfink (Brass would not be attracted by a magnet). Batfink says that they are at opposite poles and so if they touch they will cancel it out and so they are freed. Hugo is behind a cast iron door but Batfink’s wings cut through it. Hugo escapes in his mobile city destroyer. The Batillac follows but Hugo causes it to be caught in power lines. However the Batillac is equipped with a thermonuclear insulated plutonium heat shield. They catch up when Hugo runs out of gas but he has a bomb. Batfink’s wings shield them from the explosion but Hugo is knocked out. 

            In episode 3, Hugo has joined forces with Ebenezer Freezer and they attack a military base to encase a colonel in ice. Batfink sends out his sonar and the beeps go into a cloud but they come out encased in ice. Batfink uses his thunder gun to destroy the cloud and reveal Hugo’s helicopter. Hugo tells Ebenezer to use his freezing gas but he used the last drop to make iced tea. Hugo throws the glass at Batfink and knocks him out so he falls but his wings have built-in retro rockets to control his descent. Batfink finds their underground hideout and catches them preparing a freezing rocket. Batfink reveals himself but is shot with a freezing gun and the cube is strapped to the rocket. But the ice melts on re-entry and Batfink catches the crooks after evading a few more unclever tricks. 

            In episode 4, a man named Boomer is flying a supersonic plane low through the city and breaks all the glass including the windshields on the Batillac. It turns out that Boomer owns the Boomer Glass Company and is making millions from people wanting to replace their glass. Batfink comes to him too and doesn’t suspect that Boomer is the villain until as they are about to drive away Karate puts the Battilac in reverse and it crashes into the hangar where Boomer’s plane is. Boomer traps Batfink and Karate in liquid glass. But the tips of Batfink’s wings are diamond hard and sharp enough to cut through the glass. Batfink chases Boomer’s plane and has to shield himself from its jets. 

            In episode 5, Big Ears Ernie the safe cracker has enormous ears that give him super hearing and help him avoid the police while he cracks safes. Batfink sends out his sonar to track Big ears but Big Ears hears the beeps coming and traps them in a box. So Batfink uses the muffler from the Batillac to silence his sonar and this time Big Ears doesn’t hear them. Big Ears traps Batfink and Karate in quick drying cement. Batfink begins to hit his own wings producing loud vibrations that are painful to Big Ears and he surrenders.